story rejection

[DCO_65]

The system has built favoritism to those who are white. It is less than in yesteryear but still exists. Don’t worry, I don’t want to burn anything down. It can be fixed in local communities without the aid of the freaking federal government.

As someone who has lived in many parts of the world. I can say with certainty that all political systems are set up to favor those with power. Power affords influence. In a capitalist or mercantile system money is the base measure of power. In the United States nearly all of those with political power at the inception of the nation were of European (white) origin, so in the US race can, and has long been a proxy for influence.

(Saying that the vast majority of those with influence are white-- a true statement-- is a far different thing than saying that all persons who are white have influence-- which is not.)

There have been non-whites with influence. One of the true tragedies of desegregation was the destruction of the black business owning and professional classes in many US cities. Under “apartheid-lite” communities like 'The Ville' in Saint Louis had a complete social and economic network. Government imposed restrictions and the economies of scale made the black business and professional classes less efficient. But government restrictions also mandated their use by the minority community.

Once the restrictions were removed and the minority community was able to make choices the black professional and business class saw their customer base disappear. Located in the historically black part of town they faced the triple disadvantages of being difficult to access by outsiders, unfamiliar to the general public, and being smaller less economical than the business and professional community at large.

Some individuals left the historic neighborhoods and set up shop in the 'burbs. But it was a minority of a minority. Those suburbs were built with federal loan guarantees and tax breaks afforded to those with influence. Asking the government to solve the problem that government policy-- under FDR as part of stimulus to end the Great Depression-- created is asking the fox to police the hen house after several chickens went missing.

And with the closing of historically black businesses, schools and hospitals like Homer G Phillips, what was once a vibrant-- albeit legally constrained-- minority community became an economic ghetto (named for Ghetto Nuevo where the government of Venice locked the Jewish population of the city in at sundown each night).

IMHO people of good will and open minds are the solution. Government is of, and it protects, the powerful.

 

[gunhilltrain]

It sounds like you think kinks aren't real.

I met her in a bar where she was looking for attention. The local who told me about her put it like "It's easy enough to get her to your room, but then you have to fight her to get her in bed."

She was a hot-looking cowgirl--not dainty at all. Fighting her into bed would have been no easy feat.

I'm sure that the kink is real. Maybe the struggle was the part if it she enjoyed the most.

It's analogous perhaps to people who like to be spanked, sometimes quite hard. If that's not your kink, then it probably seems incomprehensible.

 

[gunhilltrain]

As someone who has lived in many parts of the world. I can say with certainty that all political systems are set up to favor those with power. Power affords influence. In a capitalist or mercantile system money is the base measure of power. In the United States nearly all of those with political power at the inception of the nation were of European (white) origin, so in the US race can, and has long been a proxy for influence.

(Saying that the vast majority of those with influence are white-- a true statement-- is a far different thing than saying that all persons who are white have influence-- which is not.)

There have been non-whites with influence. One of the true tragedies of desegregation was the destruction of the black business owning and professional classes in many US cities. Under “apartheid-lite” communities like 'The Ville' in Saint Louis had a complete social and economic network. Government imposed restrictions and the economies of scale made the black business and professional classes less efficient. But government restrictions also mandated their use by the minority community.

Once the restrictions were removed and the minority community was able to make choices the black professional and business class saw their customer base disappear. Located in the historically black part of town they faced the triple disadvantages of being difficult to access by outsiders, unfamiliar to the general public, and being smaller less economical than the business and professional community at large.

Some individuals left the historic neighborhoods and set up shop in the 'burbs. But it was a minority of a minority. Those suburbs were built with federal loan guarantees and tax breaks afforded to those with influence. Asking the government to solve the problem that government policy-- under FDR as part of stimulus to end the Great Depression-- created is asking the fox to police the hen house after several chickens went missing.

And with the closing of historically black businesses, schools and hospitals like Homer G Phillips, what was once a vibrant-- albeit legally constrained-- minority community became an economic ghetto (named for Ghetto Nuevo where the government of Venice locked the Jewish population of the city in at sundown each night).

