The_gladiator
Avatar of Fantasy
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2007
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Things Often Aren't What They Seem
By IntencityRising and The Gladiator
From the private journals of Greg Baxter
I’m not going to start by writing dear diary or something hokey like that. Its cliché. It makes you wonder if people start journal entries with Dear Diary because its traditional, or are they just lazy and don’t know how to come up with a more creative way to start a journal entry.
Anyway am I rambling? Oh well, it is what it is. This is my story and I suppose I can tell it however the heck I want, and if at times that means I was philosophical on the meanings of life, or why everyone that calls my phone calls me Ma’am, I’ll do so. Speaking of which I really need to start by answering the phone “Hello.” Damn, now I’m laughing at myself because I wrote that acting like you all could hear the gruff voice I adopted when I say that out loud to people, on those occasions I try to be funny, typically at my own expense.
Anyway, where was I? Dave Peters had just shoved my head in a toilet? Had we gotten that far? No, we hadn’t gotten there yet. Listen to me, I act like I’ve already told some of the story, but come on, it made you go wait, did I miss something? You probably even looked back through the other paragraphs to see if you misread.
So this is me, I’m Gregory Andrew Baxter, because my mother is heartless and thought naming a kid something that would give him the initials GAB, was somehow ok. All I can say is, at least my last name wasn’t smith, and I can just hear the fart jokes now. Instead I just get “Gabby Greg won’t shut up, would talk to a fence post watching the sun come up.” Or variations on that theme. I never said my classmates were creative. The level of intelligence—see, that’s a joke right there—is startlingly lacking. There’s a part of me that wonders if all high -schoolers are this stupid—or—are my classmates worse than the average. Oh yes, I could so see my school rating below average. Oh we did well on tests, but was that because like 5 of us so call nerds skewed the normal distribution to the positive rather than the majority of people being intelligent. Either way, I’m not sure this line of discussion is relevant to the story.
So, what is the story you ask? Why, thank you for asking. Why, it’s the story of my life, of course, sorted, screwed up, and sometimes *gasp* even interesting. This is the story of my life, which may or may not be true, parts may be added, changed or deleted to protect the reader from boredom. And by the end, I may even have found love and lived happily ever after—if such a thing even exists—which I’m pretty sure doesn’t. It’s all just a marketing ploy to sell movies about women with no voices and tiny Jamaican Crabs.
The only question now is, where do I begin? Well, I guess where I started earlier was good. My head was soaked in toilet water…
****************
Greg struggled in vein to pull free of Dave’s vicelike grip, but the linebacker was having none of the skinny kid’s struggles. Greg could see the water drawing closer and closer to his face. Thinking quickly Greg managed to snatch his glasses off before he went under. Saving him some time from having to clean them off too. Laughing the jocks that had watched soon left, leaving Greg on his own.
15 minutes later, Greg made it to his world literature course, after sneaking into the locker room to shower; he wasn’t going to class with that much poop in his hair, not a pretty sight. This wasn’t a new occurrence for him, and one of the reasons he had short hair now. He managed to sneak in and Mrs. Davis, rambling on, didn't even notice.
At 18, Greg was a senior at his high school. He could have been almost graduated from college, with all his Advanced Placement scores along with his post-secondary option classes; however his parents did not want him to graduate early. They said that students that did were socially awkward and did not have friends. He tried to tell them, that one more year at this shit hole was not going to make a difference, and if he had not made friends by the time he was a senior, it probably wasn’t going to happen. Ok, so he had some friends, the suck-ups that wanted him to do their homework, the Jocks who loved to hate him and beat him up—so those weren’t friends—either group. However, he’d take a suck-up over a jock any day. He did have some nerd and other gamer type friends, but even they were few, most had a competitive streak and did not like that Greg had the highest scores. Very few that he could call his true friends.
A boring lecture about Shakespeare later and Greg found himself in the cafeteria, collecting his lunch and sitting by himself, per usual, whenever he had his way. People thought that sitting alone was a hardship for him, but in all honesty it beat someone sitting next to him looking over his shoulder trying to copy his math homework, or better yet get him to do theirs. He sat eating his sandwich he packed from home, little did he know that his life was about to change.
