Steven Wrightisms

[DallasDonna]

Just one at a time, please!

I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Just one at a time, please!

I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.

omg omg omg

Steven Wright is a scream.

shoot, I remember him from twenty-five years ago---when he had hair!

 

[DallasDonna]

omg omg omg

Steven Wright is a scream.

shoot, I remember him from twenty-five years ago---when he had hair!

Big fluffy hair. There are clips on YouTube.

'Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.'

 

[AbsintheFather]

Just one at a time, please!

I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.

Reminds me of the Red Peters ditty Ballad of a Dog Named Stains

The refrain is 'Come, Stains'

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Reminds me of the Red Peters ditty Ballad of a Dog Named Stains

The refrain is 'Come, Stains'

*tsk*

naughty!!

 

[DarkrSide]

I wonder if Miles Davis is known as Kilometers Davis in Europe?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I wonder if Miles Davis is known as Kilometers Davis in Europe?

lol lol lol

 

[BradBigBrain]

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

 

[Lord_Michael]

"Last night someone broke into my house and stole all my furniture. Then replaced it with exact replicas."

 

[DallasDonna]

'Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?'

 

[DallasDonna]

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

 

[merryohmd]

Why do my feet smell and my nose run?

 

[jameslewis]

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If pro is good and con is bad - why is the Constitution admired and prostitution a crime?

What happens if you get scared half to death - twice?

 

[merryohmd]

If pro is good and con is bad - why is the Constitution admired and prostitution a crime?

What happens if you get scared half to death - twice?

You cheated - just one at a time!!!

 

[C5MiGuy]

What happens if you get scared half to death - twice?

<mathgeek>You'd be 3/4 dead</mathgeek>

 

[merryohmd]

I have a light switch in my house, turn if on nothing, turn it off nothing; over and over - lady in Germany calls and says "cut it out".

 

[merryohmd]

My socks are different colors, I match them by thickness.

 

[DallasDonna]

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

 

[C5MiGuy]

He played a pilot in So I Married an Axe Murderer, he is flying the plane and sleeping. Wakes up, "I had the worst nightmare. I was born 8-1/2 months premature. All the doctors were freaking out."

 

[DallasDonna]

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

 

[DallasDonna]

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

 

[justuandmekiddo]

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

I wish I still had that old cassette from years, ago, so I could go listen to it. Damn that made me sound old

 

[beachbaby179]

"If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

Genius...

 

[aace714]

oscar winner

Have you ever seen The Appointments of Dennis Jennings.
He won an oscar for it in 1989 for best short film

 

[dutchrain]

*grins* I read the thread title as: Seven Rightisms and wondered ...

I might need to google/Youtube Mr Wright, he looks like fun by what you all posted here.