Single and ready to mingle!!!

[IhateClowns]

Yes that's right ladies. I'm single and ready to let loose. So which one of you fabulous ladies is ready to ride my rocket ship through your moon and back?

By the way, when I say single, I really mean married with a kid, but on here that's pretty much the same fucking thing right? I have my Livetext turned on and my 80oz bottle of lotion set to auto pump.

So who is ready?

 

[IhateClowns]

I have a huge member that is looking to join your society.

By huge member I mean about 6.5" and a little thicker than average penis, but on here that's the same as a huge fucking cock.

Come on ladies. Open up your vaginas really wide for my huge dick.

 

[IhateClowns]

Come on ladies. I am 6'5" with washboard abs and I run 6 miles a day.

By washboard abs I mean a bit of a cum gut but I can still see my big tow when I look down. Also by 6 miles I mean total for the week walking around my house and at work.

Same difference none the less.

 

[IhateClowns]

I can fuck all night and all day ladies. I'm great at oral and I rebound quicker than everyone other male in the history of men.

By fuck all day and night I mean I hope to last 2 minutes, because I'm overly excited because you are actually allowing my sweaty body on top of yours. Also by rebounding quickly I mean after falling asleep before helping you clean up, then after eating a sandwich and watching sportscenter. Then I'm ready to go for 3 minutes our next time. Thank God I clean the chamber prior or our first time would only last about 40 seconds.

 

[suckonsimon]

Might he think that some of us on lit don't quite say it as it is?

 

[IhateClowns]

Mmmmm Baby. Please know that you're the only one I want. The only one I'll talk to on here. Sure I talk to others but not like I talk to you. You're unique baby.

By that I mean kinda sorta. I only want you, right now, well until you either let me watch you, or you watch me, or until I realize you aren't going to do any of that. Then I will slowly distance myself from you and begin the quest with someone else. It's not you baby. It's me. Really. It's me.

 

[IhateClowns]

Might he think that some of us on lit don't quite say it as it is?

Not sure what you're alluding to Simon

 

[IhateClowns]

Fuck yeah I want to meet you. Just name the time and place. I cannot wait for us to make eye contact.

By meet you I mean, not really. As it was closer I'll make up excuses. Whether it is the car trouble, family illness or even death, or I need to wash my cat. Baby it isn't you though. I want to meet you so bad, but my fucking cat has lost the use of its tongue, so I am required by Toodles vet to bathe him every 39 minutes or he starts to smell like a cat.

 

[Kat73]

Ooooooo you have my nether regions tingling at the thought of your sweaty, less than washboard abs and average sized schlong and your ability to last for two whole minutes... Oh wait. I gotta pee. My bad.

 

[IhateClowns]

Ooooooo you have my nether regions tingling at the thought of your sweaty, less than washboard abs and average sized schlong and your ability to last for two whole minutes... Oh wait. I gotta pee. My bad.

See it's bullshit. You just lead me on. Talking about a 120 second romp session got my average penis slightly rigid. The little blue pill did the rest. Then you have to go empty your bladder. Tell you what. Empty it on me. I love piss play. Squirt that yellow liquid all over me.

By piss play I mean, don't forget to wipe. I just say I enjoy it because if that's what it takes for a money shot on cam then yes. I love piss play.

 

[Kat73]

See it's bullshit. You just lead me on. Talking about a 120 second romp session got my average penis slightly rigid. The little blue pill did the rest. Then you have to go empty your bladder. Tell you what. Empty it on me. I love piss play. Squirt that yellow liquid all over me.

By piss play I mean, don't forget to wipe. I just say I enjoy it because if that's what it takes for a money ahoy on cam then yes. I love piss play.

Anything you want, I'll do for you...

Online that is. I can be anyone in a fantasy. I like all your kinks and even that weird hairess patch over your left testicle. Let me ask... If you have washboard abs, why are you having to cover them for that shadowy, up close shot of your monsteraverage cawk?

By the way. Those are my boots in my AV. Size 10 baby!!!

 

[IhateClowns]

Anything you want, I'll do for you...

Online that is. I can be anyone in a fantasy. I like all your kinks and even that weird hairess patch over your left testicle. Let me ask... If you have washboard abs, why are you having to cover them for that shadowy, up close shot of your monsteraverage cawk?

By the way. Those are my boots in my AV. Size 10 baby!!!

I shave my cock because I like it smooth. I know the ladies don't want to hack up a fur ball. I do it for you, because you like it.

By I do it for you, I mean I do it because I read in a magazine a few years ago that a shaved cock gives the appearance of having a larger cock. In actuality it hasn't seen a vagina in 5 years and my pubic are looks like a proactive commercial because razor blades are so fucking expensive.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

You are so hotttt!

 

[Kat73]

I shave my cock because I like it smooth. I know the ladies don't want to hack up a fur ball. I do it for you, because you like it.

By I do it for you, I mean I do it because I read in a magazine a few years ago that a shaved cock gives the appearance of having a larger cock. In actuality it hasn't seen a vagina in 5 years and my pubic are looks like a proactive commercial because razor blades are so fucking expensive.

I like a shaved cock. Nothing sexier than someone looking prepubescent with sagging balls and wrinkles...

Really? Shave your face instead so that sandpaper shit doesn't wreck my thighs and draw blood when you attempt to lick and suck my dripping wet, unshaved pussy. I mean shaved balls are cool, especially if you expect me to put them in my mouth... do you expect me to swallow a days worth of sweat with your cum...

