skye in silk
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2002
- Posts
- 971
methinks the Bitch thread is a friendly place. wha'da you know?
morning fellow bitches!
Skye
morning fellow bitches!
SkyeThe BITCH Thread <S>
- Thread starter ReBeLBeLLe
- Start date
ReBeLBeLLe
NoN Returnable
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2002
- Posts
- 2,756
Good Morning fellow bitches!! and welcome to all the new bitches popping up on the thread too. I see so many of us claiming to be bitches and I was curious as to whether anyone cared to share what makes you feel you can be a bitch.
ReBeLBeLLe
NoN Returnable
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2002
- Posts
- 2,756
The Art of Bitching
"The Art of Bitching"
Bitching: (v)
To complain excessively
Too harsh
To make a series of connected statements intended to express a negative opinion of the subject matter, usually done in an excessive and disgruntled manner
Remember: bitching is fun!!!
Good Bitching
Art and Science
There is both a science and an art to bitching. To bitch effectively, one must understand the science, but the true joy is in the art.
A New Look at Bitching
In the sections to follow I hope to show a new way of looking at the art and science of bitching. I will discuss theories and ideas. Pointers are on the next page.
To truly understand good bitching, we must start with the basics. So I will begin by discussing the science of bitching, the forms and ways that one can become a good bitcher.
Complaining, whining, and griping are not the same as bitching. They are all effective tools that are used by good bitchers, but by themselves they are simply annoying. A good bitcher that can incorporate these things effectively is someone to be respected for their ability.
For anyone to bitch effectively they must first understand what they are bitching about and why. Bitching without reason merely makes you unenjoyable to be around and pedantic. You should bitch about things that you care about as simply bitching for the sake of bitching is hard to get into and you can never achieve the true art level of bitching.
Being a bitch does not mean being loud or rude. One can bitch and still maintain manners and salvage others' ears. Actually, variation in voice can be a very effective tool to ensure that your target hears and understands all of your bitching. By varying pitch and volume gracefully you will keep the listener interested and avoid becoming dull or monotonous.
Ultimately remember that the reason you are bitching is to try and improve all the shit that this world has to offer to you. You don't want shit and you don't want your friends to have to put up with it as well. So stir things up a bit and bitch about it. If you bitch effectively you can usually have the shit removed and make life generally more pleasant for you and yours.
The true art of bitching is not something that can be fully explained in words. It was once thought that you either had it or you didn't, but that is not true and most bitching experts (expecially other greater gods of bitching) will now tell you that an art for bitching can be developed with perseverance and practice. As with everything, practice makes perfect, so just keep on bitching and sooner or later you'll move beyond going through the functions to understanding it on an intuitive level and bitching from your soul.
Bitch Pointers
This will probably change with time, but here are some useful pointers to better enhance your bitching experience for you and for those you bitch to!
I have broken this down in sections. If you have suggestions for a section you'd like to see, then email me and I'll try and find some good pointers for you.
Food
Generally, the times to bitch about food are when you don't like it or if the selection is not good enough. However, I have heard rumor that once an exceptionally good bitcher bitched about food being GOOD. Expressly stating what you don't like about the food gives you not only crediation, but somewhere to go if you want to bitch for an extended period (warning: you should always warm up before long-term bitching; I'll try to create good warm up exercises with time). If the food itself is bad, handing it back helps to drive your point home. Remember that you are trying to accomplish something, so simply bitching but then doing nothing about it is pointless. You may end up eating it anyway, but be sure that if you do you've either tried to have it fixed or you are making a point by doing so. You can also consider bitching about the service. The well intended waiters and waitresses may in fact just like your tip more than they actually like serving you. If they seem somewhere else with no pleasant smile then bitching can help. The biggest way I find to bitch is to leave a less than appropriate tip.
Computers and electronics
Computers and electronic devices are not perfect, but they should be. I find it helpful to start by bitching at the offending equipment before bitching to others about it. Rarely does this accomplish a measurable good, but if you are the type of person that gains something cathartic by a good tounge-lashing at what ails you (as I am), then it still serves purpose. From here it would be advisable to take a moment and find out who needs to be informed of your problem. If your computer keeps crashing for an unknown reason, bitching at your spouse will do nothing, however, bitching at a tech support person or the person that sold it to you (if it's recent) might. Keep in mind two things here. Tech support people are more likely to help you if you control your bitching, so there is a time and place. Reserve bitching at them until nothing else seems to be working. Secondly, though you shouldn't bitch at your spouse, sometimes it can be very nice to have them bitch with you. Remember, bitching is an activity that can be fun for the whole family, and is enhanced when several people join in together to build on each other's bitching.
