The Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

[SubKekiLee]

Once in and out of bed always a girlfriend.

Sorry, it's just one of the things you learn when they give you your toaster.

Yes I know what your saying Net... My best friend sleeps next to me and we hang out and people think we are lovers.. I think it is funny people judge without even trying to figure it out or ask ....

 

[CutieMouse]

Once in and out of bed always a girlfriend.

Sorry, it's just one of the things you learn when they give you your toaster.

*snort*

Maybe it's like gaydar or something? We live together, we aren't overly huggy or hang-on-ish, we read each other's minds like we've been married 25 years, and every flipping man on the planet (down to the guy who reads the water meter and checker at the grocery store) catches 2 minutes of us around each other, and it's like you can see his brain hit the "holy shit... and they're both readheads" place, and you can tell he's off in fantasy-land.

 

[Netzach]

*snort*

Maybe it's like gaydar or something? We live together, we aren't overly huggy or hang-on-ish, we read each other's minds like we've been married 25 years, and every flipping man on the planet (down to the guy who reads the water meter and checker at the grocery store) catches 2 minutes of us around each other, and it's like you can see his brain hit the "holy shit... and they're both readheads" place, and you can tell he's off in fantasy-land.

Does not blame the meter reader.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Yes I know what your saying Net... My best friend sleeps next to me and we hang out and people think we are lovers.. I think it is funny people judge without even trying to figure it out or ask ....

*cough*

 

[DeservingBitch]

*snort*

Maybe it's like gaydar or something? We live together, we aren't overly huggy or hang-on-ish, we read each other's minds like we've been married 25 years, and every flipping man on the planet (down to the guy who reads the water meter and checker at the grocery store) catches 2 minutes of us around each other, and it's like you can see his brain hit the "holy shit... and they're both readheads" place, and you can tell he's off in fantasy-land.

Cutie, could you please tell me how you do it? Please? I have the exact opposite problem. Nobody's gaydar goes on when I enter a room, and every flipping man on the planet does not believe one second that I ain't straight.

On a more serious note: people tend to see and believe what they want to see and believe.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Cutie, could you please tell me how you do it? Please? I have the exact opposite problem. Nobody's gaydar goes on when I enter a room, and every flipping man on the planet does not believe one second that I ain't straight.

On a more serious note: people tend to see and believe what they want to see and believe.

Maybe they don't want to believe that you are gay..

 

[DeservingBitch]

Maybe they don't want to believe that you are gay..

Obviously. Not that it is so much of a concern. What's more annoying is that the target audience doesn't read me as gay either.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Obviously. Not that it is so much of a concern. What's more annoying is that the target audience doesn't read me as gay either.

Now THAT could be a problem. Why do you think that is?

 

[DeservingBitch]

Now THAT could be a problem. Why do you think that is?

A combination of factors I suppose, but mostly I think because I perform 'femme'.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

A combination of factors I suppose, but mostly I think because I perform 'femme'.

Okay.. now you lost me. I don't mean to be dense.. but I also don't claim to know a whole lot about the gay scene. The closest I can come to understanding what you just said would be "lipstick lesbian".

 

[DeservingBitch]

Okay.. now you lost me. I don't mean to be dense.. but I also don't claim to know a whole lot about the gay scene. The closest I can come to understanding what you just said would be "lipstick lesbian".

yep. same thing. many (such as myself) in the queer community prefer the term 'femme' because it is not as loaded as the term 'lipstick lesbian': the later tends to have a negative connotation, often implies 'not lesbian enough', and is also exclusive in terms of gender/sexual preference.

besides, I rarely wear lipstick.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

yep. same thing. many (such as myself) in the queer community prefer the term 'femme' because it is not as loaded as the term 'lipstick lesbian': the later tends to have a negative connotation, often implies 'not lesbian enough', and is also exclusive in terms of gender/sexual preference.

besides, I rarely wear lipstick.

I wasn't trying to label you.. was justing a term I knew the meaning of/ had a handle on.

Without trying to be an asshat.. how do lesbians normally meet? I know there are the stereotypical "gay bars" but other than that and online.. how would you normally approach a woman that you were attracted to?

 

[DeservingBitch]

I wasn't trying to label you.. was justing a term I knew the meaning of/ had a handle on.

I didn't read it as you trying to label me.

Without trying to be an asshat.. how do lesbians normally meet? I know there are the stereotypical "gay bars" but other than that and online.. how would you normally approach a woman that you were attracted to?

