Talk-Back on May-December Relationships....

[tigerjen]

Yes, this warm weather here gets many of us in a romantical mood.....
Quite a while back I started a thead about my crush who is 22 years
older than me.......and today I will start a thread on discussing the
concept of.....

May-December Relationships!

Whether its older man/younger woman, or older woman/younger man,
this is where its at!

I will be setting up a poll as well....so don't forget to participate in
the poll, and post away!


tigerjen

 

[ima6uldv8]

I didn't answer the pole. Normally, I would have said age is just a number. I still feel that way to a certain extent. However, after all that happened with me last year, I'll think long and hard before I get involved with another older man. I realise health can be an issue for any age but the risk gets higher with age. My heart can't take another experience like that. I'm not trying to discourage you or put a damper on your excitement at all. Just wanted you to be aware.

 

[tigerjen]

I didn't answer the pole. Normally, I would have said age is just a number. I still feel that way to a certain extent. However, after all that happened with me last year, I'll think long and hard before I get involved with another older man. I realise health can be an issue for any age but the risk gets higher with age. My heart can't take another experience like that. I'm not trying to discourage you or put a damper on your excitement at all. Just wanted you to be aware.

hi! I do remember you telling me that on my other thread, and I do realize
that health risks rise as one gets older, but of course it depends on how well that individual takes care of themselves......its good advice to keep in mind though

thank you for stopping by here though! now I am sure that there are others
out there looking to post/take the poll here.......

 

[tigerjen]

Tgif!

 

[Gracie29]

Personally, I think that age is just a number - most of the relationships I've been in - the guy has been at least 10-14 years older than I am. I don't actively go looking for older men, that's just the way it seems to happen. For me - it's personality that draws me in. I could care less about how old the person actually is.

TJ, hope your crush moves beyond just a crush

 

[Sassyfrass]

I always seemed to go for *older* guys too....even in High School I was dating guys 4-6 yr. older than I.....
I met my husband when I was 19...he was 31
We've been together 26yr. (7-11-81).....

Edited to add....I voted "Depends on the People involved"

 

[poppy1963]

I voted...depends on the two people involved. But the only way to find out is to "go for it" if you are so inclined towards another.

People go into such relationships for lots of different reasons...some they aren't even real "conscious" of at first. At least that's what I think! If you find yourself striving to "change" the other in some way...then perhaps the reasons are not "complimentary". If you find yourselves just mostly enjoying each other...YAY!

 

[tigerjen]

Personally, I think that age is just a number - most of the relationships I've been in - the guy has been at least 10-14 years older than I am. I don't actively go looking for older men, that's just the way it seems to happen. For me - it's personality that draws me in. I could care less about how old the person actually is.
TJ, hope your crush moves beyond just a crush

hi Gracie!
a man's personality is like a window.....that's how my crush is, as
what attracted to me to him first was how he has a good heart. I do
hope it moves beyond a crush too......I feel that with him I need more
face time w/ him and be friends first----I usually throw myself into
a man, but for some reason I can't with him........

 

[tigerjen]

I always seemed to go for *older* guys too....even in High School I was dating guys 4-6 yr. older than I.....
I met my husband when I was 19...he was 31
We've been together 26yr. (7-11-81).....

Edited to add....I voted "Depends on the People involved"

WOW.....that's wonderful! 26 years together......
How funny you brought up dating guys in high school....my
first h.s. boyfriend was a senior and I was a freshman, but we
started off friends as we were in the same Spanish class heehee

great to see you, Sassy!

 

[tigerjen]

I voted...depends on the two people involved. But the only way to find out is to "go for it" if you are so inclined towards another.

People go into such relationships for lots of different reasons...some they aren't even real "conscious" of at first. At least that's what I think! If you find yourself striving to "change" the other in some way...then perhaps the reasons are not "complimentary". If you find yourselves just mostly enjoying each other...YAY!

you're not the only one who said the way to find out is to "go for it"
i don't want to change this person who I have a crush on at all, though
I am sure he has some flaws like the next person.......

