Submission and... voice type?

[unfoundiamond]

FDR and chocolate bars...

I have a deep but soft voice, so sometimes I have to use effort in order to be heard. Yelling isn't my style though, I am usually extremely relax so I am more likely to just wave someone closer. My eyes seem to be a different story though, they seem to make anyone shut up in mid sentence. Its rather mysterious to me really, often if I just look at someone they apologies for having done nothing. -shrugs-

I believe in the old adage "speak softly but carry a big stick" I think it was from a chocolate candy ad for "thick" bars.
In clubs or restaurants, where it's generally very noisy, people have to lean in towards you and focus more closely on what you are saying.. that is if they are interested in hearing those important things you have to say.
I used to have a problem of not speaking loudly enough or mumbling. More assertive people spoke over me and simply ignored me. Now, I raise my voice an octave or two to get my two cents in.
I still hate when the conversation stops completely and everyone's attention is turned to me ...too much attention makes me a wee bit uncomfortable.

As a submissive, I've been taught to wait until the Dom/mes have finished speaking, then I can ask for permission to speak. That's so dumb, 'cause by that time either I've forgotten what I wanted to say or it just doesn't seem important anymore. It's much easier just to listen...smirks.
Other people just have these big booming voices that need to be heard.
My Master has some hearing loss too, something I often forget. After repeating things two or three times to him, we are both so annoyed with each other by that time, that I've lost the whole gist of what it was I was going to say in the first place...smiles.

"Speak softly but carry a big stick" was a quote from FDR, or our ex presiednt Roosevelt...

 

[Homburg]

"Speak softly but carry a big stick" was a quote from FDR, or our ex presiednt Roosevelt...

Theodore Roosevelt, not Franklin Delano Roosevelt. It was TR's style of diplomacy. In essence, I'm friendly, but my Navy will stomp the shit out of you if it has to. He was proactive in curtailing European intervention in the Western Hemisphere to the point where he would intervene to prevent their intervention.

And it was from a West African proverb that he picke dup in his travels over there, so it isn't really TR's quote, more just something he popularised.

 

[LadyC]

"Speak softly but carry a big stick" was a quote from FDR, or our ex presiednt Roosevelt...

Teddy Roosevelt not FDR!

 

[TerragonSix]

Just a recent thought that had been running through my head... actually started as I was having a conversation with a group of friends; one of whom has a very soft, rather high voice... he got cut off mid thought and had really no chance of "muscling" his way back into the conversation, and I thought... this person must have spent their entire lives being at least socially a little bit submissive...

Does anyone else notice similar things? Like have you ever known a strong dominant personality with a whiny little voice? Or a sub with a deep booming bass?

So does anyone else have similar trends? Do you think it has more to do with self image/confidence? Or does your voice volume/depth automatically "type" you as weak/commanding? I think it's a really interesting topic

I've seen men with deep/low voices that turn out to be complete wimps, and I've seen women with cutesy little voices that turn out to be very leading/dominant.

I think it really has to do with the confidence the person has. Not necessarily the voice the person has.

To give you an example.

Back in my Fire School days, we had this guy that was pretty short, around 5'5, and weighed close to nothing. He had a squeaky voice that didn't exactly make you think he was a tough guy. But you never seen a person work harder though, or be tougher than that guy through the course. He didn't have little man syndrome, he was a good guy to be around. After our class was finally done, we'd celebrate by everyone going to a local bar. Unfortunately, the police academy also lets out about the same time we do.

What ended up happening is that we had to break up a fight, because some big, loudmouth redneck was calling firefighters a bunch of wimps (not the word used), and the guy I'm telling you about, pretty much blitzed, walks up to the guy, who is probably was a foot taller and 150lbs heavier, and says in that squeaky voice, "Oh YEAH? Well this <wimpy> firefighter is about to kick YOUR ASS!"

That's about the time we broke up the fight, because our guy was not joking around.

Like I said, it's all about self-confidence/assurance.

 

[sexikyttn]

Hmmm. I never really thought about it that way either.

I've done a fair amount of singing in my life--and I feel that I'm pretty attuned to the ranges of the voice.

But thinking back, to me it's far, far, more about inflection than pitch. A voice doesn't need to be low in order to be firm and "commanding". That's more about assertion and even body-language. Likewise, inflection plays a strong part on the other side. A high-pitched voice doesn't indicate submission to me, rather I see it more about inflections in the voice that are more subdued.

 

[WhiteKnight326]

I've seen men with deep/low voices that turn out to be complete wimps, and I've seen women with cutesy little voices that turn out to be very leading/dominant.

And aren't these cases all the more interesting?

Thanks for the great input... the firefighter story was great!

From another angle, I guess it must be really hard to overcome your voice/appearance and transcend expcectations.

Two stereotypical examples I'm thinking of are the cute, sweet, tiny little office girl who will rip your heart out of your chest if you don't get her report on her desk in time, and the huge, musclebound guy who could easily take down you and 3 of your friends, but who is so gentle and kind and wouldn't hurt a fly. I love those guys!

 

[Brightdawn]

Dr. Drew, first known for the radio call-in show Loveline, thinks there is a correlation between a high pitch babygirl type voice and a history of sexual abuse.

Thats interesting, and only the second time I have heard that. The first time was actually after the first time I spoke with Him over the phone. I warned him before that, letting him know I did in fact sound like a little girl over the phone, and yep, the next day when we were talking online he mentioned it and said He heard it was common for woman to sound like little girls if they have a history of sexual abuse.

Now I will admit I have been a sexual being for as long as I can remember, feeling urges and what not, but never sexually abused.

 

[honoria]

Interesting topic.

Personally, I'm 28 and look about 15-17 years old. This means that I get patronised a lot and when I try to be assertive, people think I'm some jumped up, precocious teenager. I have dealt with this for years and one of my first defence mechanisms was to modulate my voice and broaden the vocabulary I use in order to give the impression of intelligence and maturity. These days it works, more often than not - once I've been allowed to get a word in edgewise.

As for D/s... I do have a thing for voices. Master has a very deep voice that melts me but he never raises it. Either he gets what he's asked for or it descends into a low, rumbling growl or snarl.

*shivers*

Not that I'd ever act up just to get him snarling and doing mean things to me.

*bats lashes innocently*

As voices go in general, I have a thing for the soft, Edinburgh Scots accent and also for the Co. Kerry Irish accent (fellow Brits will understand the distinction) I could listen to John Hannah read a telephone directory with rapt attention.

Deep voices do turn me on more than higher pitched ones. I once chatted to a guy for a while online and then we arranged a phone call. He had a high pitched voice with a terrible lisp and although I really felt sorry for him, I just couldn't take anything he said seriously.

I am such a bad person.

I couldn't handle a high squeaky voice at all. I actually heard my husband before I saw and met him. He has a wonderful baritone and 29 years later it still sounds as smooth as the first time I heard him.

My voice is smooth but deep for a woman. But having spent years in speech, theater and music I am able to use my voice to suit the situation. The way I speak to my husband is a loooong way from the way my kids or other family members hear me. All in all I really think that the way you use your voice can add greatly to the enjoyment in the bedroom, dining room, den,---you get the idea.

Do any of you think that regional dialects add or detract? For instance, a Scots accent is seriously hot (but then I have this thing for men in kilts).