Well, given that queer women are also people you know , I generally go for the typical strategy: introduce myself or get a common aquaintance to introduce us, talk to her, invite her out, find ways to spend time with her alone and better get to know her, give her some attention, etc. My gaydar fucking sucks on first impressions, but if she isn't queer or simply not interested, it usually becomes easy to tell after a few conversations.

Now, if you wanna know my strategy to get in a girl's pants, I have only one word for you: pic-nic. Winter sucks for that though.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Now, if you wanna know my strategy to get in a girl's pants, I have only one word for you: pic-nic. Winter sucks for that though.

In winter couldn't you take 'em up to the cabin in the woods? Forget that the heater is broken.. build a fire.. have to share the same blanket..?

Seeing as we have the same objective in mind.. (the seduction of women) might as well compare notes

Seriously though.. wouldn't your level of success depend on the level of sophistication of the community? I would think you'd be more likely to be accepted as lesbian (to me "gay" implies a male homosexual) in a bigger city than say a rural community.

 

[the captians wench]

I must be pmsing, I'm feeling very lonesome thismorning.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Seriously though.. wouldn't your level of success depend on the level of sophistication of the community? I would think you'd be more likely to be accepted as lesbian (to me "gay" implies a male homosexual) in a bigger city than say a rural community.

Well, larger urban centre are somewhat easier because there is a larger queer population, and also because there are generally a larger range of queer organizations, groups, events, and places to meet other queer people.

But your question was how do I approach a woman I'm attracted to. My response is: no differently than straight people or gay male do with people they are attracted to: I try to create some opening for us to get to spend time together and get to know each other, and everything follows from there. If she's not interested -- either because she's not queer or because she's simply not interested -- I'll know.

 

[FungiUg]

[...]2 minutes of us around each other, [...] and they're both readheads

Okay, so I lost the plot right about there.

 

[DomWharfsBitch]

I must be pmsing, I'm feeling very lonesome thismorning.

Hugs to you this morning Wench..Hope you feel better as the day goes on...

 

[Netzach]

A combination of factors I suppose, but mostly I think because I perform 'femme'.

I'm also fairly femme, though on the andro side. And honestly, I think that feminine intuition is overrated. When I date a girl, I have to be jumped to have any idea if she's actually interested. I don't set off anyone's 'dar, or if they realize I'm very avidly bi - well there are all kinds of assumptions about the nature of my sexuality and desire (softness of a woman my big ol' ass) and motives. I have no easy solution, but expect the problem is way more widespread than just me.

Oh, and WTF is it that when I do finally find a really hot bar night or party every single woman is partnered to every other woman but me?

 

[LadyAgie]

This is a first for me. 4 posts in one day

 

[northwoods_sub]

I'm with you Netz, unless a woman actually grabs me I have no clue that she is interested. However, my Husband can spot when someone is interested in me a mile away . Apparently his gaydar is better than mine.

 

[myinnerslut]

pretending everything is normal pretending everything is normal pretending preteending pretending

wake up, get dressed, eat, do what i have to do, smile, dont let anyone in, go about your day

dont let anyone know how much im falling apart. how do you explain to the world why you put yourself through this pain.

why does he control my heart when will he forgive me ive been living in limbo for two days please forgive me im ready to crumble inside and all the while pretending for the world that im happy, content, wonderful.

how do you explain to the world the pain searing into your body from his disapointment. furious. hes furious. ive never seen him this mad. in two years i have never made him this mad.


please dont respond to this, dont pm me, i just needed to rant , to let some of this out somewhere of ill explode.

 

[SubKekiLee]

*cough*

SHUDDUP Christopher!

 

[Etoile]

Today I am going to get a major haircut for the first time since 1999. I'm scared.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I'm also fairly femme, though on the andro side. And honestly, I think that feminine intuition is overrated. When I date a girl, I have to be jumped to have any idea if she's actually interested. I don't set off anyone's 'dar, or if they realize I'm very avidly bi - well there are all kinds of assumptions about the nature of my sexuality and desire (softness of a woman my big ol' ass) and motives. I have no easy solution, but expect the problem is way more widespread than just me.

I've never bought into feminine intuition. But then it may just be because I'm bitter from not having been given any.

I'm kind of bad too in reading other people's interest in me, but usually, after it has been made clear that I'm queer, it becomes more obvious whether or not they're interested.

Oh, and WTF is it that when I do finally find a really hot bar night or party every single woman is partnered to every other woman but me?

I hear you. Same here. Shame that we live far away: we could go to hot party together! And then maybe have a faceslapping fest afterwards?