Starting to swing

[QBntailback]

My fiance' and I have thrown around the idea of bringing people into the mix. We both have all the normal apprehensions about it and are basically asking for advice on smart tips to do, instead of telling you all ive thought about to do already, ill just let you tell us about/from your experience. whatquestions to ask, how to go about it.....
We talked about just bringing in a girl, but she could find or think of anyone she would feel comfortable, and though I like the idea of watching her with another man, Im unsure if the actual act while i was there by myself would be as good as the fantasy.
The latest is bringing a couple of same age, background (the girl a mutual friend of hers) in which she has never met the guy and i have only met the girl once, basically creating a foursome where we are all there at the same time. However Im not sure if the male is straight/bi/curious or what.......I basically want to know the smart things to do and the dumb things people have learn from experience, my main concern is to keep my fiance and mines relationship strong, nay stronger becuase of it. I love her dearly and dont not want anything to happen that might make us change our outlook.

ok everyone GO!!!

 

[QBntailback]

No one? should i repost in a different room?
Were new to all this, so bear with us....

 

[SweetErika]

Well, the "ok everyone GO!!! " demand doesn't usually encourage people to post.

It also doesn't help that there are many threads on this same topic already, and you don't want to tell us what you've thought/talked about so far, I think.

Because I'm feeling charitable this morning, here are a couple of them (I searched for 'threesome', but it's basically the same advice for three or four people):
https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=8274250&postcount=8 (Scroll down)
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=322529&highlight=three*

 

[subwannabe]

Do either of you think the other couple would be interested? I would think that you would have to search out possibilities, and do some foursome dating to get to know each other better before doing an actual foursome foursome. By talking it out ahead of time maybe you can have a better idea of what to expect when the time comes. Fantasies can often be different than realities. I would try to iron out the ending scenario ahead of time so there are no surprises.

 

[QBntailback]

Well, the "ok everyone GO!!! " demand doesn't usually encourage people to post.

It also doesn't help that there are many threads on this same topic already, and you don't want to tell us what you've thought/talked about so far, I think.

Because I'm feeling charitable this morning, here are a couple of them (I searched for 'threesome', but it's basically the same advice for three or four people):
https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=8274250&postcount=8 (Scroll down)
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=322529&highlight=three*

I tink I picked the wrong smiley, lol. It was meant to be like a ready set go kind of thing, in any case.
We looked in the how to section for something that sounded like it was us, and though we did not look for hour we kind of came up empty handed so thought to make a personal post, especially since we dont type here very often. Thought it would be a good ice breaker for us.

To answer subs question. Yes the other couple knows and is interested, we both are, theres just the intial anxiety and nervousness that surrounds this i guess.
If anyone cares to know, heres the story:
A couple of nights ago my fiance' had a couple of girlfriends over for a bottle of wine and some diner. i was suppose to go to band practice but had a something going on with my head, felt a little out of it and dizzy so i decided to stay, of course i stayed out of there way being how i was not supposed to be there. Well Im in the bedroom and suddenly my fiance comes in asking me about the whole threesome thing weve talked about, then she asks how i would feel about a FOURSOME, as it turns out one of her friends shes known forever is bisexual and they were talking about it and she said they her AND her boyfriend have been looking for a couple to try it out with. My fiance has never been with a woman or in a threesome, and i have only been in threesomes with women. Now the other couple has been in a threesome(only oral though) before but it was a bad experience becuase of who the other girl was (apparently his ex)
Also neither I nor my fiance have ever met the guy, just seen pictures over the internet, and i just met the girl from the other couple that night. The girls seem to think this is a good thing as we dont really have any ties to each other except for them and they do not ever talk much at all, or at least have not in quite some time.

Also Thanks sweet erika for those threads, im about to look them up now.

 

[subwannabe]

This is how I would proceed if it were me:

I would schedule some sort of activity or date that all of you could do together to get to know each other better, with the understanding that you will all go home to your own homes afterward. Then you can all talk about it separately and make a decision as to if you want to proceed or not. Sounds like this could work out and you can have a fun time the next time you get together. Good luck.