Automotives (including traffic lights)
Driving is a great time to just get practice at bitching, especially if you are new to it and still uncomfortable bitching in front of others. It's nothing to be ashamed of, even I do a lot of bitching while driving, just to keep up my edge. Most of the great bitchers do. The most obvious target is other cars on the road. When someone does something stupid, especially if it affects you directly, it's time to bitch. Unless you are yelling out the window (something I don't recommend) or there are others in the car, no one will hear you, but comments like "jackass", "idiot", and (my favorite) "use a turn signal, stupid" can be very helpful. Be creative and think up your own. There are an infinite number of situations and many comments that can apply to them all. Traffic lights are also a fun thing to practice bitching at, though be wary of doing it to a timetable. Lights that are red for a long period of time or that turn yellow right as you reach it so that you have to stop deserve to have a little bitch power thrown their way. You can always bitch at your present dealership and how the service is. They seem to know that the vehicle your driving was made so that you look almost dumb in terms of "how to go about fixing it". Your never told this is what you should do in case this happens, just drop it by the shop and we will charge you X amount of dollars and you'll be on your way.
People
People, of course, are the most predominate target of bitching. Some loose pointers have already been mentioned in other sections, which I will reiterate here. Don't bitch at people that can do nothing to help you or to fix things. Don't bitch at those that are close to you unless you have a good reason. Most of your friends can probably take a little bitching (especially if they know that you are a liscensed bitcher; it's expected of you at times), but too much drives anyone away (even other bitches). Bitching WITH others can often be more effective and more enjoyable for everyone doing the bitching and it helps each other to build on everyone else's skills.
"The Art of Bitching"
Bitching: (v)
To complain excessively
Too harsh
To make a series of connected statements intended to express a negative opinion of the subject matter, usually done in an excessive and disgruntled manner
Remember: bitching is fun!!!
Good Bitching
Art and Science
There is both a science and an art to bitching. To bitch effectively, one must understand the science, but the true joy is in the art.
A New Look at Bitching
In the sections to follow I hope to show a new way of looking at the art and science of bitching. I will discuss theories and ideas. Pointers are on the next page.
To truly understand good bitching, we must start with the basics. So I will begin by discussing the science of bitching, the forms and ways that one can become a good bitcher.
Complaining, whining, and griping are not the same as bitching. They are all effective tools that are used by good bitchers, but by themselves they are simply annoying. A good bitcher that can incorporate these things effectively is someone to be respected for their ability.
For anyone to bitch effectively they must first understand what they are bitching about and why. Bitching without reason merely makes you unenjoyable to be around and pedantic. You should bitch about things that you care about as simply bitching for the sake of bitching is hard to get into and you can never achieve the true art level of bitching.
Being a bitch does not mean being loud or rude. One can bitch and still maintain manners and salvage others' ears. Actually, variation in voice can be a very effective tool to ensure that your target hears and understands all of your bitching. By varying pitch and volume gracefully you will keep the listener interested and avoid becoming dull or monotonous.
Ultimately remember that the reason you are bitching is to try and improve all the shit that this world has to offer to you. You don't want shit and you don't want your friends to have to put up with it as well. So stir things up a bit and bitch about it. If you bitch effectively you can usually have the shit removed and make life generally more pleasant for you and yours.
The true art of bitching is not something that can be fully explained in words. It was once thought that you either had it or you didn't, but that is not true and most bitching experts (expecially other greater gods of bitching) will now tell you that an art for bitching can be developed with perseverance and practice. As with everything, practice makes perfect, so just keep on bitching and sooner or later you'll move beyond going through the functions to understanding it on an intuitive level and bitching from your soul.
Bitch Pointers
This will probably change with time, but here are some useful pointers to better enhance your bitching experience for you and for those you bitch to!
I have broken this down in sections. If you have suggestions for a section you'd like to see, then email me and I'll try and find some good pointers for you.
Food
Generally, the times to bitch about food are when you don't like it or if the selection is not good enough. However, I have heard rumor that once an exceptionally good bitcher bitched about food being GOOD. Expressly stating what you don't like about the food gives you not only crediation, but somewhere to go if you want to bitch for an extended period (warning: you should always warm up before long-term bitching; I'll try to create good warm up exercises with time). If the food itself is bad, handing it back helps to drive your point home. Remember that you are trying to accomplish something, so simply bitching but then doing nothing about it is pointless. You may end up eating it anyway, but be sure that if you do you've either tried to have it fixed or you are making a point by doing so. You can also consider bitching about the service. The well intended waiters and waitresses may in fact just like your tip more than they actually like serving you. If they seem somewhere else with no pleasant smile then bitching can help. The biggest way I find to bitch is to leave a less than appropriate tip.
