Story Rejected - Is there a way to get more specific feedback from the admins?

[getnakedgoswimming]

Hello,

I have a story that was rejected twice for "formatting of dialogue". The first time it was rejected I went through and made updates to make it more clear. Now it has been rejected again, and I'm a little confused as to why. Is there any way to find out the specific issue? I don't want to bother the admins.

There is a section of the story where the characters correspond by text message which I have styled differently, and I'm wondering if that could be it? I also use "they" for one of the characters, and possibly that it is?

I've read the story over, and obviously I'm missing something.

I sent a message to a volunteer editor and am waiting for a response, I just wanted to find out if there was a way to get more specific feedback from the admins as to the problem.

 

[YmaOHyd]

My understanding is that messaging Laurel is the only real option, though I could be wrong.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

If you post a bit of dialogue from the story here (posting complete stories is not permitted) many Literotica authors will give you far more advice than you can possibly use.

-Annie

 

[jaF0]

Post a short snippet here, three or four paragraphs that include some of the dialog.

In short, each section would be one paragraph.

Mom said "I'll check on that today at work."

"OK, I'll be waiting to hear what you find out."

 

[Bamagan]

You're not likely to get a response from Laurel, who is generally reviewing a couple hundred stories per day and probably doesn't have the time (or the inclination) to provide editing feedback.
Aside from the suggestions above about posting some samples, you may want to do a search in your text for instances of [".] without the brackets. If she's using a filter to screen out people who put speech punctuation outside of quote marks for dialogue, you may have tripped it accidentally, since you did it in your post here.

I have a story that was rejected twice for "formatting of dialogue".

It's more conventional (in American English, anyway) to write 'formatting of dialogue'. Or, if it's an actual quotation, there'd usually be a comma in front of the quoted text. I don't know if the site screens British, Australian, or other forms of English differently, to account for regional variations, or if it just checks for consistency of style.
Another thing to look out for is to have only one speaker per paragraph. In my earliest submissions here I would sometimes include a second speaker's short responses to questions at the end of the first speaker's words, because I have an aversion to paragraphs that are basically just 'yes/no' and a dialogue tag. Either Laurel or her filter don't like that.

 

[getnakedgoswimming]

Post a short snippet here, three or four paragraphs that include some of the dialog.

In short, each section would be one paragraph.

Mom said "I'll check on that today at work."

"OK, I'll be waiting to hear what you find out."

Here's a bit of a longer snippet to show both the text message dialogue and regular dialogue.

The bit at the end omits the "<they> said", but I thought it was fairly clear given both characters are introducing them selves?

When she sat down in her seat on the plane realized that all she had to read at the moment was the romance/fantasy book she had been working her way through. The writing was surprisingly good, and the smut portions had kept her attention so far but at the moment she would have preferred John McPhee writing about rocks. While the rest of the plane boarded she texted Sam.

AMY: “I wish you were coming this weekend, you wouldn’t have to come to Quilt Con, you could just stay in the hotel room and be my sex boy for between sessions”

SAM: “Amy, you’re sharing a hotel room with Kate and Ana, aren’t you?”

AMY: “Okay, well then I’d get you a secret hotel room and you could be my secret sex boy who I sneak off to”

She was jostled by someone getting into the seat next to her. She looked up and was surprised to see the platinum blond from security. She texted Sam again.

AMY: “You left me so horny and the person sitting next to me is unfairly hot and all I have to read is erotica, and I don’t know how I’m going to get through this flight!”

SAM: “Jerk off in the bathroom?”

AMY: “Plane bathrooms aren’t sexy, who would do that”

SAM: “You clearly were not a teenage boy”

AMY: “Wait have you done that?”

SAM: “...no…of course, not…I would…never”

AMY: “I don’t know how to feel about this but actually I’m not surprised”

And then, hearing the announcement from the flight attendant.

AMY: “Oop, door closing, gotta go, I love you, I’ll just be here, horny as fuck on a stupid plane flying away from you”

SAM: “I love you too”

As the plane leveled out to cruising altitude Amy tried to focus on her book. The smoldering romance between the two English sorcerers was reaching its narrative and literal climax. She squirmed in her seat, sighed, put her phone away, tapped the unfairly hot seat mate, and went to go pee.