 

[QBntailback]

good advice

I am actually speaking with the female of the other couple over the internet today and we all came up with pretty much exactly that. I brought up it would be neat to go on a double date, except me with the other couples female and my fiance with the others male. (I find that very hott btw) of course we plan on meeting before to get the dos and donts out of the way for the date....We figure if we cant handle sitting next to are mate in a movie theater while they kiss the other person, we deffinately dont need to be taking are close off, ahahahaha.
does that sound like a "sound" plan?

 

[subwannabe]

I think so. Interesting twist, and probably a good idea.

 

[oriondog]

Good Thread

I think this is a good thread. Alot better than most. You can sort of pick through the phonies and have fun reading the real ones.
Good job:
keep it doing
oriondog

 

[SweetErika]

I tink I picked the wrong smiley, lol. It was meant to be like a ready set go kind of thing, in any case.

It's not unheard of for us to get demands or expressions of frustration/impatience at the speed or lack of responses. Plus, all we have to go on is what's written, especially when we're not familiar with the member. Taking the time to preview and proofread your posts from the perspective of someone who doesn't know you will cut down on the likelihood of miscommunication in the future.

If you want to clarify your post to increase the likelihood of more replies, click the 'Edit' button at the bottom of the post you want to change.

We looked in the how to section for something that sounded like it was us, and though we did not look for hour we kind of came up empty handed so thought to make a personal post, especially since we dont type here very often. Thought it would be a good ice breaker for us.

I understand. Next time you're curious about something, check out The Blank Manual and FAQs Before Posting stickies near the top of the main How To forum page. In the FAQs, you'll find detailed instructions on using the forum search function and how to search Lit using Google. It takes a little time (though that'll decrease as you get more familiar with the boards and searching), but it's usually a lot faster than typing out a longer post and waiting for replies on a common topic like threesomes, swinging, anal, toys, safety, etc.

If you're still having trouble after that, or have a really specific situation, you shouldn't have trouble getting help.

My fiance has never been with a woman or in a threesome, and i have only been in threesomes with women. Now the other couple has been in a threesome(only oral though) before but it was a bad experience becuase of who the other girl was (apparently his ex)
Also neither I nor my fiance have ever met the guy, just seen pictures over the internet, and i just met the girl from the other couple that night. The girls seem to think this is a good thing as we dont really have any ties to each other except for them and they do not ever talk much at all, or at least have no in quite some time.

I'd suggest talking about what, specifically, you two want, outside of the bedroom. Do you want to start with the guys watching the girls, to give the girls time alone first, or to just have sex in the same room with your respective partners? How far are you comfortable going the first time - swapping touching/kissing, oral, full sex? What are the things you're uncertain about, and fairly sure you wouldn't be okay with? What will you do if one of you is really uncomfortable during? Will you have a signal? What are your concerns (e.g. pregnancy, STDs [possible, even with condoms, and men aren't tested for HPV], negative reactions), how will you guard against them, and what will you do if they come to fruition?

Communicating is important to guard against harming your relationship and misunderstandings with the other couple.

If you get to the actual foursome, don't do something stupid like drink too much or take drugs. If you have to have something to relax or give you courage, you're not comfortable with it, and it'll likely end badly. And use barriers for any penetration and oral, even if everyone says they're healthy.

 

[QBntailback]

Thank you. I was better aquainted with the female partner this last sat.(nothing sexual jsut got a chance to hang out with and talk) and this fri. we are attending a party thrown by the couple. This will mark the meeting of all four of us at the same time, so hopfully everything will go good and no one will seem uncomfortable for the first (non sexual) encounter. ill keep you guys filled in (incase anyone is reading and wondering)

 

[SunshineLdy]

It's touch and go. I started out with my partner at the time when I was younger, having sex with a couple that were friends and we all had sex in the same room. Then we moved to exchanging partners, and doubling up. Done right it's a ball! Currently, I let my husband have a woman repeatedly, and I had my first "Bi" experiance. I had a really good time with what I thought was a friend and my husband, who at the time I trusted. Turns out he thought since I allowed it, they thought they could do it any &(&(*&(& time they wanted.

