Suicide

[Bidin~Time]

Call the numbers given to you in this thread, or as also suggested, go to the nearest hospital, walk in the E.R. and tell them you want to kill yourself, but you don't want to kill yourself and need help. Insist to them that if you are permitted to walk out the door, you WILL kill yourself. There is help available.

Please, take Debbie's counsel. Don't do it. What you leave behind is not just grief and sadness, It is pain unlike anything even you, in your level of pain, can ever imagine...and, for those left behind, it never, ever, ever goes away. You want the legacy of your time on this earth to be smiles and good memories, not tears, guilt and unbearable grief.

You have my prayers, that you are shown you are worth whatever it takes to give you hope.

 

[marshalt]

Just don't make someone else do your dirty work. I just read about a transgender who jumped in front of a tractor who is now being hailed as a hero. Meanwhile. The tractor driver will be haunted for the rest of his life. Ditto "suicide by cop". Don't be a dick, go jump off a bridge.

I was wondering when someone was going to bring that up. I'm sure everyone is telling him there was nothing he could have done, but I'm sure he spends a lot of time thinking of how he could have stopped it.

That kid is a fucking asshole.

 

[JohnnySavage]

There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about it.

 

[lovetoread]

My doctor said low Vitamin D adds to depression, and 2,000 units a day will help. Little, tiny gel caps that are simple to swallow.

I couldn't tell you how well it works though. When I tried to check myself out in the mirror, my reflection walked away disgusted. I'm almost afraid to go out in the sun, for fear of finding out my shadow has deserted me also.

This is sort of true.

I have a Vit D deficiency.

I can tell when I start thinking certain thoughts that I have to up the dose.

 

[doowdniw]

I cannot presume to know the pain that someone is feeling that would be so great as to drive one to end one's existence. But being married to a sibling of someone who succeeded in doing so, I can assure you that the swath of lives you would impact with your action would be wide and deep. I look at suicide as a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but, again, I would not presume to know what pain would drive you to it.

 

[Kitty]

Please don't do it. If you are feeling desperate, go to your nearest Emergency Department. They can help you.

Can they? Will they help you pay your bills, feed your kids, make friends, get a partner, and feel less inadequate overall?

Unless the person has some chemical imbalance they can't help that affects their health.

Or schizophrenia; of course, contact someone once you can find the phone after you realize you're not Bertha the burlesque dancer who frequents bars in 1922 New York-

but that you're Robert, the plumber from Ohio

 

[Balladeer08]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Balladeer08 View Post
My doctor said low Vitamin D adds to depression, and 2,000 units a day will help. Little, tiny gel caps that are simple to swallow.

I couldn't tell you how well it works though. When I tried to check myself out in the mirror, my reflection walked away disgusted. I'm almost afraid to go out in the sun, for fear of finding out my shadow has deserted me also.

This is sort of true.

You mean my shadow has walked out on me too?

That FUCKER!

 

[Rogue25]

When I came home to find my stepson (who had lived with us from 14 and was a sibling to my sons in our blended family) had ended his life I couldnt breath. I was numb. I wanted to take my heart and rip it out. I wanted to laugh with him again. To bear hug him when he wasnt expecting it. I wanted to hear his laugh again. I wanted his friends to come and visit and fill our house with their jokes and noise. I will never have that again. Ever. And I was just his step Mum. His Dad is more than devastated. His daughter is 8 now and she has photos and stories we tell. She has his things. Drawings. Photos. his camera. But she doesnt have him.

The grief is a harsh heavy weight that never goes away from the loss of someone to suicide. The feeling of helplessness never goes away. The feeling of did I not notice? What could I have done to help? Is it my fault never goes away. The heartache is always there - you just learn to bear it somehow.

Thank you again Debbie for sharing and setting it in some perspective. It is funny how many people come here and tell you just to "get on with it" or think it's amusing - until of course it happens to them or one of their family members then they will be in the same position as you or I. Thank you for sharing you are helping develop a context and some reasoning. I appreciate your sincerity amongst all the other silly comments.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Thank you again Debbie for sharing and setting it in some perspective. It is funny how many people come here and tell you just to "get on with it" or think it's amusing - until of course it happens to them or one of their family members then they will be in the same position as you or I. Thank you for sharing you are helping develop a context and some reasoning. I appreciate your sincerity amongst all the other silly comments.

Here's your problem:

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=59031931&postcount=1

 

[smoothg103rd]

Here's your problem:

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=59031931&postcount=1

Lol..

 

[Ipickmynose4u]

Your thoughts on it?
Destructive or for some people a release from personal circumstances?

