the idea of a mood and/or the attempt to capture me

[pantyboidoe]

There is something about this first picture I really enjoy. And the concept for this thread is one that resonates.

Thank you for sharing.

i am so flattered you came by my thread, Moochie! You thread is such perfection and so much inspiration to create something beautiful (or at least to try to).

 

[pantyboidoe]

i'm not very flexible but i do my best to stretch and keep nimble, i should really be doing yoga every day but sometimes it's just hard to find the time. i really like pilates when i was doing it regularly but for now i just stretch when i am able and try to sweat out and workout all of the aches in my muscles and limbs.

i like riding the train and bus every day because there are so many interesting people to bump into and make eye contact with and just flirt with one's eyes and it's those eyes that we sometimes make from across the crowded train car that sends a thrill through my spine and sometimes it's the turn of a lip into a smirk that makes me think that maybe we're on the same page but then i go back into the book that i am carrying and maybe we lose track with one another or maybe i'll see you tomorrow or maybe it just is what it is and that's it

i really enjoyed shooting this series of photos not so much due to the attire but because of the mood and ambiance of the series so here's the start of something new, for now.

 

[pantyboidoe]

sometimes it's the thought of an idea that sends a thrill up one's spine and other times it's the catch of an eye from across the train but there are those moments of connection however fleeting and brief that sync people together from me to you and you to them and them to us and we to everyone and it is those moments that always seem to capture and hold my imagination even if there is never to be anything ever again between us those moments are brief captures of times that become the words that i write, and the feelings that i hold onto, and that inspire me in those moments when i am feeling sad or alone or even in the moments when i am feeling connected to everything and sometimes those moments won't mean anything to anyone but me

 

[pantyboidoe]

there are moments during the day when i feel vulnerable and quiet and these moments happen more often than not but it is those moments that i will always cherish and center myself on because i am not an extrovert and i do not go out of my way to make myself heard or seen - i have always preferred to be the wallflower, quiet, sometimes comforting and sometimes aloof but always present here and now to either be a ear to listen or a shoulder to cry upon

 

[talikat]

i'm not very flexible but i do my best to stretch and keep nimble, i should really be doing yoga every day but sometimes it's just hard to find the time. i really like pilates when i was doing it regularly but for now i just stretch when i am able and try to sweat out and workout all of the aches in my muscles and limbs.

i like riding the train and bus every day because there are so many interesting people to bump into and make eye contact with and just flirt with one's eyes and it's those eyes that we sometimes make from across the crowded train car that sends a thrill through my spine and sometimes it's the turn of a lip into a smirk that makes me think that maybe we're on the same page but then i go back into the book that i am carrying and maybe we lose track with one another or maybe i'll see you tomorrow or maybe it just is what it is and that's it

i really enjoyed shooting this series of photos not so much due to the attire but because of the mood and ambiance of the series so here's the start of something new, for now.

sometimes it's the thought of an idea that sends a thrill up one's spine and other times it's the catch of an eye from across the train but there are those moments of connection however fleeting and brief that sync people together from me to you and you to them and them to us and we to everyone and it is those moments that always seem to capture and hold my imagination even if there is never to be anything ever again between us those moments are brief captures of times that become the words that i write, and the feelings that i hold onto, and that inspire me in those moments when i am feeling sad or alone or even in the moments when i am feeling connected to everything and sometimes those moments won't mean anything to anyone but me

there are moments during the day when i feel vulnerable and quiet and these moments happen more often than not but it is those moments that i will always cherish and center myself on because i am not an extrovert and i do not go out of my way to make myself heard or seen - i have always preferred to be the wallflower, quiet, sometimes comforting and sometimes aloof but always present here and now to either be a ear to listen or a shoulder to cry upon

Beautiful pictures, PB and I can relate to all those feelings you described, lovely moments most of the time!

 

[pantyboidoe]

Beautiful pictures, PB and I can relate to all those feelings you described, lovely moments most of the time!

Thank you, Tali! So grateful to share words and images with You!