Oh wait! I mean mmmmmmm sweaty balls. My favorite! I love being able to smell your ball sweat on my lips for the next 48 hours (what is in that shit that the smell doesn't go away??? Maybe Christian Dior should research that.).

 

[IhateClowns]

I like a shaved cock. Nothing sexier than someone looking prepubescent with sagging balls and wrinkles...

Really? Shave your face instead so that sandpaper shit doesn't wreck my thighs and draw blood when you attempt to lick and suck my dripping wet, unshaved pussy. I mean shaved balls are cool, especially if you expect me to put them in my mouth... do you expect me to swallow a days worth of sweat with your cum...

Oh wait! I mean mmmmmmm sweaty balls. My favorite! I love being able to smell your ball sweat on my lips for the next 48 hours (what is in that shit that the smell doesn't go away??? Maybe Christian Dior should research that.).

So hot. I love a bloody pussy. I have been dying to get my red wings. I eat pissy better than anyone else ever. I love the taste of all pussies. The dirtier the better. There is something so delicious about a pussy that tastes like a dirty penny. I am an awesome pussy eater.

By awesome I mean I will lick the ABC's and if you're lucky I will accidentally lose my balance and slip down to your asshole. Then pray you didn't see my disgusted face and lap faster at your pussy to get the tangy asshole taste out of my mouth.

There is nothing hotter than you cumming in my mouth. To taste your sweet juices as you flood my face is so fucking hot.

By cumming in my mouth, I mean you better swallow mine, but I have no desire to be hacking up a phantom hair for the next week. Also there is no joy in being subject to a thigh strangulation as we hope it's you having an orgasm and not an epileptic fit.

 

[IhateClowns]

You are so hotttt!

I really am. Like model hot. I'm so hot I sometimes pretend to be a woman on here just to seduce other women. It's a lot of fun.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

I really am. Like model hot. I'm so hot I sometimes pretend to be a woman on here just to seduce other women. It's a lot of fun.

You'd better PM because I'd totally do ya!

 

[IhateClowns]

You'd better PM because I'd totally do ya!

You're going to have to get in line. There are so many women on here that want to be with other women. It is insane. I had no idea how many closet lesbians there are in the lit world.

 

[lilydance]

Did anyone ever tell you, that you are adorable? And is that a red onesie you wearing? Sexy too.

 

[IhateClowns]

Did anyone ever tell you, that you are adorable? And is that a red onesie you wearing? Sexy too.

No. I sorta float by this place unnoticed. It is nice to be noticed sometimes.

Thank you for the lovely comment. Yes that is a onesie. Yes it has a buttflap. Yes I have worn it backwards before.

 

[Kat73]

You're going to have to get in line. There are so many women on here that want to be with other women. It is insane. I had no idea how many closet lesbians there are in the lit world.

I prefer the term bisexual explorations myself...

I am so breaking up with you and slamming you on every page here. You man whore! Talking to another woman in the middle of our online steamy love affair...

Sob, sob, sob.

I mean, pshew, he isn't looking for a commitment...I didn't want to pretend to want to meet him, have mind blowing fake orgasms and never call him again.

And I have to go have mind blowing sex with my well hung husband.

I mean, time to go to work...

 

[IhateClowns]

I prefer the term bisexual explorations myself...

I am so breaking up with you and slamming you on every page here. You man whore! Talking to another woman in the middle of our online steamy love affair...

Sob, sob, sob.

I mean, pshew, he isn't looking for a commitment...I didn't want to pretend to want to meet him, have mind blowing fake orgasms and never call him again.

And I have to go have mind blowing sex with my well hung husband.

I mean, time to go to work...

Once again I call bullshit. Claiming to be happily married? On lit? In the PG? Yeah ok. And the Kennedy women don't have a closet full of black dresses.

I am hurt that because I talk to a woman or two or 40 you just assume I'm fucking all of them. Maybe in my mind I am, but not literally. Well unless they told me they want to. Then it's their fault. Not mine.

 

[sunshinegirl05]

I prefer the term bisexual explorations myself...

I am so breaking up with you and slamming you on every page here. You man whore! Talking to another woman in the middle of our online steamy love affair...

Sob, sob, sob.

I mean, pshew, he isn't looking for a commitment...I didn't want to pretend to want to meet him, have mind blowing fake orgasms and never call him again.

And I have to go have mind blowing sex with my well hung husband.

I mean, time to go to work...

we can go off and become secret lovers

 

[DoRaMe]

I am new to Lit *cough, cough* and I really haven't done anything like this before. I really like your av, it is so sexy! I think red really is your color. You might have to take it slow with me since I don't know about all this cam and picture stuff. I know you are a big, strong man, but please have patience with me. I just can't wait to take all of that big, meaty manhood down my throat.

(I have had so many men on here I need a spreadsheet to remember all their names, likes and locations! Heck, I just want to see if I can hook another one. No pics or cam? Ok let me think what I did with that 64GB zip drive...hmmm. Yeah, right...you will be lucky if you get the head in before I start gagging. And yeah, you are cumming on my breasts...not because it is sexy, but no way am I swallowing it.)

 

[mudpuppy99]

Come on ladies. I am 6'5" with washboard abs and I run 6 miles a day.

By washboard abs I mean a bit of a cum gut but I can still see my big tow when I look down. Also by 6 miles I mean total for the week walking around my house and at work.

Same difference none the less.

Ok...I'm dense...what does this mean??