willywanker
just one man's opinion
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2000
- Posts
- 3,620
1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken
our skin?
2. Why can't women put on mascara with their
mouth closed?
3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the
bottle?
4. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic
Wins Lottery"?
5. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
6. Why is a boxing ring square?
7. Why is it considered necessary to nail down
the lid of a coffin?
8. Why is it that doctors call what they do
"practice"?
9. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
10. Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to
click on "Start"?
11. Why is it that when you're driving and looking
for an address, you
turn down the volume on the radio?
12. Why is lemon juice made with artificial
flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
13. Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker?
14. Why is the third hand on the watch called a
second hand?
15. Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?
16. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of
your feet?
17. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
18. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
19. If you throw a cat out of the car
window, does it become kitty litter?
2o.If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
21.If you take an Asian person and spin him round several
times does he become disoriented?
22.Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
23.What do chickens think we taste like?
24. What do people in China call their good plates?
25. What do you call a male ladybug?
26. What hair color do they put on the driver's license of
a bald man?
27.When dog food is new and improved tasting,who tests it? 28. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
29. Why do they sterilize the needle for
lethal injections?
30.Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
31.Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
32.Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
33. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? i iz hukt on fonix
34. Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
35. Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
36.Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
37.Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical
situations?
38.How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
39.If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day,365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
40.You know that indestructible black box used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
41.If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
42.If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
43.If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
44.If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
45.Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
46.Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something
by ship it's called cargo?
47.Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
48.What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
49.Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck
together?
50.If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
51.If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the
terminal?
our skin?
2. Why can't women put on mascara with their
mouth closed?
3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the
bottle?
4. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic
Wins Lottery"?
5. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
6. Why is a boxing ring square?
7. Why is it considered necessary to nail down
the lid of a coffin?
8. Why is it that doctors call what they do
"practice"?
9. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
10. Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to
click on "Start"?
11. Why is it that when you're driving and looking
for an address, you
turn down the volume on the radio?
12. Why is lemon juice made with artificial
flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
13. Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker?
14. Why is the third hand on the watch called a
second hand?
15. Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?
16. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of
your feet?
17. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
18. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
19. If you throw a cat out of the car
window, does it become kitty litter?
2o.If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
21.If you take an Asian person and spin him round several
times does he become disoriented?
22.Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
23.What do chickens think we taste like?
24. What do people in China call their good plates?
25. What do you call a male ladybug?
26. What hair color do they put on the driver's license of
a bald man?
27.When dog food is new and improved tasting,who tests it? 28. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
29. Why do they sterilize the needle for
lethal injections?
30.Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
31.Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
32.Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
33. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? i iz hukt on fonix
34. Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
35. Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
36.Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
37.Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical
situations?
38.How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
39.If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day,365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
40.You know that indestructible black box used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
41.If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
42.If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
43.If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
44.If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
45.Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
46.Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something
by ship it's called cargo?
47.Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
48.What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
49.Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck
together?
50.If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
51.If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the
terminal?
