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How to love a broken girl

How to love a broken girl. How many would benefit from an instruction book for that?
Its easy to love the carefree girls, the “normal” girls, the confident girls next door, but what about the broken girls?
The girls with fortresses around their heart and shields in their eyes?
The girls whose souls have aged beyond their earthly years?
The girls with bodies and minds that have survived wars which would break the strongest of men?
Sometimes these girls should come with a warning label. The warning pendulum swings both ways.
This warning is not only for how you must treat her but for all the ways she will ruin you.

1. You cannot love her gently. She does not realize she deserves to be loved. You must love her with a force that can crush mountains. You must burn her soul so hot with your love that doubt melts away. Your love must be unconditional and you must show her on her very worst days.

2. She doesn't know shes beautiful. She can get compliments all day and she wont believe it. There is a demon on her shoulder whispering that its not true. It takes a dozen compliments to erase one hurtful torment from her past. Shower her with compliments, be her cheerleader, until your words are her heartbeat instead of her doubts.

3. Chase her. I know we often have the attitude of not chasing anyone. I know it is said to be weak if we chase someone who walks away, but we need to see you are weak for us. Sometimes a broken girl needs to see how much you need her. She needs to.see that vulnerability in your eyes to feel ok. We need you to need us.

4. She needs routine. Broken girls over analyze everything. They notice everything, too. Did you stop asking her for pictures after some time passes? Did you stop using a pet name? Every broken pattern to us means the end of the only thing we have ever wanted and it terrifies us.

5. Smother us with affection. Touch us. Kiss us. Touch us some more. Broken girls have not experienced enough positive affection in their life. We will absorb every ounce as a person dying of thirst demands water. You cannot shower us with enough of a good touch.

6. Be honest and keep promises. Broken girls have not dared to dream much. Every vow made to us has been broken. Every promise has been a lie. We would rather you never let a promise escape your lips than have you utter false ones.

7. Prepare to drown. If we let you inside our chaotic soul, you will be immersed in a madness you will not understand. We sometimes walk the balance beam of insanity and sometimes we fall.

The biggest warning we should have is this... if we love you, it is forever. We will love you with a loyalty that will amaze you. We will be committed and our heart will beat your name. While we are still broken we will try to devour all of your pain. We will be perceptive to your wounds and eager to heal your soul. If we love you, please be prepared that we will forever stay.

***This was not written by me, but by Lady-Savant on fet***​
 
Last edited:
cascadiabound said:
How to love a broken girl
[.....]​
***This was not written by me, but by Lady-Savant on fet***​
Click to expand...
I have been thinking about this post for a few days, and the ways in which it resonates with me, and yet the way I entirely reject the term"broken girl" ~ at least for myself. Therefore, I am going to attempt to revise the original post to more accurately convey what feels right to me. (and maybe others here...:rose:)
​

How to Love a Woman
Who has Experienced Brokenness​


How to love a woman who has felt pain? Grief? Suffering? A woman who has experienced more than her fair share of brokenness in her life? A woman who has lost everything? Or who has experienced real terror? A woman who has loved and been betrayed? Brokenness. Pain. Suffering. How many would benefit from an instruction book, the recipe to love a woman who is that complicated?

It's easy to love those who are carefree, the “normal” ones, the confident girl-next-door, but what about the others?
The women with fortresses around their heart and shields in their eyes?
The women whose souls have aged beyond their earthly years?
The women whose bodies and minds have survived assaults and wars which could have broken the strongest of men?​

Sometimes I think these women should come with a warning label. A warning that goes both ways:
A warning regarding not only how she must be treated,
but also for all the ways she just might tear into your soul
as you try to love her. ​
1. You cannot love her gently. She does not know she deserves to be loved. You must love her with a force that can crush mountains. You must burn her soul so hot with your love that all doubt melts away. Your love must be unconditional and you must show her your love is steady and true most especially on her very worst days.

2. She doesn't believe she's beautiful. She can get compliments all day and she won't believe it, not really. There is a demon on her shoulder whispering that it's not true. It takes a dozen (or more) compliments to erase one hurtful torment from her past. Shower her with compliments, be her cheerleader and her ally, until she can feel your words as sure as her heartbeat instead of her self-doubts.

3. Pursue her. It has become fashionable of late to not chase or pursue, to be coy in our affection. Some say it is a sign of weakness if we go after someone who walks away, who retreats from us, but women who have experienced brokenness need to see you are weak for us. Sometimes a woman like this needs to see just how much you need her. She needs to see that vulnerability reflected back in your eyes to feel safe, to know that she is in this with you. We need you to need us.

4. She needs routine. Women who have experienced brokenness over analyze everything. They notice everything, too. Did you stop asking her for pictures after a while? Did you stop using a pet name? Every broken pattern means the end of the only thing we have ever wanted and frankly it terrifies us and reminds us of all of the loss of our past and the fears we cannot help but harbor.

