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Super long post but I hope it may be helpful to any straight guys confused at being a straight cock sucker and how to deal with it.
When young I was always curious how I measured up in the dick department. I became more cock curious wondering if I would be big enough to satisfy women. Always wondered how I measured up against others.
Girl crazy but my first sexual experience with an orgasm happened with my best friend.
The wondering how I measured up and being a super horny virgin led to mutual oral of couple times.
He turned out to be quite a bit bigger than me, and from that I developed a bit of penis envy
and cock curiosity.
Soon after I began dating and had a lot of success with women and never thought of it again.
It was always fascinated in porn seeing bigger cocks then mine and how women took them.
At that time in the earlier days of porn the biggest dicks out there were usually attached to a black man so interracial porn was my fave.
Over time I became curious to try sucking another dick again.
I still only wanted to be with women but the idea of trying it again became a deep desire.
It was a very confusing time as I also wanted a normal relationship with a woman. Only ever attracted to women and didn't ever look at guys or fantasize about anyone real, but the idea of a specific big Dick and being able to play with it was an overwhelming desire.
I even met a few guys on chat sites but would never go through with it once meeting in person.
Finally 1 day I met a very muscular Adonis of a black man with a very hot big dick and I sucked dick again in my late 20's. After that experience I realized that black dick was much more enticing and desirable to play with for a few reasons.
I was dating a girl at the time and felt quite guilty about it and so told her.
I expected our relationship to end but then she told me she had a curiosity to see 2 guys together.
I ended up sucking black dick a few times in front of her.
We broke up for other reasons.
Although fun experiences it was a confusing time as I wondered am I gay, am I Bi but the resounding desire was always to be with women first and foremost, but this itch about sucking a big black dick became a craving if I didn't scratch it once in a while in fantasy at least.
More than a few times I tried to stop and just have a normal relationship and it would always creep back in.
I would usually do it between relationships as I would not want to cheat on someone and also it was hard to be honest and expect them still to wanna be with me.
Over the years I probably met with 10 or 12 guys, Always black guys and hopefully with much bigger dicks than mine.
I always hoped to find a regular guy to hang out with once in a while and do the dirty deed, but Then also have a normal relationship with a woman otherwise who knew and was supportive.
I then met a very open-minded woman and was in an open relationship and could do it as I pleased but I could also pursue other women , which I did most times.
The few times I did find a guy to hang out with it was never that comfortable and was always a one time thing.
I began to realize the fantasy was often more exciting then the real act. The idea of sucking Dick was hotter than doing it most times. Intense desire and Excitement of mixed emotions planning to do the act created more excitement and build up than the enjoyment of the act itself.
I also had a hard time being truly open even with the open-minded girlfriend as I thought she might be a bit put Off to see that side of me more closely. She would often ask me to share about the experiences I had, but I would often be too embarrassed to even say much about it.
I thought it Would change how she saw me, as a virile guy that loved to fuck her, if she knew details of how liked to suck big black dicks once in awhile too.
After that relationship ended I actually decided I wanted to pursue it more and see how far I could take it. It's obviously never going away and maybe I was more Bi and perhaps I was denying myself of something.
I did pursue finding a regular guy to suck but even then had little luck and the experiences I did try weren't very fulfilling. Most guys would usually want more than just getting their dick sucked and there's no way I was comfortable with more.
Plus 90%+ of the time I was craving women and wanting a GF.
Definitely no way I've ever had any desire to be fucked by a guy, or fuck a guy.
Around that time I came across some research on fetishism and It helped me gain a better understanding and comfort with my desires.
I'll share this quote from something I read recently on this topic.
By Dawn Michael — Written on Dec 22, 2016:
"This idea of a straight man having a fetish for another man's penis is taboo and misunderstood.
Your average person may think if a man desires another guy's dick he must be gay.
However, that's not the case with a penis fetish: that of a straight man desiring another man's penis. As a clinical sexologist, I counsel clients from around the world. Part of each of my sessions is devoted to gathering a client's personal sex history.
The importance of a client's sex history is two-fold: One, it helps me understand them better so as to help them. Two, I gain information on similarities in particular clients' sexual histories. This can pertain to sexual patterns, desires and in some cases, kinks and fetishes.
Compiling sex histories over the years has given me some insight as to why and how sexual fetishes develop.
The sex histories of men that I counsel as well as men I interviewed for other studies presented similarities in how said fetishes developed. Most fetishes developed around the age of puberty when an encounter, object, or incident happened that created arousal.
In most men, the arousal coupled with the onset of puberty created the fetish — and just as a man may have a foot fetish, he can also have a penis fetish.
