Tan's Tittie Bar

[AngelicaS1780]

I suddenly wish to have some whiskey poured over you and use my mouth to work those breasts so much

Happy to have inspired such thoughts. It has been far too long since I have felt a woman's mouth on my body.

That's a neat trick, have to get the ladies too do that @ the next party.

I think I might like your parties.

I cannot imagine a better way to be served a scotch ...

It would be my pleasure, my Scotch sipping friend.

It’s too bad I’m a teetotaler. Titty-totaler?

Substitute your beverage of choice.

I hope this joke translates for my non British friends?
I was going to post one about an Englishman, Irishman & a Scots man in a bar but thought this one is better.
A strip of tarmac goes into the pub and orders a pint.
After serving him, the barman asks if he wants to join his mate in the corner.
Sitting in the corner is a strip of red tarmac. The strip of tarmac shakes his head violently: "I'm not going near him" it says, "he's a cyclepath!"
Anyway I’ll take my ass and sit it down in the corner
https://imgur.com/hEfE1zR

Enjoyed both the joke and the ass.

 

[Beardpositive77]

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink, but the bartender yells at him to get out before he stinks up the place. The mushroom looks taken aback and says, “Why? I’m a fun guy.”

Paying my bar tab and returning the favor to each one of you gorgeous ladies.

 

[Firecracker]

A piece of string walks into a bar and walks up to the counter.

The bartender says, "Sorry pal, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."

Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself up and tussles his hair.

He walks back into the bar and approaches the counter. The bartender says, "Wait a second. You look kinda familiar ... aren't you that piece of string that was just here?"

"Nope," says the piece of string, "I'm a frayed knot."

 

[Lastingimpressions]

A piece of string walks into a bar and walks up to the counter.

The bartender says, "Sorry pal, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."

Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself up and tussles his hair.

He walks back into the bar and approaches the counter. The bartender says, "Wait a second. You look kinda familiar ... aren't you that piece of string that was just here?"

"Nope," says the piece of string, "I'm a frayed knot."

You have added to my repertoire of Dad jokes. Thank You.
Now off to annoy my kids!

 

[Joxlrg]

BAHAHAHAHA.. I am so stealing that one

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Thanks FC and Beardpositive. The last two are among my favourite dad jokes. Here's another.

Two drunks get thrown out of a pub. They are standing on the sidewalk trying to figure out where the next nearest pub is. They spot a lion walking down the street.

Fearlessly one of the drunks approaches the beast.

"Hey, lion, are you on the run?"

"Yes. I just escaped from the City Zoo" says the lion.

The drunk whispers in the lion's ear. the lion thinks for a second and whispers something back. The drunk nods and gestures to his buddy.

"Hop on" He says

They climb on the lion and off they go. In a couple of minutes they are outside a bar. They climb off.

"Thanks Lion." Says the drunk, scratching him behind the ears.

"Glad to be of service." says the Lion, and he wanders off.

"That's great." Says the second drunk. "How did you know to ask the beast?"

"Oh, that's mathematics." Says the first drunk.

"Mathematics?"

"Yes, basic geometry." He says [sorry folks] "The shortest distance between two pints is a strayed lion"

 

[Todger65]

As told by my Irish friend.

Paddy and Seamus are working on a building site, erecting houses.

One day paddy says to Seamus, “Seamus, we’ve run out of bricks and only just up over the windows, whatever will we do?”

Seamus replies, “Ah bejesus, just ‘bung a low’ roof on it.”

Now you know why they are called Bungalows.



Paddy and Seamus still on a building site. Seamus is showing a buyer around the upstairs. Seamus keeps looking out the window and shouting, ‘green side up’.

After seeing Seamus do this several time, the buyer asks, “Why do you keep shouting ‘green side up’?

“Well Paddy is laying the turf in the garden,” says Seamus.

 

[fishnfool]

Can leaves be bras?

Can leaves be lingerie?

SB

Let’s ask the judges.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Can leaves be lingerie?

SB

Let’s ask the judges.

That seems to fit the general requirements. Can you come back in the fall...

 

[nowisthetime]

Another pic , not trying to pic hog, here.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Another pic , not trying to pic hog, here.

First, may I say "hubba hubba". Post all you want. Upper Management will tell you if you're posting too muck.

I'll just be in the office tying the manager to her desk...because, you know, naughty bits...

 

[Mtnmike]

Another pic , not trying to pic hog, here.

Love those Beauties, truly blessed.

 

[sarabliss380]

Hey guys (and gals). I lost my hubby to the virus today and have had my thread removed and will not be posting more.

Have a blessed day,

SB

Thanks Tan for the forum to post.

 

[Miles954]

Sooo sorry. Soo sorry.

 

[RalphKing]

Mrs King is asking if there is a swim up bar section and if they can mix up a Peñis Colada?

 

[NomDePlay]

Another pic , not trying to pic hog, here.

I do not think anyone is going to mind seeing more pictures of you, lioness ..

.. I know I won't ...

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Farewell Sara Sorry for your loss.

Farewell Ralph

****

 

[Moochienanu]

Hey guys (and gals). I lost my hubby to the virus today and have had my thread removed and will not be posting more.

Have a blessed day,

SB

Thanks Tan for the forum to post.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, SB.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I expect there will be a lot of bathroom and shower selfies, and hopefully a few scenery shots as people start to get movement in different countries. There are creativity opportunities in rushed occasions so flash the bar, and the bartender might ring the bell for a round on the house. Fast flash week next week?

Sign for above the bar:

https://cdn012.**********/uploads/photos/2020/04/46034/bdsmlr-46034-jm28J9VGpX.jpg

Flash the Bar week starts today.

Flash the bar and order a drink or tell us another dad joke.

Flash

We need a bar band, These guys are okay. They may have a future

Bar Band

 

[Awaywego]

Room for 2?

1. An Australian guy walks into a bar.

2. I'm in. Ante up. I can't remember when I wore a bra last so call it a Covid bra for the times.

I will wash your ________ at your request!

 

[Moochienanu]

Sign for above the bar:

https://cdn012.**********/uploads/photos/2020/04/46034/bdsmlr-46034-jm28J9VGpX.jpg

Flash the Bar week starts today.

Flash the bar and order a drink or tell us another dad joke.

Flash

We need a bar band, These guys are okay. They may have a future

Bar Band

I’m a big fan of your sign... I’ll hope I inspire the first with THIS...

But just in case, here’s a recipe for Angry Balls:

1-2 shots cinnamon whiskey (ala Fireball)
1 bottle hard cider (Angry Orchard preferred for name)
Serve chilled in a pint glass

And in case those two don’t work, a joke:

An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: “You mathematicians don’t know your limits.”

 

[nowisthetime]

Thank you, guys! Here a couple more.

 

[Piercedfreak]

Thank you, guys! Here a couple more.

Wow. That is very sexy

 

[Mtnmike]

Mrs King is asking if there is a swim up bar section and if they can mix up a Peñis Colada?

I'll fix her anything she wants if she will swim up like that.

 

[Mtnmike]

Hey guys (and gals). I lost my hubby to the virus today and have had my thread removed and will not be posting more.

Have a blessed day,

SB

Thanks Tan for the forum to post.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.