The new night hunters

[Ithica]

Since grave keeper Eddy seemed to know Jonathan, I thought it would be a good time to find out what kind of crowd I had fallen in with. We walked back to his shack, while Jack was scrounging around, and I found out what Eddy knew about Jonathan, which led to a conversation about the now vacant graves. The empty graves didn’t seem so strange seeing how we just finished introducing ourselves to the zombie army. The whole zombie army thing does raise questions about Jack. Climbing down the rope into the hole, I was expecting to find a now brain-free Jonathan, but the verdict was still out. Following the tunnel I heard Jonathan swearing and proceeded into the room.

 

[goingforbroke]

I heard eva approach and motioned for her to stay silent and stay low. Although in my current state of panic it probably looked like I was having uncontroled spasms. I was not looking forward to having another gun aiming my way and at this point I was completely unarmed. Witch was not fair as heros should always have some advantage I thought. Where was my mad kung fu fighting skills or heat vision. Although with Eva here I would settle for X-ray vision but those were thoughts for another time.
The two men in black were probably discussing how to best make my internal organs see the light of day. Although for all I knew they were comparing peach cobbler recipes. My mind wondered away on what secret agents eat as I couldnt imagine James Bond stopping at the steak and shake for some curly fries. Then the two men in black turned around and I distintly heard one of them make some reference to excrement. Both of them seemed to draw something that looked like a remote control. Apparently the one time you can find the remote control is in the situation its least useful.
"Halt we do not wish to fight you" The taller of the two said meekly pointing his remote at me. "Cant we all just be friends." The smaller one chimed in apparently having his remote control malfunction as he smashed it several times into a nearbye wall.
The many different weapons I had seen in all my years of watching bad sci-fi flooded into my head. Realizing these remote controls could do anything from microwave my insides to causing me to sing show tunes for the rest of my life. I prayed a silent prayer right there that death before "hello dolly". "Eva the choice is yours we can attempt to fight or try negotion."

 

[Ithica]

This day started out as a normal day, I didn’t really believe in monsters and supernatural stuff. It’s fine for entertainment but actually believing in that stuff was only for children or messed up teenagers. When I was little I think I saw a ghost once but it didn’t talk to me. My sister saw more things. We used to share a room and if she saw something she would wake me up and I would jump down off of our bunk bed and turn on the light. When I was a teenager I read a lot of stuff on the occult, religion, and the supernatural but I grew out of it. Now, I’m fighting zombies and robots with two very strange people. This day started out normal but it definitely isn’t going to end that way.

Speaking of the abnormal, I think I’m starting to prefer the casually dressed than the formally attired freaks trying to kill me. The formally attired freaks look like they have a plan but, on the plus side, they are easier to spot. The casually attired do not seem to be as a cohesive group, but in their defense they don't seem to be cohesive by themselves. Most of them had pieces missing or deteriorating.

There is just the two of suited guys and we could fight them and possibly win. They also have malfunctioning remotes rather than guns. Then again, experience says that guns are easier to take away from men then remote controls.

“I think that if we are ever going to get answers about what’s going on we are going to have to try negotiating. We won’t fight if you put down the remote controls and answer a few questions.”

 

[goingforbroke]