IMHO people of good will and open minds are the solution. Government is of, and it protects, the powerful.

There is some thread drift here. The end of the Black business districts is indeed a fascinating topic. At this point I don't know what can be done about it.

My impression is that throughout history, people of good will and open minds are a minority. They are overwhelmed by the more powerful forces arrayed against them. The majority are not people of "bad will;" they are more or less indifferent and go along with whatever is most convenient.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Careful folks - this thread is drifting towards the Political Board. Let's keep AH topics on writing, and leave politics aside.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

Lately there seems to be a rule mandating safewords be used if a story is to be in the BDSM category. I'm not opposed per-se, but I do find the mandate to be oppressive. I have been playing with the same group of people since 1980-1983. We know each other and we pay attention to each other. And I think that a story written about playmates who show that level of caring and devotion in any setting-- not just D&S play-- is hot. I know it is in RL.

Interesting. I have a pretty well-liked story in BDSM in which neither participant has a safeword, although the concept is mentioned in passing near the end of the story. They do, indeed, make a point of paying very close attention to each other and to themselves.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I think it's more tongue-in-cheek. The C word really bugs the shit out of me. The word I find more foul than the N word. I use both in my writing, but man they really burn my fingers when I type them.

Maybe it's all right if women say they have a C word. If they say they are one, that's a different story. If a man or woman calls her that, it's definitely an insult. So this woman is denigrating herself, but I wonder if she is really joking or not.

The analogy is that calling a man a "dick" is an insult. No man would use that term to describe himself.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Maybe it's all right if women say they have a C word. If they say they are one, that's a different story. If a man or woman calls her that, it's definitely an insult. So this woman is denigrating herself, but I wonder if she is really joking or not.

The analogy is that calling a man a "dick" is an insult. No man would use that term to describe himself.

I don't use the word personally at all. Not as a body part or to call out another woman. It's just too, too, much.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Interesting. I have a pretty well-liked story in BDSM in which neither participant has a safeword, although the concept is mentioned in passing near the end of the story. They do, indeed, make a point of paying very close attention to each other and to themselves.

I don't have much experience with this, but a safe word clarifies things. Some people may like making a fuss during a session, but the word (or phrase) marks the difference between playacting and real distress.

One of my favorite safe phrases I made up in a story is "Dinty Moore."

 

[gunhilltrain]

I don't use the word personally at all. Not as a body part or to call out another woman. It's just too, too, much.

Well, I've been out of the loop for quite a while. My ex-wife used it to describe her body part.

 

[fannyrat]

I had another story well underway and after having this story deleted after many many views, good reviews and a rating of 4.62 I have decided I am not going to keep fighting to get my stories passed this mod. I hhave had stories rejected due to punctuation only to read a story later written by someone to whom it would be generous to describe a barely literate.

Time to move on.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

I don't have much experience with this, but a safe word clarifies things. Some people may like making a fuss during a session, but the word (or phrase) marks the difference between playacting and real distress.

One of my favorite safe phrases I made up in a story is "Dinty Moore."

Lol. I know. I was quite active in BDSM, across a couple major cities, as a sub and Dom for 7 years. I even flew across the country to take a week long class in how to Dom.

In all that time I never needed a safe word. Neither me, nor any one I played with, was fond of ignoring regular old communication and body language. Which some people do like, so more power to them if that's what gets them off.

In my opinion, one should not rely on a safe word until one is quite experienced with their partner. It's a much riskier way to play. But it's been portrayed as safer, idk why. I mean, people live all their lives learning to communicate and judge other people's moods, it's a lot easier to do what's natural in a highly intense situation than to remember a funny word. That takes practice.

It certainly did not ruin the scene when I started crying and the Dom asked me if I wanted to continue. Yes I did, and I felt loved and cared for as I enjoyed the catharsis of pain. That may be my favorite scene ever. Imagine if my Dom had just waited to hear a word and never checked in otherwise. That's kind of scary to me.

