The Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

[neonflux]

My sis, who is my favorite person in the world, just called and her latest round of interviews (2.5 days of literally non-stop interviews, dinners, job talks, etc.) for her first post-PhD university job went well!!!

They kept talking about her as "our candidate" (although it's hard to figure out what they really meant by that it sounds good, right?) and the pay would be very decent. If she gets it, this will be her 2nd job offer.

She's had a hard, hard 2 years, getting out of a really terrible relationship at the same time she was finishing her thesis, teaching for peanuts, putting up with terrible weather when she has terrible migraines, getting out slews upon slews of job applications, etc.

Anyway, thank you for letting me celebrate!



~ Neon

 

[graceanne]

My sis, who is my favorite person in the world, just called and her latest round of interviews (2.5 days of literally non-stop interviews, dinners, job talks, etc.) for her first post-PhD university job went well!!!

They kept talking about her as "our candidate" (although it's hard to figure out what they really meant by that it sounds good, right?) and the pay would be very decent. If she gets it, this will be her 2nd job offer.

She's had a hard, hard 2 years, getting out of a really terrible relationship at the same time she was finishing her thesis, teaching for peanuts, putting up with terrible weather when she has terrible migraines, getting out slews upon slews of job applications, etc.

Anyway, thank you for letting me celebrate!



~ Neon

WOO HOO!

 

[TooTiredToLive]

Over the past year, I've discovered - no, let's be honest: admitted to myself - that I am just not cut out for a "relationship." I'm too selfish. I'm too lazy. I don't love myself enough to be able to truly give love to someone else. I don't want to - or can't - maintain the level of effort required to keep a continuing relationship going. I want what I want when I want it, and when something else strikes my fancy, I want that.

I suppose the best answer for me would be to be fabulously wealthy and have a harem. That way, none of them would expect my full attention at any time other than when I sent for them, and I could indulge my adult attention deficit disorder to my own satisfaction. Since I'm not likely to become fabulously wealthy in the foreseeable future, that option is probably out.

The next best scenario, I suppose, would be to be honest with myself - and others - and admit that yes, I'd love to play, I'd love to beat your ass, Dom you, Top you, but don't look for love, commitment, or a long-term relationship. I'll move on when something new comes up.

What hurts is that I've hurt others by not seeing and accepting this facet of myself... and not in the way I like to hurt people, or they like to be hurt. I've hurt them emotionally, wounded them, and perhaps in one case (or more?) caused her to no longer be willing - or interested - in giving herself as she was meant to do, and wanted to do, and needed to do. For that, I cannot forgive myself. I hope she (they?) will realize, or has realized, that the problem in no way lay in her, and that she can find someone worthy of what she has to give.

 

[Zinfandel]

My sis, who is my favorite person in the world, just called and her latest round of interviews (2.5 days of literally non-stop interviews, dinners, job talks, etc.) for her first post-PhD university job went well!!!

They kept talking about her as "our candidate" (although it's hard to figure out what they really meant by that it sounds good, right?) and the pay would be very decent. If she gets it, this will be her 2nd job offer.

She's had a hard, hard 2 years, getting out of a really terrible relationship at the same time she was finishing her thesis, teaching for peanuts, putting up with terrible weather when she has terrible migraines, getting out slews upon slews of job applications, etc.

Anyway, thank you for letting me celebrate!



~ Neon

Your excitement and pride in her is contagious!

 

[Zinfandel]

Over the past year, I've discovered - no, let's be honest: admitted to myself - that I am just not cut out for a "relationship." I'm too selfish. I'm too lazy. I don't love myself enough to be able to truly give love to someone else. I don't want to - or can't - maintain the level of effort required to keep a continuing relationship going. I want what I want when I want it, and when something else strikes my fancy, I want that.

I suppose the best answer for me would be to be fabulously wealthy and have a harem. That way, none of them would expect my full attention at any time other than when I sent for them, and I could indulge my adult attention deficit disorder to my own satisfaction. Since I'm not likely to become fabulously wealthy in the foreseeable future, that option is probably out.

