trans and interested in trans

[amylin456]

I can believe it.

why is that ?

 

[TransChick]

why is that ?

There's just a lot that cis people don't get and that you have to compromise on without them even realizing that you're doing it. It's a cisgender world.

It would be nice to be with someone who gets those things. I mean, I don't want to date a clone, and different people are different, but someone who just understands a lot of the basics of my life as a trans woman sounds like it would be such a nice thing.

 

[amylin456]

There's just a lot that cis people don't get and that you have to compromise on without them even realizing that you're doing it. It's a cisgender world.

It would be nice to be with someone who gets those things. I mean, I don't want to date a clone, and different people are different, but someone who just understands a lot of the basics of my life as a trans woman sounds like it would be such a nice thing.

It can take a lot of pressure of if you feel burdened by that aspect. And things can go so much smoother, so natural, not awkward as a lot of life can be..

 

[TransChick]

I guess part of it is that I worry that either I'm something "exotic" for a cis person or they're settling for something that isn't quite as good as "normal".

I'm self-aware enough to know that that's a fucked up way to think, but knowing that doesn't really fix my issues, you know?

 

[amylin456]

I guess part of it is that I worry that either I'm something "exotic" for a cis person or they're settling for something that isn't quite as good as "normal".

I'm self-aware enough to know that that's a fucked up way to think, but knowing that doesn't really fix my issues, you know?

I think is important to know and believe what you want and how you feel without worrying about 'issues' etc.

 

[TransChick]

I think is important to know and believe what you want and how you feel without worrying about 'issues' etc.

I've been doing a ton of therapy and it's helped with a lot of things. When I know I feel negatively about myself for something that I don't need to feel that way about, I try to work on it, and have a meta-conversation with myself about that feeling. I can't get over it just from noticing it, but I do think I can work to get over it over time.

 

[timreh]

There's just a lot that cis people don't get and that you have to compromise on without them even realizing that you're doing it. It's a cisgender world.

It would be nice to be with someone who gets those things. I mean, I don't want to date a clone, and different people are different, but someone who just understands a lot of the basics of my life as a trans woman sounds like it would be such a nice thing.

I guess part of it is that I worry that either I'm something "exotic" for a cis person or they're settling for something that isn't quite as good as "normal".

I'm self-aware enough to know that that's a fucked up way to think, but knowing that doesn't really fix my issues, you know?

I've been doing a ton of therapy and it's helped with a lot of things. When I know I feel negatively about myself for something that I don't need to feel that way about, I try to work on it, and have a meta-conversation with myself about that feeling. I can't get over it just from noticing it, but I do think I can work to get over it over time.

I'm trans, have lived as a female 24/7 for a couple of years now. I understand what you're saying and can relate to it. I'd date any sex / gender if I liked them as a person, but certainly dating another trans person would simplify certain parts of the dating experience, especially at the beginning.

I got tired of the "you're so brave" speeches, got tired of the "you're so cool" comments. Then when I'd suggest catching a movie, or going for coffee, those same folks would suddenly have piles of things they had to do "tonight".

Feh ... I'm more valuable than just being someone's trans buddy so they can think they are being a super-duper ally.

 

[TransChick]

I'm trans, have lived as a female 24/7 for a couple of years now. I understand what you're saying and can relate to it. I'd date any sex / gender if I liked them as a person, but certainly dating another trans person would simplify certain parts of the dating experience, especially at the beginning.

I got tired of the "you're so brave" speeches, got tired of the "you're so cool" comments. Then when I'd suggest catching a movie, or going for coffee, those same folks would suddenly have piles of things they had to do "tonight".

Feh ... I'm more valuable than just being someone's trans buddy so they can think they are being a super-duper ally.

Yep exactly. It's easy for me to meet friends and not so hard to meet sex partners. But meeting people for relationships where they connect with me on a real level is so much harder.

 

[timreh]

Yep exactly. It's easy for me to meet friends and not so hard to meet sex partners. But meeting people for relationships where they connect with me on a real level is so much harder.

Maybe I'm being too picky? The only potential sex partners I stumble across are creepy chaser types.

