The Parking Lot

[Under_Sun]

telling it different(ly)

Until I'm told different I thought she was here to write poetry
I assume she'd do her humping in private
like lots of other things in here that no one can see

um.... nobody is here just to write poetry, are they?

and I think NJ was being playful, what's the beef?


oh this parking lot makes me feel argumentative, it is contageous! I was going to post "aw shucks I feel left out because nothing here bugs me enough to join in any brawl"

 

[champagne1982]

So, what particular thread are you fucking in?

You are such a voyeur!

 

[WickedEve]

um.... nobody is here just to write poetry, are they?

and I think NJ was being playful, what's the beef?


oh this parking lot makes me feel argumentative, it is contageous! I was going to post "aw shucks I feel left out because nothing here bugs me enough to join in any brawl"

I'm going to break my diet snapple bottle and gouge out your tonsils.

Sorry. It's the parking lot.

We're all here to just write poetry. Some of us need to fuck around first for inspiration. But it's all poetry.

 

[Recidiva]

All the wrangling was really started to lure you back into this forum.

I'm not poetic, I'm barely prosaic.

But I like to watch.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I'm going to break my diet snapple bottle and gouge out your tonsils.

Sorry. It's the parking lot.

We're all here to just write poetry. Some of us need to fuck around first for inspiration. But it's all poetry.

Eve, that was a coffee-out-the-nose line. Diet Snapple is a nice touch. You have a real skill with detail.

And you're right. Fucking around for inspiration indeed. That's what I'm all all all about.

whoops I posted in this thread again. But as long as we're just fucking around.

And I'm a voyeur too, as well as an exhibitionist. Where's that fucking thread? I mean, just to clarify, where's that Fucking Thread?

bj

 

[Tathagata]

um.... nobody is here just to write poetry, are they?

and I think NJ was being playful, what's the beef?


oh this parking lot makes me feel argumentative, it is contageous! I was going to post "aw shucks I feel left out because nothing here bugs me enough to join in any brawl"

I don't know, are they?
read her post


a lot of people are playful here....in public
out of the spotlight it may be another story



and yet you felt the need to post.....and thus join in
strange huh?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I don't know, are they?
read her post


a lot of people are playful here....in public
out of the spotlight it may be another story



and yet you felt the need to post.....and thus join in
strange huh?

now now, kink kong.

oh wait. fight all you want. It's the parking lot.

But seriously, do I have to do another Kum ba ya set on RFJ? Don't make me go there. It hurt. seriously.

bj

 

[WickedEve]

Eve, that was a coffee-out-the-nose line. Diet Snapple is a nice touch. You have a real skill with detail.

And you're right. Fucking around for inspiration indeed. That's what I'm all all all about.

whoops I posted in this thread again. But as long as we're just fucking around.

And I'm a voyeur too, as well as an exhibitionist. Where's that fucking thread? I mean, just to clarify, where's that Fucking Thread?

bj

There's a fucking thread?
Dildo thread? I know we have those.

 

[Angeline]

Eve, that was a coffee-out-the-nose line. Diet Snapple is a nice touch. You have a real skill with detail.

And you're right. Fucking around for inspiration indeed. That's what I'm all all all about.

whoops I posted in this thread again. But as long as we're just fucking around.

And I'm a voyeur too, as well as an exhibitionist. Where's that fucking thread? I mean, just to clarify, where's that Fucking Thread?

bj

They're all fucking threads, but I'm for any thread that brings all my favorite personalities into it. We even got Liar--who I know is uber-busy--to post.

We're just one big old fightin, fuckin sprawl of poets, I suppose.

 

[WickedEve]

They're all fucking threads, but I'm for any thread that brings all my favorite personalities into it. We even got Liar--who I know is uber-busy--to post.

We're just one big old fightin, fuckin sprawl of poets, I suppose.

What's with you and the F word?
Are you being bad for Halloween?
Does e.e. realize you're a potty mouth?

 

[Angeline]

What's with you and the F word?
Are you being bad for Halloween?
Does e.e. realize you're a potty mouth?

Oh he loves my potty mouth. I try not to go there too often though because he might get fucking bored with it.

 

[Tathagata]

now now, kink kong.

oh wait. fight all you want. It's the parking lot.

But seriously, do I have to do another Kum ba ya set on RFJ? Don't make me go there. It hurt. seriously.

bj

No problem
I think I've said all I need to

I come here most days to write
I also interact with people I admire, like, love or share a similar " frame of reference", friends I have made in the time I've been here.

That doesn't automatically include having my leg humped
unless it's Eve


Over and out

 

[WickedEve]

Oh he loves my potty mouth. I try not to go there too often though because he might get fucking bored with it.

Oh, you just made wings fall off the littlest angel in Heaven.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Oh, you just made wings fall off the littlest angel in Heaven.

goddamn. I must be responsible for about a million naked angels. Holy shit, there goes another one.

