To Bi or not to Bi?

[Queersetti]

I didn't really misunderstand...just took a moment to clarify a personal position. I have been attacked a couple of times for refusing to clarify my sexual orientation to the board in general.
Since I write both straight and gay fiction, the persons involved seemed to be most offended by what they considered to be a dismissive attitude (or at least, a lack of veracity) on my part. I have been puzzled by this, so what you saw above was really me ruminating on the subject. I guess my question is, is this antagonistic attitude prevalent in the gay community?

Unfortunately, many gays are intolerant or dismissive of bisexuals, deriding them as "tourists" or claiming that they are in denial about the true reality of their sexuality.

I do think it is a much less prevalent attitude now that it used to be. There seems to be more understanding of bisexuality and a greater sense of queer solidarity.

 

[Netzach]

Re: Netzach

the reason i know a lil girl like me can one day aspire to finding someone as utterly awesome and smart as She is!!!!

(I love the way You make Your points BTW...i know instinctively that if i had the words...i would have said something similar)

lil girl

*blush*

geez.

 

[cuervorose]

!

Unfortunately, many gays are intolerant or dismissive of bisexuals, deriding them as "tourists" or claiming that they are in denial about the true reality of their sexuality.

I do think it is a much less prevalent attitude now that it used to be. There seems to be more understanding of bisexuality and a greater sense of queer solidarity.

I can relate to having gays label me as "confused". I consider myself (at least in my definition and experience) truly bi. I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally attracted to both men and women and comfortable in a relationship with either. One of the queens (his term, not mine) I work with continually tells me just to pick one because "there's no such thing as bisexuality". He's also said since I'm married then I've made my choice, i.e, I'm straight. It seems, IMO, as though society as a whole is becoming more open and tolerant about homosexuality, but are still leery of bisexuality. Many of my friends and coworkers are OK with the the gays and lesbians that we're friends with but are uncomfortable with MY sexuality as bi. Has anyone else experienced this or is it just me?

 

[Rhys]

No its not just you.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Re: !

I can relate to having gays label me as "confused". I consider myself (at least in my definition and experience) truly bi. I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally attracted to both men and women and comfortable in a relationship with either. One of the queens (his term, not mine) I work with continually tells me just to pick one because "there's no such thing as bisexuality". He's also said since I'm married then I've made my choice, i.e, I'm straight. It seems, IMO, as though society as a whole is becoming more open and tolerant about homosexuality, but are still leery of bisexuality. Many of my friends and coworkers are OK with the the gays and lesbians that we're friends with but are uncomfortable with MY sexuality as bi. Has anyone else experienced this or is it just me?

Though i have never experienced that particular brand of *prejudice* i know many people who have. In my reality, love is love...in whatever shape, form color or gender. The people i am surrounded by understand that and do not denigrate it while i am in their presence. It does seem though, that others who are not as lucky or insulated as i am, feel the brunt of that particular misconception (Confused or not really *bi*) alot. Especially, in an actively *alternative* atmosphere. So like Rhys said, i can almost guarantee, it is not JUST you.

lil girl

 

[Pookie]

Unfortunately, many gays are intolerant or dismissive of bisexuals, deriding them as "tourists" or claiming that they are in denial about the true reality of their sexuality.

I do think it is a much less prevalent attitude now that it used to be. There seems to be more understanding of bisexuality and a greater sense of queer solidarity.

I believe that education has helped both straights and gays to better understand what bisexuality is all about. Ignorance of others is usually the cause of much strife between people. Fortunately with things like the internet, it's easier to learn more about the differences between people, and to understand them better.

I got married to a wonderful man almost two weeks ago. I wonder if any of my friends now think of me as "straight".

 

[Queersetti]

I believe that education has helped both straights and gays to better understand what bisexuality is all about. Ignorance of others is usually the cause of much strife between people. Fortunately with things like the internet, it's easier to learn more about the differences between people, and to understand them better.

I got married to a wonderful man almost two weeks ago. I wonder if any of my friends now think of me as "straight".

I agree that it's mostly about ignorance, but there is a political factor at work as well.

