Strip clubs

[phoenix1105]

Ever since I left my fiance, I really want a relationship. I want to have something sexual besides the net. One of the problems is that I lost a lot of my confidence. I think being with another women, even for a few hours might help me in that department. I dont know if I am over my ex-fiance. Is it is cool if I go alone? Honestly I want someone to find me intresting, even if their intrest is the cash and credit...

Any suggestion?

 

[PertPerth]

Personally I can't see any issue with going alone to a strip club. If you feel a little uncomfortable about it - why not ask a friend to go with you?
Other than women at strip clubs - have you thought about things like speed dating?

 

[silverwhisper]

um...with all due respect, i disagree with pertperth, for one reason: you still know that the only reason you're getting attention is due to your wallet.

my concern is that you might temporarily get some of the feeling you want, but will lose it, and more, afterwards.

ed

 

[phoenix1105]

Hey everyone, I really appreciate the ideas. I am kinda new to this, and learning as I go. Both opinions helped too. I know right off the bat that my head id messed up. Is there anywhere I can talk about what is messing my?

Basicly my life has been rough and i want to get everything out. If anyone wants o offer advice all the better.

The other thing is : mods let me know where I should post.. thanks

 

[PertPerth]

um...with all due respect, i disagree with pertperth, for one reason: you still know that the only reason you're getting attention is due to your wallet.

my concern is that you might temporarily get some of the feeling you want, but will lose it, and more, afterwards.

ed

I think he was more asking about "going alone" rather than "going for love and affection". I see nothing wrong with going alone (like going to a movie alone) but it's not a great place to seek affection...which is why I suggested speed dating. I've been to a few strip clubs and the thing I noticed the most (other than boobies) was that none of the women looked happy. To me, that's not very sexy at all. And most of the time you're not allowed to touch them either...hence the name "strip tease". It's a tease, it hurts.

Anyway, Phoenix, confidence is something that you should try to bluff until you've got your old self back. Nobody will notice the difference (other than you!).

 

[PertPerth]

Hey everyone, I really appreciate the ideas. I am kinda new to this, and learning as I go. Both opinions helped too. I know right off the bat that my head id messed up. Is there anywhere I can talk about what is messing my?

Basicly my life has been rough and i want to get everything out. If anyone wants o offer advice all the better.

The other thing is : mods let me know where I should post.. thanks

Posting here is better than posting on the General Board. There are lots of nice people with lots of great advice here.

 

[silverwhisper]

pertperth: that's fair, and i agree that there's no issue in going solo to a strip club. :>

phoenix: yeah, this is definitely a good place to ask the question. it's why this forum exists, man.

as to what's going on in your head: me, i always find that talking with someone whose insight i really trust is best for this sort of thing. i agree with pertperth that "fake it 'til you make it" is a good route to go. heaven knows i've done it myself more than a few times. :>

ed

 

[phoenix1105]

One of the major reasons for all this is a horible self esteem.The other thing that makes me really hesitent to go to a bar or club to meet people. I have a variation of a mitochondrial that limits my ability to walk so I have use a cane to walk with. I am reallyself-conicious when I walk with the cane. I am 27 and have had only one partner that I was. She stole something like 75000k thought maybe I could help bring up my opinion of myself. Bottom line, I want to get some type of expsure. I see the strippers as a way to do it.

Then again it could just be myself becoming dillusional.

 

[silverwhisper]

dude, you're letting your cane define you by becoming so concerned about it and the effect it may have on people's perceptions.

for many years, i was convinced i was at best of average looks. it took me a very long while to understand that whatever i thought of my appearance, it wasn't what the women with whom i became involved thought.

to be honest, i'm kinda reminded of a conversation i had w/ a friend of mine, who has a pretty severe form of diabetes. he began dating, and expressed some concern about what a date might think of his having to dash off to test his blood sugar. so i'm going to say to you what i said to him: a woman who judges you based on that isn't someone with whom you want to waste your time.

in a sense, the distance you may be perceiving from others may be there b/c in part you're putting it there subconsciously, by appearing apprehensive or anxious. most people are comfortable talking with people who appear comfortable: apprehensive or anxious do not characterize a person who is comfortable.

when you come right down to it: you want to spend time with someone, an honest-to-goodness real, live woman. you do need to exhibit some measure of confidence, even if it's faked. remember, they have to be worth your time, too.

you are more than your cane. your behavior is how you show people this, you know? :>

ed

 

[phoenix1105]

I think he was more asking about "going alone" rather than "going for love and affection". I see nothing wrong with going alone (like going to a movie alone) but it's not a great place to seek affection...which is why I suggested speed dating. I've been to a few strip clubs and the thing I noticed the most (other than boobies). was that none of the women looked happy. To me, that's not very sexy at all. And most of the time you're not allowed to touch them either...hence the name "strip tease". It's a tease, it hurts.

Anyway, Phoenix, confidence is something that you should try to bluff until you've got your old self back. Nobody will notice the difference (other than you!).

Really, I graduated severa years ago~05iwh and a couple people got me to go along. Let me tell you the whole no touchingl thing is IMO if you For example I was ears jeans and a buttm up shirtflash somean the 6ft thing is right out the window. She jumped on me and went to town. She got tota;;y naked like a man women...

 

[BenDover4]

Ever since I left my fiance, I really want a relationship. I want to have something sexual besides the net. One of the problems is that I lost a lot of my confidence. I think being with another women, even for a few hours might help me in that department. I dont know if I am over my ex-fiance. Is it is cool if I go alone? Honestly I want someone to find me intresting, even if their intrest is the cash and credit...

Any suggestion?

Why is this thread entitled Strip Clubs ??

 

[silverwhisper]

re-read the last 2 sentences in the OP.

ed

 

[Jordan215]

Is it is cool if I go alone? Honestly I want someone to find me intresting, even if their intrest is the cash and credit...

Any suggestion?

of course its cool, theyll welcome you with open arms

 

[ZoeBird]

I don't think you will gain any confidence or self esteem by paying a woman for attention and/or sex.

Take a little time to heal and then move on and start dating again. Join a site like eHarmony and start exploring.

 

[redpaint]

OK time for my two cents:mad. There is alot of good advise already give. But I know what it is to have to use a cane at such an early age. What it sounds like most is your still hurting over your ex. just give your self some time to get over her.

Don't worry so much about using your cane. Women who wont have anything to do with you becouse of it, ain't worth meeting anyway. It is your personality that will win a woman's heart. Your cane nor your disability will matter to her. Go to your local pub, stores like Walmart, book stores. anywhere women meet take it slow at first but soon you will find you have your confindince back.

I sorry I had to be short with this. But I am about to go out the door. Trust me I know about canes and disabilitys I have bouth. feel fre to PM if you want to talk more.

 

[JMac20]

You might be better off spending your money in a massage parlour. It's private and you'll get more attention.