Sunday Special
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JaxRhapsody
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I actually had sex in a church once. Me and my girlfriend were fucking on the floor in this room in the youth room where we waited at. The preacher walked in looking for us, she was riding me and slammed the door in his face. Shit was hilarious.
sirhugs
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and in Chapter two, we find out what the pastor did after?
sirhugs
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The Church gas a tradition of doing matchmaking for the single members whenever Valentine's Day falls on Sunday. How better for meembers to meet others of similar beliefs (like no sex without marriage). Of course, the "no sex" part does not always work out. there have been more than a few quickie marriages and "premature births" of chubby babies. But hey, it results in families, so no one says anything.
How is it different during a pandemic?
How is it different during a pandemic?
sirhugs
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Speaking of clouds...do we think angels get Sundays off?
If so, do they spend the time having sex on their clouds (Philly Cream Cheese sex anyone?)
If not, do they sneak away from their posts for illicit sex ;like human workers? If so, is it with other angels, humans, nonhumans, or demons?
If so, do they spend the time having sex on their clouds (Philly Cream Cheese sex anyone?)
If not, do they sneak away from their posts for illicit sex ;like human workers? If so, is it with other angels, humans, nonhumans, or demons?
Hypoxia
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The day-off depends on whether the angels are Jewish, Catholic, Orthodoxoi, mainstream Prods, Adventist, Quaker, Mormon, Muslim, Buddhist, Satanist, or Subgenius. Do they have sex slaves or kitchen slaves? Who bakes angel-food cakes and angel-hair pasta? Who rides the sacred messengers? Do fallen angels have more fun? Do wayward angels and demons have illicit hangouts? Are other fae folk welcome? Are hamadryads hotter than archangels?
Rozalin's Purely Sinful answers few of those questions.
I think we can assume that holy spirits must work on their faiths' sacred days. Every day is a Catholic saint's day so the poor Vatican workforce never gets a break except for Jubilee fests and Leap Days. Expect a Catholic angelic orgy every Feb 29th, unless that's a Sunday. Of course, if the spirits have power to manipulate time, the half-second before midnight can be stretched to forever. Do they abide by human time zones? If not, it's almost midnight somewhere on Earth constantly. That explains precipitation i.e. angelic genital leakage.
AvroAnson
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Some people are drawn to organized religion because it is an organizational tool, giving structure. "Father Bob" saw it as a means to what he saw as good ends. From a non- Latin religious tradition that did not require celibacy, just obedience, when I knew him he lived in a tiny book filled office that the local aero club rented to him at a nominal charge. He was a "flying priest" who went out into the desert to provide counseling, along with educational and emotional support for his flock, most of whom were Aboriginal.
He supported his mission by teaching at the aero club, Bob held instructors credentials, and by flying charters if he had the time. His mates, that would be the gang of us reprobates who hung around the airport's three hangars and terminal building, threw parties to raise money for his many projects. They were always things that materially improved life in the inland.
They were not specifically sex parties, but given the audience, nearly aways included some generous amount of group sex on premises. As stated, my openly agnostic religious mentor, Father Bob could not have broken a vow of chastity, because he wasn't required to take one. His religious superiors recognized this as an asset.Those he worked with in the bush trusted him because he was a man and not a enuch.
I can't say that he taught me three important things, but he reinforced them. 1: Question everything but listen for answers. 2: Semen is a savory, salty treat. 3: Scalp massages while giving head totally rock. He was a wonderful man and good friend whose whole adult life was dedicated to materially helping others.
We had a standing joke. I'd walk up to him and say: "Oh daddy, I really need you, ' cause I've been a very bad girl."(Depending on the audience I sometimes added: "I've had dirty thoughts and then done those dirty things."
He'd reply: "Xxxxxx, that line goes: 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. (And they are called 'sins of xxxx.)."
Sometimes, if he were unfamiliar with a term, I had to demonstrate what I meant.
He supported his mission by teaching at the aero club, Bob held instructors credentials, and by flying charters if he had the time. His mates, that would be the gang of us reprobates who hung around the airport's three hangars and terminal building, threw parties to raise money for his many projects. They were always things that materially improved life in the inland.