Religious views? Impact on family?

weighing up my options.

its kind a suisidal reading throuh this tred this far. your suside depends on to me why are you thnking of it because of what? if your a comon man then maybe just do what ever you can to hang on for now and wait a wile bcause the depresso will pass. promis. if your mentaly assaulted then imedietly seek pro help. and when i say pro I men a DOCTOR! and wen I say imedietly i men NOW! if your thinking this bcause you molestd your litle nephew or some thing like that then I vote you just go ahed and jump.

 

[Jennifer]

Can they? Will they help you pay your bills, feed your kids, make friends, get a partner, and feel less inadequate overall?

Unless the person has some chemical imbalance they can't help that affects their health.

Or schizophrenia; of course, contact someone once you can find the phone after you realize you're not Bertha the burlesque dancer who frequents bars in 1922 New York-

but that you're Robert, the plumber from Ohio

Is this an act? I find it extremely difficult to think that someone is this stupid.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Lol..

People will tell you what's wrong. The problem is, few people listen.

 

[smoothg103rd]

People will tell you what's wrong. The problem is, few people listen.

Some just are hardheaded.

 

[jonthechaosman]

I once heard...It'll be alright in the end. If it aint alright, it aint the end.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

If those sound flippant, well I guess they are. They are still true.

I've been there. Gun in hand and in mouth. Someone stopped me in the nick of time. It did get better. Eventually.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Some just are hardheaded.

Or don't care.

 

[Freebird49]

suicide! hmmmmm

Your thoughts on it?
Destructive or for some people a release from personal circumstances?

Religious views? Impact on family?

weighing up my options.

I've known several people who have openly contemplated it and (fortunately) two of those were unsuccessful. Despair is a region most people don't understand - a person who is suicidal is not depressed - they are in the abyss of despair.

I also completely disagree with those who say it is the coward's way out. It requires a resolve that is unfathomable. If successful it is irreversible.

My suggestion to you is to speak with councellors who have experience with suicidal thoughts and tendencies.

 

[Joeybagadonuts]

Your thoughts on it?
Destructive or for some people a release from personal circumstances?

Religious views? Impact on family?

weighing up my options.

I highly encourage it for people like Ted Nugent, Dick the prick Cheney, Vlad the Impaler, The chubster from N. Korea, etc...etc...etc.

 

[Curtis71]

12 years ago I decided that ending my life was the only answer. And in that moment no one could have changed my mind or understood why I felt that way. Luckily I had technical difficulties and failed.

I have the most awesome life now and I often thank Chance, Change & Chaos for my failure because I would have missed out on so much.

I'm glad I'm still here and if you stick around, you will feel the same one day.

 

[Kitty]

Is this an act? I find it extremely difficult to think that someone is this stupid.

Bitch shut up. I've said what I now see many people have said.

If it's a chemical imbalance, they should contact emergency.
If it's schizophrenia, someone should contact emergency.
If it's a feeling of sadness or inadequacy or rage, I stand by how can calling someone help? You're the one who said call the emergency.

If someone has a gun to their head, I doubt they'll call a help line And calling a help line can calm them down but it still doesn't solve any of their problems, that they are stressed because they can't pay their bills or whatever the issue is. You think you have say because you're a nurse or whatever you do but you can still be a dumb ass.

 

[Balladeer08]

For a couple of years I had a clip from this as the message on my voicemail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgwXa9YrD6c

 

[Littlefinger]

Debated sharing this but here it goes...

I've attempted suicide. Twice. Back in the summer of 2013, my ex and I were having problems. I was blamed for a lot and very willing to take the fault in an attempt to make him happy, while ignoring myself completely. Became a bit of a ghost, slept most of the time and threw myself into fantasy the rest of it. Finally, when the noise inside got loud enough, I told him about it. Those thoughts of circular logic that make so much sense in that darkness, of why I was never good enough and never would be. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy of internal dialogue telling myself how needy I was and making myself cry and be sad and telling myself how pathetic that was but ignoring the issues didn't make me feel better, it was like a sore under your clothes, rub rub rubbing. I was a coward for not taking my life but if I took it, I'd still be "wrong" in my eyes. At some point, you just want to make yourself shut up and leave you alone. And my ex boyfriend was no help, fueling this internal dialogue with his absent, neglectful nature and when he was there, criticizing everything. I couldn't admit that what I wanted might not be him; the problem had to be me.

I told him I was having the thoughts and we drove me to the emergency room. Spent a week getting straightened out in a hospital, was released with an optimistic point of view. Stayed out about a week, went back to work for one day and my ex brought up that he thought he might not be in love with me anymore. But oh, we'd work something out, since I had nowhere to go. I acted like everything was alright, smiled and we kissed and went to bed together. The next day, I tied a weight to my foot and tried to drown myself in the pool in the backyard. A neighbor saw me and jumped in to haul my ass out. In the emergency room, when I was under suicide watch, I cut open my arm with a broken pen. I will have those scars forever.

