transgender issues and how they affect U

[lincspoacher]

as subject

As a straight (whatever that means) Man .. my experiences of TG issues have only been via my TG partners .. but I have to say that thus far they have been positive .. dare I say that I've found the people with the most or worst "issues" tend to create them themselves ?

For example,I use a TG Dating Site & Chatroom & was in there briefly last night .. there was a Lady there from USA who simply couldn't accept that some Girls like to visit venues together as a means of mutual support .. her argument was that "Assertiveness Training" was the answer to everything .. she argued against the fact that not everyone was as assertive as she is & that,particularly in the early stages of Transition some people require more support from their peers than others .. I accept that as one gets further away from Transitioning one might not wish to frequent "Scene" venues .. and that's fine but to decry others less positive or confident seems to me to be quite harmful .. and certainly not helpful to people trying to find their feet.

But then as a mere Man .. what do I know ? ...

Bye for now,

Poacher ..

 

[QueenPentacles]

As a straight (whatever that means) Man .. my experiences of TG issues have only been via my TG partners .. but I have to say that thus far they have been positive .. dare I say that I've found the people with the most or worst "issues" tend to create them themselves ?

For example,I use a TG Dating Site & Chatroom & was in there briefly last night .. there was a Lady there from USA who simply couldn't accept that some Girls like to visit venues together as a means of mutual support .. her argument was that "Assertiveness Training" was the answer to everything .. she argued against the fact that not everyone was as assertive as she is & that,particularly in the early stages of Transition some people require more support from their peers than others .. I accept that as one gets further away from Transitioning one might not wish to frequent "Scene" venues .. and that's fine but to decry others less positive or confident seems to me to be quite harmful .. and certainly not helpful to people trying to find their feet.

But then as a mere Man .. what do I know ? ...

Bye for now,

Poacher ..

Hi Poacher! Thanks for your post to me - Sorry have been away from the computer the last few days packing and such for the move... We have similar laws as well. However enforcing them are a completely different situation. What goes on in the mind of the person hiring you and what they put on paper are two differnet things in a lot of cases. I've been told most back ground checks only go back 10 years, in which case I should be fine, at least on paper. When they call my last job for references how ever may be another story... I transitioned there, fought a lot of up hill battle with most of the people to get them to change their pronoun use when addressing me. There are still many people even after 15 years that still failed to transition with me, even within my HR office area. So my concern is a new employer getting a hold of one of these backwards bumpkins and having the bumpkin screw up the pronouns, raising the questions and possible discrimination.

Queen of Pentacles

PS sorry about the typos - made corrections - post was originally made at 4 am and I was very sleepy

 

[lincspoacher]

as subject

Hi again Queen,

I do appreciate the truth & reality of what you say .. but ...

You certainly come across,to me at any rate .. as a sane & personable type,so let's hope any potential employer will give you the opportunity to prove yourself for who you really are .. needless to say but I wish you every success.

Bye for now,

Poacher ..

 

[QueenPentacles]

As a straight (whatever that means) Man .. my experiences of TG issues have only been via my TG partners .. but I have to say that thus far they have been positive .. dare I say that I've found the people with the most or worst "issues" tend to create them themselves ?

For example,I use a TG Dating Site & Chatroom & was in there briefly last night .. there was a Lady there from USA who simply couldn't accept that some Girls like to visit venues together as a means of mutual support .. her argument was that "Assertiveness Training" was the answer to everything .. she argued against the fact that not everyone was as assertive as she is & that,particularly in the early stages of Transition some people require more support from their peers than others .. I accept that as one gets further away from Transitioning one might not wish to frequent "Scene" venues .. and that's fine but to decry others less positive or confident seems to me to be quite harmful .. and certainly not helpful to people trying to find their feet.

But then as a mere Man .. what do I know ? ...

Bye for now,

Poacher ..