5. Smother us with affection. Touch us. Kiss us. Touch us some more. Women who have experienced brokenness have not received enough positive affection in their life. We will absorb every ounce as a person dying of thirst demands water. You cannot shower us with enough of a good touch.

6. Be honest and keep your promises. Women who have experienced brokenness may not have dared to dream. Too many vow have been broken. Promises that turned out to be half truths or lies. Those who were charged with our protection let us down, let us fall, or simple were not there. We would rather you promise us nothing, than to utter falsehoods that will disappoint us yet again.

7. Prepare to drown. If we let you inside our chaotic messy soul, you will be immersed in a madness you will not understand. We sometimes walk the balance beam of insanity and sometimes we fall.

The biggest warning we should come with is this... if we love you, it is forever. We will love you with an intensity and a loyalty that will amaze and astound you. We will be committed and our heart will beat your name. Even in our own brokenness we will try to devour all of your pain. We will be perceptive to your wounds and eager to heal your soul. Once we love you, be prepared for us to be unwavering in our devotion to you. It will be unlike any love you have ever known.
 
#2

cascadiabound said:
How to love a broken girl

How to love a broken girl. How many would benefit from an instruction book for that?
Its easy to love the carefree girls, the “normal” girls, the confident girls next door, but what about the broken girls?
The girls with fortresses around their heart and shields in their eyes?
The girls whose souls have aged beyond their earthly years?
The girls with bodies and minds that have survived wars which would break the strongest of men?
Sometimes these girls should come with a warning label. The warning pendulum swings both ways.
This warning is not only for how you must treat her but for all the ways she will ruin you.

1. You cannot love her gently. She does not realize she deserves to be loved. You must love her with a force that can crush mountains. You must burn her soul so hot with your love that doubt melts away. Your love must be unconditional and you must show her on her very worst days.

2. She doesn't know shes beautiful. She can get compliments all day and she wont believe it. There is a demon on her shoulder whispering that its not true. It takes a dozen compliments to erase one hurtful torment from her past. Shower her with compliments, be her cheerleader, until your words are her heartbeat instead of her doubts.

3. Chase her. I know we often have the attitude of not chasing anyone. I know it is said to be weak if we chase someone who walks away, but we need to see you are weak for us. Sometimes a broken girl needs to see how much you need her. She needs to.see that vulnerability in your eyes to feel ok. We need you to need us.

4. She needs routine. Broken girls over analyze everything. They notice everything, too. Did you stop asking her for pictures after some time passes? Did you stop using a pet name? Every broken pattern to us means the end of the only thing we have ever wanted and it terrifies us.

5. Smother us with affection. Touch us. Kiss us. Touch us some more. Broken girls have not experienced enough positive affection in their life. We will absorb every ounce as a person dying of thirst demands water. You cannot shower us with enough of a good touch.

6. Be honest and keep promises. Broken girls have not dared to dream much. Every vow made to us has been broken. Every promise has been a lie. We would rather you never let a promise escape your lips than have you utter false ones.

7. Prepare to drown. If we let you inside our chaotic soul, you will be immersed in a madness you will not understand. We sometimes walk the balance beam of insanity and sometimes we fall.

The biggest warning we should have is this... if we love you, it is forever. We will love you with a loyalty that will amaze you. We will be committed and our heart will beat your name. While we are still broken we will try to devour all of your pain. We will be perceptive to your wounds and eager to heal your soul. If we love you, please be prepared that we will forever stay.

***This was not written by me, but by Lady-Savant on fet***​
Click to expand...

Number 2 is the hardest. She'll think you dishonest and only want to use her. Pursue her too often and you'll chase her away

After a terrible breakup and when my heart was blown to millions of worthless pieces . . . I met a wonderful young lady and she loved me dearly. When she told me I was handsome my temper got the better of me and I drover her away with my anger and disbelief.
 
Last edited:
"She may never have been whole,
but he was most definitely the other half of what she had left.
She may not always know where she was heading,
but he was always by her side.
She may never love all of herself the way she deserved,
but he did…and she believed he always would."​
 
i love you like a new year’s first kiss
and every one that comes after.

i love you like the first fresh sheet of snow
in january.
no footprints, or children’s angels.
only the sound of nothing. the sting,
of frozen air in your nose.
the crunch of your foot breaking its
perfection.

i love you like the end of august.
dusk at 9pm.
the air so heavy, it weighs your
shoulders down.
cicadas and grasshoppers singing
our song.
fireflies that you still catch
in mason jars
for me.
sweat in big thick drops rolling
form forehead to collarbone
and we are on the porch, swinging.

i love you like crying. weeping.
i love you like death and dying.
my love is all the pain in this life.

i love you like a first child
being born and named
into this world.

i love you when you are strong.
and when you are decidedly not.

you cannot stop
the sun from burning.
you cannot stop the wind
from churning up the seas.
you cannot stop the movement of time.
don’t try to stop me.

by lavndir​
 
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