The Raven (closed)

[heartofcourage]

Emma had a routine in place each and every day to help her take care of the twins. Leon would be placed on the floor to play as Eli was usually carried on her hip. She would make breakfast for the entire family, lunch for the three of them, and dinner on the table in time for Boar to come home. All the while, Eli was there with her, clinging to her until it was time for a nap or he wanted to actually play with his twin.

The boys were her greatest joy and she had often told Boar that. She wasn't afraid to be happy any longer and it was easier to smile when it was just their little family together. She had a problem being intimate, however, and she rebuffed all of Boar's advances. She had no promise giving him pleasure, but when it came to her own, it was almost non existent.

 

[KieranSoares]

One particular evening after Boar had gotten home a bit early and the boys were put to bed, Boar stepped up behind Emma as she was washing the dishes and he wrapped his arms about her waist, pressing an adoring and warm kiss to her neck. He'd been feeling particularly lusty that evening after a good day and a wonderful meal, and seeing Emma in a lovely new dress that brought out the color of her eyes.

 

[heartofcourage]

Emma knew that Boar was in a good mood when he got home that evening. He smiled easily, watching her with those dark eyes that seemed to take in her every move. When his arms wrapped around her waist, she paused in her washing, his lips pressing against her lips in that adoring way that he always seemed to have. She could also feel his hardness starting to press against her bottom.

"Not tonight." She murmured softly, refusing to look at him as she tried to continue in her washing.

 

[KieranSoares]

"Ye've said tha' fer a week," he sighed, letting her go for a moment. But then he reached around her to still her hands. "Wha's wrong, love?" He didn't need sex to be happy, but it worried him that Emma, who normally enjoyed making love before, had suddenly shut it out of her life as if afraid.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Nothing." Emma said as his broad hands came to rest over her own, stopping her from her task as she let out a long sigh. "If you want someone to take to bed, go into town and find someone."

When she was frightened or upset, she would lash out with hurtful words. It was all in an effort to get him away from her and to make him forget what his original quest was. He knew her too well, however.

 

[KieranSoares]

"Tha's not gonna work this time," he told her quietly but firmly. "Besides, y'know if I did tha', you'd be heartbroken." He turned her to face him. "Why don' y'ever tell me things without a fight, Emma? If y'think I'm gonna hate you 'r be mad, y'don' know me at all."

 

[heartofcourage]

"You wouldn't understand, Boar." Emma said, unable to look him in the eye. "You didn't go through a change that left you with a body that you still don't quite understand or like. I don't want you to see me like this."

 

[KieranSoares]

"See you like what?" Boar asked quietly. "Yer beautiful as ever, Em. Y'think scars'll bother me? I'm covered with 'em. So ye've got a little more curve, I think tha's beautiful. I've thought y'were th'most beautiful thing I'd ever seen when I first made love t'you, an' I only believed tha' more an' more while y'were pregnant. I'm no' so concerned with takin' you t'bed as I am with how y'think of yerself. Ye've always been so harsh about your own life... an' I hate it, Emma. Y'deserve much better than what you give yerself."

 

[heartofcourage]

"You and the boys are the best part of me." Emma said softly after she had let silence settle between them for a long moment. "Perhaps the only part of me that is really worth anything."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Stop tha'," Boar told her quietly but firmly, making her turn to face him. "I can't stand it when y'do this. I've been reassuring you an' tryin' t'make you see yer a good woman from th'moment we got our second chance, an' I'm not gonna let you waste yer life thinkin' yer somethin' less. Th'Emma from way back when is gone an' yer here now in this moment. It's time t'live in it fer yourself." He sighed and let her go, stepping away to go check on the boys when he heard Eli begin to cry.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Who am I, Lynndon? I know who Emma Campbell is but I have no idea who Emma Ghis is." She called after him as he went to tend to their sons. "Emma Campbell seduced a prince, was hated by her family, could never have children. Now look at me. It might be easy for you to enjoy this new life but it isn't so easy for me."

 

[KieranSoares]

Boar paused halfway to the twins' room and he looked back at Emma. "I don't 'ave all th'answers for ya, lass. Ye've got t'find tha' out fer yerself. Maybe start with... the woman Emma Campbell wished she could be." With that he disappeared into the boys' room and Eli soon quieted.

 

[heartofcourage]

Emma watched him go, listening as he calmed Elijah until he was sound asleep again. She had to figure out how to be happy with the woman that she was now. It would be hard to consider, she thought to herself. Boar had proven to be patient and kind, expecting nothing from her except for her to love herself. That was proving very hard at the moment.

 

[KieranSoares]

Boar soon emerged and went to tend to his axe and blade, sharpening them to occupy his time. He couldn't stand to watch Emma fight with herself or deny herself happiness because of who she used to be.

 

[heartofcourage]

Emma watched as he moved from the room and started to sharpen his blade. She knew he was upset but he wouldn't say anything to her about it for a while. She watched him work for a long moment before she moved and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek against his own.

"I know that Emma Ghis loves you very much." She whispered against his ear.

 

[KieranSoares]

Boar sighed softly, laying aside his axe to lift a hand to her own. "I love you too, lass... But it's no' me I'm concerned with you lovin' righ' now. I wish y'could see what I see when I look a' you "

 

[heartofcourage]

"What do you see?" Emma asked him as he looked so sad and defeated. "I think I would like to know the answer to that."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I see a woman who's been through hell more'n once, but she came out t'prove tha' even through all 'er bad times an' bad decisions, she could still have a heart an' be a good wife an' mother," Boar told her honestly. "But she's stuck on what used t'be an' things tha' just don' matter anymore."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I never want them to know who I was." Emma said suddenly, so afraid that their boys would learn just who she had been before Boar. "That scares me most of all. That my sweet little boys might think that their mother is a whore or a traitor."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Tha's your choice, Em. But I don't think they'd ever think that o' you. None of us here think tha'." He turned round to face her. "An' you shouldn't either, love." He wanted so badly for Emma to make peace with herself, but he could see it wouldn't be very easy for her.

 

[heartofcourage]

"This is hard, Lynn. So much harder than I thought it would ever be." She murmured softly, looking at him with the gaze of a woman who was simply lost.

 

[KieranSoares]

"It was never gonna be easy, darlin'." He turned and drew her into his lap, her back resting against his chest and his arms about her waist. "I can't tell y'how t'make it, but I'll be righ' behind you for ya t'lean on."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Never stop loving me. No matter how much I make you angry, I need your love." Emma said softly as she turned her head and kissed her husband gently.

 

[KieranSoares]

"Same goes t'you," Boar gladly returned her kiss and was content to simply sit with her and enjoy the quiet while the boys slept. It'd been a while since he'd had any real peace and quiet.

 

[heartofcourage]

Emma wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, kissing him a little deeper. When she pulled away, she let out a sigh and pressed her forehead against his own.

"Take me to bed, Boar. But...be gentle?" She asked him, a little shy still about the way she looked despite him telling her that it didn't matter to him.