Tan's Tittie Bar
- Thread starter TANSTAAFL58
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oldnotdead47
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My favorite bar joke
A man takes a seat at the bar and orders a beer. He hears a voice whisper, "Mmm, you sure look good today". He turns around but nobody is there ! The bartender delivers a beer, and as he takes a drink he hears "Mmmm, those pants really look good on you!" Again, nobody there. He calls over the bartender and asks why he is hearing voices. The bartender answers:
"Oh, it's the peanuts. They are complimentary"
Everyone stay well.
A man takes a seat at the bar and orders a beer. He hears a voice whisper, "Mmm, you sure look good today". He turns around but nobody is there ! The bartender delivers a beer, and as he takes a drink he hears "Mmmm, those pants really look good on you!" Again, nobody there. He calls over the bartender and asks why he is hearing voices. The bartender answers:
"Oh, it's the peanuts. They are complimentary"
Everyone stay well.
S
sarabliss380
Guest
Glad you like it Mike 
SB
SB
Best Bar Joke #1 ...
A guy walks into a bar, and sees two things immediately: First, a sign that says "Handjobs $10 - Cheese Sandwiches $2". Second, a gorgeous redhead standing behind the bar, eyeballing him. He walks up to the bar, looks the redhead in the eye, and asks "Are you the one that gives those ten dollar handjobs?"
She smiles seductively, and says, in a very sexy voice, Why yes - yes I am."
The guy smiles back, and says "Would you please go wash your hands, and then make me a cheese sandwich?"
A guy walks into a bar, and sees two things immediately: First, a sign that says "Handjobs $10 - Cheese Sandwiches $2". Second, a gorgeous redhead standing behind the bar, eyeballing him. He walks up to the bar, looks the redhead in the eye, and asks "Are you the one that gives those ten dollar handjobs?"
She smiles seductively, and says, in a very sexy voice, Why yes - yes I am."
The guy smiles back, and says "Would you please go wash your hands, and then make me a cheese sandwich?"
Best Bar Joke #2 ..
A smallish, twitchy guy walks into a bar with his dog. They walk over to the bar, and the dog hops up onto a stool. The bartender walks over to the guy, and says "We don't serve dogs in here."
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog. He can talk."
The bartender eyes the guy suspiciously.
The guy says to the dog, "Dog - What's on top of this building that keeps the rain out?"
The dog goes, "ROOF!"
The guy looks at the bartender hopefully. The bartender grimaces. The guy twitches, and then turns to the dog again. "Dog," he says, "Aside from Mary, who is the most important woman in the Bible?"
The dog goes "ROOF!"
Again, the guy looks at the bartender. This time, the bartender scowls at the guy, and he starts to sweat. The guy again turns to the dog again, and says, " Dog - who is the greatest baseball player of all time?"
The dog, again, says "ROOF!"
The bartender points to the door. "Get out," he says, "or I'll come across this bar and pound the crap out of you."
The dog hops down from the stool, and the guy and the dog leave the bar. Once they get outside, the dog looks up at the guy and says, "Hey, should I have said Ty Cobb for that last one?"
A smallish, twitchy guy walks into a bar with his dog. They walk over to the bar, and the dog hops up onto a stool. The bartender walks over to the guy, and says "We don't serve dogs in here."
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog. He can talk."
The bartender eyes the guy suspiciously.
The guy says to the dog, "Dog - What's on top of this building that keeps the rain out?"
The dog goes, "ROOF!"
The guy looks at the bartender hopefully. The bartender grimaces. The guy twitches, and then turns to the dog again. "Dog," he says, "Aside from Mary, who is the most important woman in the Bible?"
The dog goes "ROOF!"
Again, the guy looks at the bartender. This time, the bartender scowls at the guy, and he starts to sweat. The guy again turns to the dog again, and says, " Dog - who is the greatest baseball player of all time?"
The dog, again, says "ROOF!"
The bartender points to the door. "Get out," he says, "or I'll come across this bar and pound the crap out of you."
The dog hops down from the stool, and the guy and the dog leave the bar. Once they get outside, the dog looks up at the guy and says, "Hey, should I have said Ty Cobb for that last one?"
Justadesperatewifeandmom
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Sounds like fun Tan.
A women walks into a bar and says, "Give me an entendre. Make it a double."
So the bartender gives it to her.
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, “That’s amazing. Where did he come from?” The friend pulls out an old lamp and tells him the genie inside will grant him one wish. The man rubs the bottle, and to his amazement, a puff of purple smoke spews out and slowly collects in the form of a genie. In a booming voice the genie tells the man he has but one wish.
The man thinks and says, “I wish I had a million bucks.” All of a sudden the bar is filled with ducks, bursting from the door and the windows, standing on top of the bar, dunking their heads into people’s drinks.
“What just happened?!” the guy asks. His friend replies, “I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?”
A women walks into a bar and says, "Give me an entendre. Make it a double."
So the bartender gives it to her.
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, “That’s amazing. Where did he come from?” The friend pulls out an old lamp and tells him the genie inside will grant him one wish. The man rubs the bottle, and to his amazement, a puff of purple smoke spews out and slowly collects in the form of a genie. In a booming voice the genie tells the man he has but one wish.
The man thinks and says, “I wish I had a million bucks.” All of a sudden the bar is filled with ducks, bursting from the door and the windows, standing on top of the bar, dunking their heads into people’s drinks.
“What just happened?!” the guy asks. His friend replies, “I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?”
jt1500
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All I can say is wow.
