Theology for Dummies

[subdued_passion]

Did you know that according to Islam is you commit Jihad (die fighting for your faith), you will get to fuck 72 virgins in heaven.


Now, just think how much better this world would be if you gave those suicide bombers/terrorists just one experienced woman in this life.



See, whatever the problem in life, the solution is always sex or more sex or lots more sex.

 

[subdued_passion]

Why is that so many women will pour milk over Shiv's ling (penis) but will not lick it off their own man?

Is it the big black cock fixation at the heart of this issue?

 

[ShortChangeHero]

Did you know that according to Islam is you commit Jihad (die fighting for your faith), you will get to fuck 72 virgins in heaven.


Now, just think how much better this world would be if you gave those suicide bombers/terrorists just one experienced woman in this life.



See, whatever the problem in life, the solution is always sex or more sex or lots more sex.

On the subject of virgins...

 

[cowslinger64]

lol...


Family Guy Virgins

 

[ShortChangeHero]

lol...


Family Guy Virgins

I think Billy Connolly said it best, and I'm paraphrasing here (also, imagine it in a thick Scottish accent):
"I don't want 72 fucking virgins! Just give me TWO FIRE-BREATHIN' WHORES!"

 

[subdued_passion]

I think Billy Connolly said it best, and I'm paraphrasing here (also, imagine it in a thick Scottish accent):
"I don't want 72 fucking virgins! Just give me TWO FIRE-BREATHIN' WHORES!"

But won't that leave you feeling a bit... singed?


Just askin.

 

[subdued_passion]

Came across this funny joke and remembered about this thread.



So, what's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne usually comes on a boys face after puberty.





I know, I'm gonna have to go to confession this Saturday. I wonder if Fr. Mike will be around?

 

[ShortChangeHero]

So, what's the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne usually comes on a boys face after puberty.

Reminds me of one I heard the other day:
On the eve of their wedding a young couple die together in a horrible car crash. They find themselves at the gates of Heaven welcomed by St. Peter. They ask if it's possible if they can have a proper wedding, as they are both good Christians and want to spend eternity as a proper husband and wife. The wife requests a Catholic ceremony as that is how she was raised. St. Peter sighs and says, "Okay, give me a minute," and walks off into Heaven leaving the couple behind.

Six months later he finally returns with a priest in tow and says they can start organizing the ceremony immediately. The couple look at each other kind of sheepishly. St. Peter, his patience wearing thin says, "Jeez, what the hell do you two want now??"

The young man says, "Well, you left us here for six months. All we had to do was talk. We've never been alone together for that long before, and we kinda learned a lot of stuff about each other that we never knew. Honestly? We're not entirely sure that this will work out. I mean, we still want to try, but in case it doesn't is it possible to get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter throws up his hands and says, "For God's sake! It took me six months to find a priest up here! How long do you think it'll take me to find a fucking lawyer?!?"

 

[subdued_passion]

I think the title of this thread is scaring for people off. We all have those burning questions about God and religion but who wants to look like a dummy?

<- This girl!

Sorry, wrong thread I think.