As described in an article featured on WebMD, Richard Krueger, MD, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University said that "people can 'fetishize' almost anything. There are many websites about lots of fetish interests...anything you could imagine. According to a study, the most common fetishes involve body parts, such as feet, or body features, such as obesity, piercings, or tattoos."
Having a fetish for a penis does not mean that the person must be attracted to the same gender.
In the area of cuckolding, which I define as "a marriage where the husband derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife have sex with a man who has a larger penis," a man can safely play out his penis fetish because it also involves his wife. Thus, the penis fetish becomes acceptable in terms of, she is the one asking him to get the other guy hard by sucking on his dick or giving him a hand job.
Of course, some people will jump to the conclusion that the man in this scenarios is bisexual and in some cases this may be true but in other instances, it may not and he just has a penis fetish.
A bisexual man would be attracted to the man, not just his penis. A man who is heterosexual or sees himself as straight is not attracted to the man and only desires to suck or fondle the other man's penis.
As confusing as this may sound to you, remember: it's just as confusing to the men who have a penis fetish.
Some men have engaged in sexual encounters with other men because they are confused, only to realize that they're not attracted to men — they're attracted to women but also want a woman to force them to interact with another man's penis, i.e. cuckolding.
Some men may find this whole topic to be ridiculous and unsettling but the reality is that straight men who have a penis fetish beat themselves up over it, feel tremendous shame, and are terribly confused."
That information was tremendously helpful as I always felt some guilt, and lots of shame and comfusion.
When I started dating my now wife, through some openness and some chance, I ended up being completely open to her about everything to do with my past and my desires.
I was willing to put any kind of cock sucking action on hold as long as she was willing to let me be honest and try to work through things with her.
Through dating and sharing i learned she was someone that had dated some extremely well hung black guys in the past.
Realizing that kind of ignited another side of me and the idea of seeing her with one of those guys became a big turn on.
Over the last few years it's now become a fun twist on my fetish, And it has helped redirect my cock sucking fetish towards seeing her with a big black cock instead of me sucking it, and plus I can be open and share it with her.
I feel very blessed that now it doesn't have to be in the shadows and I have a partner I can work through things with, and share our own version of my fetish with. It's actually revitalized our sex life a bit and Now instead of just fantasizing about doing something with a guy it's about doing something with my wife and a guy.
So finally it feels I do have the relationship I want it and I'm able to deal with this cock fetish in a honest way that feels pretty fulfilling right now.
When young I was always curious how I measured up in the dick department. I became more cock curious wondering if I would be big enough to satisfy women. Always wondered how I measured up against others.
Girl crazy but my first sexual experience with an orgasm happened with my best friend.
The wondering how I measured up and being a super horny virgin led to mutual oral of couple times.
He turned out to be quite a bit bigger than me, and from that I developed a bit of penis envy
and cock curiosity.
Soon after I began dating and had a lot of success with women and never thought of it again.
It was always fascinated in porn seeing bigger cocks then mine and how women took them.
At that time in the earlier days of porn the biggest dicks out there were usually attached to a black man so interracial porn was my fave.
Over time I became curious to try sucking another dick again.
I still only wanted to be with women but the idea of trying it again became a deep desire.
It was a very confusing time as I also wanted a normal relationship with a woman. Only ever attracted to women and didn't ever look at guys or fantasize about anyone real, but the idea of a specific big Dick and being able to play with it was an overwhelming desire.
I even met a few guys on chat sites but would never go through with it once meeting in person.
Finally 1 day I met a very muscular Adonis of a black man with a very hot big dick and I sucked dick again in my late 20's. After that experience I realized that black dick was much more enticing and desirable to play with for a few reasons.
I was dating a girl at the time and felt quite guilty about it and so told her.
I expected our relationship to end but then she told me she had a curiosity to see 2 guys together.
I ended up sucking black dick a few times in front of her.
We broke up for other reasons.
Although fun experiences it was a confusing time as I wondered am I gay, am I Bi but the resounding desire was always to be with women first and foremost, but this itch about sucking a big black dick became a craving if I didn't scratch it once in a while in fantasy at least.
More than a few times I tried to stop and just have a normal relationship and it would always creep back in.
I would usually do it between relationships as I would not want to cheat on someone and also it was hard to be honest and expect them still to wanna be with me.
Over the years I probably met with 10 or 12 guys, Always black guys and hopefully with much bigger dicks than mine.
I always hoped to find a regular guy to hang out with once in a while and do the dirty deed, but Then also have a normal relationship with a woman otherwise who knew and was supportive.
I then met a very open-minded woman and was in an open relationship and could do it as I pleased but I could also pursue other women , which I did most times.
The few times I did find a guy to hang out with it was never that comfortable and was always a one time thing.