The two suits lowered there remotes slowly weighing there chances either way. Apparently they did not think much of there weapons ability squish us and prefered negotion. "You are in a restiricted area that is closed to all non-personel. If you dont leave immediately we will be forced to call security on you." The tall one declared seeming to be quite happy with himself. "And they have guns, big guns." The short one chimed in desperate to disuade us from continuing onward.
This got me thinking what could it be that they wanted defended so bad. This had better be like roswell type classified stuff with big red stamps all over it. You would think if you didnt want it noticed you would hide it better not mark it with a bright red flourescent obviously they have not read the purloined letter. "I have gone way to far and put up with way to much stuff that will send me to therapy. To not see what is at the end of this tunnel." I said addopting a fighting stance and attempting to look ferocius. The only problem being that most creatures who seek to look ferocius have the benefit of fangs and a I will eat your face atttitude. I felt a little bit like a chiwawah with a superman complex.
"Uhhmm sorry we cannot allow that." The tallman said again raising his remote. "It would be a threat to national security. This earned the short man an elbow to the ribs. Apparently one did not discuss national security like one discusses the weather. As the weather rarely gets someone dumped in the east river although I am sure it has happened to a weather man who predicted rain during the dons daughters wedding.
"Now easy does it no one needs to get shot or zapped or phasered over this. How about we just get a little peak of whats behind door number 1 and we will be on our way." I put on my biggest chesire cat on helium smile. "Sorry cant allow any entrance to the facility for any reason. Its not only a security leak but a substantial health risk. Trust me you dont want to go down there."
Tallman spouted attempting to look like an authority figure while acting like the spazzy gate guard from wizard of oz.

 

[Ithica]

Where’s Jack? Being here down the rabbit hole, he would sure be handy in scaring Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum.

But I’ve had enough.

I was trying to think back to my social psychology class and what they said about how to interrogate someone, but I was drawing a blank. All I could remember is that people will listen to anyone who is an authority figure. My problem was that people are more likely to listen to you as an authority figure if you had a uniform on. Seeing how I was fresh out of uniforms, my other options were good cop and bad cop stuff, my source being one too many cop movies. I guess I’ll be the bad cop.

I march up to them with my best I’m-going-to-knock-you-on-your-ass-and-you-are-going-to-let-me look, slapped the short guy, and started yelling. After going through every profanity I could think of, I mentioned that if they didn’t open that door and play tour guide that after I was finished with them, they would beg me beat them into unconscious bloody pulps. Then proceeded to slap the remaining guy. I couldn’t really help it he looked so shocked I slapped him again for being surprised.

Now if Jonathan or Jack will back me up, maybe we can get moving.

 

[goingforbroke]

I wasn't particularly surprised when Eva started screaming about body parts and sticking things in them. If my experience with the women had taught me anything it was that she was unhinged. I half expected her to start foaming at the mouth and biting the heads off bats. I always felt sorry for the bat as there woken up in the middle of sleeping and when they get a little grumpy like any sensible organism they get exterminated.
I put my hands on eva soldiers and did a half mock half real effort of pulling her back. "You had better listen to her she never lies about causing pain. While last time she shoved her foot so far into a mans rectum it took a doctor to remove it." This seemed to make an impression on the two as they shrunk back against the wall. "So how about you open up and I will personally gurantee your safety." This was a complete lie as if eva wanted to hurt people I was going to find the nearest bomb shelter.
They ran over each other to unlock the door. I could almost here the three stooges theme music playing. The door opened into a large blue room. There seemed to be electronics everywhere but not a soul in sight. This was either Darth Vaders home entertainment system or was something that was going to cause us grievous amounts of unpleasant sensations. As soon as we were distracted by the opening door the two men in black vanished.
"Well ladies first" I said with my most convincing grin. It was times like this that I wondered if all manners were either efforts to have sex or to convince the other to do something really stupid.

 

[Screech]

Jack nochelantly whistled to himself. Everryone had gone 'downstairs', and he had followed shortly after, but had gotten lost. Didn't bother him much though because it had meant he had get to get used to the feel of two Desert Eagles that he had 'liberated' for the not-so-living-dead-that-once-were-living-dead. He liked them too. Nice and shiney.

Eventually, he wandered through a series of open doors and stopped. Up ahead were his two living associates! And they were still alive! Bonus! They were just staring into some sort of hi-tech room. Bah! Modern technology! Who needs it! Breaks down whenever he touches it....

Casually, Jack sauntered forward. "So. Who'se the proud owner of that Enterprise set-piece then?"

