Swingers/Adult clubs

[Maya_Vakker]

I agree. The private clubs and swing parties we went to were clean and safe. The best part is the majority of people are fun even if you don't feel like you could or want to be sexual.
Do have no expectation of picking someone up at a club or party. They are a good way to meet people. As a couple we had dinner out or in before anything ever happened. You have to have someplace you can talk without the blaring music. If you don't set up expectations of some kind things just won't go well. The one time we met a couple we had dinner in a nearby town and both had rooms in the hotel. The outcome was very exciting but still not a full swap. We met them again by chance at the shore the following summer. The only others we met were single women mostly for her.

That’s awesome, and the best way to go about setting everyone up for success. I think of all the times we’ve gone, maybe we’ve played with other couples, single guys, or unicorns 20% of the time. We’ve met people we had no interest in getting with, but who have become good friends. So cool to hear you’re having fun.

 

[R0xyfoxy]

Thats interesting I thought that everyone that went there had to do something sexual and that you were pressure to do it

 

[Maya_Vakker]

Thats interesting I thought that everyone that went there had to do something sexual and that you were pressure to do it

I cannot speak for every club out there, but the ones I have been to, if you feel pressured in anyway just talk to a staff member and the situation gets fixed real fast.

It would be a great question to ask as a first timer to a club. Ask how they deal with overly aggressive people.

Men are usually pretty conservative and are to afraid of getting bounced. It’s just some women who think they can get away with anything they want.

 

[TinaG_2023]

Thats interesting I thought that everyone that went there had to do something sexual and that you were pressure to do it

Not so but you will want to get involved eventually!

 

[LeSabreur]

Thats interesting I thought that everyone that went there had to do something sexual and that you were pressure to do it

Hi Roxy, though I have minimal experience with sex clubs per se, I have plenty with house parties and befriending folks in the swing lifestyle. I also read your profile, and have sympathy for the challenges that your boyfriend faces. He's fortunate indeed to have a loving partner, and I applaud your desire to both accept him as he is and to offer any support that may be possible.

The world is full of assholes, of course, but it's also full of kind, gentle, considerate people. (As a young man, I was always frustrated that it was the assholes who seemed to get all the girls, but I wouldn't trade being kind and gentle for anything). What I have learned is that the world of sexy people is the same as the world in general: there are all sorts, all ages, all political stripes, all body types, and all personalities. In general, anything organized, whether an actual club or an event sponsored by a formal group, is going to have some pretty clear rules about behavior. Now, this isn't to say that will stop every sort of toxic behavior, because plenty of it exists in life even when not obvious (and often when unintended). But I have found that such folks tend to be more easy-going than most, and folks attending smaller parties in particular tend to be more easy-going, accepting, nonjudgmental, and thoughtful. The only time I ever experienced any sort of pressure was from a young woman (she was probably only 20 or so) who was just too eager and had had one too many drink. Other, more mature members would often keep most of their clothing on, would not be participating physically for one reason or another (with no reason needed), and would in general just enjoy a good time. Perhaps it's just by luck, but, as with buying and selling things online, I've found that a bit of conversation generally gives you a pretty good handle on a person's integrity.

Without getting clinical, I won't go into what might be best for you and your significant other, but yes, generally speaking, swing and kink events tend to be more at the "no pressure, no expectations" end of the spectrum, and experienced folks will universally endorse that this philosophy must be uppermost in everyone's mind for people to feel comfortable and enjoy themselves.

I wish you and your man all the best.

 

[Live4themoments]

I posted some stuff on Little Greene's thread previously. As someone previously pointed out, keep things in perspective. Swinger/adult clubs are not like you see in porn so don't expect the people there to be knockout, young, hard bodies, 10" dicks, 36DD tits, and so on. There are of course exceptions but majority are male, average next door looking people, older in age. With that in mind it shouldn't prevent you from going for the experience. The "average" people can be just as erotic and sensual as the porn actors. Your experience with them (if you choose) can be rewarding as long as no previous expectations and trying to find that hot looking couple. Enjoy yourselves.

 

[SweetCookies]

So, this is soemthing I've thought of for a while either solo, or with a male/female support act to go with me! I have had conversations about them in the past but some things seem to be either too good to be true or rather far fetched?

Has anyone had any experience of swingers/sex clubs either solo or as part of a couple/friends... and were they generally positivie experiences, nerve wrecking, seedy or all of the above?

My experience with public clubs is pretty small as my husband and I were lucky enough to be invited to a private local club. I will tell you that first time is very nerve racking as others have mentioned. Not knowing what quite to expect or what you are going to see or be expected to do or act etc. I always recommend going and having a look around and getting a feel for a place you are planning to go to before necessarily engaging in anything sexual. Meet some of the people, see what goes on and how people act and see if you and that place and people mesh.

 

[J_Bone]

Thats interesting I thought that everyone that went there had to do something sexual and that you were pressure to do it

Not at all. In fact, my experience is the opposite. 95% of the people are non-pushy and many of them are new and just getting their feet wet too. And the staff is always helpful and attentive. Basically no expectations for you at all, just your own pace and preferences, at least the ones I've been to.

 

[PersonalFavors]

I cannot speak for every club out there, but the ones I have been to, if you feel pressured in anyway just talk to a staff member and the situation gets fixed real fast.

It would be a great question to ask as a first timer to a club. Ask how they deal with overly aggressive people.

Men are usually pretty conservative and are to afraid of getting bounced. It’s just some women who think they can get away with anything they want.

The thoughts of rejection plays a role too. I let her handle most of the talking at first. We agreed as a couple we would not pimp the other out to get what we want. Our motive for being there was for her to find an opportunity to be intimate with a woman. We visited and entertained friends like this for 2 years or so. I haven't met another woman strong enough to deal with all the situations that can arise. Interesting how it tested our relationship. In the end made us stronger as a couple. I was thankful we were not looking for another male, but enjoyed being able to see them at the clubs. Being in the larger room was educational for me. We thought we had tried everything once. Feeling my lover support and encourage me the one time I did have sex with one of her friends was a very powerful experience. We never entertained another man as third.

 

[PersonalFavors]

These experiences are something you rarely talk about. But something I think about all these years later. Mostly my imagination and thoughts of what it would be like to join married neighbors as a third. Probably just lust for milf. But I do wonder if he's doing it right or if she gives good head.
I hope you can find someone to explore with as a team. I really do feel I was better at sex after these experiences and do find the erotic enhancement delightful. Yet, I have still not been able to replace that something that is there when it is love that creates the bond. Like now that way her gentle hand holds my butt to still me as we both enjoy her climax. Familiar works for me too.

 

[Stromer]

That’s not exactly what it’s like, at least here in the PNW. The venues are very clean. The sheets are changed after every use, and the mattresses are sanitized; they have plastic covers. The clubs are staffed by either paid employees or volunteers who take care of all the cleaning. The rooms are not really tucked away. You can get a private room, or play in game rooms. Or very large open area spaces.

As far as hooking up, well, if you go with expectations you might be disappointed. A lot of people go just for the atmosphere, dancing, meeting like minded friends, or to fulfill a kink such as public sex, exhibitionism, or voyeurism.

I understand you’re not being judgmental, I’m just offering a little more insight as to what it’s really like.

We have only been to a few clubs, and that was our experience as well. Single females were welcomed, but single males had to be sponsored by a couple and could only attend with the sponsoring couple for a one year period. Any complaints about the single male was an immediate suspension of his and the couples membership.