I began to realize the fantasy was often more exciting then the real act. The idea of sucking Dick was hotter than doing it most times. Intense desire and Excitement of mixed emotions planning to do the act created more excitement and build up than the enjoyment of the act itself.
I also had a hard time being truly open even with the open-minded girlfriend as I thought she might be a bit put Off to see that side of me more closely. She would often ask me to share about the experiences I had, but I would often be too embarrassed to even say much about it.
I thought it Would change how she saw me, as a virile guy that loved to fuck her, if she knew details of how liked to suck big black dicks once in awhile too.
After that relationship ended I actually decided I wanted to pursue it more and see how far I could take it. It's obviously never going away and maybe I was more Bi and perhaps I was denying myself of something.
I did pursue finding a regular guy to suck but even then had little luck and the experiences I did try weren't very fulfilling. Most guys would usually want more than just getting their dick sucked and there's no way I was comfortable with more.
Plus 90%+ of the time I was craving women and wanting a GF.
Definitely no way I've ever had any desire to be fucked by a guy, or fuck a guy.
Around that time I came across some research on fetishism and It helped me gain a better understanding and comfort with my desires.
I'll share this quote from something I read recently on this topic.
By Dawn Michael — Written on Dec 22, 2016:
"This idea of a straight man having a fetish for another man's penis is taboo and misunderstood.
Your average person may think if a man desires another guy's dick he must be gay.
However, that's not the case with a penis fetish: that of a straight man desiring another man's penis. As a clinical sexologist, I counsel clients from around the world. Part of each of my sessions is devoted to gathering a client's personal sex history.
The importance of a client's sex history is two-fold: One, it helps me understand them better so as to help them. Two, I gain information on similarities in particular clients' sexual histories. This can pertain to sexual patterns, desires and in some cases, kinks and fetishes.
Compiling sex histories over the years has given me some insight as to why and how sexual fetishes develop.
The sex histories of men that I counsel as well as men I interviewed for other studies presented similarities in how said fetishes developed. Most fetishes developed around the age of puberty when an encounter, object, or incident happened that created arousal.
In most men, the arousal coupled with the onset of puberty created the fetish — and just as a man may have a foot fetish, he can also have a penis fetish.
As described in an article featured on WebMD, Richard Krueger, MD, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University said that "people can 'fetishize' almost anything. There are many websites about lots of fetish interests...anything you could imagine. According to a study, the most common fetishes involve body parts, such as feet, or body features, such as obesity, piercings, or tattoos."
Having a fetish for a penis does not mean that the person must be attracted to the same gender.
In the area of cuckolding, which I define as "a marriage where the husband derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife have sex with a man who has a larger penis," a man can safely play out his penis fetish because it also involves his wife. Thus, the penis fetish becomes acceptable in terms of, she is the one asking him to get the other guy hard by sucking on his dick or giving him a hand job.
Of course, some people will jump to the conclusion that the man in this scenarios is bisexual and in some cases this may be true but in other instances, it may not and he just has a penis fetish.
A bisexual man would be attracted to the man, not just his penis. A man who is heterosexual or sees himself as straight is not attracted to the man and only desires to suck or fondle the other man's penis.
As confusing as this may sound to you, remember: it's just as confusing to the men who have a penis fetish.
Some men have engaged in sexual encounters with other men because they are confused, only to realize that they're not attracted to men — they're attracted to women but also want a woman to force them to interact with another man's penis, i.e. cuckolding.
Some men may find this whole topic to be ridiculous and unsettling but the reality is that straight men who have a penis fetish beat themselves up over it, feel tremendous shame, and are terribly confused."
That information was tremendously helpful as I always felt some guilt, and lots of shame and comfusion.
When I started dating my now wife, through some openness and some chance, I ended up being completely open to her about everything to do with my past and my desires.
I was willing to put any kind of cock sucking action on hold as long as she was willing to let me be honest and try to work through things with her.
Through dating and sharing i learned she was someone that had dated some extremely well hung black guys in the past.
Realizing that kind of ignited another side of me and the idea of seeing her with one of those guys became a big turn on.
Over the last few years it's now become a fun twist on my fetish, And it has helped redirect my cock sucking fetish towards seeing her with a big black cock instead of me sucking it, and plus I can be open and share it with her.
I feel very blessed that now it doesn't have to be in the shadows and I have a partner I can work through things with, and share our own version of my fetish with. It's actually revitalized our sex life a bit and Now instead of just fantasizing about doing something with a guy it's about doing something with my wife and a guy.
So finally it feels I do have the relationship I want it and I'm able to deal with this cock fetish in a honest way that feels pretty fulfilling right now.
