Sexual Preference "Signals"

[sincerely_helene]

Great parroty thread!

 

[Guest]

I carry lesbian literature around with me wherever i go. That and the pink tshirt that says "I'm a lesbian"

Does that count?

 

[RogueLurker]

The problem with having signals is that they almost always get missed or are co-opted.

The left/right earing might have been popular for determing if someone was gay ... but then the straight guys didn't know the signal and started piercing the wrong ear or both of them.

I've always been fasinated by the idea handkerchief signals ... but I've never thought that they would be all that useful in a practical situation. I doubt that my little brain could ever keep them straight, and I'd have to wander about with a cheat sheet to figure out who was who and having to double check if that was fuschia, pink, or dark pink. And being colour blind could land you in a whole heap of unexpected trouble ...

 

[RogueLurker]

I carry lesbian literature around with me wherever i go. That and the pink tshirt that says "I'm a lesbian"

Does that count?

Ah ... the direct approach.

Works for me.

 

[AppleBiter]

I love the ring. But I feel so unhip to the world. I had no idea there *was* a standard BDSM symbol.

That makes 2 of us.

 

[Guest]

Ah ... the direct approach.

Works for me.

It gets you laid

 

[Liar]

It gets you laid

I have to try that then. But I doubt an "I'm a lesbian" t-shirt would have the same effect for me.

 

[Guest]

I have to try that then. But I doubt an "I'm a lesbian" t-shirt would have the same effect for me.

how was the pizza?

 

[Guest]

Liar, I've met a number of men who claim they are lesbians in male bodies.

Earrings, unless they are symbolic, are now so common as to have no meaning. Even massive peircings or odd piercings are fairly mainstream (and I live in one of the last backwaters anything "mainstream" gets. We just had our first Starbucks in the COUNTY open this year.) The problem with most symbols is eventually they are mass produced and sold without any particular indication what they mean. Symbols also change meaning because really a symbol HAS no meaning in and of itself. We assign meanings to those odd shapes and colors.

The ring, I believe, hails from The Story of O, and was a symbol used by Roissey (I think), one of the houses where O trains.

I look at sycg subtle signs and signals in a particular way, due to my exposure to them and my study of them. To me, hankie codes, animal identification (otters? Cubs? bears?), jewelry and so forth are all ways for groups of people to have "code languages" to set themselves apart (just like teens tend to create slang that their parents don't understand). It's a shared secret, a way to create an "us" and a "them", a way to create power for groups who tend to be without power or otherwise disenfranchised by the majority. I've seen people wear fine silver chain with tiny locks as necklaces and bracelets as a symbol of being submissive to someone. I've seen people wear particular kinds of clothes (Hot Topic comes to mind, as does designer wear) to send signals to other people -- some of a sexual variety, some with other messages. And it happens often that the "meaning" of something really is dictated by who is wearing it, although I've also witnessed someone "in the know" declaring someone else cannot wear a certain symbol because they are "not part of the group".

If one wishes to look at everything through an interpretive lense of sybolism, everyday ordinary clothes are quite telling, as are hairstyles, eyeglasses, shoes, cars, houses, and the food you order at the fast food place. Our symbols classify, segregate, group and catagorize us for others. OUr symbols argue with one another for us -- think about the plastic Icthus glued on the backs of many cars, and the Darwin fish on others.

If I wear something symbolic, my reason is either "it's pretty" or "it has symbolic resonance for me, and I'm not really concerned with what it means to you."

Personally, if someone wants to know my interests and orientations, the best thing to do is ask me directly. I will answer directly, including whether or not I chose to reveal or discuss said interests and orientations. But I conclude anyone not brave enough to ask doesn't really want to know.

 

[Liar]

how was the pizza?

Round.

 

[artisticbiguy]

I conclude anyone not brave enough to ask doesn't really want to know.

I agree!

If you really want to know something about me, ask... I usually am fairly blunt (and more than occassionally tactless) with my response, but I seldom leave the individual in doubt... unless, of course, I feel like confusing the said person, in which case all bets are off!

 

[Boxlicker101]

I carry lesbian literature around with me wherever i go. That and the pink tshirt that says "I'm a lesbian"

Does that count?

The pink tshirt is what I meant as non-subtle. Not that I would proposition a lesbian because I know it would be a waste of time and embarassment to both of us. A woman wearing a tshirt saying she was available and what she liked to do, on the other hand, would be great.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Horsie darlin', don't you think the bridle is a pretty good indicator?

*grin*

I love the Jammies.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Sheesh..I am so far behind the times. I had to run a search on Google to see what Polyamorous meant . But on a semi-interesting side note, while I was at Google, on of the advertising side bars said "Polyamorous: Find what you're looking for on Ebay"

Damn, they really do have everything!

