The Hypochondriac Cafe

[ABSTRUSE]

To go where no reptile has gone before?

No comment.

 

[Guest]

Mah shoulder hurts

It's not suppose to hurt, I had surgery to "fix" it.

 

[glynndah]

I have had laryngitis for the past three days. Everything I say comes out as a rasp or a squeak. My cats are becoming alarmed.

 

[Misty_Morning]

My throat hurts, my legs hurt, my nose is raw, and orange juice is yuck when you run out of peach schnapps.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

*falls over on desk*

 

[OhMissScarlett]

My leg is close to falling off.

 

[logophile]

My leg is close to falling off.

I've got glue... ?
Anything I can do to help?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I've got glue... ?
Anything I can do to help?

Logo is all heart.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[logophile]

Logo is all heart.

Rumple Foreskin

Nah - I've got a sizable backside, as well!


Love you, Rumply.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Nah - I've got a sizable backside, as well!


Love you, Rumply.

And that backside is every bit as appealing as your heart.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[logophile]

And that backside is every bit as appealing as your heart.

Rumple Foreskin

Well, as you can tell from the picture, I've always been one to wear my heart right out there on my backside.

That one didn't work so well, did it? And by that I mean, it wasn't really funny. At all.

 

[rgraham666]

Well, as you can tell from the picture, I've always been one to wear my heart right out there on my backside.

That one didn't work so well, did it? And by that I mean, it wasn't really funny. At all.

I'm too busy admiring your backside to care.

I'm not sure 'admiring' is the right word but close enough.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I've got glue... ?
Anything I can do to help?

Thanks, but putting up my favorite av is help enough. I seem to have magically healed.

 

[logophile]

Aw, thanks, you two!
What a nice way to start the morning.

 

[Guest]

ouchie!!!

 

[scheherazade_79]

Wisdom tooth

I've tried everything I can get my hands on - legal and illegal.

I'm now considering extraction. I have a pair of pliers that might do the trick.

Anyone know the lyrics to that GLC song about shotgun surgery?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Wisdom tooth

I've tried everything I can get my hands on - legal and illegal.

I'm now considering extraction. I have a pair of pliers that might do the trick.

Anyone know the lyrics to that GLC song about shotgun surgery?

Damn. I've often thought about getting into doing folk dentistry, you could make a fortune.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Damn. I've often thought about getting into doing folk dentistry, you could make a fortune.

It's gone now, but if it flares up again I'll give you a call and we can do some team work on it

 

[OhMissScarlett]

It's gone now, but if it flares up again I'll give you a call and we can do some team work on it

Great, we'll drink a fifth of whiskey and then get right down to it.


unrelated hypochondriac blurt: I'm seriously going to scratch my face right off.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Great, we'll drink a fifth of whiskey and then get right down to it.


unrelated hypochondriac blurt: I'm seriously going to scratch my face right off.

Drink some more whiskey, and I'll give you a skin-peel!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Drink some more whiskey, and I'll give you a skin-peel!

Ooh.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Ooh.

The only thing I can think of using for it, though, is a potato peeler... Do you want the rest of that whiskey?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

The only thing I can think of using for it, though, is a potato peeler... Do you want the rest of that whiskey?

Cheese grater? *downs whiskey*

 

[scheherazade_79]

Cheese grater? *downs whiskey*

Better idea! Is there such a thing as a paint-stripping machine?

 

[Nirvanadragones]

I feel terrible. And it's my own fault.