Tath, sweet. It's all good. have a cookie with me. or some banana cream pie.

somebody find the Fucking Thread. I am so there. Is there a fellatio thread? The subject is a favorite...

bj

 

[Angeline]

Oh, you just made wings fall off the littlest angel in Heaven.

It's time they knew the truth about me. Actually, you may be the only one left here who still thinks I'm sweet. Lord knows, eagleyez took about two days of living with me to realize it's all an act.

 

[Angeline]

goddamn. I must be responsible for about a million naked angels. Holy shit, there goes another one.

Tath, sweet. It's all good. have a cookie with me. or some banana cream pie.

somebody find the Fucking Thread. I am so there. Is there a fellatio thread? The subject is a favorite...

bj

Gee and I was sure this post would bring my favorite foolio back in the thread.

All threads are sex threads. And they're any kind of sex threads you want them to be. This is Literotica, after all. You know I once actually won a leather Literotica portfolio. Stamped right on the front of it. Try taking that to your next business meeting (I was a corporate queen before I ran away to join the circus). "Hi Everybody. Oh that? I won the best dirty poem contest."

 

[Liar]

You are such a voyeur!

Can you blame me, really?

 

[The_Fool]

Gee and I was sure this post would bring my favorite foolio back in the thread.

All threads are sex threads. And they're any kind of sex threads you want them to be. This is Literotica, after all. You know I once actually won a leather Literotica portfolio. Stamped right on the front of it. Try taking that to your next business meeting (I was a corporate queen before I ran away to join the circus). "Hi Everybody. Oh that? I won the best dirty poem contest."

What the fuck are you talking about woman???

 

[Angeline]

What the fuck are you talking about woman???

Hi.

 

[Guest]

So.


Did we decide this was the Fighting Thread or the Fucking Thread?

 

[WickedEve]

So.


Did we decide this was the Fighting Thread or the Fucking Thread?

Potty mouth Angeline wants a fucking thread. (Another angel drops out of the sky and hits the ground before her wings. Heaven's little splat.)

 

[Tzara]

Potty mouth Angeline wants a fucking thread. (Another angel drops out of the sky and hits the ground before her wings. Heaven's little splat.)

You people are all fucking in the parking lot? Did Costco have a special on condoms or something?

 

[Angeline]

You people are all fucking in the parking lot? Did Costco have a special on condoms or something?

Ask a question. Get a poem.

The Hallmark Quickie
by karmadog©


Our lips met in a blue alcohol blaze
and the bartender suggested, “Get a room. Change your ways.”
So we rushed from the bar leaving other couples trampled
to tryst in the parking lot (couldn’t get to the car).
Fuddled minds seem to think, subtract thirty people
three walls and one prude
add fifteen cars, It’s time to get nude!

I lifted her skirt emboldened by scotch.
and found pantyhose with a reinforced crotch.
But what’s made by Man may be unmade by me.
With a rip, an entrance to a hole much sweeter.
I turned her around to admire her globes
She bent at the waist and I gave each a smack
The foreplay completed, I sought out her crack.

Flesh slapping flesh drew eyes from the dumpster.
Tiny whiskers atwitter each time I humped her
Unnoticed they watched and washed filthy faces
then returned to their meal of free beer and bar food.
Round the corner drove a pickup maybe a Dodge.
But Mary and I, we continued to fuck
What could I do? Waddle away like a duck?

I must say that Mary was a hell of a dame
She kept her hips pumping until we both came.
The folks in the Dodge applauded and honked
while I did my best Bogey and lit up two smokes.
Some might have hidden their faces in shame,
but since that night when we stood our ground
Mary and I haven’t paid for a round.


Good ol' karmadog. I sure do miss him.

 

[Eluard]

No problem
I think I've said all I need to

I come here most days to write
I also interact with people I admire, like, love or share a similar " frame of reference", friends I have made in the time I've been here.

That doesn't automatically include having my leg humped
unless it's Eve


Over and out

Hey, I’ll tell you what you are. You’re a tiny dick in a fat suit. It’s fairly hilarious to hear you say that you are here to write poetry — I must have been reading the wrong threads all this time. But seriously, it’s perfectly obvious why you are here. The entire forum is covered in your drool and spittle as you suck up shamelessly to one female after another. (“hey, here are five more blues songs that you may not have seen before;” “Ah! let me tell you all about my last bottle of Scotch”; “here’s something on rock music you may not have heard about”.) And, in truth, I don’t hear any of those women complaining, so I was all prepared to just let you get on with it. Really — why should I care?