They were not specifically sex parties, but given the audience, nearly aways included some generous amount of group sex on premises. As stated, my openly agnostic religious mentor, Father Bob could not have broken a vow of chastity, because he wasn't required to take one. His religious superiors recognized this as an asset.Those he worked with in the bush trusted him because he was a man and not a enuch.
I can't say that he taught me three important things, but he reinforced them. 1: Question everything but listen for answers. 2: Semen is a savory, salty treat. 3: Scalp massages while giving head totally rock. He was a wonderful man and good friend whose whole adult life was dedicated to materially helping others.
We had a standing joke. I'd walk up to him and say: "Oh daddy, I really need you, ' cause I've been a very bad girl."(Depending on the audience I sometimes added: "I've had dirty thoughts and then done those dirty things."
He'd reply: "Xxxxxx, that line goes: 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. (And they are called 'sins of xxxx.)."
Sometimes, if he were unfamiliar with a term, I had to demonstrate what I meant.
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AvroAnson
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"You open my legs to see
I see your beauty and your majesty
In every breath I breathe
Every heartbeat
I'm living for You my King
My Lord is here in me
Jesus go down on me
Jesus go down on me
Jesus go down on me
Jesus go down on me"
-- Traditional Hymnal (I only changed two different words, one of them four times.)
Or being vistited by young Watchtower Missionaries who want to spread the "really good news" (should be in E/V)
In 'Carmen and the Devil' (deleted) which I based on the Levon Helm* song about the murder of 242 US citizens on the night of September 30–October 1, 1919 by the US State of Arkansas. Carmen, who is haunted by the souls of those drowned, returns to the 'Hoop Spur' and is comforted by 'ole Beelzebub. Compared to others, he taint so bad.
Yeah, they actually did just that, well at least communal poverty and polygyny.
Also in the Middle ages, in the South of France, gynostic dualists saw a two-faceted God. One of light, creation and order in the daytime, and one of indulgence, decadence, and darkness at night. In 'Languedoc' (a deleted story) the populace of the city is prim and proper never discussing sex or desire in the light of day. At dusk the elderly and under 18 are locked away and it's a naked version of Carnivale on coke in the streets.
In Renaissance Italy, some sects believed that insomuch as Jesus had died for all of us sinners, sin was an important part of the equation. Since it would be most unkind to reject his gift -- how can you be forgiven and saved if you haven't sinned -- it was necessary to sin so you could be forgiven. They held orgyistic 'Black Masses' as if it were "backwards day."
Pretty much, even chop their own naughty bits off or kill an annoying Congressman before committing mass suicide.
But on the less psychotic side, how about an orgy in the revival tent or a televanalist televising one and "authorizing" viewers to "participate at home" (after making a pledge no doubt).
*I don't care who is officially credited with 'The Weight' Levon Helm wrote it, the Elaine Massacre happened in the small town he grew up in.
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sirhugs
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As with most songs by The Band, it was credited to Robbie Robertson. There was later controversy between Robertson and other members over song writing credits generally. On Lit, copyright controversy could lead to trying to gave sex with the band mate's spouse, leading to paternity controversies.
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sirhugs
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Palm Sunday
the masturbation puns are obvious, but I combine those with a bit of plot:
The pageant coordinator at the church is stuck for a male to help wrangle the little kids assigned to wave the fronds as Jesus rides into Jerusalum. So she recruits the middle aged widower. He is teamed with the eighteen year old virginal daughter of the coordinator (who may not be so virginal as mommy thinks?). It starts with some obvious puns, proceeds from there- after all, once the kids are on stage, there is time for at least a quickie.
the masturbation puns are obvious, but I combine those with a bit of plot:
The pageant coordinator at the church is stuck for a male to help wrangle the little kids assigned to wave the fronds as Jesus rides into Jerusalum. So she recruits the middle aged widower. He is teamed with the eighteen year old virginal daughter of the coordinator (who may not be so virginal as mommy thinks?). It starts with some obvious puns, proceeds from there- after all, once the kids are on stage, there is time for at least a quickie.
AvroAnsonXIX
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The wedding COULD have been on Sunday.