Piercedfreak
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Very sexy
Piercedfreak
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Anyway, Work From Home Bra, Zoom Bra, and what not joke aside.
I do like lace and a lighter cup.
Wow. Love it
AngelicaS1780
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A minister, a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit looks around and says, "I think I'm a typo!"
These two made me giggle.
Moochienanu
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AngelicaS1780
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nowisthetime
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Here goes nothing. I took this on Easter day. Pink, pink, and more pink!
Took the second one sometime ago.
Took the second one sometime ago.
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AngelicaS1780
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S
sarabliss380
Guest
I suddenly wish to have some whiskey poured over you and use my mouth to work those breasts so much
SB
SB
Beardpositive77
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Since I am no longer ever home alone, you'll have to take a repost, Tan.
This was just some silliness when I was shooting a different whisky and titties pic.
Definitely two things one would find at a tittie bar.
That's a neat trick, have to get the ladies too do that @ the next party.
Here goes nothing. I took this on Easter day. Pink, pink, and more pink!
Took the second one sometime ago.
Very Nice indeed.
I cannot imagine a better way to be served a scotch ...Since I am no longer ever home alone, you'll have to take a repost, Tan.
This was just some silliness when I was shooting a different whisky and titties pic.
Definitely two things one would find at a tittie bar.
draconus_infernus
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Since I am no longer ever home alone, you'll have to take a repost, Tan.
This was just some silliness when I was shooting a different whisky and titties pic.
Definitely two things one would find at a tittie bar.
It’s too bad I’m a teetotaler. Titty-totaler?
HotChef1970
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Damn I was going to post that joke.
Actually damn that is a mighty fine video with such a beautiful ending, hope that you are keeping as safe as possible during these times
HotChef1970
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I hope this joke translates for my non British friends?
I was going to post one about an Englishman, Irishman & a Scots man in a bar but thought this one is better.
A strip of tarmac goes into the pub and orders a pint.
After serving him, the barman asks if he wants to join his mate in the corner.
Sitting in the corner is a strip of red tarmac. The strip of tarmac shakes his head violently: "I'm not going near him" it says, "he's a cyclepath!"
Anyway I’ll take my ass and sit it down in the corner
https://imgur.com/hEfE1zR
Ah go on you can have the other joke too then
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They all sit next to each other at the bar, and all three order a pint of Guinness.
Right as they get their pints, a fly lands in each one's drink.
The Englishman turns up his nose disgustedly, and pushes the glass away.
The Scott picks the fly out of his stout, throws it over his shoulder, and begins drinking.
And our Irishman picks the fly out of his drink, holds it by its soaked little wings over his glass, and yells, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT YOU SON OF A BISCUIT!"
I’ll get my coat!
I was going to post one about an Englishman, Irishman & a Scots man in a bar but thought this one is better.
A strip of tarmac goes into the pub and orders a pint.
After serving him, the barman asks if he wants to join his mate in the corner.
Sitting in the corner is a strip of red tarmac. The strip of tarmac shakes his head violently: "I'm not going near him" it says, "he's a cyclepath!"
Anyway I’ll take my ass and sit it down in the corner
https://imgur.com/hEfE1zR
Ah go on you can have the other joke too then
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They all sit next to each other at the bar, and all three order a pint of Guinness.
Right as they get their pints, a fly lands in each one's drink.
The Englishman turns up his nose disgustedly, and pushes the glass away.
The Scott picks the fly out of his stout, throws it over his shoulder, and begins drinking.
And our Irishman picks the fly out of his drink, holds it by its soaked little wings over his glass, and yells, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT YOU SON OF A BISCUIT!"
I’ll get my coat!
Last edited:
TANSTAAFL58
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Thank you all for stopping by. This looks like it may just work
So far we have lots of exposed flesh, hot chicks in lingerie, gents baring furry bits, a boob flash (thanks Moochie) and at least one official cocktail. We'll call it the Highland Double: A shot of neat Scotch served between boobies.
Anybody have an alternate tittie bar cocktail? Maybe something rum-based?
Appleton's
The lack of privacy is causing all sorts of trouble for us pervs, and there are lots of, uh, "classics" being posted, but that's cool, bring it on. Classic jokes, classic naughty bits. I like it.
Two guys walk into their regular bar and immediately notice there is meat all over the ceiling. They walk up to the bar and the bartender says "Hi guys, We're a casino now, Would you like to place a bet?"
One guy turns to leave and says "No thanks, the steaks are too high."
So far we have lots of exposed flesh, hot chicks in lingerie, gents baring furry bits, a boob flash (thanks Moochie) and at least one official cocktail. We'll call it the Highland Double: A shot of neat Scotch served between boobies.
Anybody have an alternate tittie bar cocktail? Maybe something rum-based?
Appleton's
The lack of privacy is causing all sorts of trouble for us pervs, and there are lots of, uh, "classics" being posted, but that's cool, bring it on. Classic jokes, classic naughty bits. I like it.
Two guys walk into their regular bar and immediately notice there is meat all over the ceiling. They walk up to the bar and the bartender says "Hi guys, We're a casino now, Would you like to place a bet?"
One guy turns to leave and says "No thanks, the steaks are too high."
missswannie
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I expect there will be a lot of bathroom and shower selfies, and hopefully a few scenery shots as people start to get movement in different countries. There are creativity opportunities in rushed occasions so flash the bar, and the bartender might ring the bell for a round on the house. Fast flash week next week?