Spent a month in the hospital that time. A different one, with better doctors who actually gave a shit. Spent a lot of time away from him, even though his guilt had him wanting to go to couples counseling with me and work the shit out. I can't tell you what changed, except my attitude. Something clicked when I was in the hospital, going to groups and not seeing him as often. That kind of "I'm worth it" mantra got sucked in and stamped into my bones. And I got mad. When I got out of the hospital and we went to couples counseling, he got the therapist to side with him about how I was a worthless piece of shit and needed to fix my issues. I did and it still wasn't enough. And I was furious. Mad that I'd been led to believe certain things about myself, to accept certain limitations, that this internal monologue was all shit I'd been told at some point and I was mad at the people who said that shit. I was mad I hurt myself, mad that even after everything, he never once apologized or owned any of it.

I'm rambling and I've said way too much. But there comes a certain point where you have to accept that it's okay to make demands. Of yourself, of other people, of life, and to have those orders filled. Don't know what you're going through but sometimes the safety of a hospital visit can give someone time to reflect and the peace and quiet to hear something other than other people's voices inside your own head. Best of luck to you.

 

[Jennifer]

Bitch shut up. I've said what I now see many people have said.

If it's a chemical imbalance, they should contact emergency.
If it's schizophrenia, someone should contact emergency.
If it's a feeling of sadness or inadequacy or rage, I stand by how can calling someone help? You're the one who said call the emergency.

If someone has a gun to their head, I doubt they'll call a help line And calling a help line can calm them down but it still doesn't solve any of their problems, that they are stressed because they can't pay their bills or whatever the issue is. You think you have say because you're a nurse or whatever you do but you can still be a dumb ass.

You're funny.

 

[NtlSecAgcy]

Debated sharing this but here it goes...

I've attempted suicide. Twice. Back in the summer of 2013, my ex and I were having problems. I was blamed for a lot and very willing to take the fault in an attempt to make him happy, while ignoring myself completely. Became a bit of a ghost, slept most of the time and threw myself into fantasy the rest of it. Finally, when the noise inside got loud enough, I told him about it. Those thoughts of circular logic that make so much sense in that darkness, of why I was never good enough and never would be. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy of internal dialogue telling myself how needy I was and making myself cry and be sad and telling myself how pathetic that was but ignoring the issues didn't make me feel better, it was like a sore under your clothes, rub rub rubbing. I was a coward for not taking my life but if I took it, I'd still be "wrong" in my eyes. At some point, you just want to make yourself shut up and leave you alone. And my ex boyfriend was no help, fueling this internal dialogue with his absent, neglectful nature and when he was there, criticizing everything. I couldn't admit that what I wanted might not be him; the problem had to be me.

I told him I was having the thoughts and we drove me to the emergency room. Spent a week getting straightened out in a hospital, was released with an optimistic point of view. Stayed out about a week, went back to work for one day and my ex brought up that he thought he might not be in love with me anymore. But oh, we'd work something out, since I had nowhere to go. I acted like everything was alright, smiled and we kissed and went to bed together. The next day, I tied a weight to my foot and tried to drown myself in the pool in the backyard. A neighbor saw me and jumped in to haul my ass out. In the emergency room, when I was under suicide watch, I cut open my arm with a broken pen. I will have those scars forever.

Spent a month in the hospital that time. A different one, with better doctors who actually gave a shit. Spent a lot of time away from him, even though his guilt had him wanting to go to couples counseling with me and work the shit out. I can't tell you what changed, except my attitude. Something clicked when I was in the hospital, going to groups and not seeing him as often. That kind of "I'm worth it" mantra got sucked in and stamped into my bones. And I got mad. When I got out of the hospital and we went to couples counseling, he got the therapist to side with him about how I was a worthless piece of shit and needed to fix my issues. I did and it still wasn't enough. And I was furious. Mad that I'd been led to believe certain things about myself, to accept certain limitations, that this internal monologue was all shit I'd been told at some point and I was mad at the people who said that shit. I was mad I hurt myself, mad that even after everything, he never once apologized or owned any of it.

I'm rambling and I've said way too much. But there comes a certain point where you have to accept that it's okay to make demands. Of yourself, of other people, of life, and to have those orders filled. Don't know what you're going through but sometimes the safety of a hospital visit can give someone time to reflect and the peace and quiet to hear something other than other people's voices inside your own head. Best of luck to you.

Thanks for sharing.

Do you feel better now, or should we send someone over?

 

[Kitty]

You're funny.

Lol I hate some of these internet bitches. I hope you know in real life, sweetie, I easily outmatch you, but go on. Anything else?

Nah nevermind. Save it. Not interested.