The Hymen: a question for the ladies

[OQueen]

OQueen. You are welcome. Yes, I was really impressed with the site and the PDF when I first read it. I learned a lot about the hymen and much of what I believed about popping one's cherry were misconceptions. You can always learn something new!

Yes. I have learned so much from this forum and some of the blogs I've been following. I see you write a blog. Tomorrow I will check it out.

But, tell me, why, in the 21st Century, we are still in the dark about so much regarding our bodies and sexuality in general???
Does it go back to the fact that most scientists are male?

It all just makes me fucking crazy!!!!!!

 

[butters]

most the discomfort from first time sex is due to lack of experience and lubrication.

 

[infinity706]

Yes. I have learned so much from this forum and some of the blogs I've been following. I see you write a blog. Tomorrow I will check it out.

But, tell me, why, in the 21st Century, we are still in the dark about so much regarding our bodies and sexuality in general???
Does it go back to the fact that most scientists are male?

It all just makes me fucking crazy!!!!!!

I think that has something to do with more men wanting to be scientists. Women tend to have better grades across the board in math and science. There just aren't that many women that choose to pursue such a career. Of course, it does require graduate education, and long hours in the lab, which would seriously get in the way of getting pregnant at a young age if a woman wanted that. Afterall, the pregnancy and everything else would seriously get in the way of her education and possibly cause her to spend time away from the lab. That could jepordise her research funding and therefore, make it more difficult to attain the credibility to get the big money. It's probably about the same thing as why there aren't many women running major companies or holding high government offices. It's not that women are less qualified or some 'glass ceiling' in most cases. It's more the fact that you really have to sacrifice a ton of your personal life for your career, which men seem to be more willing, in general, to do.

 

[Netzach]

I never expected it to hurt the first time and it didn't. I was already masturbating regularly and was pretty comfortable with my vagina. I wonder if expecting it to hurt is one of the reasons that it actually does.

Same here, except I was buying the hype. I was all set for bleeding pain and tearing and it was like, oh anticlimax. Guess that time I fell on the balance beam or something was the culprit.

We did it again in an hour. No anticlimax that time.

 

[southernsky]

I was really looking forward to some bleeding and pain (yes, masochist here...) and I was really pissed when it didn't happen at all. Of course he was so small that I barely felt it, but that's another story Maybe it's why I get so happy having sex on my period, it's kind of a way to make up for the fact that I never got any of that my first time. I think I'm probably the only woman to think this way, so don't listen very closely to me.

 

[KoPilot]

I had a really weird-shaped hymen that made the removal (not insertion) of tampons really difficult and painful, and boy was I ecstatic when I woke up the morning after my first time and realized that I could finally use tampons like a normal person!

But yeah, said hymen did hurt a fair amount when it was broken, and I did bleed some. And being the kinky person I am, I thought the pain was kinda hot.

 

[sacrificedangel]

I remember it stinging like hell and a little blood, nothing too bothersome. Was just lying back feeling not very much, and thinking "WTF is he doing?". Second time (2 yrs later with different partner) was muuuuuuuuuuch better...and realised 1st partner hadnt entirely broken me in. LOL Ive considered surgery to remove the scar tissue, it really really doesnt stretch very well and is very uncomfortable after rough sex, but they dont do it here...*sigh* Would have to travel to the mainland to get it.

 

[DominaDoll]

OQueen: Yes Patriarchy has a lot to do with why women's bodies are still undiscovered countries. And, women would take jobs in sciene if they got paid equal pay and men could stay at home and take care of the families. Until that happens, we will have to learn from the women who sacrifice family for career.

southernsky: I think that's a rite of passage, so yes, pain and bleeding should be a apart of it. It would make all the cramps, and having babies much more worth it! Or, at least let you know what you were in for.

 

[OQueen]

OQueen: Yes Patriarchy has a lot to do with why women's bodies are still undiscovered countries. And, women would take jobs in sciene if they got paid equal pay and men could stay at home and take care of the families. Until that happens, we will have to learn from the women who sacrifice family for career.

Which is why Lit is such an amazing place. Where else do you have women from all over the world posting about their hymens???
We're doing the research here, each one of us, one post at a time.

 

[CWatson]

But, tell me, why, in the 21st Century, we are still in the dark about so much regarding our bodies and sexuality in general???
Does it go back to the fact that most scientists are male?

It's also because America is hysterically prudish about sex.