When I caught them (I was taking care of my newborn at the time), I pretty much lost everything in a glance. The friendship has not survived....she's pretty much in danger if she so much comes near me or my family again. And I have no clue, months later, if the marriage will survive.

I had no illusions that if I played along he'd allow a MMF, but I did have illusions of trust.

Now I've let a monster out of the bag, I doubt that I'm enough. I'm by no means "Vanillia flavored", but he's so far out there now it seems like it's only a matter of time that even if I trusted him, I won't be what he wants.

And now that I'm hurt by this "TREAT" I gave him/us, it's even less likely that I'll care to try and be what he wants now.

So, be careful what you wish for

 

[QBntailback]

wow, im really sorry about your situation. I also thank you for sharing. That is deff. a senario I would be afraid of.


So update, it hasnt been called off, but i still havent met the boyfriend yet, it seems as though perhaps maybe at the moment they arent in the best of times to be doing this and We have taken a step back to kind of see what happens....were all young and have plenty of life left. so cheers....were havng a party this weekend!!!

 

[SunshineLdy]

If you do it, I'd suggest you make sure to express to your S/O how special they are. Even with the "Remember whens", I'd tell them that it was the feeling you, watching you, experiencing it with YOU that made it special. Every one of us wants to be the best for their partner, for the other's pleasure, and for your partner's ego.

Mine definitely did NOT do it right. But I've been through it with others before and it can be wonderful. I've had one BF that handled sharing me, once. Only once but I remember it clearly and it ROCKED so OMG I loved it!. I've given SO's/BF other women before, and I loved being the one to allow them to explore two women at once (but except for the last time, I never played with the females...only shared him with them). What man wouldn't love that! It was a great ego boost for both parties, usually.

My Husband and I are still working on the previous incident. He assumed it was round two (or 32 for all I know I wasn't in the room, I had to care for the baby), and because I'd allowed it earlier in the day it would be okay for them to do it without ME. It wasn't and he made me feel like an uncomfortable used shoe he was done with, so I'd definitely make sure FIRM guidlines are IN place before, and after on behaviours.

 

[QBntailback]

I know that one must is for any and all times anyone ecounters the other we would all have to be there, if not, its just cheating. I actually gave the female the address to this site and shes been reading it as well as me and my fiance. they are in a bit of a fight at the moment, but they are working through it, its nothing thats threatening but we all agree we want to be in the perfect mind set before pursuing this. perhaps we can encourage the other couple to get on here as well

 

[AZLovelyLady]

I think it's a really great thing that you met another couple that really wants to communicate and do things with good time.
Many times when I fantasize about group sex it's always so spontaneous that when I hear or read people's stories about how unspontaneous it all really is, it's a reality check!
Please post your experience or update us cuz I'm totally interested in hearing about your experience.
Cheers!

 

[QBntailback]

thank you az lady. I think were doing the right thing by going slow. It seems as though the speed bump wasnt really that, it was a mis said drunken comment thatmade the other guy feel insecure, but once they got it worked out, there both just as excited as ever, i think maybe sometime this weekend, we are going to have the first "meeting" just to talk about it. we had talk about meeting up and having dinner this week, but my fiance and i are wipeout food wise and energy wise from a huge party we had over the weekend. So i think this weekend is the best route, we will all be rested and not worried about anything else but....are wants and need for this thing to happen.

 

[pace_purr]

relax

I remember when we first tried swinging, the first couple we met in their home (big mistake) we both nearly got raped. Honestly they were not what we were looking for apparently the had a reputation for doing that . Go somewhere other than your home, honestly discuss what everybody is looking for. We are not great believers of swinging with couples that are not in a commited long term relationship. Also don't swing with couples that are only doing it to save their marriage (it wont) and it may cause damage to yours. Swinging is a fantastic experience but its not always what you hope it will be. Main thing to remember is NO means NO not maybe. After that relax and enjoy with no recriminations afterwards.