The Lady’s Hand (A Dickings & Dalliances Adventure) - (Closed Except By Invitation)

[ICM8781]

"Then stay wrong. No skin off my banana"

Chasen walks back in the direction away from the man when he sees the guard approaching.

"Whatever event you are all talking about must have had some great smoke and weed, I tell you. No clue what everyone's talking about. Come guys, lets go."

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

Amie nods. "That's probably for the best." She addresses the two aggrieved nobles. "The King will be making a pronouncement later today. I suggest you look out for that."

The woman looks scandalized. "My husband was killed last night, and you want me to just wait?" She shakes her head. "He's been out of sorts all morning!"

Lord Fligeure agrees. "I'm not going to sit on my thumbs while these evil-doers roam free!" He starts scanning the crowd.

Wylo hols out a handful of mushrooms. "I get cranky when I'm hungry, too."

The nobleman just stares at him, eyes wide.

Maritia gently pushes on Wylo and Sprite's backs. "Let's just move along."

"They're very good fungi..." Wylo mutters as he allows himself to be moved along.

 

[ICM8781]

"Absolutely, right. Particularly after a good binge. Probably all hung over."

 

[Poprockz]

Arx raised her eyebrow at Laritz, still unaware that he was a god of pranks. “Do you have a fetish for cuckoldry? Anyway, I’m here to ask if you guys have any zany weapons or items I might be awarded before I head off to another major city. A way to locate the people in the list, a fertility charm, a contraceptive, I don’t know. Something like that.” She shrugged.

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

Yenda frowns, and Laritz smiles. "Cuckoldry? No. I'm the god of pranks, my dear Arx. That was masterful. You really got me good."

He opens his mouth to say more, but Yenda cuts him off. "We've actually commissioned a few pieces for you, but nothing for fertility or contraception. You'll eventually be able to cast those yourself, however, as you grow in power."

Laritz's smile gets wider. "I think you'll like what we've had made for you, but I also have another tip."

He pauses, long enough that Yenda rolls her eyes. "It's not the tip of his cock."

"Fine," Laritz mutters, then looks at Arx more intently. "You need to have that necklace of yours inspected by a wizard."

"Those maps you and the harpy have found, too," Yenda scolds. "You're really not following up on some important things, you know."












The rest of the walk to Vindra's is uneventful, although the group can hear an increasingly vocal crowd gather in front of the palace as they walk away. The smithy itself is a rough-and-tumble structure of dark wood and light stone, half outdoors with smoke billowing out of a handful of chimneys. As they enter, a young human man with greasy hands gives them a friendly nod. "What can we do for you?"

 

[ICM8781]

"Good day, sir. Um, let's see. Light or medium armor for me preferably light, bows, daggers, and if you got some non-lethals, would love a peek at those as well."

Chasen plopps his backpack down and starts to rummage through.

"I don't have a lot to exchange, but I'm sure they'd be worth something to you, if only scrap. All standard issue stuff I'm afraid, hence why I'm looking for an upgrade."

Chasen takes out his armor, unholsters his dagger and club, and shows the smithy the flip side of his backpack where is bow is currently attached.

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

The young man walks Chasen past the forge, where a fit dwarven woman with forge-fire hair pounds steel wearing a sleeveless tunic. On a set of shelves sit various pieces of armor. Gesturing to the light armor section, he says "Best light we have is studded leather. I can give it to you for 50 gold pieces." He scratches his chin. “Vindra’ll have to tell you what she’ll give you for your old stuff. She’ll finish up in a minute.”

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

A few minutes later, the dwarf was between projects, and the young man flagged her down.

“Welcome to Vindra’s,” she said to Chasen as she wiped her hands on a damp cloth. “Best smithy in Rionne. What can I do for ya?”

She held out a hand for Chasen’s, and after a firm shake, she started sifted through his things. “Condition’s not bad, considering the wear…I could give you 36 for these four pieces, and most of that’s for the bow. A little polish and re-stringing, I’d be able to make a little something on that, but not much.”

 

[Poprockz]

The god of pranks, huh? That certainly tracked. Perhaps that was why he had such big balls- one had to if they were going to pull of the sort of Godly stunts he aimed for.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the creepy necklace…” It had been hanging out on her wrist the whole time, yet she felt like the thing was almost trying to conceal itself from notice. The maps had been largely forgotten what with everything that had unfolded. Still, if they thought it was important to check out, then she would.