Except, you know, some part of me does care. (And this is where I take you to one side and talk to you man to man.) Because, really, and I mean, I know, I get it — we all get it — you're no intellectual — but with every dopey comment you make, every juvenile joke and piece of flirtatious idiocy, every pop-culture reference that is so ham-fistedly inserted to show that you actually know something, every bit of spittle left on the shoulder of some hapless female, every morsel of bad, high school poetry — those stunning four-liners (how do you get the stamina for that stuff, man?) — that you produce at intermittent intervals, I feel that you are giving men in general a bad name. That’s right. All of those men who created 3000 years of civilisation and culture are looking at you and thinking: fuck, is this what we’ve been reduced to? some alcoholic tosser wanking over an ostensible poetry forum.

But even with all of that I was prepared to let you stick to your side of the road — as you volplane to a well-earned obscurity — and I stick to mine. But you are incapable of doing that aren’t you? So even though my harmless, and pretty unflirtatious comment to bijou, was really not something that you needed to comment on, you felt the need to comment. And I get the reason: because every man on this forum makes you look bad. Every man here makes the tiny dick in the fat suit look like nothing more than that.

Please, tell everyone one more time, how you are really here to write poetry. Because bothering with you has made me feel down and I need the laugh. Or even better, write one of the members here a PM accusing them of getting at you secretly. Because we all know that you are a delicate egg of a man — who just needs to be shown the respect you’ve never in your life deserved.

Now — howsabout you put me on ignore and we go our way in peace, huh?

 

[Angeline]

Hey, I’ll tell you what you are. You’re a tiny dick in a fat suit. It’s fairly hilarious to hear you say that you are here to write poetry — I must have been reading the wrong threads all this time. But seriously, it’s perfectly obvious why you are here. The entire forum is covered in your drool and spittle as you suck up shamelessly to one female after another. (“hey, here are five more blues songs that you may not have seen before;” “Ah! let me tell you all about my last bottle of Scotch”; “here’s something on rock music you may not have heard about”.) And, in truth, I don’t hear any of those women complaining, so I was all prepared to just let you get on with it. Really — why should I care?

Except, you know, some part of me does care. (And this is where I take you to one side and talk to you man to man.) Because, really, and I mean, I know, I get it — we all get it — you're no intellectual — but with every dopey comment you make, every juvenile joke and piece of flirtatious idiocy, every pop-culture reference that is so ham-fistedly inserted to show that you actually know something, every bit of spittle left on the shoulder of some hapless female, every morsel of bad, high school poetry — those stunning four-liners (how do you get the stamina for that stuff, man?) — that you produce at intermittent intervals, I feel that you are giving men in general a bad name. That’s right. All of those men who created 3000 years of civilisation and culture are looking at you and thinking: fuck, is this what we’ve been reduced to? some alcoholic tosser wanking over an ostensible poetry forum.

But even with all of that I was prepared to let you stick to your side of the road — as you volplane to a well-earned obscurity — and I stick to mine. But you are incapable of doing that aren’t you? So even though my harmless, and pretty unflirtatious comment to bijou, was really not something that you needed to comment on, you felt the need to comment. And I get the reason: because every man on this forum makes you look bad. Every man here makes the tiny dick in the fat suit look like nothing more than that.

Please, tell everyone one more time, how you are really here to write poetry. Because bothering with you has made me feel down and I need the laugh. Or even better, write one of the members here a PM accusing them of getting at you secretly. Because we all know that you are a delicate egg of a man — who just needs to be shown the respect you’ve never in your life deserved.

Now — howsabout you put me on ignore and we go our way in peace, huh?

Eluard, I hardly ever put anyone on ignore because I'm a moderator here and sometimes I actually have to do something related to it. This isn't one of those times because part of my job is not to referree flame wars. But I have to say that I find your post incredibly mean-spirited and nasty on a personal level.

Ever hear of live and let live? First off, it's not cool (as I'm sure you know) to try to "out" someone who may or may not be the alt you accuse them of being. It's almost as bad as posting their real name or phone number or such, which is a violation of forum rules. What you did is just in bad taste. Second, please refrain from the royal "we" in your post; "we" don't all share your opinions. To be frank, your post says more to me about you than about Tath. Maybe you should think about that. Third, I really question your motive for this in the first place. The poetry forum is a big tent and, while people do get into this sort of thing from time to time, there's room for everyone here. And here's the important part: it's a much more pleasant place to be when people don't make it uncomfortable by flaming each other.

And, yes, Tath is my friend. Not my cyberfuck buddy, my friend. I think the world of him and I often find his poems moving and, for me inspiring. I've known him for about three years and I'm pretty sure his r'aison d'etre here is the same as most people's: to write poetry and have a few laughs with people of like minds. Isn't that yours?

Why don't you do the adult thing here and let it go? If you want to come back here and bash me, that's certainly your perogative. You wouldn't be the first here to do it, but letting it go and just writing poetry instead will feel a lot better for everyone in the long run.