When she got back she saw that her seat mate was knitting. Maybe they were going to Quilt Con? As they both settled back in their seats, Amy asked, “What are you working on?”

Her seatmate smiled at her and said “It’s supposed to be a sweater, but I’m so terrible at knitting. I’ve frogged the entire thing three times already”.

Amy laughed and said, “Oh, don’t worry, that’s been the story with every single thing I’ve knit so far.” She gestured down at her sweater “This sweater took me six months and I started over at least four times”.

Her seatmate looked impressed. “You made that? I love it.”

“Thank you! Yeah, like I said, it took a long time. Is knitting your main thing?” asked Amy.

“God no, I’m a quilter.” they replied.

“Oh! So…you’re on your way to Quilt Con?”

“I am yeah, what about you?”

“Yeah! I’m Amy, by the way”.

“PJ”.

They held their hand out. Amy took it, their skin was soft. Amy looked into their smiling face. They had hazel eyes which held hers for just a moment too long. Amy remembered something a friend once told her “All flirting is just eye contact”. Her heart beat a little faster. The English sorcerers would have to wait to consummate their complicated love.

There are some other moments where I omitted the "said"s, but again I thought it clear from context? Maybe it's not. An example:

As the plane was taxiing Amy turned off airplane mode to let Sam know she had landed safely and was greeted by a barrage of texts. “Oh fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” asked PJ.

“My friends were supposed to meet me at the airport, but it sounds like they got delayed in New York, there’s a winter storm. Their flight isn’t until tomorrow now. They were supposed to drive me to the hotel. Fuck.” said Amy.

“Where are you staying?”

Amy named the hotel next to the convention center. PJ smiled and said, “I’m staying there, too! Don’t worry, I can bring you.”

“You sure?”

“It’s been so nice chatting, I’m happy to help you out”. There was that slightly too long eye contact again. Amy briefly felt the plane fall away and then she mentally shook herself and responded, “That would be so nice! Thank you!”.

 

[getnakedgoswimming]

You're not likely to get a response from Laurel, who is generally reviewing a couple hundred stories per day and probably doesn't have the time (or the inclination) to provide editing feedback.
Aside from the suggestions above about posting some samples, you may want to do a search in your text for instances of [".] without the brackets. If she's using a filter to screen out people who put speech punctuation outside of quote marks for dialogue, you may have tripped it accidentally, since you did it in your post here.

It's more conventional (in American English, anyway) to write 'formatting of dialogue'. Or, if it's an actual quotation, there'd usually be a comma in front of the quoted text. I don't know if the site screens British, Australian, or other forms of English differently, to account for regional variations, or if it just checks for consistency of style.
Another thing to look out for is to have only one speaker per paragraph. In my earliest submissions here I would sometimes include a second speaker's short responses to questions at the end of the first speaker's words, because I have an aversion to paragraphs that are basically just 'yes/no' and a dialogue tag. Either Laurel or her filter don't like that.

Very helpful, I will check for these things. Thank you!

Edit: reviewing the snippet I posted I already see some inconsistencies in regards to punctuation and quotes, so perhaps that was it.

 

[Bamagan]

Very helpful, I will check for these things. Thank you!

You're welcome. You do seem to have several instances of putting the period outside the quotation marks in the snippets you posted, which is a likely culprit.

 

[jaF0]

SAM: “Amy, you’re sharing a hotel room with Kate and Ana, aren’t you?”

AMY: “Okay, well then I’d get you a secret hotel room and you could be my secret sex boy who I sneak off to”

That's more of a script or play type layout, not really story dialogue.

 

[ronde]

I don't think it's Laurel generating this type of rejection. I think the software gets confused by the misuse of the punctuation in dialogue and generates the error. Laurel doesn't have time to read every line of dialogue in several hundred stories ever day. It looks to me like the software that formats a story into a Literotica page or pages looks for specific punctuation in dialogue in order to get the story to read correctly. I've been guilty of violating some of the "rules" for dialogue punctuation.