 

[Ithica]

“Did you see that? That was awesome I slapped that guy. Both of them! Good touch with the holding me back, I think that pushed them over the edge. I can’t believe that worked! I wasn’t sure if I should actually growl at them. But then I thought, I’ve taken it this far why not.”

I was so happy but then I looked into the blue room and Jonathan looked at me like I belonged in a straitjacket. I tried running a sanity check but everything else looked like it had gone crazy. Isn’t that one of the signs of insanity? Everyone’s crazy but you?

I glared at him when he said “ladies first”.

“It was your idea to go to a graveyard. I got rid of the guards. So, after you.”

Just then Jack sauntered up showing off his new shoes and his new and improved jaw.
He said "So. Who'se the proud owner of that Enterprise set-piece then?"

“I’m thinking the government, but maybe we’ll get lucky and there will be name tags. After you, Jack.”

 

[Screech]

“I’m thinking the government, but maybe we’ll get lucky and there will be name tags. After you, Jack.”

Righty-ho then missy! I'll be right back!" As if he didn't see what the other two saw, Jack strolled into the blue room and wandered around randomly for a moment. "Sure is blue in here. Wonder what that console thing over there does..."

Jack sauntered over to what looked like a keyboard with at least five different languages on it,wired into a massive pillar in the middle of the room. Chuckling to himself, he gazed over everything. "Y'know, if this were a sci-fi flick, we'd probably be dealing with some sort of female-voiced AI system bent of world destruction or somesuch"

Moving out of sight of the other two, he typed the word 'boobs' on a keyboard and chuckled at his own very very low-brow humor level. One second after, he let out a yelp of pain. Obviously some of his nerves still worked. "No need to worry folks... But I figued out one thing - definatly a female system" Looking down, he saw a rather large hole where his intestines used to be. "At least she's a bad shot..."

 

[goingforbroke]

Apparently I need to brush up on my mannerisms as that last look from eva would have Jason Vorhees to strongly consider his career options. Jack did not seem bothered by the quandy of wether or not to enter. Walking in like he owned the place. I wonder if all the walking dead did not care about chunks being taken out of them. Apparently death is kind of like a giant cheese grader slowly taking off peices while taking a very long time untill your pissed off and buy graded cheese. Man I got to work on my analogies too.
Jack had just typed in boobs to the main terminal and I could not repress a large grin. Although the terminal could not take the joke and a red ray eat a whole in Jacks stomach. I quickly dived to the side as in any good movie script this is the point where the heroes get locked in a death trap. I always wondered what if there were pleasant villains who built life traps? Maybe the kind of trap where your allowed to read magazines to pass the time.
"Intruder please type identification code or be destroyed." A hologram of a very vivacious looking womnen in a lab coat appeared. I prayed this meant death by fem-bot as its much more pleasant then death by something dead and smelly. "Quick jack type something in."

 

[Ithica]

Ooc: goingforbroke, I'm enjoying this thread and find it entertaining but it's starting to wear out. You have got to answer some questions about what is going on because it is starting to feel like it is leading nowhere. Please give something that will stop this from looking like random weirdness interspersed with fighting. Please take this as constructive criticism in the best way possible. I enjoy your writing style. You show an creative way of looking at things. If you have a plan great.

 

[goingforbroke]

Ooc: Contrary to popular belief I am not high on shrooms and do have a plan for where this is going. Admitedly I am getting a little lost in the process from point A to point B but I will try to improve. I enjoy any type of comments even criticism. I just draw the line at egging of my house and murdering of my dog. Unfortunately this is all the time I have to write at the moment but I will be back sunday for more.

