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The Raindear816 Birthday Bash!

Raindear816 Hostage Crisis: Day 6

* note to editors: previous filings on the hostage crisis *

(Reuters) Plovdiv, Bulgaria


As an anxious nation awaits the fate of Raindear816,
abducted on the eve of her Birthday Bash by a
brazen gang of Bulgarian midgets, Reuters has obtained
a photo of Munky doing a HALO drop into the Plovdiv vicinity.


http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y370/LusterMunky/parachute.jpg

Munky, right, with Francois Langur Ninja
copyright 2010, Reuters


Purported to be aiding Munky in his rescue efforts is the
notable Holiday Inn lounge band, Tek and his Nights.

http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y370/LusterMunky/TekandhisNights.jpg

Tek, far left
Copyright 2009, Holiday Inn America

Arnie Wasco, assistant manager of the Des Moines
Holiday Inn describes the band as “energetic” but
“often driven to excess when inspired by the musical
stylings of Yanni”. Various Bulgarian Hostage Rescue
Experts have speculated that the role of Tek and his
Nights in the rescue effort may be to distract Raindear816’s
horny little captors. “Bulgarian midgets often go limp at the
sound of Yanni”, said one. When asked if Raindear816
might be distressed that anyone could possibly go limp
in her presence, he declined to speculate.



*updates as available*
 
PRESS RELEASE: Raindear816 Hostage Crisis, Day 7

*note to editors: This filing contains crude language and is unredacted. Please edit to your newspaper’s established standards*

(Reuters) Plovdiv, Bulgaria

In a surprise development during Day 7 of the Raindear816 Hostage Crisis, her assumed abductors said that Raindear816 is in Bulgaria of her own free will and was not kidnapped on the eve of her widely anticipated Birthday Bash. A courier delivered to Reuters a message and a self-portrait of Raindear816, which they alleged was taken yesterday at the prestigious Black Sea resort Albena.

http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y370/LusterMunky/beachkini.jpg

Several Expert Raindearologists confirmed that the photo is genuine, but expressed doubts about when it was taken, and voiced skepticism of the horny midgets’ claim that she was in Bulgaria voluntarily. Said one, “Yes, that is Rain, but if she was enjoying herself she’d be naked. She likes men to admire her in all her glorious splendor.”

The midgets’ message claimed the reason for Raindear816’s presence in Bulgaria was simple. “She needed a break. LusterMunky had been fucking her hard and deep, day and night, day after day, week after week, and her tight little pussy was all worn out from his Enormous Banana. She just wanted some Little Peoples’ penises. Sort of like a week at the spa and going on a diet.”

Bulgarian officials discounted the midgets’ claim, and were said to be “girding their loins” for potential collateral damage from the anticipated extraction effort by Munky and his crack squad of Francois Langur Ninjas.

A U.S. State Department spokesman sympathized with Bulgarian concerns, but said he regretted the language used by the Bulgarian official. “Our files indicate that Raindear816 likes her men to have their loins ungirded.”


* Updates as available *
 
PRESS RELEASE: Raindear816 Hostage Crisis: Day 8

(Reuters) New York City


The Raindear816 Hostage Crisis took center stage at the
United Nations today as Bulgaria issued a formal warning to
“any parties threatening hostilities” against their country.
This was in response to widespread reports that munkys
worldwide have threatened Bulgaria with missile strikes
in the event the Bulgarian government “takes any action
that might hinder the rescue of Raindear816”.




http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y370/LusterMunky/rocket.jpg



A spokesman for the newly formed Free Raindear Coalition,
whose membership is comprised mostly of primates, said
“It’s not often that us furry little creatures have the opportunity
to bone a blonde bombshell. We will do all in our power,
including the use of force, to ensure that said boning can be
resumed at the earliest possible date.”



*updates as available*
 
Munky, my darling friend, ya done lost your :nana:, babe.

Keep it up. Each post makes me snort. :eek:
 
My gracious! What a welcome home/birthday party! I'm a bit outta practice with the posting since the midgets were adimant about keeping me to themselves. I just wanna thank everyone for their birthday wishes and for the rescue efforts/support to my Munky while I was in captivity. You all are incredible friends! Thank y'all so much! :kiss:
 
And to my Munky....a bazillion of these:kiss: wouldn't even scratch the surface. I love you baby. :heart:
 
Raindear816 said:
My gracious! What a welcome home/birthday party! I'm a bit outta practice with the posting since the midgets were adimant about keeping me to themselves. I just wanna thank everyone for their birthday wishes and for the rescue efforts/support to my Munky while I was in captivity. You all are incredible friends! Thank y'all so much! :kiss:
Click to expand...

You've been through a lot darling, what with the handcuffs and blindfolds and all the horny midgets (how were they, btw?) And I know that after such an ordeal coming home is hard. Or maybe it's me that is hard that you are coming home. :D
 
LusterMunky said:
You've been through a lot darling, what with the handcuffs and blindfolds and all the horny midgets (how were they, btw?) And I know that after such an ordeal coming home is hard. Or maybe it's me that is hard that you are coming home. :D
Click to expand...
They were surpisingly coordinated and quite attentive in their sexual expression. It was a bit offputting that the leader in the group wanted me to call him Sergeant Tripod (with a straight face no doubt) while he was servicing me.

I've been longing for some sweet Munky lovin'. :kiss::heart:
 
Raindear816 said:
They were surpisingly coordinated and quite attentive in their sexual expression. It was a bit offputting that the leader in the group wanted me to call him Sergeant Tripod (with a straight face no doubt) while he was servicing me.

I've been longing for some sweet Munky lovin'. :kiss::heart:
Click to expand...

You know how much I enjoy sharing you, love. Plus, what with your insatiable sexual appetite it takes some of the load off of me, know what I mean?

But Sergeant Tripod? Geez! I could get jealous of a guy who's dick is longer than his leg.

Just so you know.

and as for that Munky lovin'? C'mere baby!
 
LusterMunky said:
You know how much I enjoy sharing you, love. Plus, what with your insatiable sexual appetite it takes some of the load off of me, know what I mean?

But Sergeant Tripod? Geez! I could get jealous of a guy who's dick is longer than his leg.

Just so you know.

and as for that Munky lovin'? C'mere baby!
Click to expand...
It was monumentally striking, but you know how miuch I love bananas.;)

Mmmm perhaps I can show you with my hands, just how much my body has missed you, then work my way from there;)
 
Raindear816 said:
It was monumentally striking, but you know how miuch I love bananas.;)

Mmmm perhaps I can show you with my hands, just how much my body has missed you, then work my way from there;)
Click to expand...

My Darling, shall we retire to my jungle and make animal noises? Among my favorites is the scream of the wild clitoris.

:devil:
 
Perpetual Birthday Bash

fact: IHC has a never ending birthday
fact: Rain is cuter than IHC
ergo: Rain shall have a never ending birthday



http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y370/LusterMunky/partyforever.jpg

So . . . old friends or new, drop by and say hi. Or if you don't know how
to type, just oogle her pics (if her public demands, there will be more)

The champagne is flat and the cake is stale, but who knows, maybe
someone will drop off some tasty Cookies.
 
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