Stay uninvolved

[ChromeCollar]

An off the wall question, but I was wondering how one stays uninvolved in a relationship. Especially an internet relationship?

I got out of one about three months ago, a fairly long one with a very rough ending. I swore up and down that I wouldnt do it again, no more attachments via the net, all that happy crap. Well, there is a guy from my past, and we've been hanging out again, and here I am getting attached. He wants to meet, talk on the phone, all that good stuff and I am skittish as hell.

How can I stay away from all that, without hurting his feelings, without him thinking that I dont like him. I do like him, and adore him, but the internet relationship just doesnt seem to work for me. Any advice from you love gurus out there, on how to keep myself distant from getting to serious with him, without giving him the message that I want him gone for good? I certainly dont want him gone.

 

[SweetErika]

I think telling him what you just said to us about being nervous and not wanting a repeat of the pain would be a really good start. You could also let him know that you need some time to heal and you'd love to stay in contact but take it slow or put it on the back burner while you heal. Good luck!

 

[Stiffy Says...]

Just be careful...

...I recently had to end a 3 month thing with a gf because I was treating it back-burner like, and had been up front about it, but she fell head over heels. Breaking that off was hard, because I hate hurting people, especially good people. Seems every time we are in contact, I feel this huge sense of guilt over hurting her, and the tone of our conversations leads me to think she kind of wants that, but will not cop to trying to lay on the guilt.

To top it off - her father had a heart attack the next morning after I broke up with her.

I still want to be friends, but for now we are trying a break of communication indefinately, till "the dust settles". I hope it works, we shall see.