The next best scenario, I suppose, would be to be honest with myself - and others - and admit that yes, I'd love to play, I'd love to beat your ass, Dom you, Top you, but don't look for love, commitment, or a long-term relationship. I'll move on when something new comes up.

What hurts is that I've hurt others by not seeing and accepting this facet of myself... and not in the way I like to hurt people, or they like to be hurt. I've hurt them emotionally, wounded them, and perhaps in one case (or more?) caused her to no longer be willing - or interested - in giving herself as she was meant to do, and wanted to do, and needed to do. For that, I cannot forgive myself. I hope she (they?) will realize, or has realized, that the problem in no way lay in her, and that she can find someone worthy of what she has to give.

Self-reflection can be very difficult, and very painful. I applaud your courage to post a truth about yourself, even to anonymous strangers, that seems like it has been hard for you to face.

Your last paragraph though indicates (to me) that you are compassionate and kind when it comes to your partners, perhaps more than you realize. That you've considered how your actions may have impacted them shows empathy, and that's much more than many are capable of. Please do forgive yourself - I'm certain she has, or will.

 

[TooTiredToLive]

...Please do forgive yourself - I'm certain she has, or will.

Thank you for the kind words... but even if she were to forgive me, I think it will be a long, long time - if ever - before I forgive myself for hurting such a wonderful person the way I hurt her.

 

[CutieMouse]

*banging my head against the desk*

 

[Yang4yin]

*sliding a pillow between her head and the desk*

 

[minx1]

why is life so damn complicated?

 

[trisquel_astur]

*banging my head against the desk*

*asking her to use a helmet before to do it!*

 

[trisquel_astur]

why is life so damn complicated?

Maybe because we are not perfects.

But at least is not boried!

 

[minx1]

Maybe because we are not perfects.

But at least is not boried!

*hugs* thanks Angel, I will try and remember that.

 

[trisquel_astur]

It was a man that told that is better die for a knife in New York than of boriing in Moscow...

It was the times of the former URSS, of course. But in general I agree.

Now, I prefer Moscow than NY. It's all but boriing!

 

[Etoile]

If it gets any more humid, the air is going to start sweating.

 

[WriterDom]

If it gets any more humid, the air is going to start sweating.

Well, I was a july baby pre-AC. It can't get hot enough for me.

 

[neonflux]

Your excitement and pride in her is contagious!

WOO HOO!

Thank you!!! UPDATE: She got the job!!!

 

[TooTiredToLive]

Congratulations to her... and to you, for being so supportive - and proud - of her.

 

[graceanne]

Another . .

WOO HOO!

 

[neonflux]

graceanne, TooTiredToLive, Thank you both for the congrats!

 

[Yang4yin]

URSS? Don't you mean USSR?

 

[TooTiredToLive]

URSS? Don't you mean USSR?

I think perhaps in Espana, where trisquel_astur is from, the USSR was referred to as the URSS due to the Latin propensity for placing nouns and adjectives in different places than do those of us whose first language is English.

But if you really want to get it right, it's CCCP - that's the way the Soviets did it.

 

[Yang4yin]

I think perhaps in Espana, where trisquel_astur is from, the USSR was referred to as the URSS due to the Latin propensity for placing nouns and adjectives in different places than do those of us whose first language is English.

But if you really want to get it right, it's CCCP - that's the way the Soviets did it.

Good points!
My apologies.

 

[Stegral]

thinking out loud...

*ponders how to tell a Dom to press harder, without hurting his ego or "topping from the bottom"*

the tree I got drawn on my back last night is nice...
but not quite as deep as I would have liked it...

(thinks my Dom is going soft on me )

P.S. I play with warternburg wheels, a wire brush, a vampire mitten & a knife...

 

[CutieMouse]

today licked balls. blech.

 

[Shankara20]

today licked balls. blech.

nothing to say


so much I could say

but


nothing to say