The Literotica Tattler

[EarthquakeMan]

Re: Re: The Literotica Tattler

Two of my Very favorite people in Business together, while in Business together! (you did realize that phone sex is business, Now didnt you?) ~chuckle~
Now this is a good day to renew all subscriptions and start NEW ONES! count me in for a subscription!

*hugs-N-kisses* The Best of Luck you two on your new adventure

Yes Michael, Blessings to! *Smile*

Ah, celestial blessings bestowed upon The Tattler. Can a Pulitzer be far behind?

 

[GoddessOfSouls]

Re: Re: Re: The Literotica Tattler

Ah, celestial blessings bestowed upon The Tattler. Can a Pulitzer be far behind?

~chuckle~
When you and the lovely Elizabeth put your heads or behinds together WELL my friend, Blessings abound and I think by now you both realize that


The real Trophy's in life are the ones we carry inside our hearts.
Keep yours filled with Love and humor and you will always be a success

 

[Raindear816]

Re: Re: Re: Re: The Literotica Tattler

~chuckle~
When you and the lovely Elizabeth put your heads or behinds together WELL my friend, Blessings abound and I think by now you both realize that


The real Trophy's in life are the ones we carry inside our hearts.
Keep yours filled with Love and humor and you will always be a success

Hey bosses, I vote that Goddess should hold a lil Lit nook of inspirational sayings. She seems to have a real talent for that.

 

[EarthquakeMan]

It wasn't the prize I'm not enthusiastic about. I know red personally so I knew who the mystery litzen is.

The Tattler has it's first prizewinner. Brie, you are destined to be forever a part of this publication's illustrious history.

 

[EarthquakeMan]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Literotica Tattler

Hey bosses, I vote that Goddess should hold a lil Lit nook of inspirational sayings. She seems to have a real talent for that.

And there are rumors she has a crystal ball. Maybe she can tell us when our first slander lawsuit will be arriving on the doorstep of The Tattler.

Guess we'll need an attorney, too. And maybe a bodyguard.

Time to go hide at the pool.

 

[Raindear816]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Literotica Tattler

And there are rumors she has a crystal ball. Maybe she can tell us when our first slander lawsuit will be arriving on the doorstep of The Tattler.

Guess we'll need an attorney, too. And maybe a bodyguard.

Time to go hide at the pool.

slander lawsuit? !!!

Oh she could be the Tattler's Goddess...like Miss Cleo on t.v., only legit !

 

[tonitits]

Sign me up, I want to stay on top of things, too! Great idea guys! Hugs to both of you. (((((((((Michael and Elizabeth)))))))))) you little devils you!

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Sign me up, I want to stay on top of things, too! Great idea guys! Hugs to both of you. (((((((((Michael and Elizabeth)))))))))) you little devils you!

Sorry we missed you Toni, but Michael and I both had to step out of the office for a short while and get some things taken care of.

Glad to hear you liked the first edition of the Tattler and I've got ya down for that subscription and I hope you enjoy all future installments.

Hugs to you, sweet friend.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

That new mast head looks really great, love. We make a damn good team, I think!

 

[cookiejar]

That new mast head looks really great, love. We make a damn good team, I think!

I love it...I will be submitting my first report later today. I'm new at this...

 

[ram1_2]

Letter From the Editors

Literotica has twelve Irish Bars and no newspapers. We seek to remedy that by publishing The Tattler, Lit's paper of record. Ably assisted by my lovely and talented co-editor Elizabeth (Lit nic P3) we'll search the corners of Lit for important news and publish The Tattler whenever we aren't busy having phone sex.


http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gif Welcome Wagon

A regular feature of The Tattler will be to welcome Lit newcomers. In this edition we extend our hearty greetings to Edwarlife. As Ed explains in his profile he enjoys gourmet vegetarian cooking, writing, and hiking. He also had his first orgasm humping a woman's thigh, aspires to lick Kate Winslet's armpits, enjoys women with cellulite and men with small penises, savors the aroma of a clean ass or a stinky pussy, and licks his own balls. We welcome Ed to the Lit Community and hope he has fun here in the few remaining days before he is arrested.

http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gif Name that Litizen!

We at the Tattler like games. For our inaugural edition we present "Name that Litizen!" Name this week's mystery Litizen and receive a free chalupa from our proud sponsor Taco Bell - Think outside the bun, spanking is fun!

