The North (Closed)

[heartofcourage]

Across the castle, Riley was on a mission. She stalked through the hallways until she came to her parents chamber. Pushing open the door and nodding towards the guard, she let herself inside.

"Da." Riley murmured, glancing between him and her Uncle Rho as the two sat talking. "I don't know what is happening to Ma, but you have to do something. She has shut as all out viciously and the guards are telling me that she had a confrontation with Arturo Oliveras."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam's brows furrowed when Riley spoke of Fiona closing herself off, but he grabbed his crutches and stood the instant she mentioned a fight.

"Riley, run ahead and get me a drake. I'll need it if yer Ma tries to run off," Sam muttered.

"Easy, Sam," Rho said softly, but Sam's mind was quite literally elsewhere. As he lumbered out without a word, his mind reached out. He'd been practicing with Dzana and learning to guard himself, but his Caller abilities were still raw and rough. Fiona felt his presence long before she saw him.

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona had retreated from the courtyard to the castle library, or what was left of it. A wall had been demolished by Hesperus and many of the books lay in ruins around the room. It was quiet though, buffered by the torn tapestries that remained in the destruction. She sat in a thick wooden chair, centering herself was she looked down at the powered medicines that Alex had put together in a pouch for her. She considered which she was going to take to calm herself when Sam filtered in to her psyche.

She could feel his panic, the raw energy reaching out for her. When she heard the door to the room open, she blew out a breath and ran a hand over her eyes.

"Stay away, Sam." Fiona murmured. "Just stay out of this."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I have been," Sam's quiet and gruff voice responded. He limped through the ruins and the books that had been too damaged to save. Those that were salvageable had already been moved. The rest lay exposed to sun, wind, and rain through a large gap left by Hesperus tearing an entire tower off the structure. Rays of sunlight poked through, only to fade slowly as clouds passed by and gathered to threaten rain.

When Sam finally halted some fifteen feet from his wife, he regarded her in the dim light for a long moment. He already knew she was struggling with unseen battles. Hearing she'd shut her own children out, however, he now knew it was much worse than Fiona was letting on.

"Talk to me, darlin'," Sam requested softly. She could feel the concern radiating off him, and his still-new mental presence as a Caller wanted to surround her own. It wasn't anything he was doing consciously. He didn't have the fine control yet to do anything other than what he would normally do physically: try to protect her.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Sam, stop." She muttered as he started to wrap around her, the panic making her heart race. "Samuel, stop. STOP!"

She stood suddenly, the powders spilling to the ground as she turned to stare at him. "Sam, I need you to leave me alone. I don't know what he's capable of and if he makes you go mad, I would never forgive myself."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam paused but didn't retreat. His green eyes were full of concern, but his presence was a wall of calm suddenly. "I can't just sit by while you struggle on your own. That's no' how this marriage works, Fiona. That's not how this family works. You've always helped everyone else shoulder their burdens. You deserve help too."

He took a couple steps forward, focused solely on her but trying not to push unless she didn't give him a choice. "The kids know something awful's happening. Our family sees you pulling away an' lashing out. Love, everyone wanted to give you time an' space to sort through grief an' guilt for a fight tha' wasn't your fault. But this... whatever this is that Hesperus left behind... Time isn't helping. I know I'm new to this an' I'm still untempered. But if you won't let another Caller help, then I will. We can't leave this alone to fester. It's hurting you."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I've watched him made others go mad. I had to kill Joachim because of him. I'm not going to let him do the same to someone that I love." Fiona said desperately, wanting Sam to get far away from her.

 

[KieranSoares]

"You didn't kill Joachim," Sam protested, his tone softening as her panic grew. "He was dying an' you were forced to subdue him. Hesperus sent you a walking corpse, love."

He didn't close in any further yet. This was a situation where he didn't want to chase her unless he absolutely had to. "Don't fight this alone. You're worried about others goin' mad, but you'll lose yourself if you don't share the load. One person can't take on Hesperus alone; we already know that from experience."

 

[heartofcourage]

"One person has taken on Hesperus alone. I'm left with whatever is left of his madness now." Fiona countered, feeling absolutely helpless in the moment. "I can't even feel Reven. He won't let the connection through."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Then let us help pry the way open. I know how much your connections to the dragons mean to you. If you fight Hesperus alone, you'll never feel safe enough to connect with Schaller fully again. Your children need that connection too. So... so do I." Sam shook his head slowly. "Call it selfish but I don't want to learn from anyone else. And I don't want my wife t'be a martyr again. You've done enough of that for ten lifetimes."