 

[elusive_buttrfly]

This is totally ironic Jen, but I'll be 33 in July and my crush will be 49 next month. He's a beautiful man, intelligent and with a huge heart. Ironically again, he's from CT. LOL I've always been attracted to older men.

 

[tigerjen]

This is totally ironic Jen, but I'll be 33 in July and my crush will be 49 next month. He's a beautiful man, intelligent and with a huge heart. Ironically again, he's from CT. LOL I've always been attracted to older men.

small world I suppose! you and I are in the same boat!
my crush is 55 years young though

 

[poppy1963]

you're not the only one who said the way to find out is to "go for it"
i don't want to change this person who I have a crush on at all, though
I am sure he has some flaws like the next person.......

Sure! We all have flaws. Some of our partners' we try to change - like which way to hang the toilet paper or do you roll or just squeeze that toothpaste.

I'm talking if you find out your "crush" has strong opinions on life matters that you don't agree with to the point you can't tolerate them holding on to these ideas. So you try to change them or they you. Sometimes I've found that such differences CAN be more a part of May/December couplings as we all change as we age...a LOT sometimes. The passions of youth are replaced with the patience/tolerance of saging. Sometimes the Mays have a very hard time with the fact that the Decembers won't take a hardline stance on everything...that they choose their battles.

BUT....hee hee...I digress into some personal experiences here. That is just one example~! On with the topic at hand!

 

[Diamond_Girl]

Hi TJ!

DiamondJim is nearly 22 years older than I am; he's 55 (56 in 9 days) to my 34. At first, both of us were really sensitive about the age thing; he's got grandkids, for goodness sake! However, the more time we spend together, the more the years between us just melt away. He's very grounded, which I find attractive, but he really knows how to have fun. He likes my own maturity, as well as my joie de vivre. We're both matched in passion, heart, romanticism and beliefs. I won't clog your thread with all the mushy stuff that makes us work, but suffice it to say we complement each other quite well. Yeah, he's got a flaw or two. If I were to change any one thing about him, I'd get his butt in the kitchen to help fix dinners every now and then. However, I'm not his wife, so I don't have to put up with it. We've found our emotional maturity makes it possible for our relationship to grow and thrive given both of our current situations, too, with no real desire or plans to alter them.

 

[Gracie29]

hi Gracie!
a man's personality is like a window.....that's how my crush is, as
what attracted to me to him first was how he has a good heart. I do
hope it moves beyond a crush too......I feel that with him I need more
face time w/ him and be friends first----I usually throw myself into
a man, but for some reason I can't with him........

Maybe a part of you senses that this man could be the real thing - it already sounds like he's important to you - and that's why you're needing to take it slow . . . which I think is a good thing because friendship first gives the relationship a good foundation to build on. Then again . . . don't listen to me - I suck at relationships

 

[tigerjen]

Sure! We all have flaws. Some of our partners' we try to change - like which way to hang the toilet paper or do you roll or just squeeze that toothpaste.

I'm talking if you find out your "crush" has strong opinions on life matters that you don't agree with to the point you can't tolerate them holding on to these ideas. So you try to change them or they you. Sometimes I've found that such differences CAN be more a part of May/December couplings as we all change as we age...a LOT sometimes. The passions of youth are replaced with the patience/tolerance of saging. Sometimes the Mays have a very hard time with the fact that the Decembers won't take a hardline stance on everything...that they choose their battles.

BUT....hee hee...I digress into some personal experiences here. That is just one example~! On with the topic at hand!

Oh I am sure that my crush and I have differing views on many things, but I am sure that we also agree on some things as well. I always have had this belief in a "perfect" couple type of thingy but its not true.......maybe its because I've only had two serious relationships in my life, my last one that lasted 3 1/2 years was in college........its been 10 years for me......sure I've seen guys but nothing serious came of it......

 

[tigerjen]

Hi TJ!

