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cookiejar said:
War of The Words

By Cookiejar...Roving correspondent at large


As I wandered the boards, I tried to decide what my first story for "The Tattler" would be. Should I write about the Playground and it's long siglines? The General Board and it's political threads? The Author's Hangout and its alleged superiority? No, for my first story I decided to look into "The Literotica Wars." The ongoing battle between The Playground and the General Boards.

Were there actually "WMD's" on the GB? Should the PG be allowed to run itself or should an interim board take over? Could the Author's Hangout, the BDSM Forum, the How to Forum, and the GLBT form a coalition and undertake peace keeping duties?

This reporter perused the Literotica archives and found some examples of the verbal skirmishes:

"The Playgrounders that have ventured into the GB have demonstrated a remarkable lack of reading comprehension. Maybe we should drop pictures of flowers and bunnies instead, to let them know we come in peace."

"The GB is for the dickheads who just want to argue,putdown & flame anyone that they don't agree with so if you want to be dicktated to in how your meant to think go to the GB & enjoy yourself....as for me I still use my brain so I'm quite happy here with ppl I've made friends with & some who are now R/L friends."

"It's like the Hanns thing...even the simplest acknowledgment is a demerit. Dedicating a thread to those dinks? To warn them of our *mean-ness*? Fuck...Maybe we can make mud balls and build a fort, too."


The encounters are not limited to only GBers and PGers, the Author's Hangout and even the Chat People have made a few sorties of their own:


"As long as the original question is answered in some way I see no real harm in a bit of banter between friends.
Or even a minor dispute, as long as it doesn't degenerate to general board level."

"I'm not an author, i'm not even very clever, i come here occasionally because i've friends here, not a clique of suedo friends talking on one subject only and ignoring strangers with an 'obvious cold shoulder' as the more high-brow members of a/h do mostly."

"A few friendly intelligent people of higher calibre than you find on the general board normally, (one point i agree with **** on is the g/b's constant childish crap)
***** one liner's would be lost on the g/b, it would be over most of their heads."

"uh moron, the cm's are gone so you can all quit bitching. the cms are gone, now go back to chat. dont you all have better things to do, or is the real truth that you had nothing against the cm's, that you just like to whine?"

"Personally i think lit should remove the chat room, seems to cause attract very immature people, who have problems with any authority, the petty gossip he-said-she-said shit on this thread makes me yearn for a good troll hunt thread. oh, they let soandso type in all caps, lets have a fit over it! grow up losers or at least go back to chat, quit filling the bb up with your moronic highschool whining."

What is next? I say that Lit is better than this, but if we must fight among ourselves, let's do it right. I have come up with a few ideas:

"The Battle of the Bulge"...men from each board could post their equipment. Judging categories ... "Biggest and smallest dicks" ... "Lowest hanging balls" ... "Longest cumshot."

"Tittysburg"...the ladies could post their boobs with judging categories such as "Biggest and smallest hooters"... "Nipples that put an eye out" ... and "Fuckable tits."


The constant hostilities and attacks must end! Good people from each side are leaving Lit as we speak. Make love not war!
Click to expand...
Sexcellent Job Cookie--keep up the good work! Seems like the topless thing is working well for you, not that you don't already work well on your own merits.
 
Questions for the Editor :

Will there be pictures? Maybe a Page Three girl perhaps? If so I nominate your lovely co-editor as the first. :heart:

And can I get a print subscription? I need some new bathroom "reading" material... ;)

.
 
cookiejar said:
War of The Words

By Cookiejar...Roving correspondent at large


As I wandered the boards, I tried to decide what my first story for "The Tattler" would be. Should I write about the Playground and it's long siglines? The General Board and it's political threads? The Author's Hangout and its alleged superiority? No, for my first story I decided to look into "The Literotica Wars." The ongoing battle between The Playground and the General Boards.

Were there actually "WMD's" on the GB? Should the PG be allowed to run itself or should an interim board take over? Could the Author's Hangout, the BDSM Forum, the How to Forum, and the GLBT form a coalition and undertake peace keeping duties?

This reporter perused the Literotica archives and found some examples of the verbal skirmishes:

"The Playgrounders that have ventured into the GB have demonstrated a remarkable lack of reading comprehension. Maybe we should drop pictures of flowers and bunnies instead, to let them know we come in peace."

"The GB is for the dickheads who just want to argue,putdown & flame anyone that they don't agree with so if you want to be dicktated to in how your meant to think go to the GB & enjoy yourself....as for me I still use my brain so I'm quite happy here with ppl I've made friends with & some who are now R/L friends."

"It's like the Hanns thing...even the simplest acknowledgment is a demerit. Dedicating a thread to those dinks? To warn them of our *mean-ness*? Fuck...Maybe we can make mud balls and build a fort, too."


The encounters are not limited to only GBers and PGers, the Author's Hangout and even the Chat People have made a few sorties of their own:


"As long as the original question is answered in some way I see no real harm in a bit of banter between friends.
Or even a minor dispute, as long as it doesn't degenerate to general board level."

