fsumusic1981
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2003
- Posts
- 100
This is a long post. I may have divided it into two or more parts to fit it all. I appreciate your reading it and offering advice if you choose to.
A slightly older woman who used to be a manager of mine (she's 25, I'm 22) has the hots for me.
It all started about 3 years ago, back in the year 2001. She was my manager and I was a good looking 19 year old that she had a crush on. I always knew she liked me, but while we were working there, I was in a casual relationship (looking to just play the field) and she was my manager. Besides that, she was very religious (a Southern Baptist, a fundamentalist) and I assumed that she wouldn't be in to fooling around. To make a long story short, nothing came of it.
We worked together until May of 2001, and she left to pursue other work. We stayed in touch via email. Periodically, I would drop by her house to say "Hi." We'd have long talks and watch movies together. Strictly friends. Despite my thinking she was sorta sexy, I didn't want anything else to develop beyond a friendship.
In August of 2001, I moved 6 hours away to attend a different college. We kept in touch via email. In December of 2001, after I saw her over Christmas break, she sent me an email, professing her feelings for me. I knew she felt that way, but I was in a relationship. I gently rebuffed her and we decided we could continue staying friends. We continued corresponding via email.
Over the next year, we emailed regularly and I saw her every few months. I started developing feelings for her despite my being in a relationship. I always kept my pants on and my lips to myself when I saw her, despite growing urges to the contrary. I had intended to email her throughout 2002, telling her of my feelings and my situation. I felt for her strongly and wanted her sexually, but was in a relationship and did not want to leave my girlfriend. I never sent her that email, figuring it was best for all involved to just continue our friendship with my feelings kept to myself.
In early January of 2003, I spilled the beans. I could not keep it inside of me anymore and I wrote her an email. I was confused, I told her this. I wanted her badly but did not want to leave my current partner.
Over the next few months, our friendship changed. At first she was confused by the email, mostly because it came right out of the blue and she wasn't expecting it. She had never had a boyfriend or even kisseed a guy. She wasn't sure what she wanted. Gradually, she decided that she was okay with the fact that I had a girlfriend and our conversations online became more and more directed towards sex.
After a few weeks of this, she would switch "off" and decide she couldn't not be with me. So our conversations would cease. A few days or weeks later, she would send me a photo of herself, invariably with her breasts pushed up in a costume (she acts in plays), or striking a sexy pose with her mouth. We would begin talking again.
When May came around, we were just being friendly, the passion had taken one of its cyclical dips. I was on vacation, and I stopped into see family in my old hometown and we got together. She was being suggestive the whole night. I was fighting the urges. As I was ready to leave, I told her I wanted to kiss her goodnight. She told me that it wasn't a good idea and I left. Nothing happened. I was across the country for the next week and I couldn't get her out of my mind. I emailed her a poem telling her how much she turned me on, how badly I wanted her, what her innuendo was telling me that night, etc.
She emails me back and says "When will you be coming back through town?" I told her the days. She wrote back and said to call her.
Call her I did. We got together and had a great time. We kissed for hours and she performed oral sex on me. She did not want me to perform it back on her (she later regretted this immensely.) For her first time, it was amazing, I'd have to say about the best blowjob I have ever had, even from experienced women. I felt a deep connection with her that night. I also cheated on my girlfriend.
Over the next few months, we continued talking online, in the normal cycle of friendship-sexual-friendship-sexual. She found a boyfriend in July and we ceased communication at her request. Around Halloween, when they broke up, she emailed me telling me. I wrote her back, 100% as a friend, offering my advice and condolences. She started sending me pictures of her breasts pushed up in a midevil maiden costume, with her lips full and pouty and a lusty look in her eyes. We started talking again. Then she found another boyfriend and we stopped talking. When he found out she intended to remain a virgin until marraige, he dumped her. She emailed me again. We started talking again.
So.... now that you know the situation. We talked the other day and she sent me a picture of her extremely large and beautiful bared breasts. Then she asks me if I am getting hard, and tells me what she would like to do to me. She does not seem to mind that I am in a relationship.
I love my girlfriend very much, but our sex life has gotten tame and predictable; my girlfriend is not a very sexual person and I have, honestly, become bored with missionary position sex, with the occasional doggystyle thrown in. She never volunteers to pleasure me orally, despite our repeated discussions where I tell her a "spontaneous blowjob" would be a great thing to get every now and then. Asking for blowjobs gets old when I have to do it 100% of the time. I have talked with her at length about how our lack of sex and her lack of passion sometimes leaves me feeling isolated, unwanted, undesirable, and empty. This other woman offers the promise of passionate, albeit occasional, encounters. She makes me feel desirable and I enjoy her company very much.
I am unsure how to proceed in my situation. I do not want to leave my current girlfriend. I would like things to improve. To all those who might accuse me of not communicating my feelings to my girlfriend, I have communicated them loud and clear. Things have improved after these talks, but only slightly and most of the change is transient. I now find myself considering cheating on my girlfriend again with this other woman.
I would like some advice so that I may find my way in this confusion.
Any input at all is appreciated. With all due respect to those who may feel a certain way, I would not like your responses to consist of people calling me a dirtbag or an asshold because I have cheated. I know this. I would like input to help me make choices, not to be called names to make me feel bad and keep me in the same situation.
I thank you all in advance for taking the time to read this and reply. I truly appreciate it.