Tags need a comma before the dialogue, i.e., your second sentence, Mom said "I'll check on that today at work.", should read, Mom said, "I'll check on that today at work."
Tags after the dialogue do not, i.e. it should be "I'll check on that at work." said Mom.
Another common error is not putting the punctuation of the dialogue inside the quote. In other words, (" I...to her".) is not correct. It should be ( "I...to her.")
The ellipsis does not need any more punctuation such as a period, comma, question mark or exclamation point. The ellipsis is used to denote a trailing thought or speech, so it only needs a closing quotation mark

 

[StillStunned]

Here's a bit of a longer snippet to show both the text message dialogue and regular dialogue.

I think your text message dialogue ran afoul of the system. I'd resubmit it, with a note explaining that certain sections of dialogue represent text messaging.

 

[onehitwanda]

“Yeah! I’m Amy, by the way”.

full stop (period) outside the quotation marks.

“God no, I’m a quilter.” they replied.

double full stop.

AMY: “I don’t know how to feel about this but actually I’m not surprised”

no full stop whatsoever.

As the saying goes, if you're going to be wrong, at least be consistent about it.

You could do a lot worse than spending some time studying something like the Oxford Style Guide - it will help you at least avoid the most common traps.

 

[AwkwardMD]

That's more of a script or play type layout, not really story dialogue.

Those are text messages

 

[getnakedgoswimming]

That's more of a script or play type layout, not really story dialogue.

I wanted to delineate between regular speech and the messages. They are happening in different spaces, and are different types of dialogue so it felt wrong to style them as "speech".

I don't think it's Laurel generating this type of rejection. I think the software gets confused by the misuse of the punctuation in dialogue and generates the error. Laurel doesn't have time to read every line of dialogue in several hundred stories ever day. It looks to me like the software that formats a story into a Literotica page or pages looks for specific punctuation in dialogue in order to get the story to read correctly. I've been guilty of violating some of the "rules" for dialogue punctuation.

Tags need a comma before the dialogue, i.e., your second sentence, Mom said "I'll check on that today at work.", should read, Mom said, "I'll check on that today at work."
Tags after the dialogue do not, i.e. it should be "I'll check on that at work." said Mom.
Another common error is not putting the punctuation of the dialogue inside the quote. In other words, (" I...to her".) is not correct. It should be ( "I...to her.")
The ellipsis does not need any more punctuation such as a period, comma, question mark or exclamation point. The ellipsis is used to denote a trailing thought or speech, so it only needs a closing quotation mark

Thank you so much for this. I'll go back through and edit with this in mind.

 

[getnakedgoswimming]

As the saying goes, if you're going to be wrong, at least be consistent about it.

lol makes sense! Thank you for the Oxford Style Guide link, I'll review it.

 

[YmaOHyd]

I haven't published many things here, but my text exchanges are formatted in italics with occasional use of 'texted' or 'sent' as verbs to show who the speaker is.

I was leaving the lab and heading to the townhouse for lunch when Kat texted.

Hey, with a heart emoji in purple.

Hey, I sent back. All clear?

Yep. You got a minute to come by the room? Then: eggplant emoji, lips emoji, winking emoji. Oh. Oh-oh.

Yes. Yes I do, I replied.

So far I haven't gotten a rejection, though that doesn't mean much. It may be better for you than using quotation marks for your text messages, which would look like spoken dialogue to an automated checking system.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

It's more conventional (in American English, anyway) to write 'formatting of dialogue'.

In American English as I was taught and what I see when I read, you'd use the double-quote, "formatting of dialogue." In the last decade or two, it has become conventional to put the period outside the quotes if what you're quoting doesn't end a sentence.

-Annie

 

[yowser]

It's more conventional (in American English, anyway) to write 'formatting of dialogue'. Or, if it's an actual quotation, there'd usually be a comma in front of the quoted text. I don't know if the site screens British, Australian, or other forms of English differently, to account for regional variations, or if it just checks for consistency of style.

Obviously we have international contributors and plenty write non-standard American English and are published. Depending on the story I've done both UK and American with no issues. I think you are spot-on with 'consistency.'

 

[FrenchLopBunny]

Early on I found this How To. https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-make-characters-talk

 

[getnakedgoswimming]

Early on I found this How To. https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-make-characters-talk

I read that after the first rejection and thought I had understood it, but I missed the more precise punctuation specifics. I'll take a look again, thanks for the suggestion.

