Things I learned from Cartoons

[voluptuary_manque]

Setting a Burmese Tiger Trap will only trap you a Burmese tiger!

 

[Stella_Omega]

A really interesting monster should have a really interesting hairdo.

 

[Weird Harold]

Corollary to number 5: There is no company but Acme.

Marvin the Martian gets his gadgets from ACE, not ACME.

If you run off a cliff or other high place, DON'T LOOK DOWN! You can't fall until you notice the lack of support -- or if you haven't studied law.

ACME Inc. is a division of Roadrunner Industries.

Two Mice can eat an entire Thanksgiving banquet in less than ten seconds.

Getting drunk causes immediate, incurable hiccups and (often) a red nose you could guide a sleigh with.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

never think you can outrun that mouse "Ándale! Ándale! Arriba! Arriba!"!

 

[TheeGoatPig]

All you have to do is reach off screen for any building materials you may need, and anything can be built in second with those materials.

 

[PoppingTom]

Never mess with ants!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

CLOUDY gets all the news she needs from the weather report, and her entire fund of epistemology comes from cartoons.

 

[glynndah]

Octopi and spiders are extraordinarily good piano players.

 

[egelante]

Octopi and spiders are extraordinarily good piano players.

As are cats!

 

[Weird Harold]

As are cats!

Yet cats seldom play "kitten on the keys"

Speaking of pianos: Never, ever, play "her endearing young charms" correctly; hitting that last note correctly will get you blown up!

 

[oggbashan]

Most explosives are detonated by lighting a match.

Whoever lights the explosive will be the one blown up by it.

Og

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Most explosives are detonated by lighting a match.

Whoever lights the explosive will be the one blown up by it.

Og

But will only be blackened and surprised by the event.

 

[Katyusha]

But will only be blackened and surprised by the event.

No...sometimes he'll be blown to smithereens, but he only needs to wait for a scene change to be whole again.

 

[Huckleman2000]

You can never catch the Road Runner; but you'll never die trying, either.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

If you can say "That's despicable" without spitting, you're not saying it right.

 

[rgraham666]

Time and space are highly malleable things.

 

[TxRad]

If you can say "That's despicable" without spitting, you're not saying it right.

And it has to be said with your tongue stuck out.

 

[Handley_Page]

All you have to do is reach off screen for any building materials you may need, and anything can be built in second with those materials.

and with the simplest of tools - a hammer

 

[TE999]

One must always exit stage left.

One must "Hate all meeses to pieces."

A masked heroes weapon is always a guitar.

To run properly, one must first run in place accompanied by the sound of drumsticks hitting a gourd, then flash away to the sound of a slide whistle.

Alligators have a foolish laugh.

Great Dane dogs can talk (sorta).

Shopping malls will exist in the future and teenagers will still hang out in them.

 

[mythtrav16]

Lesbian bars don't have fire exits.

On one's journey to marry their true love, one must learn to put up with a genie who has multiple personality disorder.

Elephant guns are only for shooting Elephants.

If you shoot an elephant, they will give you such a pinch.

All brainiacs can build a machine that can do anything, from ordinary household objects.

We could fix all our law enforcement woes if we simply gave all cops a helicopter hat, an inflatable trenchcoat, telescopic metal legs and a smart blonde girl and bipedal dog to assist them.

 

[Handley_Page]

All deputy Park Rangers are really stupid.

 

[TE999]

Pet shops offer gorillas for sale.

All bosses are short and ill-tempered.

Children never mature beyond a specific age.

All fathers are either benign bumblers or irascible tyrants.

 

[Handley_Page]

Peanuts or other small items of food, when thrown up, can always be caught in the mouth coming down.

 

[rgraham666]

If they don't turn into an anvil first.

Also, you can only escape from something when it's funny.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

A sandwich of any size can be compacted into the size of a normal sandwich by simply tying a string around it.