DiamondJim is nearly 22 years older than I am; he's 55 (56 in 9 days) to my 34. At first, both of us were really sensitive about the age thing; he's got grandkids, for goodness sake! However, the more time we spend together, the more the years between us just melt away. He's very grounded, which I find attractive, but he really knows how to have fun. He likes my own maturity, as well as my joie de vivre. We're both matched in passion, heart, romanticism and beliefs. I won't clog your thread with all the mushy stuff that makes us work, but suffice it to say we complement each other quite well. Yeah, he's got a flaw or two. If I were to change any one thing about him, I'd get his butt in the kitchen to help fix dinners every now and then. However, I'm not his wife, so I don't have to put up with it. We've found our emotional maturity makes it possible for our relationship to grow and thrive given both of our current situations, too, with no real desire or plans to alter them.

Awwwwwwww I like mushy stuff! Hehehhehee you have to drag him into the kitchen to help fix dinner sometimes? I see it now......

 

[tigerjen]

Maybe a part of you senses that this man could be the real thing - it already sounds like he's important to you - and that's why you're needing to take it slow . . . which I think is a good thing because friendship first gives the relationship a good foundation to build on. Then again . . . don't listen to me - I suck at relationships

actually that was very good advice....friendship first, then if it turns into
more, great! It's an interesting situation w/ my crush, because I only
see him once a month at our DTC meetings---I think he's important to me
because him and I seem to be woven out of the same cloth in terms of
interests and such. I know him and I have differences, I'm sure, but I
want to get to know him better, beyond DTC and all that jazz.......

 

[Bowlerpa]

I think age is just a number, I mean if you love someone then you love them. I mean I had a thing with an older woman and I did not even think about here age, I was interested in her personality and her being herself. I hope I made sense of what I was trying to say.

 

[tigerjen]

I think age is just a number, I mean if you love someone then you love them. I mean I had a thing with an older woman and I did not even think about here age, I was interested in her personality and her being herself. I hope I made sense of what I was trying to say.

I think you did....age is only a number, and being oneself definitely can
go a long way.......

 

[CoolCucumber]

I think age is just a number, you're only really as old as you feel. As for me, I'm a 28 yr. old male, and I have a mutual flirtation with a co-worker who's 43. We both enjoy teasing the bejesus out of each other. We've talked about it over lunch, how excited she gets getting the attention from me, how sexy she feels when pushing my buttons. Maybe it's the effort to flirt without attracting attention? Who knows. It makes work interesting.

-CoolCucumber

 

[melb_lad62]

Age is just a number, but it does depend on the 2 individuals.

G'day all,

My lady & I have been together for 20yrs, (she is also 20yrs my senior.).

Things have been a bit harder for us in the last 3 months, but every relationship is different. Despite what we are going through now, I wouldn't have changed the past 20yrs.

Dave

 

[tigerjen]

I think age is just a number, you're only really as old as you feel. As for me, I'm a 28 yr. old male, and I have a mutual flirtation with a co-worker who's 43. We both enjoy teasing the bejesus out of each other. We've talked about it over lunch, how excited she gets getting the attention from me, how sexy she feels when pushing my buttons. Maybe it's the effort to flirt without attracting attention? Who knows. It makes work interesting.

-CoolCucumber

hi CC! I agree 101 percent w/ you w/ the fact that one is really as old
as one feels....its true! I only turned 33 earlier this month and I don't
feel it at all.
sounds like you have a fun situation w/ your co-worker......

 

[tigerjen]

G'day all,
My lady & I have been together for 20yrs, (she is also 20yrs my senior.).
Things have been a bit harder for us in the last 3 months, but every relationship is different. Despite what we are going through now, I wouldn't have changed the past 20yrs.

Dave

Hi Dave.......I admire how you two have been together for 20 years, I do
hope that you and her get through the rough spots.......

 

[Sassyfrass]

WOW.....that's wonderful! 26 years together......
How funny you brought up dating guys in high school....my
first h.s. boyfriend was a senior and I was a freshman, but we
started off friends as we were in the same Spanish class heehee

great to see you, Sassy!

Are you missing Survivor Jen ?.....Thursdays just aren't the same........
Are you going to watch that Pirate show ?