“Okay, if you guys think I should, then I’ll check it out. As for the stuff you commissioned for me… do I have to do anything for them? Like I know you guys are my patrons, but don’t Gods usually take offerings? I’ve got gold, some jewels, I may even have some sand, though I can’t imagine why you would want some.”

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

“Well, it’ll hurt a bit,” Laritz says cryptically.

“Not much,” Yenda adds with a smile. “And you don’t need to give us an—“

“Sand!” Laritz yells, a wild gleam in his eyes. “We’ll take the sand!”

Yenda looks at him like he’s just kicked a puppy. “I don’t want any s—“

“Leaveitonthealtarinabigpileoryouwon’tgetanymoreblessingsokaybye!”

Arx immediately wakes up in the temple. Little time has passed and Cline is approaching her from behind the uncleared rubble.

 

[justspitballing]

If simple studded leather was the best armor here, magical gear was unlikely. Sprite sighed. A harpy's smith would be full to the brim of killed animals, repurposed into the most exotic and powerful weapons. A manticore's tail turned into a whip, a trolls skin turned into proper leather that could never be fully cut through, and that was the default. Having the city revolting against them was bad enough, she didn't want this outing to turn out to be a bust.

"I don't have anything to trade, but I have some gold to spend. I want to see the best axe you can make," Sprite says to the dwarf, not feeling to bad about butting in.

"It would have to be better made then this one," Sprite then goes on, lifting up her weapon.

"If not, which I can't blame you if you can't top it, then I wouldn't mind having this weapon silvered. Silvering the skirt of my armor would also be helpful if possible," she concludes. If anymore devils showed up they needed to be ready.

 

[ICM8781]

Chasen shakes Vindra's hand affirmatively.

"That's not a bad price for them, though of course I'll need to replace them. To be honest, I expected a kingdom smithy to work with the wizards to imbue your stuff. This stuff seems pretty standard. There a back room or something to find the good stuff?"

Chasen juggled 2 gold in his hands as a hint he was willing to bribe and/or overpay for the more restricted stuff or some made-to-order stuff that will have to take a little longer for the customer to get.

 

[Poprockz]

She blinked.

So… he wanted sand? Maybe he wanted to throw it in someone’s eye (hopefully not Yenda’s). They hadn’t even told her how they were going to give her the promised items. She doubted they had enough power to make them float down on a ray of Godly light; more likely that it would just plunk down from the heavens with hopes and wishes that it didn’t land on her head. She would have to be… very careful of falling objects in the future.

Welp, the altar wasn’t getting any sandier. Arx started to dig through her pack, looking for that small jar of sand she liked to carry around. It had a lot of sentimental value to her, so in some ways it could be seen as a legitimate offering. She shuddered to think what they had originally wanted from her.

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

Amie, overhearing the conversation, quickly steps to Vindra’s side. “My dear, DeGaulier is…no longer in charge of anything. The laws against ruin-delving are lifted. The extra scrutiny for supplying adventurers is over. You can show them your enchanted gear.”

The dwarf sighs in relief. “Oh, thank the gods. Even the Expectant.” She waved them into a side room. A new selection of weapons and armor lined the walls. She smirked at Chasen. “I think we can find you some more options here.”

Then, she looked Sprite up and down, with piercing scrutiny. After a few moments of consideration, she nodded. “I can silver the skirt for 100.” A few more moments of thought. “I think I know what you would like. But it would take time, and gold…”













Cline walked up to Arx. “Champion! I…” He lowered his eyes and shook his head. “Of course. I don’t know why I didn’t expect this. Our Lady must’ve guided you here to receive her gifts. I have them in the back, if you’d like to come with me…”

 

[Poprockz]

Arx was in a completely different form, and yet he had recognized her as “their champion.” Had the Gods told him to seek her out? Yeah, that had to be it.

“Oh, okay. One sec.” She walked up to the altar, unscrewing the cap on her jar and dumping all the sand inside it on the altar. Included in the sand were a few shells, a marble, a coin, a surprisingly a lollipop. God, it got everywhere, even if she did try to make it one heaping pile. Oof, it was probably going to be a bitch to clean. Well, perhaps as much of a bitch as the rest of the rubble.