 

[goingforbroke]

Ooc: Sorry It took so long I am having so problems with writers block of late.
Apparently "what the hell?" was the correct password. As the computer screen hummed to life with that familiar pur. Apparently there is someone out there who uses internet for something besides porn as this one had a seemingly limitless number of files. Some marked with dates others with bizarre code names like "Cobalt Messaih" and "Final Whisper". I half expected for one to be marked the pink bunny hops at midnight but apparently tech budget saps a sense of humor.
I began scrawling through the names and the dates. Trying to pretend like I knew what I was doing in front of Eva and Jack. I wish I had spock here for some conveniant techno babble right now. Allthough I admit that I would settle for the point ears and the ability to raise my eyebrow to pluto.
A file finally caught my interest it was marked "Marlin County Saga". Since I live in Marlin county and would really hate to be homless or radioactive I clicked quickly. It spoke of a substance called Zombietox being pumped into the towns water supply for the last year. It remains inactive untill a certain signal is released at witch point my obnoxious neighborhoods would ask to borrow my brain instead of a toaster.
This also meant that my granddad would be affected. That man had enough high explosives and firearms to fill Rambos wet dreams. If he went zombie who knows what he would use them for. It made me feel really sorry for the I.R.S for screwing him over all those years ago.
Another file caught my name a "X-13" project. It seems to be a secret work in progess that was very sketchy in the filebank. Only mentioning that it could possibly be the greatest invention for homeland defense in the history of the freeworld. Apparently the government wasnt content witht the title of "Big Brother" and wanted fullblown psycotic bastard status. I wonder what the award for that would be, most likely a golden statue of Nixxon.
"Well since I believe we our knee deep in green glowing sewage either way the choice is majority rules. Go investigate project X-13 wich appears to be stored downstairs or see what sense we could make of the chaos in town." Now would also be the time for one of this impressive pep talks but I only had the Slinky Jingle stuck in my head. Some say thats weird but its catchy and stops me from screaming out "were all going to die".

 

[Ithica]

I smirked when Jack typed in boobs and realized that guys don’t change, dead or alive.
A laser shot Jack and Jonathan did his version of a 007 duck and cover. A hologram came up and asked for a password and I watched Jonathan type in a password that worked.
I was starting to get suspicious of Jonathan. He seemed to know, in a kind of bumbling way, the right buttons to push. But that concern took a backseat when I read the file he was going through.

“I’ve been drinking the water for months. I’m going to die. And not in a nice quiet forever kind of way, but in a still up and partying with my friends helping an evil government take over the world kind of way. I hate zombies, present company excluded. We need to stop them. Let’s go see if we can destroy something downstairs.”

 

[goingforbroke]

That was the mystery I had been drinking the water here too and from what I could make out of the computer file the signal had gone out. Why I wasnt decaying quicker then brain cells during a frat kegger was unknown. Well I had never been the kind who dwells on enigmas thats for Einstein and Nostradamus. As philosophical as I get is wondering if life was a cracker jack box was I denied my prize.
I looked around for some manner of weapon as I did not fancy the idea of facing down more Zombies unarmed. I found something that closely resembled a flashlight mounted with a trigger and handle arangment. Even if this wasnt a weapon at least I could amuse myself with shadow puppets while being devoured.
Time to approach the big metal door that seemeed to lead downstairs. Either that or led to the eight layer of hell but at least we will have instant smores. It let out a loud hiss and then slid open. Revealing a pitch black hallway.

Ooc: oops gotta go finish later

 

[goingforbroke]

The hallway flickered to life with barely luminescent safety lighting. Its only use seemed to be making the hallway look creepier if that was possible. I half expected for J. Edgar Hoover to jump out and yell boo.
I began to walk into the hallway pointing my confiscated weapon in front of me. I wonder if Charlton Heston ever had moments where he looked like the pest control man. The hallway seemed to go on forever as I slowly descended into the darkness.
Suddenly I felt the walls disapear and I entered a huge room. But just as I began to look around the lights cut out. I felt a little like Daffy Duck being tortured by Buggs Bunny at this momment. I wonder how many people actually die due to anvils being dropped on there head may willy coyote rest in peace.
I clawed around looking for some purchase finding a wall. "Eva, Jack you guys there? All I am seeing is a whole lotta dark." Then as I was feeling my way across the wall I came to a switch. I flicked up and the room exploded with new neon green light. This is the kind of light that evil beings from beyound the stars always show up in. I wonder if Cthulhu ever considers proper mood lighting?
As I was considering this and that If I die now I sure hope it doesnt end up on reality T.V. My eyes adjusted to the new source of illumination and I found that the room was occupied by people in tubes. Seeming to be frozen in time within there plastic and steel confines. There were names on each of the tubes. All in all some twenty different tubes each looking progressively more pissed at being frozen. Apparently there life dream was not to be made into a popsickle.
As I examined each one in turn I noticed one marked X-13. A man was inside that looked very gray and depleated of life but no visable wounds were upon him. "Hey I found X-13 what should we do?" My hand reflexily began to trace the words "I see dead people" on the mist of the cryo tube.