Our mystery Litizen's quote: "smiling dotdotdotdot lady of ny dotdotdotdot smiling dotdotdotdot you are special dotdotdotdot kissing you dotdotdotdot smiling dotdotdotdot lady of nc dotdotdotdot you are special dotdotdotdot smiling dotdotdotdot you are all special dotdotdotdot dotdotdotdot dotdotdotdot smiling dot."


http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gif Best Lit Blurts

The Tattler is proud to present the best of Lit's wit and wisdom.

Screw subtle. Get "Eat Me" tattooed on your belly and we'll go from there. ~ LukkyKnight

I'm at the end of my small infatuation with you. Took less time than I expected. ~ Cleo32

I feel chemistry between us. The name is Bond, Covalent Bond. Would you like to share an electron? ~ Lady Christabel

Shit fire and save matches. I'm out of batteries for my vibe. ~ Raindear816

Can we post this silly thing now and get back to having phone sex? ~ EarthquakeMan



http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gifDon't Miss the Next Edition of the Literotica Tattler!

It's campaign season and The Tattler will bring you up close and personal insights into the candidates. In our next edition we'll have an advance preview of John Kerry's (Lit nic WaffleMan) spread in the Amateur Pic Forum. You'll see Kerry's limp noodle as he poses naked, wearing only flip-flops. And The Tattler will have an exclusive interview with the always zany Vice-President Dick Cheney (Lit nic PuppetMaster) as he recounts the hilarious evening when he first shaved a bush.



Unavailable at newstands everywhere, The Literotica Tattler is published with 100% recyclable material.

Superb! Reminds me of of the online version of 'Private Eye'. I'll take an annual subscription and hand delivery, please!

 

[Raindear816]

Superb! Reminds me of of the online version of 'Private Eye'. I'll take an annual subscription and hand delivery, please!

it is great isn't it sweeting?

 

[tonitits]

Sorry we missed you Toni, but Michael and I both had to step out of the office for a short while and get some things taken care of.

Glad to hear you liked the first edition of the Tattler and I've got ya down for that subscription and I hope you enjoy all future installments.

Hugs to you, sweet friend.

np sweetie! I figured ya'll were out digging up some real juicy information for us! Hugs to you both!

 

[Dumpling]

YEAHHHHHHH

Yup GREAT Idea
I Like to Subscribe,hope you have a section where Readers can
reply to all the untruths told on there (gossip)
Congrats and good Luck Ling

 

[biggbear8]

Dear Editor

can you please sing me up for a subscription I need some good reading material

 

[Feistyred16]

Congrats!

Michael & Elizabeth...
Love the new idea...
Make sure you have lots of Moral Slippage...
You know Litzens thrive on 'da dirt...

Good Luck you two!
Hugs & 's

P.S.
Don't forget my subscription...wouldn't miss it with my coffee every morning

 

[EarthquakeMan]

I love it...I will be submitting my first report later today. I'm new at this...

I was just joking when I said we were looking for someone to go topless behind enemy lines.

A reporter on a mission!

 

[EarthquakeMan]

Superb! Reminds me of of the online version of 'Private Eye'. I'll take an annual subscription and hand delivery, please!

Your V.I.P charter subscription has been logged and will be hand delivered by Ashleigh.

 

[EarthquakeMan]

And adding to our list of charter subscribers: Bear & Ling. Thanks for reading!

 

[~Elizabeth~]

I was just joking when I said we were looking for someone to go topless behind enemy lines.

A reporter on a mission!

Shhhh, I bet she'll get more answers being topless. What man can resist her?

 

[EarthquakeMan]

Congrats!

Michael & Elizabeth...
Love the new idea...
Make sure you have lots of Moral Slippage...
You know Litzens thrive on 'da dirt...

Good Luck you two!
Hugs & 's

P.S.
Don't forget my subscription...wouldn't miss it with my coffee every morning

Deb

Thanks for subscribing!

Moral Slippage coming right up for ya, with our first Tattlertorial . . .

 

[EarthquakeMan]

Tattlertorial

http://img62.photobucket.com/albums/v188/HisGreenEyedGirl/Tattlertorial.gif





Being Literotica’s only newspaper of record carries with it the burden and responsibility of editorializing on important issues of the day.

In the course of our relentless newsgathering we learn that ~ Dream ~ is having phone sex with prison inmates. While we applaud ~Dream~’s appetite and hunting skills, we at The Tattler see this as an ominous development for our Lit Community. Our latest census indicates that, excluding Tattler staff, there are only six fully functional heterosexual males remaining on Lit (biggbear8, Ammo44, Tn_8tiv, Ammo44, islander01, and Ammo44). In contrast, there are 1,877,314 incarcerated men in the United States willing to engage in endless self-gratification. And they pump iron.