 

[rgraham666]

Damn, they really do have everything!

Do they have my sanity?

 

[CharleyH]

I have, for example, seen a number of ways of indicating visually that one has a bent for bondage, but none that I would call subtle.

I agree, but I prefer the word tacky.

 

[Stella_Omega]

...

ETA: There is also a lot of jewelery out there with the standard BDSM symbol

http://www.stockroom.com/g/b602b.jpg

When did this become the standard BDSM symbol? I like it, and the symbolism works well, but I'm out of the loop for these past three or four years!
Perhaps in another color it could signify "queer" as opposed to "bisexual" which is a label I scorn.

I sold hankies, one year at NLM in Chicago. When a guy picked out a *brown* hanky, I said nothing. But when the second man did so, I said "I've only sold one other of these this year" He said "Here's my room number- if you see him, pass it on, will you? " So I took it, and did see the gentleman again, and did pass on the info. He was very... excited.

What other signals are there? I don't know, but I remember driving with my girlfriend and she nodded to another car. All the women in it were lesbians, but I don't know how she knew it.

The other day though, I noticed a very nice-looking lesbian couple at the grocery store. I was with my geriatric mother. As we were leaving, she said "Those two women really liked you!"

 

[joeys-game]

I would like to think I would just tell someone if i was interested, then again im pretty shy in the real world..

 

[Tom Collins]

When did this become the standard BDSM symbol? I like it, and the symbolism works well, but I'm out of the loop for these past three or four years!
Perhaps in another color it could signify "queer" as opposed to "bisexual" which is a label I scorn.

I sold hankies, one year at NLM in Chicago. When a guy picked out a *brown* hanky, I said nothing. But when the second man did so, I said "I've only sold one other of these this year" He said "Here's my room number- if you see him, pass it on, will you? " So I took it, and did see the gentleman again, and did pass on the info. He was very... excited.

What other signals are there? I don't know, but I remember driving with my girlfriend and she nodded to another car. All the women in it were lesbians, but I don't know how she knew it.

The other day though, I noticed a very nice-looking lesbian couple at the grocery store. I was with my geriatric mother. As we were leaving, she said "Those two women really liked you!"

Ok, I gotta know. What do colored hankies indicate? I'm especially curious about the brown...does that mean what I think it does? Is it indicative of someone into scat?

 

[NoJo]

I can usually tell within a few minutes whether a guy is gay or straight. Not so with women. I can't read sexuality signals from women so quickly.

 

[minsue]

When did this become the standard BDSM symbol? I like it, and the symbolism works well, but I'm out of the loop for these past three or four years!
Perhaps in another color it could signify "queer" as opposed to "bisexual" which is a label I scorn.

I wondered that myself. As far as I know, the colors don't have significance, but I'm sure I'm probably wrong about that. From Answers.com -

The BDSM emblem triskelion.
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/e/e0/120px-BDSM-emblem.gif

The triskelion has been adopted as an emblem by some BDSM groups, partly based on a description in the Story of O. The specific emblem design is meant to be shown with metallic spokes and circle, and three holes (not dots) within the design. More information is available at the official Emblem Project website.

I really don't know much about it, only from a couple of people I've seen with it and from seeing the jewelry for sale.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Ok, I gotta know. What do colored hankies indicate? I'm especially curious about the brown...does that mean what I think it does? Is it indicative of someone into scat?

You nailed that one!
I tried wearing an antique lace hanky- on the right, if you're wondering- and got the wierdest looks!

Maybe Shang could create a macrame pocket square!

 

[NoJo]

You nailed that one!
I tried wearing an antique lace hanky- on the right, if you're wondering- and got the wierdest looks!

Maybe Shang could create a macrame pocket square!

I sometimes see a guys with pocket calculators sticking out of their back pockets. I guess it's something sick, but I'm still kind of curious

 

[BlackShanglan]

I'm not sure what I ought to wear; I have some small elements of what I do wear, but I'm not sure that they mean anything to anyone else. Like Minsue said, they're mostly just things that mean something to me.

It's odd. I think I have begun and deleted more response to this thread than to any thread anyone has ever posted. How very odd. Possibly it's that to some extent, my life is filled with personal-to-me symbology, but every time I think of explaining an example, I realize that I have reasons for keeping all of that personal. Very odd.

Stella, for some odd reason I never did much care for macrame. But your antique lace hanky sounds beautiful. Has it got a special "standard" meaning, or did you just like the look of it?

Shanglan

 

[BlackShanglan]

I sometimes see a guys with pocket calculators sticking out of their back pockets. I guess it's something sick, but I'm still kind of curious

Gainers. *nods sagely* The symbology is linked to plentitude (numbers) and backside (expanding). I'm not at all making that all up off the top of my head.