The example I like to talk about is a video game, Grand Theft Auto III: San Andreas. This is what's called a "wide-open sandbox" game, in that there are objectives to achieve, but you can also spend as much time as you want just exploring the game's virtual world, which is a large and well-realized city. Most of the objectives, as suggested by the game's title, involve criminal activity, and one of the things you can do while you're just exploring is steal cars, run over pedestrians, shoot bystanders for no reason, get chased by cops, evade them, and (in one specific location) even position yourself in a way that you lure the computer-controlled police cars into driving off cliffs.

The other thing you can do in the game is date girls. Originally, this was going to be a bigger deal: if a date went really well, the girl would invite you up to her apartment for "Hot Coffee". Yeah, remember this scandal? That aspect of the game--the part where you get to control a virtual sex scene--was isolated out so that it can't be accessed during gameplay, but all the code remained, and hackers discovered it. In a game full of criminal activity, it was consensual sex--just about the only legal thing you can do in the game--that got screamed about by Moral Guardians.

At my Catholic high school, my religion teacher once made an interesting observation: the things that are truly powerful and dangerous are the things that are never talked about aloud. That's one of the reasons you're not supposed to pronounce the name of the God of Jews aloud; we have to make do with that vowel-less "YHVH" thing. (Well, that and the fact that we lost the vowels somewhere along the way, due to the way Hebrew is written. Today it's generally interpreted as either "Yahweh" or "Yehovah.") And what's the one thing we're terrified of hearing in America? "Daddy, where do babies come from?"

Why is America so unbelievably repressed about sex. I don't know. It's partially our cultural heritage we were founded by Pilgrims, a Christian sect so wildly conservative that even the Brits found them excessive. But why did they find sex so dangerous? Again, I don't know. But I refer you to Greek mythology for a partial answer. Which god has the highest body count? Answer: Aphrodite, the goddess of love. She started a war that killed basically everyone involved in it: the city being defended lost the war, and every single man, woman and child in it died. And of the soldiers doing the attacking, about five of them made it back: King Menelaos, his wife, a few of their servants, and a very crafty man named Odysseus. How many tens of thousands of deaths are we laying at the door of the goddess of "love"? And how did she start the war? Simple: "Hey, Paris. If you vote for me in the beauty contest, I'll help you bust a nut on the most beautiful woman in the world. Sure, she's currently married, but we can get around that..." And Paris's cock said, "Sure." And that was the beginning of the Trojan War.

So maybe we do have an answer. Sex is powerful, and people will do really, really stupid things for it.

Does that mean we should be as all-fired repressive of it as we are? Hell no! The fundamental assumption behind abstinence-only education--or rather, "ignorance-only education," as I like to call it--is that if you don't teach someone that sex is powerful, it loses its power. This is of course complete and total bullshit. But America, particularly its conservative sectors, are too scared of sex to be able to contemplate anything like sex education. That would be giving it too much power. That would be unlocking too many Aphrodites. They're wrong, but that's how they see it.

 

[infinity706]

I really doubt the Puritans would have supported abstinence education, either. They just banned sex outside of marriage. That doesn't mean no sex, though. You could get in just as much trouble for not putting out for your marriage partner. (women were just as much entitled to good marital sex as men) It's not really that different than the standard that most people have nowdays, about only having sex with one person, exclusively. Of course, the time of the Puritans was also back in the days before medicines and birth control. The Puritans were no where near as extreme as modern day Baptists and Catholics that still think sex is evil.

 

[OQueen]

So maybe we do have an answer. Sex is powerful, and people will do really, really stupid things for it.

Does that mean we should be as all-fired repressive of it as we are? Hell no! The fundamental assumption behind abstinence-only education--or rather, "ignorance-only education," as I like to call it--is that if you don't teach someone that sex is powerful, it loses its power. This is of course complete and total bullshit. But America, particularly its conservative sectors, are too scared of sex to be able to contemplate anything like sex education. That would be giving it too much power. That would be unlocking too many Aphrodites. They're wrong, but that's how they see it.

I love your post and yes, sex is powerful and the patriarchy keeps women in the dark about our bodies in order to reinforce their dominance. (or something like that. I've not totally fleshed that thought out yet) It has taken me a while to full appreciate the power of sex in my life, and I believe I have fully embraced it's awesomeness I'm trying to raise my daughter to appreciate that power also. All we can do to fight the repressive right...

Should this be in the Hymen thread?