Too many "daddy" BDSM fantasies!?

[centurion1986]

Why are there so many young (18-26) year old women, or even girls as id call them looking for "daddy" BDSM fantasies! in the BDSM personals board?

I just don't get the psychology behind that?

Can someone explain this please?
What do you think the underlying thought process is?

Discuss...

 

[thesweetsweetness]

Two thoughts. Different strokes for different folks, and to each his or her own.

We can't always control what excites us, sure we can control how we respond to urges, but why hold back?

 

[SpiritRider]

The first step is to understand if they're seeking actual age play or just the caring relationship found between a Daddy and daughter. The two types are worlds apart.

Everybody, without exception, enjoys things differently than everyone else. This is one of many reasons the word "true" (ie. true submissive) should never be involved when talking of what constitutes peoples involvement.

 

[Tryharder62]

Older

Even though I am older at 45 I think the world is a big scary place. For me it is nice to have and think about having someone to protect me. Someone to go to when I don't know what to do. Someone who wants to lead me and take care of me. I think of myself when I was younger and wish I had discovered this aspect of sexuality sooner. In the real world I am the one that takes all the responsibilty - that people look to in a time of crisis. At home I want someone else to take that all away. To take control so I can just be me. I think back to 18-25. Yep, I would want a daddy.

 

[Stella_Omega]

There are not "too many" fantasies of any sort.

You are not responsible for these women's fantasies, pro or con. It is not your duty to chastise them or improve them, or fulfill them. If you don't connect, you don't connect, and that's all there is to that.

 

[CutieMouse]

IMO, the "Daddy Dom" dynamic is simply an easier, shorthand way of expressing a desire for a D/s relationship that includes the romantic / idealized persona of a "Daddy" [think Father Knows Best, with kink] - the Daddy can be male or female, older or younger, etc.

 

[His_pet_slut]

IMO, the "Daddy Dom" dynamic is simply an easier, shorthand way of expressing a desire for a D/s relationship that includes the romantic / idealized persona of a "Daddy" [think Father Knows Best, with kink] - the Daddy can be male or female, older or younger, etc.

That seems to be very prevalent these days. I was playing with a dom for a period of time that at one time stated he could be either a sexual sadist or a 'Daddy Dom' depending on partner/mood/etc...at the phrase 'Daddy Dom' I did an 'ewww' type look and was caught quite off guard. Further conversation revealed he was referring to just what you stated as opposed to actual Daddy/daughter age/role play.

Since then I have heard and seen it used in the same context a fair bit.

 

[BiBunny]

For what it's worth, not everybody into ageplay does the Daddy thing, either.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

... it is nice to have and think about having someone to protect me. Someone to go to when I don't know what to do. Someone who wants to lead me and take care of me. ... I want someone else to take that all away. To take control so I can just be me. I think back to 18-25. Yep, I would want a daddy.

IMO, the "Daddy Dom" dynamic is simply an easier, shorthand way of expressing a desire for a D/s relationship that includes the romantic / idealized persona of a "Daddy" [think Father Knows Best, with kink] - the Daddy can be male or female, older or younger, etc.

I think these quotes encompass most of my thinking on the D/d dynamic to a certain (very large) degree. There are, I am sure, a substantial number of D/d practitioners who get into the age play aspects, etc., but I think for a lot of people, it's the security blanket aspects that apply as much as anything else, especially perhaps for those who find that big wide world out there is more than they're really prepared to handle all by themselves, in the age group delineated by the OP.

There are not "too many" fantasies of any sort.

You are not responsible for these women's fantasies, pro or con. It is not your duty to chastise them or improve them, or fulfill them. If you don't connect, you don't connect, and that's all there is to that.

And Stella (as often is the case) is spot on with her post in both paragraphs.

Fantasies are what keep us going in life. The dreams of a child to become a great inventor, a superhero, the richest person on earth, the parent of wonderful children who will make a difference in the world - these are fantasies, and quite often lead to those children becoming, as adults, outstanding mechanics and engineers, cops and firefighters, entrepreneurs and business-people who provide jobs for others, parent of wonderful children who will make a difference in the world... all from fantasies fulfilled.

And... if you "don't get the psychology [or thought processes] behind that," don't worry about it. It's not part of *your* kinkworld, so just wish them well in finding their best way through life, as I'm sure they wish you well in finding your way through your desires -- that may be just as mysterious to them as theirs are to you.

 

[BiBunny]

Also, cynical me says that a lot of people who have "newly discovered" Daddy fantasies and ageplay fantasies (and sometimes both) have decided that it's an awesome new way to be edgy and kinky without, you know, all that pain and bondage and submission and stuff.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Also, cynical me says that a lot of people who have "newly discovered" Daddy fantasies and ageplay fantasies (and sometimes both) have decided that it's an awesome new way to be edgy and kinky without, you know, all that pain and bondage and submission and stuff.

