To the People of America

[Guest]

Golly. Ya think?

My childhood dreams of happy wooden teeth, historical cherry trees and presidential honesty have been shattered.

I need some time to recover.

 

[shereads]

My childhood dreams of happy wooden teeth, historical cherry trees and presidential honesty have been shattered.

Washington didn't have wooden teeth?! Then what the fu*k did he do with the cherry wood?

Next, you'll tell me Ben Franklin didn't discover syphilis while flying a kite. Another cherished illusion turns to dust.

 

[R. Richard]

Golly. Ya think?

Not only that, Mason Weems was NEVER a mason. Sumbitch was a liar from start to finish.

 

[R. Richard]

Next, you'll tell me Ben Franklin didn't discover syphilis while flying a kite. Another cherished illusion turns to dust.

Of course Ben Franklin didn't discover syphlis whilst flying a kite. The one 'ho' she done tol' him, "Go fly a kite!" The next 'ho' done tol' him, you gots the money, honey, I gots the pussy! That's where ol' Ben Franklin done discover syphlis. Get your facts stright.