It's been a decade since I was active, so God knows what people are doing these days, but I hope they aren't relying on safe words as novices.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Lol. I know. I was quite active in BDSM, across a couple major cities, as a sub and Dom for 7 years. I even flew across the country to take a week long class in how to Dom.

In all that time I never needed a safe word. Neither me, nor any one I played with, was fond of ignoring regular old communication and body language. Which some people do like, so more power to them if that's what gets them off.

In my opinion, one should not rely on a safe word until one is quite experienced with their partner. It's a much riskier way to play. But it's been portrayed as safer, idk why. I mean, people live all their lives learning to communicate and judge other people's moods, it's a lot easier to do what's natural in a highly intense situation than to remember a funny word. That takes practice.

It certainly did not ruin the scene when I started crying and the Dom asked me if I wanted to continue. Yes I did, and I felt loved and cared for as I enjoyed the catharsis of pain. That may be my favorite scene ever. Imagine if my Dom had just waited to hear a word and never checked in otherwise. That's kind of scary to me.

It's been a decade since I was active, so God knows what people are doing these days, but I hope they aren't relying on safe words as novices.

You obviously know more about it than I do. I'm surprised about what you said about safe words, but I'll take your word on it.

Usually in my stories, the dominant person will remind the other of what the safe word is. And it's usually about two people in a couple, not part of a broader, more formal, scene. It seems unlikely that someone would just say "Dinty Moore" or "tuna salad" out of context. I remember now in one story that someone says, " 'I forgot the safe word' is sort of the universal safe word."

I can see how in a larger scene the issue might be more murky.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

You obviously know more about it than I do. I'm surprised about what you said about safe words, but I'll take your word on it.

Usually in my stories, the dominant person will remind the other of what the safe word is. And it's usually about two people in a couple, not part of a broader, more formal, scene. It seems unlikely that someone would just say "Dinty Moore" or "tuna salad" out of context. I remember now in one story that someone says, " 'I forgot the safe word' is sort of the universal safe word."

I can see how in a larger scene the issue might be more murky.

Have you ever really hurt yourself? Remember that pain? How rational were you in that moment? How capable of reasoned communication? The only time I ever asked for a scene adjustment was during the setup, and even that surprised the dons I was with because I never asked for anything. After that, it honestly never occurred to me to ask to stop. I was just enduring. It wasn't about arousal or submission for me, it was about masochism. There is no limit to my masochism. There is only the limit my rational mind applies before any pain is applied.

If a Dom has never subbed they may not understand that frame of mind. Even if they have, they may not have the same feeling. It's dangerous to assume that just because a sub can talk that they will. Many subs feel shame about using their safe word. The Dom can't depend on it being used appropriately, and especially shouldn't with a new partner. If anyone I was Domming looked suspiciously unhappy or disengaged, I stopped to check in. The better I knew them, the more I could push their limits.

 

[NotWise]

I had another story well underway and after having this story deleted after many many views, good reviews and a rating of 4.62 I have decided I am not going to keep fighting to get my stories passed this mod. I hhave had stories rejected due to punctuation only to read a story later written by someone to whom it would be generous to describe a barely literate.

Time to move on.

Good luck to you. I hope you enjoy your new surroundings.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Well, I've been out of the loop for quite a while. My ex-wife used it to describe her body part.

I know a lot of women who use it. I'm just saying for the vast majority who do use it, they use at a person not about a body part.

I have had characters call other characters by the C word. But that is fiction. I don't say the word.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Have you ever really hurt yourself? Remember that pain? How rational were you in that moment? How capable of reasoned communication? The only time I ever asked for a scene adjustment was during the setup, and even that surprised the dons I was with because I never asked for anything. After that, it honestly never occurred to me to ask to stop. I was just enduring. It wasn't about arousal or submission for me, it was about masochism. There is no limit to my masochism. There is only the limit my rational mind applies before any pain is applied.