That wouldn't work for anyone who wanted *me* for a "Daddy." Dollars to donuts she'd be over my knee with her knickers dangling off her ankle while her bottom turned red before very long at all...

I was raised in the 50s and 60s, when corporal punishment, applied to a child's "seat of reason" was very much the norm, you know.

 

[BiBunny]

That wouldn't work for anyone who wanted *me* for a "Daddy." Dollars to donuts she'd be over my knee with her knickers dangling off her ankle while her bottom turned red before very long at all...

I was raised in the 50s and 60s, when corporal punishment, applied to a child's "seat of reason" was very much the norm, you know.

LOL, that's because you don't suck at life. Most of these "Daddies" will tell the girls anything they want to hear. It seems to be the most efficient way for "Daddy" to get his dick in something. It's like HNG "Masters," only a little worse, I think.

 

[Boundlife]

I thought I might be interested in having a Master. I want to give my absolute trust and do my best to please my partner. I want to be lead, taught and have my limits pushed.
But I need care and tenderness with passion. I'm not into big pain....(spankings that's different)
I figured out I would be a very willing baby girl for Daddy.
And the only similarity bettween a Daddy and a father is that they are men who care for their girl

 

[Stella_Omega]

Also, cynical me says that a lot of people who have "newly discovered" Daddy fantasies and ageplay fantasies (and sometimes both) have decided that it's an awesome new way to be edgy and kinky without, you know, all that pain and bondage and submission and stuff.

and honestly, that's fair enough. Some of them will go on to something else, some of them will have come home, so to speak.

 

[Blase]

Reading "Daddy Dom" in a personal can be a bit frustrating because you can't always tell whether a person wants actual age play or is essentially using "Daddy" as code for "not a sadist".

I personally am not seeking age play, nor do I wish to be called Daddy, but I am very comfortable with an age-difference dynamic (and sometimes it turns out that that is quite alright with girls who started out looking for a "Daddy").

I have tried to popularize the term "Kindly, Much Older Male Next Door Dom", but somehow it just hasn't taken off.

 

[His_pet_slut]

I have tried to popularize the term "Kindly, Much Older Male Next Door Dom", but somehow it just hasn't taken off.

Love it!

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Fantasies are what keep us going in life. The dreams of a child to become a great inventor, a superhero, the richest person on earth, the parent of wonderful children who will make a difference in the world - these are fantasies, and quite often lead to those children becoming, as adults, outstanding mechanics and engineers, cops and firefighters, entrepreneurs and business-people who provide jobs for others, parent of wonderful children who will make a difference in the world... all from fantasies fulfilled.

And... if you "don't get the psychology [or thought processes] behind that," don't worry about it. It's not part of *your* kinkworld, so just wish them well in finding their best way through life, as I'm sure they wish you well in finding your way through your desires -- that may be just as mysterious to them as theirs are to you.

SW, this was a lovely read. Thank you.

 

[thesweetsweetness]

I never thought I was into a daddy fetish, but the way its been described here makes me want to be a little girl.

 

[_Stardust]

Dollars to donuts

Sorry, blame it on my age, or not being American, but what on earth does that phrase mean? It sounds yummy

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Sorry, blame it on my age, or not being American, but what on earth does that phrase mean? It sounds yummy

Maybe this will help.

 

[LordMorningwood]

IMO, the "Daddy Dom" dynamic is simply an easier, shorthand way of expressing a desire for a D/s relationship that includes the romantic / idealized persona of a "Daddy" [think Father Knows Best, with kink] - the Daddy can be male or female, older or younger, etc.

Yes, it took me a while to figure this all out, and the concept of "Daddy" dommes is new to me. (Rather intriguing as well, though I might be more comfortable with "Auntie".)

Do they exist? Any ladies out there feel they fall into this category?

 

[Stella_Omega]

In the leather world, a Daddy/Boy relationship assumes that the top has stuff to teach the bottom, and the boy will grow up and possibly become a daddy himself. There is usually a genuine age difference between the partners.

 

[FurryFury]

Sing it!

There are not "too many" fantasies of any sort.

You are not responsible for these women's fantasies, pro or con. It is not your duty to chastise them or improve them, or fulfill them. If you don't connect, you don't connect, and that's all there is to that.

 

[PussyPilot]

Even though I am older at 45 I think the world is a big scary place. For me it is nice to have and think about having someone to protect me. Someone to go to when I don't know what to do. Someone who wants to lead me and take care of me.

Isn't that what a husband/partner is for (if women have got the right one)?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Isn't that what a husband/partner is for (if women have got the right one)?

No, your husband is not your father.