Tips for sending PMs and actually getting a response

[Reba67]

1) Say more than "Hi. ASL? Wanna chat?"

2) Don't ask for cybersex right away. Just because I come to a site like this doesn't mean that I want to do cybersex. And, just because I'm online doesn't mean I have time to cybersex anyways.

3) Tell me something that made you PM me other than the fact that you saw that I was online and my username is vaguely female.

4) If I don't respond, don't repeatedly send a message. This will guarantee you get put on the ignore list.

 

[ShortRange]

is that why you didn't respond to all of my PMs????

 

[Chicklet]

don't tell me i'm pretty, delicious, sexy, etc.

don't *address* me as pretty, delicious, or sexy. "Hey sexy." NEVER GOING TO RESPOND.

if you write an actual message, you might get a response.

 

[SimpleGifts]

My assessment (as a guy) is that many guys ascribe to the gambler's fallacy. They assume that sending a PM that asks for immediate cybersex, or even sex, will get a positive response 0.1% of the time...which means that if they send that PM to 1,000 women, they have a 100% chance of getting a positive response from one of them. Or, even worse, if they send 1,000 PMs to the SAME woman, she will say yes to the 1,000th PM. News flash--your chance of success EVERY TIME is only 0.1%.

It's unfortunate that guys like that make it difficult for men who actually come here hoping to engage in substantive discourse. Such is life.

SG

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

SIMPLEGIFT

It works for me all the time.

Can I have a nekkid pic of you?

 

[his_lil_secret]

don't tell me all about how attractive you are and how much you like sex.

don't address me as baby, honey, sugar, sexy or any other half assed frat boy term of endearment.

it's been said before but it bears repeating... DON'T EXPECT THAT I'M GOING TO JUST JUMP RIGHT INTO CYBER SEX! I don't care how "good" you are. I don't care how "hard" I made you, or how "turned on" you got by my profile (which say I am a married mother of three OOOOHHH that is really smoking hot! )

don't send me links to photos of your penis or video of you masturbating. I don't want to see them.

don't write me a really bad description of what you'd do to me.

For the record...I have recieved PM's containing all of the above.

If you want to get answers just be a human being. be friendly, engage in conversation not bullshit.

 

[somberReality]

Here's my simple plan:

Don't pm me unless i ask you to OR unless you have something noteworthy to say to me

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

C'mon! You guys always give in. Men know it. Sooner or later your hormones say "Send him a nekkid pic." And you say, "Yes, master."

 

[goddessinjapan]

Flirt. Is that so tough? Be human, be polite, and flirt.

Not with me, my dance card is filled.

 

[Noor]

C'mon! You guys always give in. Men know it. Sooner or later your hormones say "Send him a nekkid pic." And you say, "Yes, master."

If we were guys we might, but we are women and we don't, it only happens in your dreams. Sorry...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Well, maybe its me, but females have been coming up to me since I was 5 saying "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

 

[Lordmikel]

1) Say more than "Hi. ASL? Wanna chat?"

2) Don't ask for cybersex right away. Just because I come to a site like this doesn't mean that I want to do cybersex. And, just because I'm online doesn't mean I have time to cybersex anyways.

3) Tell me something that made you PM me other than the fact that you saw that I was online and my username is vaguely female.

4) If I don't respond, don't repeatedly send a message. This will guarantee you get put on the ignore list.

I must be overly picky, because I wouldn't PM you to start. You don't have a profile.

But then I would look at where you've posted, and you actually appear to be very smart. You post in conversations and they are quite informative and not simply sacrastic.

Rule number 3 is so important. This goes for both men and women. I'll have a woman pm me and not be able to handle a conversation. Paranoia has taught me, if a women pms a guy, odds are good, might be a guy in disguise. So I always play it cool, let them lead and handle the conversation and watch it fizzle.

 

[Juggins]

..........

 

[PertPerth]

4) If I don't respond, don't repeatedly send a message. This will guarantee you get put on the ignore list.

Quoted for emphasis.