Computers and electronics
Computers and electronic devices are not perfect, but they should be. I find it helpful to start by bitching at the offending equipment before bitching to others about it. Rarely does this accomplish a measurable good, but if you are the type of person that gains something cathartic by a good tounge-lashing at what ails you (as I am), then it still serves purpose. From here it would be advisable to take a moment and find out who needs to be informed of your problem. If your computer keeps crashing for an unknown reason, bitching at your spouse will do nothing, however, bitching at a tech support person or the person that sold it to you (if it's recent) might. Keep in mind two things here. Tech support people are more likely to help you if you control your bitching, so there is a time and place. Reserve bitching at them until nothing else seems to be working. Secondly, though you shouldn't bitch at your spouse, sometimes it can be very nice to have them bitch with you. Remember, bitching is an activity that can be fun for the whole family, and is enhanced when several people join in together to build on each other's bitching.
Automotives (including traffic lights)
Driving is a great time to just get practice at bitching, especially if you are new to it and still uncomfortable bitching in front of others. It's nothing to be ashamed of, even I do a lot of bitching while driving, just to keep up my edge. Most of the great bitchers do. The most obvious target is other cars on the road. When someone does something stupid, especially if it affects you directly, it's time to bitch. Unless you are yelling out the window (something I don't recommend) or there are others in the car, no one will hear you, but comments like "jackass", "idiot", and (my favorite) "use a turn signal, stupid" can be very helpful. Be creative and think up your own. There are an infinite number of situations and many comments that can apply to them all. Traffic lights are also a fun thing to practice bitching at, though be wary of doing it to a timetable. Lights that are red for a long period of time or that turn yellow right as you reach it so that you have to stop deserve to have a little bitch power thrown their way. You can always bitch at your present dealership and how the service is. They seem to know that the vehicle your driving was made so that you look almost dumb in terms of "how to go about fixing it". Your never told this is what you should do in case this happens, just drop it by the shop and we will charge you X amount of dollars and you'll be on your way.
People
People, of course, are the most predominate target of bitching. Some loose pointers have already been mentioned in other sections, which I will reiterate here. Don't bitch at people that can do nothing to help you or to fix things. Don't bitch at those that are close to you unless you have a good reason. Most of your friends can probably take a little bitching (especially if they know that you are a liscensed bitcher; it's expected of you at times), but too much drives anyone away (even other bitches). Bitching WITH others can often be more effective and more enjoyable for everyone doing the bitching and it helps each other to build on everyone else's skills.
Batch
Airship Captain
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2002
- Posts
- 52,619
BITCHINESS
61.766 %
GENERAL STATISTICS
Batchoohus your score of 61.766% bitch is actually higher than the average bitch test score of 20.824 %
Top Three Men women would like to sleep with
1. Brad Pitt - 23.43%
2. Mel Gibson - 10.54%
3. Tom Hanks - 6.54%
The average women visiting the Bitch Test has had 4.65 sexual partners
SEXINESS
99.99 %
PERSONAL STATISTICS
In your life your likely to have 29 Partners
You'll sleep with 10 men, most of whom will be crap in bed.
You'll most likely dump 28 of them before they dump you.
But more importantly you'll be a complete BITCH to 100% of the men who mess you around.
giggles
61.766 %
GENERAL STATISTICS
Batchoohus your score of 61.766% bitch is actually higher than the average bitch test score of 20.824 %
Top Three Men women would like to sleep with
1. Brad Pitt - 23.43%
2. Mel Gibson - 10.54%
3. Tom Hanks - 6.54%
The average women visiting the Bitch Test has had 4.65 sexual partners
SEXINESS
99.99 %
PERSONAL STATISTICS
In your life your likely to have 29 Partners
You'll sleep with 10 men, most of whom will be crap in bed.
You'll most likely dump 28 of them before they dump you.
But more importantly you'll be a complete BITCH to 100% of the men who mess you around.
giggles
NoOtherName
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2001
- Posts
- 976
ROTFLMFAO...
trixiefirecracker
Fire: Walk With Me
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2002
- Posts
- 4,651
Well hellooooo there fellow bitches!!
Why I think I'm a bitch....
Well, darn... does my H calling me a vindictive bitch count... LOL...
I must say, I am not always a bitch - but boy, get me going, and then.... well... watch out. Although it's been a while since I've had a chance to put my powers to good use....
But there are a select few people on this board that really make me want to let lose.... LOL!!! Won't go into more details here...
Well, darn... does my H calling me a vindictive bitch count... LOL...
I must say, I am not always a bitch - but boy, get me going, and then.... well... watch out. Although it's been a while since I've had a chance to put my powers to good use....
But there are a select few people on this board that really make me want to let lose.... LOL!!! Won't go into more details here...