If a Dom has never subbed they may not understand that frame of mind. Even if they have, they may not have the same feeling. It's dangerous to assume that just because a sub can talk that they will. Many subs feel shame about using their safe word. The Dom can't depend on it being used appropriately, and especially shouldn't with a new partner. If anyone I was Domming looked suspiciously unhappy or disengaged, I stopped to check in. The better I knew them, the more I could push their limits.

This. Checking in frequently with the bottom is vital, to know whether they are even capable of speech. One might say if they are still capable of talking, you aren't having much effect on them! Taking a break to ask "is there something you want to say? Anything?" is vital, backing it up with coaxing a response out of them, verbal or by agreed hand signals.

Too many abusers out there who would claim they'd just had a miscommunication because their latest young vulnerable thing didn't use their safeword - once, maybe. Letting that happen more than once? That's not consensual BDSM, that's assault and abuse, mate. If someone's in the depths of subspace, or just panting too hard to speak, they aren't going to say anything, let alone a complex word that's hard to enunciate. Add the dismissive-if-not-outright abusive tops who shame people for safewording or asking for limits to be respected, and it's rare for a bottom to ever say much of anything.

Which is why I much prefer systems where constant feedback is requested, eg red-amber-green or a number from 1 to 10, if playing with a new person, and the top takes any words like 'no' or 'stop' at face value unless explicitly negotiated otherwise. I tend to call 'safeword' on general principle the first time - because a top's reaction tells you so much that you can't find out any other way. I count myself very lucky that the worst scene I've ever been in was when I ended up going 'Aw, you stopped! So soon!' and being told 'Well, you did say stop...'

Because if you've been restrained, it doesn't matter what's been negotiated; if the top wants to do something else to you, you're fucked. Probably literally.

 

[jaF0]

I had another story well underway and after having this story deleted after many many views, good reviews and a rating of 4.62 I have decided I am not going to keep fighting to get my stories passed this mod. I hhave had stories rejected due to punctuation only to read a story later written by someone to whom it would be generous to describe a barely literate.

Time to move on.

I'm not sure that's the best way to look at it, but your choice.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

One might say if they are still capable of talking, you aren't having much effect on them!

Haha, yes!

Too many abusers out there who would claim they'd just had a miscommunication because their latest young vulnerable thing didn't use their safeword - once, maybe. Letting that happen more than once? That's not consensual BDSM, that's assault and abuse, mate.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

I tend to call 'safeword' on general principle the first time - because a top's reaction tells you so much that you can't find out any other way.

That's a damn good idea. I started in BDSM one week after I turned 18 and had no idea what I was getting into. I'd read BDSM-ish stories on Lit and knew that I wanted some of that. There was a local goth club which had a small BDSM stage and I just went up and said, "hurt me!" Lol. If the internet had been a bit further along at the time, I probably would have found some questionable person on a kink site and not started at a club, and I think that would have gone much worse for me.

I learned a lot in 7 years (I was doing scenes nearly weekly for about six years, worked in a BDSM store, took classes, etc.), but even at 25 when I met my husband and bowed out, I was still very young - not that I thought so then. Side note: It may be hot to fantasize about a young dom, but I can tell you from experience, that I was not nearly as good as those in their 40's and up.

Because if you've been restrained, it doesn't matter what's been negotiated; if the top wants to do something else to you, you're fucked. Probably literally.

100% true and sadly I've known people who've lived it.

 

[Bramblethorn]

This. Checking in frequently with the bottom is vital, to know whether they are even capable of speech. One might say if they are still capable of talking, you aren't having much effect on them! Taking a break to ask "is there something you want to say? Anything?" is vital, backing it up with coaxing a response out of them, verbal or by agreed hand signals.

All this. Having some kind of way to communicate ongoing consent/well-being in BDSM is vital. Safewords are one tool for that, not the only tool and not always the best. I'm fond of that explicit check-in, and I've used it in vanilla sex too with new partners.

I've been with my partner for decades. We had a safeword when we were newly together, but I no longer remember what it was; we're in tune enough with one another that I have better ways of knowing how she's doing. If I was doing BDSM with somebody new, I'd consider it.