While the females of Lit may view this as a previously unimagined bounty of orgasmic riches, we fear an exodus of men discouraged and defeated by the ease with which Lit ladies can reach out and touch someone behind bars.

We at The Tattler harbor no illusions as to how little the male population contributes to the welfare of our Lit community, but we do appreciate their knitting skills. And it has long been our belief that Lit should be sexually diverse, except for Edwarlife. Lit needs its men. So we encourage all of our subscribers to PM your local Congressman and urge them to pass legislation to take away either the prisoners’ phones or their penises.

 

[69forever]

Sign me up please...

As soon as possible, where am I needed? Gossip Columnist? Advice Guru? Or as Michael so ably put it War correspondent on the GB?

I'd like a full subscription as well....unless I get it for free for being a contributing staffer. Seeing as how certain Litizens insist on attacking my character and calling me a posting slut...I may as well use my travels around Lit. to some good.

Great idea Elizabeth and Michael!

 

[cookiejar]

War of The Words

By Cookiejar...Roving correspondent at large


As I wandered the boards, I tried to decide what my first story for "The Tattler" would be. Should I write about the Playground and it's long siglines? The General Board and it's political threads? The Author's Hangout and its alleged superiority? No, for my first story I decided to look into "The Literotica Wars." The ongoing battle between The Playground and the General Boards.

Were there actually "WMD's" on the GB? Should the PG be allowed to run itself or should an interim board take over? Could the Author's Hangout, the BDSM Forum, the How to Forum, and the GLBT form a coalition and undertake peace keeping duties?

This reporter perused the Literotica archives and found some examples of the verbal skirmishes:

"The Playgrounders that have ventured into the GB have demonstrated a remarkable lack of reading comprehension. Maybe we should drop pictures of flowers and bunnies instead, to let them know we come in peace."

"The GB is for the dickheads who just want to argue,putdown & flame anyone that they don't agree with so if you want to be dicktated to in how your meant to think go to the GB & enjoy yourself....as for me I still use my brain so I'm quite happy here with ppl I've made friends with & some who are now R/L friends."

"It's like the Hanns thing...even the simplest acknowledgment is a demerit. Dedicating a thread to those dinks? To warn them of our *mean-ness*? Fuck...Maybe we can make mud balls and build a fort, too."


The encounters are not limited to only GBers and PGers, the Author's Hangout and even the Chat People have made a few sorties of their own:


"As long as the original question is answered in some way I see no real harm in a bit of banter between friends.
Or even a minor dispute, as long as it doesn't degenerate to general board level."

"I'm not an author, i'm not even very clever, i come here occasionally because i've friends here, not a clique of suedo friends talking on one subject only and ignoring strangers with an 'obvious cold shoulder' as the more high-brow members of a/h do mostly."

"A few friendly intelligent people of higher calibre than you find on the general board normally, (one point i agree with **** on is the g/b's constant childish crap)
***** one liner's would be lost on the g/b, it would be over most of their heads."

"uh moron, the cm's are gone so you can all quit bitching. the cms are gone, now go back to chat. dont you all have better things to do, or is the real truth that you had nothing against the cm's, that you just like to whine?"

"Personally i think lit should remove the chat room, seems to cause attract very immature people, who have problems with any authority, the petty gossip he-said-she-said shit on this thread makes me yearn for a good troll hunt thread. oh, they let soandso type in all caps, lets have a fit over it! grow up losers or at least go back to chat, quit filling the bb up with your moronic highschool whining."

What is next? I say that Lit is better than this, but if we must fight among ourselves, let's do it right. I have come up with a few ideas:

"The Battle of the Bulge"...men from each board could post their equipment. Judging categories ... "Biggest and smallest dicks" ... "Lowest hanging balls" ... "Longest cumshot."

"Tittysburg"...the ladies could post their boobs with judging categories such as "Biggest and smallest hooters"... "Nipples that put an eye out" ... and "Fuckable tits."


The constant hostilities and attacks must end! Good people from each side are leaving Lit as we speak. Make love not war!

 

[CharlotteNCguy]

War of The Words

By Cookiejar...Roving correspondent at large


The constant hostilities and attacks must end! Good people from each side are leaving Lit as we speak. Make love not war!

I agree! - Great commentary Cookie...