I wrote a power-exchange piece about a young couple in a Ds relationship who were getting married. The "vanilla" wedding was at 2 PM. the bride would be wearing a formal gown with a high neck line to cover the stainless steel collar she was having installed at the 'au natural 10 AM ceremony' that same -- we'll call it Sunday -- morning.
Most of the guests were on both lists. Just the four parents and a couple of siblings were left off of the 10 AM list. But, by mistake, the bridesmaid who sent out all of the invitations sent out cards that invited everyone to both ceremonies. Mistaking 'au natural' for 'casual' or 'come as you are,' both sets of parents, the bride's brother, and groom's sister showed up a bit before 10 AM to a room full of naked people.
Okay, they weren't actually completely naked. The bride had on pumps, an ankle chain, a veil ... oh, ... and thick gold nipple rings. While the groom sported a big stainless steel PA, and a short thick bar through his fren. Several others guests had on leather harnesses, cuffs, chains, armbinders, bicep bands, and thigh bands. Most of the women wore shiny steel collars -- just like the bride to be received -- as the parents, too surprised to react, watched.
The bride's bro' and groom's sis' were not nearly so restrained as their parents. They disrobed and began to make out with one another after the collaring ceremony was complete. Nothing in either family was ever quite the same afterward. (It was much better.)
I wrote a power-exchange piece about a young couple in a Ds relationship who were getting married. The "vanilla" wedding was at 2 PM. the bride would be wearing a formal gown with a high neck line to cover the stainless steel collar she was having installed at the 'au natural 10 AM ceremony' that same -- we'll call it Sunday -- morning.
Most of the guests were on both lists. Just the four parents and a couple of siblings were left off of the 10 AM list. But, by mistake, the bridesmaid who sent out all of the invitations sent out cards that invited everyone to both ceremonies. Mistaking 'au natural' for 'casual' or 'come as you are,' both sets of parents, the bride's brother, and groom's sister showed up a bit before 10 AM to a room full of naked people.
Okay, they weren't actually completely naked. The bride had on pumps, an ankle chain, a veil ... oh, ... and thick gold nipple rings. While the groom sported a big stainless steel PA, and a short thick bar through his fren. Several others guests had on leather harnesses, cuffs, chains, armbinders, bicep bands, and thigh bands. Most of the women wore shiny steel collars -- just like the bride to be received -- as the parents, too surprised to react, watched.
The bride's bro' and groom's sis' were not nearly so restrained as their parents. They disrobed and began to make out with one another after the collaring ceremony was complete. Nothing in either family was ever quite the same afterward. (It was much better.)
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sirhugs
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I LOVE naughty wedding stories, and have written a few. This idea sort of reminds me of my A Cumming of Age Nude Wedding
but is just different enough to be different....
sirhugs
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how do we find your stories?
AvroAnsonXIX
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Did you hear about the Priest, the Iman, and the Rabbi who carpooled to the intofaith conference at a Las Vegas strip hotel from El Lay???
Faith and her sisters Hope and Charity hardly came out of thier suite on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Thier mother Grace, who is known for her "pipes," was heard singing "Hallelujah" at the top of her lungs all the way to the elevator bank.
Then Father's cousin's joined in the festivities. Mandy came on Monday, then Fatima on Tuesday, Ashley on Wednesday, and finally Holly on Thursday. By the time the week was done on the next Friday, all was "good," really good.
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Hypoxia
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I have written of actual sisters (neighbors across the street) named Faith, Hope, and Anne. Dad was a diehard Catholic who ran off with a Filipina stewardess while the third was still in utero. Their Mom didn't feel a need to continue his religious naming routine; good thing Anne didn't become Chastity, or have a fourth sister named Generosity.
AvroAnsonXIX
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A few Sundays -- that's ostensibly our theme here -- after the intofaith conference:
Faith did not feel a need to spend money on an "ept," she believed and like mama Grace saw "being late" as a sign of God's love. Her sister Hope, who had also intentionally taken loads from every penis there wasn't sure, but wanted very much to be pregnant. She also wished the same for her sister, and she though how nice it would be if one had a boy and the other a girl.