Some gays and lesbians deny the validity of bisexuality either because they take a position of strict separatism for straights and therefore consider bis to be fair weather friends, or because their agendas rely on inflating the size of the gay community, and so they want to label all bis as gays.

 

[Rhys]

I agree that it's mostly about ignorance, but there is a political factor at work as well.

Some gays and lesbians deny the validity of bisexuality either because they take a position of strict separatism for straights and therefore consider bis to be fair weather friends, or because their agendas rely on inflating the size of the gay community, and so they want to label all bis as gays.

Some bisexuals also tend to make different "classes" of bisexuality. If you are attracted to both sexes but haven't acted on it, then you are bicurious. If you have acted on it but did it for the purposes of amusing a member of the opposite sex then you are not really bi at all, you are straight with a left bent. If you sucked a cock and enjoyed it and got your rocks off, but wouldn't make a regular habit of it, or you sport fuck guys without a romantic attachment, then you are bi. If you like fucking guys (this of course provided you are male) and like having a romantic attachment, then you are not bi you are gay. If you like guys, like women, would have a romantic attachment with either one then you are freak of nature and we don't want anything to do with you because you don't fit into one of those neat little catagories above.
So couple that with the fence sitting faction of gays, and the let's add 'em all to the gay population, gays...this is just a tad confusing.

I am of the opinion that when someone finally sorts the label business all out...then I might make a decision. Until then, however, I am just going to go do what it is that I am doing...whatever that is...

 

[alltherage]

This is a subject I've discussed with others at one point or another and I'd like to see it discussed here. Are women who have sex with other women just to please a BF/husband really bi?
Bi curious? Just looking for opinions....



Later,
[/QUOTE Any woman who would have sex with another woman just to please her husband needs an ego coach.

 

[Rhys]

and now I am really confused

what the fuck is a polyamourous bisexual?

I know what a polyamourous individual is...and I used to think I knew what a bisexual was...now they've gone and stuck the two terms together and *really* muddied the water.

Okay so if polyamourous individual...meaning a person involved with mutiple sexual and romantic relationships, is also bisexual...

um...doesn't this all just mean that they are dating heavily?



sorry its off topic but...jesus christ...

 

[bridgenorth]

Bi or bi

Great question, I hope this is a great opinion. Pleasing mates is top priority as long as everyone agrees. Having pleasureable sex is awesome especially if everyone cums. I would say it would be classified as a bi experience.
Bridgenorth

 

[LustiRusti]

This is a subject I've discussed with others at one point or another and I'd like to see it discussed here. Are women who have sex with other women just to please a BF/husband really bi?
Bi curious? Just looking for opinions....

If they are doing it *just* to please their man they are "fake". No real substance there at all. I wouldn't even call them bicurious if they're doing it for their man. If they're doing it for themselves then they're truly are interested.


~Kenzie

 

[cuervorose]

Married=straight????

I believe that education has helped both straights and gays to better understand what bisexuality is all about. Ignorance of others is usually the cause of much strife between people. Fortunately with things like the internet, it's easier to learn more about the differences between people, and to understand them better.

I got married to a wonderful man almost two weeks ago. I wonder if any of my friends now think of me as "straight".

Pookie, I hate to say it, but yeah, they probably do...The minute I say I'm bi to someone, the first words out of their mouth are usually "But I thought you were married??"
Of course I also get the Ewws, the "that's sick", and the occasional "I had a friend like that once", (As though it was a disease they "recovered" from)....Oh well....

Later,

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

and now I am really confused

what the fuck is a polyamourous bisexual?

I know what a polyamourous individual is...and I used to think I knew what a bisexual was...now they've gone and stuck the two terms together and *really* muddied the water.

Okay so if polyamourous individual...meaning a person involved with mutiple sexual and romantic relationships, is also bisexual...

um...doesn't this all just mean that they are dating heavily?



sorry its off topic but...jesus christ...

Actually you got it in one...though i am polyamorous and happily bi...it doesn't really SEEM that way when one is involved in the midst of say a S/m relationship with one person and a g/g relationship with someone else...

lil girl