 

[getnakedgoswimming]

full stop (period) outside the quotation marks.


double full stop.


no full stop whatsoever.

As the saying goes, if you're going to be wrong, at least be consistent about it.

You could do a lot worse than spending some time studying something like the Oxford Style Guide - it will help you at least avoid the most common traps.

Here's another question. When writing a text message conversation is it required to add punctuation? It feels kind of unrealistic. Do people always use a period when texting? For example, from the snippet I posted:

AMY: “I wish you were coming this weekend, you wouldn’t have to come to Quilt Con, you could just stay in the hotel room and be my sex boy for between sessions”

SAM: “Amy, you’re sharing a hotel room with Kate and Ana, aren’t you?”

AMY: “Okay, well then I’d get you a secret hotel room and you could be my secret sex boy who I sneak off to”

I find myself rarely ending text messages with a period (though as we've seen, I clearly have punctuation issues). Obviously I'll use question marks and exclamation points when required, and periods within messages if it's multiple sentences, but I find I rarely end a text with a period.

Again though, I'm obviously punctuation challenged.

 

[YmaOHyd]

Here's another question. When writing a text message conversation is it required to add punctuation? It feels kind of unrealistic. Do people always use a period when texting?

I'm not an authority, but here's a text exchange from a story I had published last week:

My phone buzzed.

hey. on ur way?

Just parked.

it busy?

Getting that way, I replied. Sorry, know I’m early

nbd. be there soon. sry. get us a table outside??

Sure. Take your time. No rush. I didn’t want to be late.

lol. ur fine. see you soon

So on one hand, most of the sentences end with punctuation; it's on the last one that doesn't. On the other hand, one of the people in the conversation uses basically correct grammar and punctuation, and the other one doesn't -- sentences start with lowercase letters, abbreviations are common, and she ends one sentence without punctuation and another with a double question mark. I'm trying to keep Dafydd's texting voice basically-correct and Emily's slangier and more informal so the audience can more easily keep track of who's speaking (plus, it's a little touch of personality for of them).

So again, not an authority, but I don't think following consistent rules of punctuation within the texts is necessarily required, as long as it's clear that they're written communications, and using quotation marks maybe muddles that up, at least for a program that's checking for anomalous stuff around endquotes. So if it were me, I'd maybe write it as:

Amy: I wish you were coming this weekend, you wouldn’t have to come to Quilt Con, you could just stay in the hotel room and be my sex boy for between sessions

Sam: Amy, you’re sharing a hotel room with Kate and Ana, aren’t you?

Amy: Okay, well then I’d get you a secret hotel room and you could be my secret sex boy who I sneak off to

If not going all the way to:

I wish you were coming, Amy texted. you wouldn't have to come...

You're sharing a hotel room..., replied Sam.

Okay, well then,...

In his ongoing series The OF Girl, BreakTheBar has characters texting each other regularly. He uses this style:

You: Do you want to stop, or cool it off?

Gemma: No.

You: Does answering that help?

The dots started, then disappeared for a long time, then came back.

Gemma: Yes. How are you a genius when Sabrina and I are so much smarter than you?

You: What can I say? It's a gift.

Unfortunately, that doesn't shed much light on how required proper punctuation in in-universe written communication is, except to say that it probably helps.

 

[PennyThompson]

For text message conversations specifically, there's a LOT of different opinions on how to format them.

The method I use involves some HTML fiddling, I really like how it looks, some people really don't

Also, you can use emojis in a Lit story if you really want to up the text message verisimilitude!

 

[getnakedgoswimming]

For text message conversations specifically, there's a LOT of different opinions on how to format them.

The method I use involves some HTML fiddling, I really like how it looks, some people really don't

Also, you can use emojis in a Lit story if you really want to up the text message verisimilitude!

Oh that's neat! I'll have to try it out.

 

[PennyThompson]

Oh that's neat! I'll have to try it out.

Just be reeealy careful with the HTML if you try to go that route, and triple-check the story preview before submitting.

Doing a tag wrong can cause a lot of problems, and story edits often take around a month to be processed! Speaking from embarrassing experience, here