The AH Coffee Shop and Reading Room 09

[MillieDynamite]

Coffee, hurry please, must wake up and return to writing.

 

[JuanSeiszFitzHall]

Time to wrap presents, source a few more, take family to the theatre, possibly even a panto,

So Christmas pantomimes still exist in the U.K.? I'll start: "Oh no they don't!" Your turn.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

So Christmas pantomimes still exist in the U.K.? I'll start: "Oh no they don't!" Your turn.

Oh yes they do... (Watch out for @Duleigh - he's behind you!)

Though, I bet you a pound you're not here.

 

[JuanSeiszFitzHall]

Oh yes they do... (Watch out for @Duleigh - he's behind you!)

Though, I bet you a pound you're not here.

Thanks. We can be done now.

 

[MillieDynamite]

The best we can hope for with AI....

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Thanks. We can be done now.

Oh no we...

For the uninitiated, a summary:
I bet you're not here. You're not in Wetwang, are you? No... And you're not in Cockermouth, are you? No... Well, if you're not in Wetwang, and you're not in Cockermouth, you must be somewhere else. Yes... Well, if you're somewhere else, then you're not here! B'dum tish, panto dame grabs pound note and flounces off to applause.

Other local place names can be used if they sound sufficiently rude.

 

[Duleigh]

Oh no we...

For the uninitiated, a summary:
I bet you're not here. You're not in Wetwang, are you? No... And you're not in Cockermouth, are you? No... Well, if you're not in Wetwang, and you're not in Cockermouth, you must be somewhere else. Yes... Well, if you're somewhere else, then you're not here! B'dum tish, panto dame grabs pound note and flounces off to applause.

Other local place names can be used if they sound sufficiently rude.

I just checked, I'm not in Bald Knob nor am I in Spread Eagle... but I must be Somewhere!

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I just checked, I'm not in Bald Knob nor am I in Spread Eagle... but I must be Somewhere!

Climax, Colorado? Or Grand Tetons? I've exhausted my range of US dirty-sounding place names, now. Maybe that's why panto never took off there? Nothing to do with the drag and innuendo, just the Puritan settlers leaving out places like Twatt, Gropecunt Lane, Marshy Bottom, Shitterton and Sandy Balls, when giving locations unoriginal names like Norfolk, York, Boston, Plymouth, Cambridge, etc.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Dildo, Newfoundland!

 

[Duleigh]

Climax, Colorado? Or Grand Tetons? I've exhausted my range of US dirty-sounding place names, now. Maybe that's why panto never took off there? Nothing to do with the drag and innuendo, just the Puritan settlers leaving out places like Twatt, Gropecunt Lane, Marshy Bottom, Shitterton and Sandy Balls, when giving locations unoriginal names like Norfolk, York, Boston, Plymouth, Cambridge, etc.

Oh, we have plenty of racy names:
Buttzville (New Jersey... of course)
Pleasure Point (California)
Licking (Indiana)
Dick Johnson (Indiana FTW with a double inuendo!)
Blue Ball (Pennsylvania)
Intercourse (Pennsylvania... those quakers!)
Plentywood (Montana)
Bangs (Texas)
Weed (California... of course)
Ballville (Ohio)
Ballplay (ALabama)
Blowing Rock (North Carolina)
Three Way Arizona (Arizona)
Dickshooter (Idaho)
Wankers Corner (Oregon)
Sugar Tit (South Carolina)
Sugar Bush (New York)
Blue Ball Village (Maryland - the unhappiest place on earth)

 

[Smuttyandfun]

A few funny ones from north of the border:

Come by Chance Newfoundland
Blow Me Down Newfoundland
Climax, Saskatchewan
Spread Eagle Bay Newfoundland - apparently has a great view of Dildo!
Dildo Newfoundland
Conception Bay, Newfoundland
Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! Quebec
Balls Creek, Nova Scotia
Punkeydoodles Corners Ontario
Ball's Falls Ontario
Crotch Lake Ontario
Finger Manitoba
Big Beaver Saskatchewan
Urin Saskatchewan
Stoner British Columbia

How can you tell I'm stuck on my latest story.

 

[Duleigh]

A few funny ones from north of the border:

Come by Chance Newfoundland
Blow Me Down Newfoundland
Climax, Saskatchewan
Spread Eagle Bay Newfoundland - apparently has a great view of Dildo!
Dildo Newfoundland
Conception Bay, Newfoundland
Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! Quebec
Balls Creek, Nova Scotia
Punkeydoodles Corners Ontario
Ball's Falls Ontario
Crotch Lake Ontario
Finger Manitoba
Big Beaver Saskatchewan
Urin Saskatchewan
Stoner British Columbia

How can you tell I'm stuck on my latest story.