"I'm not an author, i'm not even very clever, i come here occasionally because i've friends here, not a clique of suedo friends talking on one subject only and ignoring strangers with an 'obvious cold shoulder' as the more high-brow members of a/h do mostly."

"A few friendly intelligent people of higher calibre than you find on the general board normally, (one point i agree with **** on is the g/b's constant childish crap)
***** one liner's would be lost on the g/b, it would be over most of their heads."

"uh moron, the cm's are gone so you can all quit bitching. the cms are gone, now go back to chat. dont you all have better things to do, or is the real truth that you had nothing against the cm's, that you just like to whine?"

"Personally i think lit should remove the chat room, seems to cause attract very immature people, who have problems with any authority, the petty gossip he-said-she-said shit on this thread makes me yearn for a good troll hunt thread. oh, they let soandso type in all caps, lets have a fit over it! grow up losers or at least go back to chat, quit filling the bb up with your moronic highschool whining."

What is next? I say that Lit is better than this, but if we must fight among ourselves, let's do it right. I have come up with a few ideas:

"The Battle of the Bulge"...men from each board could post their equipment. Judging categories ... "Biggest and smallest dicks" ... "Lowest hanging balls" ... "Longest cumshot."

"Tittysburg"...the ladies could post their boobs with judging categories such as "Biggest and smallest hooters"... "Nipples that put an eye out" ... and "Fuckable tits."


The constant hostilities and attacks must end! Good people from each side are leaving Lit as we speak. Make love not war!
Click to expand...

WOW that was a great story Cookie very well done
 
EarthquakeMan said:
I was just joking when I said we were looking for someone to go topless behind enemy lines. :D

A reporter on a mission!
Click to expand...



Sorry boss, but if I have to brave the GB I need an edge;)
 
Re: Tattlertorial

EarthquakeMan said:
http://img62.photobucket.com/albums/v188/HisGreenEyedGirl/Tattlertorial.gif





Being Literotica’s only newspaper of record carries with it the burden and responsibility of editorializing on important issues of the day.

In the course of our relentless newsgathering we learn that ~ Dream ~ is having phone sex with prison inmates. While we applaud ~Dream~’s appetite and hunting skills, we at The Tattler see this as an ominous development for our Lit Community. Our latest census indicates that, excluding Tattler staff, there are only six fully functional heterosexual males remaining on Lit (biggbear8, Ammo44, Tn_8tiv, Ammo44, islander01, and Ammo44). In contrast, there are 1,877,314 incarcerated men in the United States willing to engage in endless self-gratification. And they pump iron.

While the females of Lit may view this as a previously unimagined bounty of orgasmic riches, we fear an exodus of men discouraged and defeated by the ease with which Lit ladies can reach out and touch someone behind bars.

We at The Tattler harbor no illusions as to how little the male population contributes to the welfare of our Lit community, but we do appreciate their knitting skills. And it has long been our belief that Lit should be sexually diverse, except for Edwarlife. Lit needs its men. So we encourage all of our subscribers to PM your local Congressman and urge them to pass legislation to take away either the prisoners’ phones or their penises.
Click to expand...



I'm proud to serve under you boss(that came out wrong)
:eek:
 
cookiejar said:
Sorry boss, but if I have to brave the GB I need an edge;)
Click to expand...

Your savvy and intrepid reporting is the sharpest edge of all. And infiltrating the GB uncovered rather than undercover was a stroke of journalistic brilliance.
 
Wonderful paper! Excellent articles! I simply couldn't put it down. Sign me up for a lifetime subscription.

BTW - let me know if you have any positions available. I'm always looking for new adventures on Lit. :D
 
sueanninct said:
Wonderful paper! Excellent articles! I simply couldn't put it down. Sign me up for a lifetime subscription.

BTW - let me know if you have any positions available. I'm always looking for new adventures on Lit. :D
Click to expand...
I think I will take a subscription on a Trial basis :D :D


Hey does this paper have any Page three girls????
 
CharlotteNCguy said:
I think I will take a subscription on a Trial basis :D :D


Hey does this paper have any Page three girls????
Click to expand...
What about Guys then (nude of course) if you want Girls on the Page ~is that page 3 or a page with 3 Girls???;) :D :D
 
YEP !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dumpling said:
What about Guys then (nude of course) if you want Girls on the Page ~is that page 3 or a page with 3 Girls???;) :D :D
Click to expand...

He REALLY needs to CLARIFY that, LING............
ROFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rose:
:rose:
:rose:
:rose:
:rose:
:rose:
 
http://img62.photobucket.com/albums/v188/HisGreenEyedGirl/Poetry_Corner.gif


Starting today we at The Tattler are proud to introduce a new feature for your reading pleasure, The Poetry Corner. Each week we will be printing a few pieces of poetry submitted from our readers. Should you like to submit your poetry, please send it to me by Wednesday evening to give time for the layout and printing the next day.


Today's featured writer: Biggbear8

Loving Desires

You desire soft loving caresses,
Warm, soft and gentle hands gliding over your silky skin,
Drawing, evoking, bringing your heated passion,
Easing you into my burning desires .

Soft and sensuous kisses,
Sensual lips and soft moans,
Passionate utterances and a probing tongue,
Whispering desire to me.