Hello again,
Meant to talk about this one last night too but again 4 am, packing all day and was nodding off at the keyboard. I don't know what this persons issue was. One of the things they teach in the group sessions that I've attended is there is safety in numbers... basic self defense for women across the board, Trans or Genetic. This person sounds to me like they are having more than a Self Assertiveness issues... I honestly don't know, but I don't think you were saying anything wrong at all Poacher - sounds like this was this one person's issue.
Another thing, and perhaps where this person was going - I don't know, we went over in group was while there is safety in numbers, when your numbers increase, your chance of being read also increase. If your not concerned with being read then have the safety of all your girlfriends around. If being read is a major concern, then set up other safety measures, have someone to call and check in with if your going some where, where your safety may be an issue. If you don't check in that friend is to get you help ASAP.

Guess that's it for now, take care all!

Queen of Pentacles

 

[lincspoacher]

as subject

Hi again too,

The last part of your post was my exact argument .. but the other person wasn't having any ..

She was of the confirmed opinion that "gatherings" of Girls should be avoided like the plague,in case they got "read" .. whilst I respect her right to hold such opinions,I can't help but feel she misses the point that not everyone else sees it quite that way .. however,we agreed to disagree & no harm was done.

I also fully appreciate that the further into Transition one goes,the less inclined one might be to visit "scene" venues in favour of "straight" places (and I intend no disrespect in saying that .. it's just easier to explain what I mean in those terms).

I do enjoy a good debate and am always willing to listen to those more wise than I .. as a Man whose experience is very much second-hand (via my previous long-term partners),I still have much to learn ...

Bye for now,

Poacher ...

 

[QueenPentacles]

Evening Poacher.

You seem to have a very good grasp on the whole situation, don't sell yourself short. If this other person failed to see the need for safety, I worry for her.

Too many trans people have been hurt or killed in recent years to ignore that there is a whole segment of the population that in deed intend us harm because they do not share our beliefs about ourselves. In the San Fransico Bay area, rumoredly one of the most excepting areas in the US for "alternataive lives / life styles" we've had at least 3 trans murders that I can remember off the top of my head in the past couple of years.

I urge anyone to remember their personnal safety. The "Bull in the China Shop" or the "To hell with everyone I am" attitudes that I know I've had and used in the past could get ones self hurt in the current political / "moral" climate that seems to be sweeping the country.

Queen of Pentacles

 

[lincspoacher]

as subject

Hello again,

Totally agree with all you've said regarding safety & thank you for the compliment ... I try my best ..

When Dating .. and specifically meeting for the first time,I always offer the Lady the option of meeting for Lunch in a well populated,public place in broad daylight .. that way if she feels uncomfortable she can easily leave .. and it protects me from a possible "come-on" ensnarement by potential muggers,working in cahoots with a TG woman .. it has been known here,though thankfully only rarely .. but it pays to think "Safe".

Bye for now,

Poacher ..

 

[Gi_Venus]

I had one man trying to lure me out to his trailer in the woods, he said"just ignore the other man out there he just camps on the property" He became very angry when I insisted on a public place to meet. I of course did not meet him. I think it is important to foster and promote a community wherever you are for mutual support. The reality is most people will not accept us do to their ideals and mainly that they like to stay with what is familiar. It is why I believe that a slow education is best to let people get used to you. The in your face ideal is really a challenge to their perceptions and their morality.....how will they choose? You cannot change them...why push them?
Subtle gentler ways are best with a realistic expectation. However I do not think we should live in fear either.
Gianna

 

[Sonchyenne]

I'm a bit surprised to learn that the US is apparently so backward .. here in UK we have the Gender Recognition Act,which protects Transgendered people in areas of Health care,Employment etc .. it's now illegal to discriminate on grounds of Gender,or Sexual orientation.

All official documents (Driving Licence,National Insurance,National Health Card,Passport,Bank Accounts etc) may be changed once one has changed one's name (by Deed Poll) .. with the exception of the Birth Certificate .. in the case of a M2F or F2M,this can be done only after SRS.

We are getting better, slowly but surely. Did you know about the recent change in the US passport policy?

 

[Gi_Venus]

this survey is the first of it's kind, giving solid data on the discrimination against the transgendered.

http://www.thetaskforce.org/reports_and_research/ntds