I used Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! Quebec in a story. A Ha! Ha! is actually a type of wall.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

I used Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! Quebec in a story. A Ha! Ha! is actually a type of wall.

I've always thought it must be funny to live there if you have to give out your address.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Names aside, I just rewatched that great-name-studded 1974 Murder on the Orient Express. Now, Mr D, that was a train!

 

[Candy_Kane54]

I've got a fresh pot of coffee brewing and some shortbread cookies on the counter. The teapot is hot for those who want a cuppa.

I'll be over in the corner working on my story and hopefully make some progress on it.

The jihad against the top list for Lesbian Sex stories continues. You can tell just from looking at the votes that it is being manipulated. The highest score is held by stories that have multiple thousands of votes because it takes a lot of votes to lower the score of a story that has more than 5000 votes. If the scores were normally distributed, you'd see top scores with just over a hundred votes and a lot of those have fallen off the list entirely.

 

[NotWise]

I've got a fresh pot of coffee brewing and some shortbread cookies on the counter. The teapot is hot for those who want a cuppa.

I'll be over in the corner working on my story and hopefully make some progress on it.

The jihad against the top list for Lesbian Sex stories continues. You can tell just from looking at the votes that it is being manipulated. The highest score is held by stories that have multiple thousands of votes because it takes a lot of votes to lower the score of a story that has more than 5000 votes. If the scores were normally distributed, you'd see top scores with just over a hundred votes and a lot of those have fallen off the list entirely.

Something similar is going on in the Romance top list. My story there has seen a lot of activity lately and the score dropped another 0.01 today. After having a mostly stable score for years, it's drifted down by 0.03 since late October. I haven't checked, but that could mean nearly dropping off the list.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I'm about to go to the doctor for one more check-up. I think he'll give me an almost, but not quite, clean bill of health. Seeya later, friends!

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I've always thought it must be funny to live there if you have to give out your address.

Must be a right pain with computerised systems. Bad enough with name fields that can't deal with hyphens, spaces or apostrophes (hi, plane boarding card software from the 60s!), but I bet even more don't expect punctuation in the address beyond full stops and hyphens. I think residents of Westward Ho! in Cornwall just leave off the exclamation mark.

A ha-ha is a wall that functions as a barrier but isnt visible on at least one side, usually being put in a ditch. Mostly so as not to spoil the view, rather than for defence. Common on the boundaries of landed estates in England - sometimes the ditch alone will be called a ha-ha.

 

[NotWise]

I've got a fresh pot of coffee brewing and some shortbread cookies on the counter. The teapot is hot for those who want a cuppa.

I'll be over in the corner working on my story and hopefully make some progress on it.

The jihad against the top list for Lesbian Sex stories continues. You can tell just from looking at the votes that it is being manipulated. The highest score is held by stories that have multiple thousands of votes because it takes a lot of votes to lower the score of a story that has more than 5000 votes. If the scores were normally distributed, you'd see top scores with just over a hundred votes and a lot of those have fallen off the list entirely.

I just checked on mine again. It's been on the "most popular list" for seven years with a score of 4.89 most of that time. It went to 4.90 early in October and was at something like #34. The score has declined since, reaching 4.86 this morning.

All but the top few scores are 4.87 now, and 4.86 puts it off the 250-member list.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I'm back and about to have a cup of coffee! Doctor believes I'm well now but warns, sometimes it comes back.

 

[NotWise]

I'm back and about to have a cup of coffee! Doctor believes I'm well now but warns, sometimes it comes back.

Congratulations on shaking the bug.

 

[cole4258]

Hello everyone. Having an afternoon cup hoping it kicks in soon

 

[MillieDynamite]

I snuffed it out!

Congratulations on shaking the bug.

 

[NotWise]

I snuffed it out!

The famous director, Pneumococcus Hitchcock is out there now making a microscopic horror flick about that time they invaded MillieDynamite. The devastation! Whole generations decimated!

 

[dmallord]

Interesting, yeah. that would work...

I want to thank @Laurel and @Manu who jumped on this right away (I think 15 reports from one source got their attention) and put things back to rights. Best of all my average score of 105 stories went back to 4.78 from last nights 4.76

The strength of the voice backed by numbers overwhelmingly forces powers above to bow!