 

[pantyboidoe]

we're going to the gay men's chorus holiday festivus today and i really enjoy going to their drag shows, usually in February, and it always makes me wish that i were confident enough to sing in front of crowds of people and to dress up for them and i always am admiring their attire and how they wear it with such confidence though i guess some of them probably aren't really all that confident but it is still a lot of fun to watch and always thrills me so and i think i'll take some time for myself this afternoon while i have some time alone

 

[talikat]

we're going to the gay men's chorus holiday festivus today and i really enjoy going to their drag shows, usually in February, and it always makes me wish that i were confident enough to sing in front of crowds of people and to dress up for them and i always am admiring their attire and how they wear it with such confidence though i guess some of them probably aren't really all that confident but it is still a lot of fun to watch and always thrills me so and i think i'll take some time for myself this afternoon while i have some time alone

Happy Festivus, PB!! Love the outfit!!

 

[pantyboidoe]

Happy Festivus, PB!! Love the outfit!!

Thank you so much, Tali!

 

[pantyboidoe]

i haven't had a drink in a month and i have a fridge full of things to try and i don't really think that i miss it at all though i never really drank, regularly, anyways. But, to some extent i am really conscious of dependencies even if they're not really dependencies. i think it has something with how difficult i found it to quit smoking and how much the smell of tobacco still puts me in a state of mind and brings back all of these wistful memories.

i ran around today doing errands in the rain and finding gifts for people for the end of the month and thinking and talking about the life and death of local shops as amazon moves in and big boxes come and go through the swinging door of competition and the lifeline of capitalism

and sometimes i just want to spend the day like this

 

[talikat]

i haven't had a drink in a month and i have a fridge full of things to try and i don't really think that i miss it at all though i never really drank, regularly, anyways. But, to some extent i am really conscious of dependencies even if they're not really dependencies. i think it has something with how difficult i found it to quit smoking and how much the smell of tobacco still puts me in a state of mind and brings back all of these wistful memories.

i ran around today doing errands in the rain and finding gifts for people for the end of the month and thinking and talking about the life and death of local shops as amazon moves in and big boxes come and go through the swinging door of competition and the lifeline of capitalism

and sometimes i just want to spend the day like this

I think I wore out drinking when I was young, so I don't even think about it anymore and smoking was really hard to give up, I agree. Sometimes it smells good to me if I smell it on the street and I want one, but then I just forget, lol, the perks of being old and forgetful.

That's a great way to spend the day!!

 

[pantyboidoe]

I think I wore out drinking when I was young, so I don't even think about it anymore and smoking was really hard to give up, I agree. Sometimes it smells good to me if I smell it on the street and I want one, but then I just forget, lol, the perks of being old and forgetful.

That's a great way to spend the day!!

Ugh. It's those random moments when i cross someone smoking on the street or outside of a bar that gets me the worst. But i know i'm healthier for not doing it any longer! But it does make me wistful and strikes those nerves the right way. Drinking i enjoy in small quantities but it has felt really good not partaking over the past month.

Now i just wish that the tired wall that hit me after i got the booster + flu shot last week would go away!!

 

[pantyboidoe]

i wonder how many days i have woken up tired and not well rested over the course of my lifetime and it feels like it has been a lot recently and that has been tough but it's not like i've ever really slept well anyways and i did wean myself off of sleeping medication that was helping or at least theoretically. so maybe that's on me or something, i'm not really sure. but i do everything that i can to try to make sure that i sleep well (i.e., turn screens off, avoid bad lighting, meditate/read before going to bed, don't usually consume caffeine after 1pm) but maybe this is just life.

i tried a sleep study once and it was awful because they had all of the sensors and i sleep on my stomach and i couldn't during the study so i wonder if the data they collected was just shit but i don't really remember what they said and anyways i think i should spend 20 minutes stretching everything out tonight

 

[talikat]

i wonder how many days i have woken up tired and not well rested over the course of my lifetime and it feels like it has been a lot recently and that has been tough but it's not like i've ever really slept well anyways and i did wean myself off of sleeping medication that was helping or at least theoretically. so maybe that's on me or something, i'm not really sure. but i do everything that i can to try to make sure that i sleep well (i.e., turn screens off, avoid bad lighting, meditate/read before going to bed, don't usually consume caffeine after 1pm) but maybe this is just life.

i tried a sleep study once and it was awful because they had all of the sensors and i sleep on my stomach and i couldn't during the study so i wonder if the data they collected was just shit but i don't really remember what they said and anyways i think i should spend 20 minutes stretching everything out tonight

Now that's something I've never had any trouble with is sleeping. I can sleep anywhere, any time, it's a gift I guess.