 

[heartofcourage]

"What can you do to help, Sam? Truly. How can anyone help this?" Fiona asked, exhausted beyond words. "He won't willingly leave."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I don't know how we'll do it, not yet. But there was a time when we didn't know how we would beat Hesperus. There was a time when we didn't know how we'd defeat an entire Empire. We'll figure this out too."

Sam finally approached slowly and let one crutch lean against a ruined table. He reached out to touch Fiona's cheek with the utmost gentleness. "We an' the people who love an' support us- our family, our fellow Callers, our dragons- we can do this. No matter the weight, we can share it among enough people t'make it bearable. Jus' like you taught me, love. You give so much... it's your turn to be given to."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I just want to sleep and never wake again. He wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else if that happened." Fiona murmured, her eyes closing as his hand touched her cheek. "I wouldn't hurt another dragon like I did today."

 

[KieranSoares]

"You're worth more than an accident." Sam leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers. "Far more..."

He let go of his other crutch and drew her into his arms. "Each of us have gifts that can help. Andre and Dola can take some of the edge off. Riley can help unpack difficult things. The dragons and I can help shoulder the weight. Markos can help you with his own experiences. You have so many people who are glad to help you, darlin'."

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona wrapped her arms around her husband and held him tightly, shaking under the weight of her fear. Even when she had met Reven in person for the first time, she hadn't felt like this. Hesperus threatened to consume her whole, leaving her with nothing but a body that would fail.

"I can't do this, Sam." She murmured softly. "I can't."

 

[KieranSoares]

"You can. You've done the impossible more than once. This isn't impossible." He kissed her forehead and then her lips. "It's gonna be okay. We'll get you through."

 

[heartofcourage]

Fiona didn't say anything else as he promised that he would help and everything would be alright. The first stop upon leaving the ruins of the library was the infirmary. Fiona sat and nervously twisted her wedding bands as Yasmine took a detailed history. Riley had joined them, standing quietly at the back of the room as she listened to everything.

"How long have you been using medications to sleep?" Yasmine asked as Fiona sighed.

"Months. Before we left Trondheim." She admitted. "Alex gave them to me and I used them."

 

[KieranSoares]

"We've both had to use them now an' then," Sam murmured softly. "I think it's only recently anyone realized it was more serious." He sat beside his wife to offer support and fill in details from his perspective, but he was taking care not to hover. He was ready to hold her hand if she wanted it, or simply stand back and wait til she needed him.

Looking over at Yasmine, Sam added softly, "Her sleep is still pretty fitful some nights..." He looked back to Fiona with a bit of guilt as he added, "I've noticed you taking more sleep aids lately... More'n Alex would recommend." He didn't want to give away secrets or make her feel ashamed, but he knew it was best to let Yasmine know.

 

[heartofcourage]

"You know the danger of that." Yasmine said softly, glancing up at Fiona as the woman still seemed so distant and numb. "We can try something else..."

"Nothing else works." Fiona said with a long sigh as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Nothing else dulls all the voices and the visions. They all want or need something from me and when the veil is the thinnest, they reach out."

 

[KieranSoares]

"We're gonna try helping with more'n medicine. A combination of the two could do some good." Sam looked over at Yasmine. "This is somethin' I think other Callers could offer help with. We can split up mental load. Carefully."

 

[heartofcourage]

"We cannot ask them to give up their already valuable time to babysit me." Fiona murmured, upset that she were the issue in this entire mess.

"They would willingly volunteer their time in addition to their other duties." Riley spoke up from her spot. "And you no longer have a choice in the matter."

Fiona turned to regard her daughter, no spite nor malace in her gaze. "Are you the Rider Queen now?"

"No. Far from it. I do not pretend to be either." Riley answered back. "But I know that the dragons and the callers would lay down their lives for you, Ma. I also know that you are steps away from throwing yourself off a cliff to save everyone from the last of Hesperus."

Fiona pursed her lips and sighed, looking at Sam with slight shame.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam leaned over and pressed his forehead to Fiona's for a moment. "I came to a ledge many times myself, darlin'. You held my hand til I could walk away an' you never made me feel guilty. I've got you."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I would suggest that she isn't alone for the time being. I will speak with Alex about medications. We will be controlling when and what you take." Yasmine said softly.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam nodded and touched Fiona's hand. "Do you want a while to relax before we talk to anyone else, love?" He fully intended to bring in Dola first before they tackled talking with any other Callers with assigned duties. He knew Andre would be the first to volunteer all he could offer- he loved Fiona so- and he knew Soma would be relieved to be able to help. Most of all, he was anxious to bring in Dzana and Schaller. But he would let Fiona choose the pace.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I don't suppose I have a choice." Fiona said as Sam covered her hand with his.

"You have many choices in this matter, Fiona." Yasmine said softly as she closed her notebook. "But only one that your family is willing to let you take."