 

[Ithica]

I don't like stumbling in the dark, expecially in a creepy place like this. Jonathan turned on the light revealing the test tube people.

"Do you mind if we just turn the lights back off and pretend we didn't see anything."

Now that we are down here what are we going to do?

 

[goingforbroke]

"I think thats a good idea if fact lets all just go get a cat scan." I was backing away from the X-13 tube treating it like I would anything large and fanged that I was pretty sure wanted to know what my spleen looked like. Although I paused for a moment wondering what my spleen actually looked like I always thought like a pink golfball or something.
Suddenly I heard the release of preasure and the top of the tube flipped open. I immediately leaped forward and closed the lid back but a hand stopped me. The creature was rising up from the tube its eyes focusing on me and eva. "Identify yourselves immiedtly or I will be forced to assume your hostility." The creature did not look exactly like a zombie as an almost life like pallor was returning to its skin but at the same time it had strange injuries surrounding it head. Almost like it had been smashed open and then reasemmbled.
"We are the... Electricians this setup is sucking up a hell of a lot of power. We think that maybe there is a short in the line or something." I was fervently hoping that someone had a better plan then lie to the creature. The only other idea I had was maybe it was into cinco di mayo too and we could all get hammered together. I would rather face a drunk creature then a sober creature anyday.

 

[Ithica]

I grabbed Jonathan's hand and started backing towards the door we had just entered from. When I got to Jack, I started pushing him in that direction as well.

While backing away from the creature I said, "Sorry to disturb you, sir. Jon I think we need to get back to the Sargent and tell him that the problem isn't in here. We have a lot to do, so we had better get going, I would like to get home to the kids soon; Suzy's got the cold. It was very nice meeting you, and once again sorry about disturbing you."

 

[goingforbroke]

I was being hurried out of the room be Eva. I was pretty sure eve would break my knee caps if I didnt hurry. She just seemed like the type who always wanted to emulate a gangster movie and was all out of horse heads.
The creature was regarding us in much the same way a fish looks at a worm on a hook. The if I bite you will you rip my guts out look. Coincedently the same look I give prune smooties.
"You are not electricians you dont carry any of the nessacary gear. Plus your heart rates have increased exponentially indicating the telling of a falsehood. I would geuss that you have neither clearence or the slightest idea what you are doing." I hate flippant monsters they are so smug in the fact that they could eat you. Like not only are they bigger or stronger but they have to be sarcastic to boot.
"Crap we get the one creature in the world with common sense. If you have a better idea then screaming loudly and hoping it slips when we lose bladder control I am dieing to hear it eva." I had left macho a while ago now I was shooting for coherent. For some weird reason when I am terried beyound rational thought I come out sounding like daffy duck. I think its another one of gods ways of emasculating me.

 

[Ithica]

"Sure we're electricians. We are union. We are the consulting team. Another group of electricians comes in when we find out what the problem is, so we have no need for tools. And about the heart rate, if we just startled you, your heartrate would be high too."

I didn't think the creature was buying it and was discouraged that no one else seemed to have a plan. I continued dragging the boys towards the door and started looking for a weapon.

"Is running a plan, because after this I got nothing."