Stupid GO#$%^@@ friends

[indyweasel]

WARNING! There is lots of aimless rambling in this post!

A couple of you have asked me why I've been in a bad mood the last 2 days. I've kind of blown you off, and I apologize for that. Some others thought that they were the subjuct of the problem, and my problem has nothing to do with this board at all.

Recently I had what I thought was a very good friend come to me with a problem. He is thinking about getting a divorce. He does not love his wife ( hasnt for a couple of years) he is not attracted to her, she does little for him, etc, etc. We sat down over a couple of beers and talked about the situation. They do have kids, so that is a concern, but the kids are already screwed up by the tense situation in the house anyway.

I told him that the kids should not be the only reason you stay with her. They had tried marriage consuling before, but that didnt help. All I tried to do was be someone he could talk to, and get it all off of his chest. I really tried hard not to give an opinion of my own, because HE has to come to the answer. Noone else can 'help' him figure out what to do.

Yesterday morning I get a call at work from a mutual friend of the wife saying that I should F'ing keep my nose out of things that dont concern me, how do I tell him to get a divorce, etc,etc,etc. I guess that is why I had such a thng on the Respect thread yesterday, here she is, not even knowing what was said or anything, showing me absolutly no respect and that really pissed me off.

I know that this isnt the best forum for something like this, I just had to get it off my chest, and to apologize to the people know that I'd been rude to.

You may know return to your normal groping, snuggling and whatever else you want to do.

 

[Blackbich]

Did you tell her that she shouldn't be putting her two cents into the mix before getting the whole story?

It really pisses me off when people do that. A 'friend' of mine used to always come to me with her problems then go back and tell her men that I was trying to break them up and, usually, what I had said to her was blown way out of proportion. I try to avoid getting into anything of that sort now.

So what are you gonna do now? I would confront my friend just to have her deny she'd said anything, which I knew better. I eventually cut off contact with her.

 

[indyweasel]

Actually, since I was at work, my options were limited as to what to tell them. I have brought it up to the friend yet becuase he doesnt neeed anymore pressure/bullshit about what is going on. I do not want him feeling guilty about talking to me. He needs to know that I am there to talk to him whenever he needs me.


The bitch on the other hand, will get it from me. It might not be today, or even this month. But she will get hers. I will damn well make sure of that.


It sucks being a friend doesnt it? Thanks for the ear BB.

 

[Kuddles]

indyweasel...

well I would say her reaction is taking up for her friend and is sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. Stay there for your friend.

I am going through a divorce myself...and I would never begrudge my soon to be ex-husband any of his support from his friends. Everyone needs that!

Here's hoping for the best for you!

 

[Blackbich]

It does suck being a friend!

Good luck and anytime you need to talk, you know where to find me.

 

[indyweasel]

Thank you..

BB and DW thanks a lot.

It means a lot to me that 2 people who I have never even taken the time to say hello to, can come in here and leave me a warm thought.

DW - my condolencse.

To hell with everyone who says this board is good for nothing!

 

[Isolde]

Indy, doll, *hugs ya tight* sorry that that is all I can offer but I really do know where you are coming from. You stick with your friend. It sounds like the wife is looking for someone else besides herself to blame for this mess and you are the scapegoat.

If you ever need to bend someone's ear just email me and I will give you my AIM so that you can have someone to listen to.

 

[Imoen]

Friendship is a very good thing..

It's just difficult at times. That's part of the basics of being a good friend. You're there through the good times as well as the bad, even when all you can do is to offer a supportive shoulder or a ear to let them vent their troubles. It's not easy and one really shouldn't expect it to be. BUT! .. It is worthwhile. No doubt in my mind about that.

In my humble opinion, you're a good friend to him. Don't let her rude interference sway you from that.

 

[Isolde]

Listen to the woman...Imoen has been there for me even when I bit her head off for something she didnt do. She has let me have her shoulder to cry on and listened as I poured my heart out...rambling on and on and on.

But I wouldnt trade her for the world and I hope she feels the same about me.

 

[Outlaw]

Indyweasel

Some advice my uncle gave me when I was in a similar situation:

"A man goes through his life, collecting friendships and making decisions. Part of being a friend is giving advice, which is sometimes accepted and sometimes rejected. No matter what you do with your life, be a good friend. Tell people the truth when they want your opinion, even if it might upset them a little. At least, when the shit hits the fan, and people who aren't your friends attack you, you can hold your head up and say "That person is my friend. I don't care what you think of me, because you aren't my friend the way they are. And when you've said your piece, they'll still be my friend."

Good luck with it all.

 

[Imoen]

Need you even ask?!

Of course I do!!!

*smothers you in hugs and fishie-face smoochies*

 

[SweetCherry]

*wa;ls into thread amd pver to indy for hugs and gropes*

Sorry you're dealing with some stress, indy. Just as you told your buddy, I'm here if you need to talk. Just so you don't mind me sneaking gropes from time to time!

 

[indyweasel]

Everyone,

Thank you. Sometimes I just need to vent, and its nice to know that I have people here who will let me do that and tell me that I'm still not sane


Hey! I want some fish-kisses tooo!! DAMMIT!

 

[bluntforcemama]

So who do I need to beat up so that you'll feel better?

 

[indyweasel]

Myst - Thank you for the offer sweetie, but I have a plan for the little whore who rained on my day yesterday.

However, there are a couple of things you could do for me, that would help you get your mind off of you studies.

 

[Imoen]

Oops! My bad. Nearly forgot here at Lit you're suppose to send gropes and such to the author of the thread.. That's right isn't it?

*smothers indy in hugs and fishie-face smoochies as well*

 

[indyweasel]

Umm.. yeah Imoen that right. Sure.. uh huh..

Actually, you can grope me anytime you like.

*hugs and smooches you back*

 

[Isolde]

Oh oh...watch it cause now I'm jealous! Indy, I thought I had groping privilages!