And stretching can't hurt, can it?

 

[pantyboidoe]

Now that's something I've never had any trouble with is sleeping. I can sleep anywhere, any time, it's a gift I guess.

And stretching can't hurt, can it?

ooh, stretching will never hurt! i've always had really tight hamstrings despite doing lots and lots of cardio and it has been one of my biggest issues physically! i definitely need to get into more of a regular routine because it's the worst

 

[pantyboidoe]

45 minutes for 10 miles, today and i think there's a pool of sweat on the ground underneath me and i've been taking lots of baths lately because it feels good to stretch and soak my muscles afterwards so here's the start of a very short series of photos featuring me in a bathtub

i'm not very good at social things and there are always lots of social things around the holidays which i do not really care for outside of family time but that's neither here nor there. we started with the Gay Men's Chorus Holiday concert and a late night afterwards, last weekend. tonight we go to the White Christmas singalong which this will be my second time seeing the movie (first time was prepandemic, at the singalong) and i sort of hate the movie? sooo, there's that. hope this holiday season doesn't get too crazy!

 

[pantyboidoe]

the woman standing on the train dancing silently in her
grey plaid wool coat and matching socks
grey streaked hair and gold hoop earrings, while her
neighbor with her milky white ankles, dried and cracking,
mutters to herself and
we're all sharing music or at least maybe
she's moving in rhythm to the music in my ears that
seems to be the way things go sometimes

sometimes we make eyes and that feels like a little progress

 

[pantyboidoe]

sometimes it's that toe-curling sensation of teasing myself until i start to leak and then backing off from the edge and other times it's the simple act of squeezing my balls that reminds me of my place but the mood is always so familiarly unfamiliar and it is always a joy to find the new things that will excite and entice me to play but at times a state of denial is what makes me long the most

 

[talikat]

the woman standing on the train dancing silently in her
grey plaid wool coat and matching socks
grey streaked hair and gold hoop earrings, while her
neighbor with her milky white ankles, dried and cracking,
mutters to herself and
we're all sharing music or at least maybe
she's moving in rhythm to the music in my ears that
seems to be the way things go sometimes

sometimes we make eyes and that feels like a little progress

sometimes it's that toe-curling sensation of teasing myself until i start to leak and then backing off from the edge and other times it's the simple act of squeezing my balls that reminds me of my place but the mood is always so familiarly unfamiliar and it is always a joy to find the new things that will excite and entice me to play but at times a state of denial is what makes me long the most

Toe curling from new things you've tried is definitely a great joy!

 

[pantyboidoe]

Toe curling from new things you've tried is definitely a great joy!

Hope you have a nice weekend ahead of you, Tali!

 

[talikat]

Hope you have a nice weekend ahead of you, Tali!

Thank you, so far it's looking okay!! I hope yours is great as well!!

 

[pantyboidoe]

Thank you, so far it's looking okay!! I hope yours is great as well!!

My wife had an operation today! Sooo it has been a long and exhausting day as we've been up since five. But everything went well and she is catching some winks on the couch. I just finished making some dinner and running errands all day so it's nice to sit down.

 

[talikat]

My wife had an operation today! Sooo it has been a long and exhausting day as we've been up since five. But everything went well and she is catching some winks on the couch. I just finished making some dinner and running errands all day so it's nice to sit down.

I'm glad her surgery went well, that's great to hear and you deserve to sit down after a long day!!

 

[pantyboidoe]

I'm glad her surgery went well, that's great to hear and you deserve to sit down after a long day!!

It was needed!

 

[pantyboidoe]

ugh, not feeling very motivated lately but here i am after a ride last week, just a little sweaty

i am usually a morning person - up at 6am no matter what and ready to start the day. these past couple of weeks, ever since the flu shot/covid booster combo, i've been dragging and not doing everything that i would like to do. i am hoping that this will change soon!