Batch
Airship Captain
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2002
- Posts
- 52,619
Arden said:
well mind f***ed
and for the most part it was of course nice, but the aftermath!
so I decided I would back off and lay LOW...instead of going for his throat,
which I haven't and won't do...
that one will get his...in time...karma...........
nimble fingers be damned
what was done was not acceptable
ReBeLBeLLe
NoN Returnable
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2002
- Posts
- 2,756
Good Morning!!
Here's wishing each of you bitches out there a wonderful morning and a happy Friday!
Nimble fingers?? *perks* Where??
Here's wishing each of you bitches out there a wonderful morning and a happy Friday!
Nimble fingers?? *perks* Where??
ReBeLBeLLe
NoN Returnable
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2002
- Posts
- 2,756
This is for Batch and anyone else that may feel the need to send a few choice words in the direction of an unfeeling ingrate...
http://www.karmafarm.com/bitchletter.gif
http://www.karmafarm.com/letter.html
This site makes easy work of a letter when you really don't want to waste your time or effort on someone but still would like for them to get an idea of what you feel.
http://www.karmafarm.com/bitchletter.gif
http://www.karmafarm.com/letter.html
This site makes easy work of a letter when you really don't want to waste your time or effort on someone but still would like for them to get an idea of what you feel.
ReBeLBeLLe
NoN Returnable
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2002
- Posts
- 2,756
Men: If you have recently called someone a bitch and feel the need to make amends here is a nifty little card that may prove useful...
http://www.amazinghumor.com/pics/0063.jpg
http://www.amazinghumor.com/pics/0063.jpg
Last edited:
Batchoohus said:
Fucked, did someone get fucked - oh wait, definately NOT me... LOL
Good morning fellow bitches...
Ooh, and Batch - I had the same freakin' kinda thing happen, and trust me, I was pissed. Probably shouldn't go into the details here... but lets just say, he was an ass and hit me with a sneak attack that totally pissed me off.... I even went of Lit for a few days.... to cool off... LOL! And even now, when he isn't avoiding me... which I don't understand - what is it with men... they can't just say, ooh, I don't think that part of this is working, but let's still talk, or even, hey, I don't even want to talk anymore. No, they have to tell ya "oh, yes, everything cool, missed ya, just been busy" but never talk to you... sure, whatever. I too have backed way off - they can approach me.... or f*** off right now....
Ooh, but I digress....
Silk - those are some hilarious cards.... where can I get a bastard card!!! LOL
Arden - nope, I have barely run into you at all on here.... but there are a couple, in particular... all those who always are feeling the need to "leave Lit" over something.... then NEVER go.... errrr
Batch
Airship Captain
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2002
- Posts
- 52,619
bozinka said:
I do not mind if thye are playing with other people
I have no problem with honesty
right up front...
tell me where you stand
I tell you where I stand
Very Cool, Very Adult
But....
when you get lied to
and lied to
and but
Dayyymmmann
Damn
that I have no love for or tolerance for
Fuck liars can get under our skin and tear it from your bones.....
He is not a good man!!!!
If I could arrange for a load of hosre shit to fall out of the sky and land on his lying betraying ass
I might
consider doing that
And I would want pictures to...
and then I find out he has not one
Nickname but
two now....
Uh huh, and i see him playing around with other chickies using that other Nickname....
i just want to make a WANTED POSTER and place it on every thread that his 'nimble little fingers' are working on...
Oh I am bitching.
feels good.
Thank you one and all for the thread.
Batchoohus said:
Exactly - we are all grown ups here... just be straight with me... yes? Not this "ooh, I still want to chat, or talk, or think you're hot" but then they give you the brush off.... just be up front - be a man!!!
Ooh, and now you have my interest piqued... who is this nimble fingered man... wonder if I know him.... LOL This guy sounds like a complete ass... err.. and yes, bitch away, right - that's what this thread would be for...
Why don't you make a wanted poster and at least post here... LOL
Batch
Airship Captain
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2002
- Posts
- 52,619
bozinka said:
Oh God!
That would belike such a cool thing to do!!!
But am I a bitch enough to do that?
I need to think about it.
Giggles...snorting......chuckling.....laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He gave good WORD!
YOu know I could make a wanted poster, but how to hold back on giving too many clues as to who he is...
If only I were truely EVIL.
*oh sigh*
Batchoohus said:
Ah, see, now why hold back.. ah but perhaps this is the bitch in me talking... LOL... although, it's not like my situation... I hold back because the guy isn't REALLY a jerk... so much as dropped me w/o an explanation. A guy who's stringing gals along on here, with more than one Handle... well, IMHO deserves to be partially strung up...
It could become a fun game on here. Guess who the ass is - kind of like blind tidbits of info to see who can guess first.
Oh, ladies, am I just too mean. What do you think - a guy who uses 2 different handles to meet different women...