By IntencityRising and The Gladiator
From the private journals of Greg Baxter
I’m not going to start by writing dear diary or something hokey like that. Its cliché. It makes you wonder if people start journal entries with Dear Diary because its traditional, or are they just lazy and don’t know how to come up with a more creative way to start a journal entry.
Anyway am I rambling? Oh well, it is what it is. This is my story and I suppose I can tell it however the heck I want, and if at times that means I was philosophical on the meanings of life, or why everyone that calls my phone calls me Ma’am, I’ll do so. Speaking of which I really need to start by answering the phone “Hello.” Damn, now I’m laughing at myself because I wrote that acting like you all could hear the gruff voice I adopted when I say that out loud to people, on those occasions I try to be funny, typically at my own expense.
Anyway, where was I? Dave Peters had just shoved my head in a toilet? Had we gotten that far? No, we hadn’t gotten there yet. Listen to me, I act like I’ve already told some of the story, but come on, it made you go wait, did I miss something? You probably even looked back through the other paragraphs to see if you misread.
So this is me, I’m Gregory Andrew Baxter, because my mother is heartless and thought naming a kid something that would give him the initials GAB, was somehow ok. All I can say is, at least my last name wasn’t smith, and I can just hear the fart jokes now. Instead I just get “Gabby Greg won’t shut up, would talk to a fence post watching the sun come up.” Or variations on that theme. I never said my classmates were creative. The level of intelligence—see, that’s a joke right there—is startlingly lacking. There’s a part of me that wonders if all high -schoolers are this stupid—or—are my classmates worse than the average. Oh yes, I could so see my school rating below average. Oh we did well on tests, but was that because like 5 of us so call nerds skewed the normal distribution to the positive rather than the majority of people being intelligent. Either way, I’m not sure this line of discussion is relevant to the story.
So, what is the story you ask? Why, thank you for asking. Why, it’s the story of my life, of course, sorted, screwed up, and sometimes *gasp* even interesting. This is the story of my life, which may or may not be true, parts may be added, changed or deleted to protect the reader from boredom. And by the end, I may even have found love and lived happily ever after—if such a thing even exists—which I’m pretty sure doesn’t. It’s all just a marketing ploy to sell movies about women with no voices and tiny Jamaican Crabs.
The only question now is, where do I begin? Well, I guess where I started earlier was good. My head was soaked in toilet water…
****************
Greg struggled in vein to pull free of Dave’s vicelike grip, but the linebacker was having none of the skinny kid’s struggles. Greg could see the water drawing closer and closer to his face. Thinking quickly Greg managed to snatch his glasses off before he went under. Saving him some time from having to clean them off too. Laughing the jocks that had watched soon left, leaving Greg on his own.
15 minutes later, Greg made it to his world literature course, after sneaking into the locker room to shower; he wasn’t going to class with that much poop in his hair, not a pretty sight. This wasn’t a new occurrence for him, and one of the reasons he had short hair now. He managed to sneak in and Mrs. Davis, rambling on, didn't even notice.
At 18, Greg was a senior at his high school. He could have been almost graduated from college, with all his Advanced Placement scores along with his post-secondary option classes; however his parents did not want him to graduate early. They said that students that did were socially awkward and did not have friends. He tried to tell them, that one more year at this shit hole was not going to make a difference, and if he had not made friends by the time he was a senior, it probably wasn’t going to happen. Ok, so he had some friends, the suck-ups that wanted him to do their homework, the Jocks who loved to hate him and beat him up—so those weren’t friends—either group. However, he’d take a suck-up over a jock any day. He did have some nerd and other gamer type friends, but even they were few, most had a competitive streak and did not like that Greg had the highest scores. Very few that he could call his true friends.
A boring lecture about Shakespeare later and Greg found himself in the cafeteria, collecting his lunch and sitting by himself, per usual, whenever he had his way. People thought that sitting alone was a hardship for him, but in all honesty it beat someone sitting next to him looking over his shoulder trying to copy his math homework, or better yet get him to do theirs. He sat eating his sandwich he packed from home, little did he know that his life was about to change.