In addition, if you get a "no thanks" response, don't try again. Try to at least remember who you've spammed with PMs!! (I guess it's like trying to remember which girl you've already tried to pick up at a bar )

 

[silverwhisper]

SG quoth:
my assessment (as a guy) is that many guys ascribe to the gambler's fallacy. they assume that sending a PM that asks for immediate cybersex, or even sex, will get a positive response 0.1% of the time...which means that if they send that PM to 1,000 women, they have a 100% chance of getting a positive response from one of them.

basically, they're spammers. :>

ed

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I've lost count of the 'kneel bitch' pms I've had when it states in both my title and sig line that I'm well and truly spoken for. Not only that but my gut response is always 'why the fuck should I? what makes you so great exactly?'

Don't assume that because I'm submissive I'm also a brainless nympho slut. Or that I'm submissive to everyone.

Fucking SPELLCHECK! How hard is it so write something vaguely literate? Do not use textspeak (e.g. r u sgle?) it's lazy and disrespectful.

Do not get offended and pick a fight with me when I do not reply or send a concise 'no thanks.' YOU WILL NOT EVER WIN.

Do not ask all about my sexual tastes and absolutely nothing about my personality.

 

[MercyMia]

Don't PM a generic message to all the women who happen to be online at the same time. Somehow, we're super-perceptive and we can smell the one-size-fits-all nature of the PM. Just say hi and how long you've been on Lit and what you had for breakfast (nothing x-rated please). No pressure, no posturing.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Gee, I thought I was the only one on Lit that every newbie pms saying, "Nice Ass. Wanna cyber?"

 

[scorpio4uok]

1) Say more than "Hi. ASL? Wanna chat?"

2) Don't ask for cybersex right away. Just because I come to a site like this doesn't mean that I want to do cybersex. And, just because I'm online doesn't mean I have time to cybersex anyways.

3) Tell me something that made you PM me other than the fact that you saw that I was online and my username is vaguely female.

4) If I don't respond, don't repeatedly send a message. This will guarantee you get put on the ignore list.

Well you summed it up nicely LOl, dont suppose you wanna chat noww then and tell me about yourself

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

JENNY

Man! You dont get out much.

If it didnt work we wouldnt do it.

You and the others are simply the cost of doing business.

I do believe most women gush and coo whenever a guy says something like "Hey! Honey! Come park that sweet ass on the back of my scooter."

 

[SimpleGifts]

SIMPLEGIFT

It works for me all the time.

Can I have a nekkid pic of you?

Gotta say, even though I'm a GUY, that request really doesn't do anything for me...

SG

 

[PertPerth]

I do believe most women gush and coo whenever a guy says something like "Hey! Honey! Come park that sweet ass on the back of my scooter."

I'm not trying to pick on you, but geez I laughed SO hard when I read this one.

 

[EveAnna]

I've had a few strange ones - especially after my first story was posted - but it was to be expected. I respond to the ones that appeal to me, the others I just read then forget about.

Just to add:- I don't cyber either.

 

[Reba67]

I must be overly picky, because I wouldn't PM you to start. You don't have a profile.

But then I would look at where you've posted, and you actually appear to be very smart. You post in conversations and they are quite informative and not simply sacrastic.

Rule number 3 is so important. This goes for both men and women. I'll have a woman pm me and not be able to handle a conversation. Paranoia has taught me, if a women pms a guy, odds are good, might be a guy in disguise. So I always play it cool, let them lead and handle the conversation and watch it fizzle.

Acutally, in most online forums that I belong to, I don't have a profile. Many of them no profile pic or avatar either. Depends on the forum really. A site like this? I'm a bit more cautious than on other sites I'm on. On many forums, I have the same username forum to forum, but this one is a different username than I've ever used.

I've poked around the other forums on this site, but I like the How to forum. I get no-nonsense answers about topics that I often can't talk to anyone in person about.

 

[WriterDom]

Rarely do I cold PM someone and when I do I don't expect a response.

I enjoy getting them though. Hint hint.