And I refuse to settle for one of those.

 

[TransChick]

Maybe I'm being too picky? The only potential sex partners I stumble across are creepy chaser types.

And I refuse to settle for one of those.

I've met guys who seemed otherwise normal but who were sort of curious about being with a trans girl. I mean, it's being a checkbox on someone's list, which might not be for everyone, but it was a lot less creepy than hooking up with an actual chaser, IMO.

 

[timreh]

I've met guys who seemed otherwise normal but who were sort of curious about being with a trans girl. I mean, it's being a checkbox on someone's list, which might not be for everyone, but it was a lot less creepy than hooking up with an actual chaser, IMO.

I had one guy who I'd known for about two years express interest in dating me. He identifies as hetero / straight. He assumed there'd be zero sex. When I initiated the safe sex discussion he pretty much freaked out. Literally he was weirded out from that topic. After avoiding each other for a few weeks we went back to being casual friends who might bump into each other at various events in the area.

 

[TransChick]

I had one guy who I'd known for about two years express interest in dating me. He identifies as hetero / straight. He assumed there'd be zero sex. When I initiated the safe sex discussion he pretty much freaked out. Literally he was weirded out from that topic. After avoiding each other for a few weeks we went back to being casual friends who might bump into each other at various events in the area.

Wow, that's creepy and bizarre.

 

[haurni]

And I think there are many times when dating another trans person, male or female, would preferable to dating a cis person. At least with a trans there's some level of cultural competency and real understanding right from the first.

I've heard some trans people say they do this, and for exactly this reason.

 

[timreh]

I've heard some trans people say they do this, and for exactly this reason.

For myself, I'd date anyone who interested me, but I do get tired of having to explain things time after time. For the non-trans person, they may only hearing it once, but for me it is the umpteenth time of explaining things. It is exhausting at times.

Who needs that sort of chaos in their life??

 

[TransChick]

For myself, I'd date anyone who interested me, but I do get tired of having to explain things time after time. For the non-trans person, they may only hearing it once, but for me it is the umpteenth time of explaining things. It is exhausting at times.

Exactly.

 

[Somehowyou]

I'm trans, have lived as a female 24/7 for a couple of years now. I understand what you're saying and can relate to it. I'd date any sex / gender if I liked them as a person, but certainly dating another trans person would simplify certain parts of the dating experience, especially at the beginning.

I got tired of the "you're so brave" speeches, got tired of the "you're so cool" comments. Then when I'd suggest catching a movie, or going for coffee, those same folks would suddenly have piles of things they had to do "tonight".

Feh ... I'm more valuable than just being someone's trans buddy so they can think they are being a super-duper ally.

I am glad you explained this. This kind of makes sense now. I think it is hard for a straight male (even a gay male) to say I want to have a relationship with a trans-woman and then not be curious and want to talk about it.

I think that the OP should consider seeing a few TS Escorts. Check out reviews and carefully select personable, non-drug using TS escorts. These professional gurls can be really good ambassadors.

Also, there are a couple of legit TS dating sites. I have met a few gurls from Asia that are looking for relationships online. I think they would be patient.

 

[timreh]

I am glad you explained this. This kind of makes sense now. I think it is hard for a straight male (even a gay male) to say I want to have a relationship with a trans-woman and then not be curious and want to talk about it.

I think that the OP should consider seeing a few TS Escorts. Check out reviews and carefully select personable, non-drug using TS escorts. These professional gurls can be really good ambassadors.

Also, there are a couple of legit TS dating sites. I have met a few gurls from Asia that are looking for relationships online. I think they would be patient.

To me, and I'm only speaking for myself here, there's a huge difference between a transgender person, and a transsexual person.

As far as dating me, if someone works from the assumption that I'm a normal human being, with hopes and fears and goals and disappointments, just like everyone else, then things should be fine. Putting a label on me doesn't do anyone a favor. If "you" have to label me, then label me a female, the state and federal governments do, as do my doctors. As far as hopping in the sack, as my favorite Army nurse likes to say, "Once two people end up under the sheets, it's just plumbing, and anyone can figure out plumbing."