Charity was already a month pregnant at the orgy, having "begun at home" with her brother Frank. He and cousin Ernest had a long talk in the days after the Lost Wages intofaith conference with Grace. She really was "Amazing," taking an energetic D-P from the boys and asking for more. And it wasn't just because they'd just closed on the purchase of the old Panamint City Opry House in Panamint City, California.
Ashley Oates and Holly Hall would headline the ticket -- billed as "Hall and Oates" obviously -- and "Amazin' Grace" would open. Charity said that in a month or so it would eclipse the Amargosa Opera House over in Death Valley Junction. Then Frank -- Charity's brother and baby-daddy -- could marry his cousin Fatima.
(It's legal in California but not Nevada, but prostitution is legal in Nevada, so go figure.)
Ernest -- Fatima's brother and baby daddy -- could marry his cousin Charity. Quim pro-quo. And so Grace would come to Panamint City. Along with her son, three daughters, four nieces and nephew. There they would raise a new generation to repopulate the desert community.
They could even invite the Preist, the Iman, the Rabbi and the Reverend B. G. Johnson -- who wanted to come before, but had been unable to pull out of a prior obligation -- to come in the future. Inject their personal flavor, in some "very private and personal" services at the Opry house. They would check with Mandy to see if every fourth Monday would work.
Amen and Hallelujah.
Faith did not feel a need to spend money on an "ept," she believed and like mama Grace saw "being late" as a sign of God's love. Her sister Hope, who had also intentionally taken loads from every penis there wasn't sure, but wanted very much to be pregnant. She also wished the same for her sister, and she though how nice it would be if one had a boy and the other a girl.
Charity was already a month pregnant at the orgy, having "begun at home" with her brother Frank. He and cousin Ernest had a long talk in the days after the Lost Wages intofaith conference with Grace. She really was "Amazing," taking an energetic D-P from the boys and asking for more. And it wasn't just because they'd just closed on the purchase of the old Panamint City Opry House in Panamint City, California.
Ashley Oates and Holly Hall would headline the ticket -- billed as "Hall and Oates" obviously -- and "Amazin' Grace" would open. Charity said that in a month or so it would eclipse the Amargosa Opera House over in Death Valley Junction. Then Frank -- Charity's brother and baby-daddy -- could marry his cousin Fatima.
(It's legal in California but not Nevada, but prostitution is legal in Nevada, so go figure.)
Ernest -- Fatima's brother and baby daddy -- could marry his cousin Charity. Quim pro-quo. And so Grace would come to Panamint City. Along with her son, three daughters, four nieces and nephew. There they would raise a new generation to repopulate the desert community.
They could even invite the Preist, the Iman, the Rabbi and the Reverend B. G. Johnson -- who wanted to come before, but had been unable to pull out of a prior obligation -- to come in the future. Inject their personal flavor, in some "very private and personal" services at the Opry house. They would check with Mandy to see if every fourth Monday would work.
Amen and Hallelujah.
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Hypoxia
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Today is celebrated as Easter so a wild community group holds a costumed Easter festival. Siblings sharing a big bunny costume, sis up front, bro behind her, fuck with sweaty abandon. Folks wearing only rabbit-head masks tumble in the bushes, marking the spring fertility rites. Naked dwarves with long ears pop from giant bunny eggs. Et fucking cetera.
AvroAnsonXIX
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Trojan Rabbit? Inside the Trojan Rabbit ...
Penny: "Ugh! Jeez Louise, what is that smell?"
Agamemnon: [sniffing his armpit] "Oh! Ooh. That is the smell of victory."
Mr. Peabody: [Desperately] "Sherman, I absolutely forbid you to fight in the Trojan War!"
Shermanicus: [Defiantly] "Its not fair! All my friends are fighting in the Trojan War."
Agamemnon: "FYI, a lot of heroes have father issues. My old man is a minotaur. Half man, half bull, all judgement. Ajax, here, strongest guy in the world, but his father never accepted that his real dream was to sing."
Ajax: [in falsetto] "I wanted to be in the Greek Chorus."
Agamemnon: "Uh, yeah, and don't even get me started about Oedipus. Let's just say you do *not* want to be at his house over the holidays. It's awkward."
-- Mr. Peabody and Sherman (2014)
sirhugs
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I'dda thunk that a Trojan Rabbit went through a lot of condoms...
