Summer Title Challenge

[Magnetron]

I will confess to the overwhelming urge of doing rewrites because they were rushed, submitting them to DUP simultaneously under my various acounts and confusing the shit out everyone because they all have the same title.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Number 12 is growing on me. At first I just shrugged it off as a picture postcard, but after repeated readings the sensuality of it is reaching out to me, and the final strophe is very mysterious. Also, this seems to be the only "Door Into Summer" poem where the door is in an automobile.

 

[greenmountaineer]

3 StlGoddessFreya
5. UYS
7. Magnetron
10. remec
11. Always Hungry
12. Angeline
13. pelegrino
14. butters
15. Champagne
16. Magnetron
17. todski


Since Harry and butters have been outed as #2 & #14, respectively, and 4 poets assigned blame to me for #9, I'll fess up to the latter. That should make guessing a little bit easier if anyone is still doing it.

 

[HarryHill]

confession - mine's no14 and i cocked up the names - saul became paul, not peter. how embarrassing!

-Sister Mary Catherine would have your ass, even so, just exactly does that line mean?

 

[Magnetron]

2 = Harry

5 = UnderYourSpell

8 = pelegrino

9 = greenmountaineer

11 = pelegrino

17 = todski

Had to update my guesses before the beans are spilled.




19 total

- 6 guesses
- 5 Magnetron's
- 1 Butters confession

= 7 that I have no clue

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

confession - mine's no14 and i cocked up the names - saul became paul, not peter. how embarrassing!

I'm so glad you said something - I've been trying to figure out which allusion I was missing for a day!

 

[champagne1982]

I confess to number 1. I'm not sure why AH finds it prose but to each his own. Apply the horrible winter and desolate spring of a new widow to the poem and the metaphor may just jump out at you.

At any rate. I didn't try very hard, but I thought I should get back to the community even if only to receive feedback on how to develop the extended metaphor a bit better.

There are some fabulous poems and excellent feedback thank you, all.

Nice work on the challenge, Trix.

 

[greenmountaineer]

I confess to number 1. I'm not sure why AH finds it prose but to each his own. Apply the horrible winter and desolate spring of a new widow to the poem and the metaphor may just jump out at you.

At any rate. I didn't try very hard, but I thought I should get back to the community even if only to receive feedback on how to develop the extended metaphor a bit better.

There are some fabulous poems and excellent feedback thank you, all.

Nice work on the challenge, Trix.

You fooled me because I usually don't associate rhyme with your work. I liked it BTW. I thought the repetition added something to the burden of it all.

Ditto on the compliment to Trix.

 

[Trixareforkids]

I confess to number 1. I'm not sure why AH finds it prose but to each his own. Apply the horrible winter and desolate spring of a new widow to the poem and the metaphor may just jump out at you.

At any rate. I didn't try very hard, but I thought I should get back to the community even if only to receive feedback on how to develop the extended metaphor a bit better.

There are some fabulous poems and excellent feedback thank you, all.

Nice work on the challenge, Trix.

Thanks Champ.

Btw, I read your poem as a piece about grief and felt it was a light handed and very adept metaphor.

I quite enjoyed all the different interpretations/directions y'all took.

 

[Magnetron]

I say, Damn Trixie to hell for this comp.

It has seriously infected my brain.

 

[Trixareforkids]

I say, Damn Trixie to hell for this comp.

It has seriously infected my brain.

My brain was infected byHeinlein and his ilk over 30 years ago, it can make you think troubling thoughts, it's incurable but not life threatening

 

[Magnetron]

My brain was infected byHeinlein and his ilk over 30 years ago, it can make you think troubling thoughts, it's incurable but not life threatening

Incurable, eh?

* jumps into Time Machine

travels back thirty-something years

gives Trix the Heinlein Manuever *








edit:

that sounded dirty

 

[butters]

3 StlGoddessFreya
5. UYS
7. Magnetron
10. remec
11. Always Hungry
12. Angeline
13. pelegrino
14. butters
15. Champagne
16. Magnetron
17. todski


Since Harry and butters have been outed as #2 & #14, respectively, and 4 poets assigned blame to me for #9, I'll fess up to the latter. That should make guessing a little bit easier if anyone is still doing it.

aha, no9 - i guessed right

is it in any way a reference to people involved with setting up the fire watch in shoshone reservation, or some way linked to why there was one set up? if i type in dani, esther, and shoshone, i get the reservation and fire prevention stuff come up each time. your writes are always an education, so ejjukate me pls?

