Spare a thought for your erotica characters

[StillStunned]

Andy Mycock shares his story: What life is like when you have an unfortunate surname

 

[sijopunk]

Don't I know it. My real name is Climax Sohard. It's pronounced "clee-MASH".

Edit: sorry if I derailed the thread in one post but it's Saturday

 

[BeechLeaf]

I once owned a very good, interesting book on (as far as I can recall) the scientific basis of Freudian psychoanalysis. By one Christopher Badcock. Christopher = bearer of the murdered father figure, a very Freudian name, I thought.

 

[AStrangeDesire]

I mean, think of some of the people that live in Dildo, Newfoundland.

Imaging ordering stuff over the phone, and how many times you have to spell and explain that, yes, that really is the name of your town

 

[KittyOfSteele]

 

[yowser]

Not to mention Jamie and Brenda Bragton living in Stoutwood MS.

 

[Venefica]

There is, more exactly was, the Austrian town "Fucking", which renamed itself to Fugging. A brewery sold a beer called "Fucking Hell". Hell is German for "light" as opposite to dark. Hell means in connection with beer a lager-type beer.

And no, "Fucking Hell" was NOT chosen accidentally. The name for the beer was later forbidden by a court decision.

 

[liliput1]

I worked with a Harry Wang. “Can I call you Harold?” I asked, figuring that would help me maintain my professionalism. “No, I prefer Harry.”

Of course you fucking do.

 

[Venefica]

I just learned via Wikipedia that "Fucking Hell" is now allowed as a trademark.

 

[alohadave]

Andy Mycock shares his story: What life is like when you have an unfortunate surname

My wife worked with a man named Glasscock. I always felt bad for what his daughters must have gone through.

 

[BeechLeaf]

Oh, and I once worked with a guy called Dick Printz.

 

[TheLobster]

My wife worked with a man named Glasscock. I always felt bad for what his daughters must have gone through.

That he had daughters is proof enough that your name doesn’t have to hold you back!

 

[Kumquatqueen]

The spouse had a classmate surnamed Sandicock. Known to all as Grittywilly.

I knew a few people with the surnames Cockburn and Cockshott. The CK is silent, though I never figured out if that was because they were posh or because they were sensible.

One of my characters insists on going by his surname, Wang. Several of the others speculate in how bad his personal names could possibly be. (though moving to a country where harry and hairy aren't homophones might be a good start!)

 

[MrPixel]

IRL I've run across a fair number of folks named "Koch". I've heard "Cook", "Cotch", "Coke", and, yes, even "Cock". I never know which one to use unless told. Funny business, this American English interpretation of Old-World surnames.

While I do quite a bit of wordplay in my stories, messing around with character names is not one of them because IMO it would distract from the story line. Unless I'm talking about porno characters, and for realism I do what they do and err on the ridiculous and snickering side.

 

[TheLobster]

IRL I've run across a fair number of folks named "Koch". I've heard "Cook", "Cotch", "Coke", and, yes, even "Cock". I never know which one to use unless told. Funny business, this American English interpretation of Old-World surnames.

It's a German name, so [kox] would be the default way to say it. [x] is the hard 'ch' which doesn't exist in English but occurs in some Scottish words like "loch".

But yes, some apparently choose a different English pronunciation, including one of the Artemis II astronauts who had picked [kuk].

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Oh, and I once worked with a guy called Dick Printz.

True story.

Manager: Shit, I just got another email from (client) Dick.

Me: Is he a dick?

Manager: Well, his last name is Head.

100% true story.

 

[liliput1]

The spouse had a classmate surnamed Sandicock. Known to all as Grittywilly.

I knew a few people with the surnames Cockburn and Cockshott. The CK is silent, though I never figured out if that was because they were posh or because they were sensible.

One of my characters insists on going by his surname, Wang. Several of the others speculate in how bad his personal names could possibly be. (though moving to a country where harry and hairy aren't homophones might be a good start!)

I know a Cockburn professionally, but I only have to stop myself from joking about it when I see it written down. I guess my brain remembers things more phonetically, which tracks.

Cock burn? Owie!

 

[Olderwiserstillhorny]

Nascar driver retired
Dick Trickle

The town of
Climax Minnesota

 

[MajorRewrite]

Rusty Kuntz was the name of an actual professional baseball player.

Okay, Rusty was his nickname. Real name Russell.

Anyway, Kuntz is a fine name for a sex story character.

 

[Bamagan]

I like giving my characters naming puns, but they're usually the kind of thing that would only make sense to the reader in the context of the story. Except in one, which is intended to be somewhat farcical, and two special agents are named Harry Balzac and Anita Wang.

 

[Bamagan]

Don't I know it. My real name is Climax Sohard. It's pronounced "clee-MASH".

Edit: sorry if I derailed the thread in one post but it's Saturday

You should have a daughter and name her Squirt.

 

[AllenWoody]

True story.

Manager: Shit, I just got another email from (client) Dick.

Me: Is he a dick?

Manager: Well, his last name is Head.

100% true story.

There is or was a Richard Head car dealership in Columbia, MO.

 

[Rambling_Chantrix]

Is the thread title an entreaty for us to give our characters respectable names?

 

[StillStunned]

Is the thread title an entreaty for us to give our characters respectable names?

Or, if you give them suggestive names, at least feel bad about it for a moment or two.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I love watching documentaries or reading an article, and someone comes along with a name that you just have to imagine they had fun in middle school:

Dick Spotswood is one of my favorites.