With her Holy task complete, she went back over to Cline, intent on following him.

 

[justspitballing]

"We may not have the time, but we do have the gold. At least let me know, I will be forever thankful for any help," Sprite said to Vindra.

The new selection of weapons did look impressive so Sprite was very interested in hearing what was to be offered.

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

“A Wind Axe,” Vindra says, “hits hardest when you’re charging into battle. And you seem like the charging type.” She plucks a spear off a hook. It’s well-made and brand new, with jade and copper accents on the head and shaft. “Made a few of these lately, ‘s why I thought of it, and it’d be easy to have the same enchantment put on an axe. I could do it in a week for 450.”

She turned to Chasen. “Dagger, bow, and club, eh? Which do you want to talk about first? What gets the most use?”






Cline sighs. “Oh good, it is y…” He trails off, looking increasingly broken-hearted. “Why…are you pouring sand on the Lady’s altar?” His face looks his very faith hangs on the answer.

 

[ICM8781]

Chasen smiles at the change in direction things have gotten. He looks at Vindra and smiles.

"Must feel good to really be able to show off your talent."

He looks at the goods in the side room. and marvels.

"I'm the sniper of the group right now. Maybe a slick armour would help so I don't get pinned. And while we already have a master of blending in I wouldn't mind seeing a shadow armour if you got it." He continues as he looks at his weapons. "As far as weapons go, we are heading into political and diplomatic risk up ahead. If you have merciful weapons or some other non-lethals. Need info more than we need death. Probably should avoid it if nessesary. And I'm always happy trying out a speed weapon."

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

"Slick armor?" Vindra asks. "Haven't had anyone ask for that in a while. It's quite pricey, but I could make it. 4,000. Shadow armor's even more, too. I'd have to go to a different wizard than my usual enchanter. 12,000gp. Could I recommend some armor made of studded camouflage leather? 500 gp."

"If you're looking to escape dangerous situations, I've got some arrows of teleportation. I could let those go for 180gp each. I've also got arrows of sleep for 120gp each. Arrows of web for 150. If those are too steep for you, I've got arrows of stink for 60 gp." She looks around the room. "Those are my best non-lethal options."

She gestures towards the weapons. "And of course I've got standard +1 and +2 bows, daggers, and clubs. Are you looking for anything more interesting with those?"

 

[justspitballing]

"450 sounds very fair, and the 100 to silver my armor sounds proper as well. Of course, I'm not an island in this case. It is Chasen's call in a way if he wants a lot of equipment of his own," Sprite smiles.

A Wind Axe, with her might behind it, could end most fights in the first blow. It would be well worth the cost.

 

[ICM8781]

"Let's look at bows +1 and +2."

Uh, Kingdom prices, cheap if you want cheap. Overpriced if you want anything else.

He figured he could keep his armour and donate to sprite to get a good weapon for her. He also might need to save some for a spell book, but maybe it would be best to keep the frontline.

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

"Sure," Vindra says with a nod. She pulls down a pair of bows from hooks in the wall. "550 for the +1, and 5,000 for the +2."

 

[Poprockz]

Arx gave the priest a slightly offended look, “what do you mean? The Gods wanted an offering and I gave it to them. It might not mean anything to you, but that sand was precious to me. That sand was all I have from home, and now it’s here. Perhaps They wanted me to know that my home will always be in their temple, or maybe they measure its worth in sentimental value. All I know is that you’re judging me right now and it’s not cool.” With her rant finished, she huffed and crossed her arms at him, her breasts bulging slightly from her dress.

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

Cline lowered his eyes and blushed. "Of course, Champion. I apologize." He suddenly seemed to get nervous, shuffling his feet and frowning. "I...um, if you'll come with me..." He turned and started walking toward the back, under the half-collapsed stairway. He kept looking back at Arx, like he wasn't sure if he wanted her to follow or not.

 

[Poprockz]

She followed him, wondering what his deal was. Did he now think she was unworthy or something? It wasn't like she was really invested in the whole Yenda/Laritz thing, but for some reason his looks bugged her. Arx knew the congregation was obsessed with "purity" and all that, so maybe he disapproved of her choice of dress. Whatever the case was, she was considering bullying him into spilling his guts about what his problem was.

"You keep looking at me like I'm something unpleasant. Why is that?" Her tone was a bit combative, still pouting.