-Peace
A slightly older woman who used to be a manager of mine (she's 25, I'm 22) has the hots for me.
It all started about 3 years ago, back in the year 2001. She was my manager and I was a good looking 19 year old that she had a crush on. I always knew she liked me, but while we were working there, I was in a casual relationship (looking to just play the field) and she was my manager. Besides that, she was very religious (a Southern Baptist, a fundamentalist) and I assumed that she wouldn't be in to fooling around. To make a long story short, nothing came of it.
We worked together until May of 2001, and she left to pursue other work. We stayed in touch via email. Periodically, I would drop by her house to say "Hi." We'd have long talks and watch movies together. Strictly friends. Despite my thinking she was sorta sexy, I didn't want anything else to develop beyond a friendship.
In August of 2001, I moved 6 hours away to attend a different college. We kept in touch via email. In December of 2001, after I saw her over Christmas break, she sent me an email, professing her feelings for me. I knew she felt that way, but I was in a relationship. I gently rebuffed her and we decided we could continue staying friends. We continued corresponding via email.
Over the next year, we emailed regularly and I saw her every few months. I started developing feelings for her despite my being in a relationship. I always kept my pants on and my lips to myself when I saw her, despite growing urges to the contrary. I had intended to email her throughout 2002, telling her of my feelings and my situation. I felt for her strongly and wanted her sexually, but was in a relationship and did not want to leave my girlfriend. I never sent her that email, figuring it was best for all involved to just continue our friendship with my feelings kept to myself.
In early January of 2003, I spilled the beans. I could not keep it inside of me anymore and I wrote her an email. I was confused, I told her this. I wanted her badly but did not want to leave my current partner.
Over the next few months, our friendship changed. At first she was confused by the email, mostly because it came right out of the blue and she wasn't expecting it. She had never had a boyfriend or even kisseed a guy. She wasn't sure what she wanted. Gradually, she decided that she was okay with the fact that I had a girlfriend and our conversations online became more and more directed towards sex.
After a few weeks of this, she would switch "off" and decide she couldn't not be with me. So our conversations would cease. A few days or weeks later, she would send me a photo of herself, invariably with her breasts pushed up in a costume (she acts in plays), or striking a sexy pose with her mouth. We would begin talking again.
When May came around, we were just being friendly, the passion had taken one of its cyclical dips. I was on vacation, and I stopped into see family in my old hometown and we got together. She was being suggestive the whole night. I was fighting the urges. As I was ready to leave, I told her I wanted to kiss her goodnight. She told me that it wasn't a good idea and I left. Nothing happened. I was across the country for the next week and I couldn't get her out of my mind. I emailed her a poem telling her how much she turned me on, how badly I wanted her, what her innuendo was telling me that night, etc.
She emails me back and says "When will you be coming back through town?" I told her the days. She wrote back and said to call her.
Call her I did. We got together and had a great time. We kissed for hours and she performed oral sex on me. She did not want me to perform it back on her (she later regretted this immensely.) For her first time, it was amazing, I'd have to say about the best blowjob I have ever had, even from experienced women. I felt a deep connection with her that night. I also cheated on my girlfriend.
Over the next few months, we continued talking online, in the normal cycle of friendship-sexual-friendship-sexual. She found a boyfriend in July and we ceased communication at her request. Around Halloween, when they broke up, she emailed me telling me. I wrote her back, 100% as a friend, offering my advice and condolences. She started sending me pictures of her breasts pushed up in a midevil maiden costume, with her lips full and pouty and a lusty look in her eyes. We started talking again. Then she found another boyfriend and we stopped talking. When he found out she intended to remain a virgin until marraige, he dumped her. She emailed me again. We started talking again.
So.... now that you know the situation. We talked the other day and she sent me a picture of her extremely large and beautiful bared breasts. Then she asks me if I am getting hard, and tells me what she would like to do to me. She does not seem to mind that I am in a relationship.
I love my girlfriend very much, but our sex life has gotten tame and predictable; my girlfriend is not a very sexual person and I have, honestly, become bored with missionary position sex, with the occasional doggystyle thrown in. She never volunteers to pleasure me orally, despite our repeated discussions where I tell her a "spontaneous blowjob" would be a great thing to get every now and then. Asking for blowjobs gets old when I have to do it 100% of the time. I have talked with her at length about how our lack of sex and her lack of passion sometimes leaves me feeling isolated, unwanted, undesirable, and empty. This other woman offers the promise of passionate, albeit occasional, encounters. She makes me feel desirable and I enjoy her company very much.
I am unsure how to proceed in my situation. I do not want to leave my current girlfriend. I would like things to improve. To all those who might accuse me of not communicating my feelings to my girlfriend, I have communicated them loud and clear. Things have improved after these talks, but only slightly and most of the change is transient. I now find myself considering cheating on my girlfriend again with this other woman.
I would like some advice so that I may find my way in this confusion.
Any input at all is appreciated. With all due respect to those who may feel a certain way, I would not like your responses to consist of people calling me a dirtbag or an asshold because I have cheated. I know this. I would like input to help me make choices, not to be called names to make me feel bad and keep me in the same situation.
I thank you all in advance for taking the time to read this and reply. I truly appreciate it.
-Peace
) but would have mixed it up with a lot of maybes and 'on the other hand's. Only thing I'd add is that they are All very young. Problems with the girlfriend are surmountable, if he had the maturity and loved her enough to do so. But he's 22, for G-d's sake! And not in love. 