-Sister Mary Catherine would have your ass, even so, just exactly does that line mean?

come strike this word-blind muse
saul's peter - floored

calling for the lightning/electrical spark of creativity to come strip the blindness away from the muse so it's able to make the words happen... saul, as you know, knocked from his horse in an act of revelation, saul becoming paul (not peter *she whispers*)

I'm so glad you said something - I've been trying to figure out which allusion I was missing for a day!

it's so bad. sorry i was tired, but then i followed it up with blindly missing the glaring error. oops. peter sounds better than paul, having 2 syllables and just soundwise - plus i've a thing against that particular name. so, sloppy writing, apologies!

 

[HarryHill]

aha, no9 - i guessed right

snip[,b]


come strike this word-blind muse
saul's peter - floored

calling for the lightning/electrical spark of creativity to come strip the blindness away from the muse so it's able to make the words happen... saul, as you know, knocked from his horse in an act of revelation, saul becoming paul (not peter *she whispers*)


it's so bad. sorry i was tired, but then i followed it up with blindly missing the glaring error. oops. peter sounds better than paul, having 2 syllables and just soundwise - plus i've a thing against that particular name. so, sloppy writing, apologies!

Something about the scales falling from his eyes?. as you know I've long quit wearing my bible belt for suspenders... just so glad you didn't use Thomas

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

come strike this word-blind muse
saul's peter - floored

calling for the lightning/electrical spark of creativity to come strip the blindness away from the muse so it's able to make the words happen... saul, as you know, knocked from his horse in an act of revelation, saul becoming paul (not peter *she whispers*)


it's so bad. sorry i was tired, but then i followed it up with blindly missing the glaring error. oops. peter sounds better than paul, having 2 syllables and just soundwise - plus i've a thing against that particular name. so, sloppy writing, apologies!

I kept trying to make it a play on "saltpeter" as in the gunpowder ingredient that was rumored to be added to army food to kill the men's libidos and that seemed like...the opposite of what you were going for.

 

[Magnetron]

Butters,

No.14 for some wacky reason gave me the sense I was in a kitchen where poetry was being cooked up.

Probably because of the earlier mentioned jars and then later boil and hiss and word-blind muse.

So ..... I couldn't help but read this

come strike this word-blind muse
saul's peter - floored

as

come strike this word-blind muse
saltpeter's on the floor

which is weird ... because saltpeter is a food preservative ... but is also an ingredient in various explosives ... which is also weird ... because you mention thunder and just recently

saul, as you know, knocked from his horse in an act of revelation

Okay, I'm done rambling.

 

[Magnetron]

I kept trying to make it a play on "saltpeter" as in the gunpowder ingredient that was rumored to be added to army food to kill the men's libidos and that seemed like...the opposite of what you were going for.

At least I know I'm not crazy now for ending up with saltpeter on the brain.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Confessing to #5 but there's another in there that's not so obvious as it's already been attributed to others. Who DID write the Trtitina #18?

 

[HarryHill]

Confessing to #5 but there's another in there that's not so obvious as it's already been attributed to others. Who DID write the Trtitina #18?

pelegrino

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

At least I know I'm not crazy now for ending up with saltpeter on the brain.

If we had any more saltpeter on the brain, maybe we wouldn't write so many poems, eh?

 

[Magnetron]

If we had any more saltpeter on the brain, maybe we wouldn't write so many poems, eh?

Hmmm ..... salted brains ...... mmmm ...... there's a sci-fi themed poem somewhere in the making here .....................

 

[Trixareforkids]

Incurable, eh?

* jumps into Time Machine

travels back thirty-something years

gives Trix the Heinlein Manuever *


edit:

that sounded dirty

LOL, yes it does, especially if you've read Stranger In A Strange Land

 

[greenmountaineer]

aha, no9 - i guessed right

is it in any way a reference to people involved with setting up the fire watch in shoshone reservation, or some way linked to why there was one set up? if i type in dani, esther, and shoshone, i get the reservation and fire prevention stuff come up each time. your writes are always an education, so ejjukate me pls?

....

Nope, coincidental. I knew nothing about a fire watch in the Shoshone reservation. I picked "Shoshone" because of the sonics of it in the line. This is a great example of why a poet should research any personal noun used in a poem. "Shoshone" was the adjective. Forest was the noun, intended to take precedence, my bad.

Actually, Always Hungry hit the nail on the head, so to speak in his earlier post. I wanted to convey Dani as someone who likes boys, but then there's Esther with whom Dani may have a platonic or bisexual relationship.

 

[todski28]

Damn time, I need some more of it in a day, anyone got a magic spell to sort that out?
there are still pieces in the spring challenge I want to comment on, and a few here that I wouldn't mind having a look at, but well life is life

 

[UnderYourSpell]

pelegrino

Well done Pelegrino! At least I can post mine onto my Poetry page on Facebook now.