 

[TransChick]

I am glad you explained this. This kind of makes sense now. I think it is hard for a straight male (even a gay male) to say I want to have a relationship with a trans-woman and then not be curious and want to talk about it.

For me, curious is fine, just talking about it is fine. It's everything that goes with the assumption that cis people are just normal and we're something exotic and fundamentally sexual and that dating us is some kind of unique experience.

I'm willing to talk about what's in my pants with a partner, but it's the least interesting thing about me. I'm willing to talk about what my experience has been like being trans, but I want it to just be this thing that's a part of my life just like lots of other things, not this huge thing hanging over a relationship changing everything.

 

[Somehowyou]

For me, curious is fine, just talking about it is fine. It's everything that goes with the assumption that cis people are just normal and we're something exotic and fundamentally sexual and that dating us is some kind of unique experience.

I'm willing to talk about what's in my pants with a partner, but it's the least interesting thing about me. I'm willing to talk about what my experience has been like being trans, but I want it to just be this thing that's a part of my life just like lots of other things, not this huge thing hanging over a relationship changing everything.

Hey TransChick.... I'm cis at least I think I am (am I?) Anyway, I have to say that dating me is some kind of unique experience and I am fundamentally sexual....and even a little cute.

 

[Somehowyou]

As far as dating me, if someone works from the assumption that I'm a normal human being, with hopes and fears and goals and disappointments, just like everyone else, then things should be fine. Putting a label on me doesn't do anyone a favor. If "you" have to label me, then label me a female, the state and federal governments do, as do my doctors.

Easy as pie. If you are my friend then I would label you and treat you like any female that I was interested in.

As far as hopping in the sack, as my favorite Army nurse likes to say, "Once two people end up under the sheets, it's just plumbing, and anyone can figure out plumbing."

LOL I like this. Yep, I think this is about right. But still, I would wonder about you...but that is not any different than any other girl I have been with. Couldn't wait to get their clothes off either.

 

[timreh]

For me, curious is fine, just talking about it is fine. It's everything that goes with the assumption that cis people are just normal and we're something exotic and fundamentally sexual and that dating us is some kind of unique experience.

I'm willing to talk about what's in my pants with a partner, but it's the least interesting thing about me. I'm willing to talk about what my experience has been like being trans, but I want it to just be this thing that's a part of my life just like lots of other things, not this huge thing hanging over a relationship changing everything.

You said that far more eloquently than I did.

I'm a product of ALL my life experiences, being trans is just one of those. For me, being trans is just part of my daily life, and a part that I rarely actually ponder. I'm me, I get up in the morning, shower and head out, just like countless other women do every day.

What I do with my life, who I am as a person, those are the areas / topics I would hope would be interesting to someone considering being my friend or maybe even dating me.

 

[Somehowyou]

...and like the OP, we men that are into transgendered MTF...well, we can't help it. We can't help what the fuck we are into just like you can't help how you were born. I am into women. My mother used to talk about babies belly buttons as innies and outies. I feel that way about women. Some have innies and some have outies. Both can be a lot of fun between the sheets. Now the question is....Am I attracted to you?

 

[Iwantitnowpleas]

My desire is to have a trans girl for a good friend. I'm a closeted CD and being able to hang out dressed with someone who understands is a fantasy of mine. How it would feel like having an older sister helping me learn about fashion and makeup. If the relationship became something more than friendship I would be okay with that too.

 

[Thuggedout]

For me, curious is fine, just talking about it is fine. It's everything that goes with the assumption that cis people are just normal and we're something exotic and fundamentally sexual and that dating us is some kind of unique experience.

I'm willing to talk about what's in my pants with a partner, but it's the least interesting thing about me. I'm willing to talk about what my experience has been like being trans, but I want it to just be this thing that's a part of my life just like lots of other things, not this huge thing hanging over a relationship changing everything.

Amen!
I used to get all caught up on labels and such before I even knew what a label was. I find the human personality is the most attractive thing in the world. I'm much more interested in what's under ones har then what's in their pants.

 

[alexis52]

It would be a lot of fun I think....I would love to have another transgender girl to share life experiences with , both past and present .