Things I learned from Cartoons

[Weird Harold]

Elephants can hide in umbrella stands and Lions can hide in the shade of a floor lamp.

You can hide behind any tree no matter how slim. Your horse can hide with you. The villian can hde behind the same tree without being noticed if he come from the other direction.

 

[glynndah]

1. That lion's shadow is often cast by a wee kitten.

2. Horses can tiptoe.

3. When cutting through the ice, a handsaw always makes a perfect circle.

4. If an ugly person looks in a mirror, the mirror cracks.

 

[Weird Harold]

3. When cutting through the ice, a handsaw always makes a perfect circle.

When cutting a circle in ice or a floor to cause harm to a mouse, small bird or rabbit, the ouside of the circle is what will sink.

The same principle applies to sawing through a branch or high diving board; the tree or ladder will fall instead.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Girls always have loud, shrieking voices.

Men can treat their wives like utter shit, the wife will always forgive him in the end of the show.

 

[Seurat]

Males can fool anybody into thinking they are females with the simple addition of a wig and lipstic, especially if they are raddits.

The tweety bird always wins.

As does the road runner.

The Leghorn chicken always loses.

As does the coyote.

Never anger the genie of the lamp, then say, "Consequences, Shmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

You will always make a wrong turn when going to Pizmo beach.

If you are stunned by a blow to the headd, you can walk off the edge of a skyscraper and providence will provide you with a means of survival by placing ropes, beams, etc. in your path to save you from falling.

 

[Weird Harold]

Girls always have loud, shrieking voices.

Men can treat their wives like utter shit, the wife will always forgive him in the end of the show.

You've been watching different cartoons than I have.

No matter how macho, husbands turn meek and submissive when the wife turns up -- usually with a skillet or rolling pin.

Wives are always smarter than husband and don't jump to conclusions.

 

[Weird Harold]

The tweety bird always wins.

A tweety bird, mouse, or undersized chiceknhawk on ice skates is heavy enough to cut a hole in a frozen pond simply by skating in a circle.

 

[glynndah]

When you're conked on the head, blue birds fly around you.

 

[mynameisben]

A gunshot at point blank range can make a victim's head turn black as coal or his hair stand out in starburst spikes, but it is otherwise harmless.

Casually inserting your fingers into the twin barrels of a shotgun effectively reverses the direction of an ensuing blast.

Neither cats nor dogs have ass holes.

Every home has at least one anvil, invariably kept upstairs.

Rockets hunch down a little before they blast off.

If you paint a black tunnel entrance onto the face of a rock in the middle of the desert, a train will come barreling through it in a matter of seconds.

If you run off the edge of a cliff, gravity will wait until you notice.

All politicians are duplicitous, blustering windbags. (Hmm...)

 

[oggbashan]

Spinach produces instant muscles.

Olive Oyl is so attractive that strong men continually fight over her.

Pipe-smoking is acceptable if you are a sailor.

Cigarettes are/were an invariable prop for Andy Capp, his wife and his friends. (now missing from more modern Andy Capp cartoons)

Peter Firmin and Oliver Postgate cartoon films are classics even though the animation was extremely basic - e.g Ivor the Engine.

Asterix is funny in French AND in most translations.

Og