My warm breath flowing over your smooth skin,
Fluttering fingers evoking your burning desires.
A Soft, gentle touch and sensual licks,
Sending fiery pleasures through you.

Your strength and will descending,
Intense caresses soft and smooth
You holding on tight for the orgasmic delight,
The bonding desire melting two souls into one.

To make love with passion and joy,
To know desires soft, pure, and true
To fall asleep in your cuddling loving arms,
And float in sated bliss.
__________________________________________________

Heart And Soul

Music is the rhythm of love within the heart
Music is the tempo, a soft and sensuous pulse
Poetry is the expression that blossoms in the soul
Poetry is the feeling as the words begin to unfold

The heart loves unconditionally and it knows not why
The soul’s passion is between a heartbeat and a whisper
The heart whispers it's pleasures and it's agony
The soul cries out so others may comprehend

Season’s have no hold on passions of the soul
Nothing can touch the love that’s forged in your heart
Dreams are desires not yet fulfilled
Dreams are the passions of your spirit

The beating of the heart, the whispers of the soul
The spirits soars to the heavens above when
Beautiful dreams evolve and love unfolds
 
Re: YEP !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jakeababy said:
He REALLY needs to CLARIFY that, LING............
ROFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rose:
:rose:
:rose:
:rose:
:rose:
:rose:
Click to expand...
mhhhhhhh, are those Roses for me ?TH, YOU :kiss:

Nice Poem Biggbear;)
 
http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gif Get Well Cards



Before we wield the awesome power of the press and skewer innocent Litizens (including, but not limited to The Tattler's designated butt-boy, Edwarlife) we extend best wishes to two of our favorite Lit Ladies, Feistyred16 and Mindfire who are recuperating from medical issues unrelated to gymnastics performed in a sex swing. To speed their convalescence The Tattler is sending - straight from the Cabo set of the movie Troy - a peek up Brad Pitt's skirt and a fresh six-pack of Duracels.


http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gifTattler Contests


Last issue's winner, SweetBrie, chose not to claim her reward, so we have a leftover chalupa in our prize vault that we'll use for our Macauley Cockin Award, which goes to . . . drumroll . . . SensualMale who has PMd everyone on Lit except Edwarlife announcing that he is Home Alone. We are sending him a naked aardvark to keep him company.

And now on to today's 'Name That Litizen!', brought to you by proud sponsor Pfizer, manufacturer of Viagra - The Quicker Dicker Picker Upper. Our mystery Litizen's quote: "Welcome to Literotica. Show us your tits!".


http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gifPillaged Punchlines


When tasteless jokes at the expense of SensualMale bomb, we at The Tattler have no qualms stealing other Litizen's laughs.

From Mindfire on the Confessional thread:Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the dynamic young preacher raised himself to full height, leaned over the pulpit and boomed, "Brothers and sisters, if there are any among you who have committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mouf".

And from Hamletmaschine a chuckle-packed spoof on the Lit 'getting to know you' questionnaires: Get to know you're fallow litsteroticanites

For bringing laughter to our day Mindfire and Hamletmaschine will each receive the Official Tattler Edwarlife Blow Up Doll, delivered to their doorsteps by proud sponsor FedEx - When It Absolutely Positively Has To Be There Tonight, which would also be a good company slogan for proud sponsor Viagra.


http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gifBurning Questions


712 days and 914 posts ago Angelofsex began her quest for moan-worthy phone sex. We're too lazy to read the whole thread but would sure like to know: Did she ever get lucky?

And ace Tattler correspondent Cookiejar made the stunning announcement this morning that she's never picking up another thing as long as she lives. The Tattler wants to know: Does this include men in chat rooms?


http://www.personales.com/grflib/scribbler.gif Today's Best

Best Craving: "Chocolate, world peace, and a silly man" ~ Noor

Best New Thread: Creative, literate and touching, Artina Heartflash's Things that make the heart weep fire.

Best Day in May: The 11th, the birthday of Elizabeth, who makes my heart weep fire. Happy birthday, my love. :heart:

 
P3 said:
Ok, that's two subscriptions to date.


Thanks Dream, that was funny. Don't like giving advice or just don't think you any good at it? :eek:
Click to expand...

the problem is ..I'm Too good at it ..and sometimes I just need to follow my own ..:D
 
SweetBrie said:
I'd like a years subscription please.

Mystery Litzen is redrider4u...simple.. can you not think of a better prize than a chalupa though? I can get one of those anytime I want...for free..
Click to expand...


Yep..........sitting back ...torpedoing a beer.........munching chalupas...........of course delivered to the strand........
 
redrider4u said:
Oh, Mindy.......stop playiing off my PA days............kissing you softly..........Pitt lady...........just relax........and love the good times........
Click to expand...


Hey, none of that crap, this is a newpaper, not a brothel....:rolleyes:
 
whats you Pa days have to do with this..

Im the Mystery Person, I mean Im prettier
and more clever. your a good kisser but mine are
crafted specially for each with the taste of
juicy fruit bubble gum. tapping my foot now beat that...


:rose: :rose: :rose: To the judges..
 
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