Transgenderism: How Far Have You Gone?

[Gi_Venus]

Honest question here :

Are we simply referring to those who are gender dysphoric, and wish to (regardless of how they might act on it) make a transition from one gender to the other? Or are any of the trans community welcome in this discussion?

The reason I ask, really, is that I lurk on these boards ALL the time - I feel like I know a lot of you well enough, and I apologize for not chiming in far more than I do to allow you the same advantage. I'm a beginning crossdresser, myself, and I've been reading these boards to get a feel for the community I've recently become a part of. I feel amazingly welcome here - and thank you all for that - but I don't post often because I'm usually doing the learning, rather than the sharing of experience.

But, in reading the original post of this thread WAY back on page 1, it seemed the OP had little interest in transitioning. Much like myself, they seemed to acknowledge a male side and a female side to their personality, and certain triggers - or just their mood at the time - can make them feel more masculine or effeminate.

Personally, I would LOVE to be a woman. Personally, I just don't enjoy being a man. There's really nothing very redeeming about masculinity in my opinion, as it only tends to make people aggressive, narrow-minded, and thoughtless. Women are gentle, caring, soft, beautiful... need I go on? I enjoy my crossdressing for these reasons, as it puts me squarely into my female persona. As both my wife and my Domme would attest to, being dressed as a woman causes a drastic personality change in me, down to my involuntary reactions.

However, for as much as I ENJOY my female persona, I don't truly feel that "nature has made a mistake" or that "I'm really a woman on the inside," or any such assertion. I was made a man. I know and accept I am a man, and I still have masculine feelings. I have no great wish (past innocent fantasy) to become a woman physically.

So, my question is this : Where does this put me? Am I transgendered, or simply a crossdresser who really gets into character? Is this reasonably common for people to shift personalities like I do, but not wish to pursue physical transition?

-- Penguin (Scott / Sara)

Hi Scott/Sara *hugs* The drive to dress is much the same as for us transexuals, it is a part of your gender identity and an expression of your need to be who you are whether that is full female or partial is irrelevant. We all fall within the range of male to female and not only do we do this but we are mixtures of female and male traits just to complicate things. *grin* we are all truly unique as the variations are truly endless........ well okay, I know there are mathematicians who will figure it out....but you get the idea.

 

[Etoile]

Maybe it all depends on who she is. I've had a few problems with GGs that are of the lesbian orientation. Seems that some feel that MtF TGs are mocking women.

FTR, I am totally not one of those.

 

[BangN_x_BRITT]

i wish you the luck in whatever you choose to do

I agree with Tymeless

 

[Gi_Venus]

FTR, I am totally not one of those.

Hi Etoile Noted.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Maybe it all depends on who she is. I've had a few problems with GGs that are of the lesbian orientation. Seems that some feel that MtF TGs are mocking women.

FTR, I am totally not one of those.

Hi Etoile Noted.

women women women, Gi. What is it I have told you before about Etoile ?
She is not after the TGs at all, the only thing I know is. That She is very reserved and private when it comes to things. And I have known from the start that she was a damn good moderator.

If Etoile hated heterosexual people. Then I would be mad and angry, not because I am straight, but because then she wouldn´t be a good moderator. Or a good person for that matter, and I would protest in the loudest way possible. So Gi and all others who have some feelings that say otherwise about Etoile, don´t sweat it. So Gi, it is great you see the truth in her writing. But damn, sometimes women are women .

 

[Gi_Venus]

women women women, Gi. What is it I have told you before about Etoile ?
She is not after the TGs at all, the only thing I know is. That She is very reserved and private when it comes to things. And I have known from the start that she was a damn good moderator.

If Etoile hated heterosexual people. Then I would be mad and angry, not because I am straight, but because then she wouldn´t be a good moderator. Or a good person for that matter, and I would protest in the loudest way possible. So Gi and all others who have some feelings that say otherwise about Etoile, don´t sweat it. So Gi, it is great you see the truth in her writing. But damn, sometimes women are women .

wolfie! I needed convincing? lol I know her views from her postings and I find her character impeccable. As concise as my writings may sometimes be I have been known to focus on one thing while casting dispersions over all on what I am saying. In other words I can sometimes speak in general terms and cause a miscommunication. And sometimes I am too verbose.... just sometimes.
So! just tell me to shut up. Nicely.....of course, no need to induce a temperamental fit......not that I am prone to such things.....noooooo.....*grin* I am solid as a rock. Do you think they will believe me?

 

[Wolfman1982]

Gi_Venus: strangely enough rock rhymes on cock. But yes you are solid and would I give you a temperamental fit here ? no that is reserved to IM and well , I didn´t feel like quoting the song People Are People by Depeche Mode here, since that is only "people" in general. And not only women. That is why I wrote "women are women".

 

[Gi_Venus]

Gi_Venus: strangely enough rock rhymes on cock. But yes you are solid and would I give you a temperamental fit here ? no that is reserved to IM and well , I didn´t feel like quoting the song People Are People by Depeche Mode here, since that is only "people" in general. And not only women. That is why I wrote "women are women".

a fit where? *innocent look*

 

[Wolfman1982]

a fit where? *innocent look*

IM is either Individual Mutualism (taken from the book The Stainless Steelrat gets drafted) , Instant Message, or something else

 

[Gi_Venus]

Instant misery? Insane Mind? Indulgent mindlessness, Insane Mame? I believe the later is the one to which you are referring. *grin* I plead hormonal insanity, at the time I was on the wrong dosage.

 

[Gi_Venus]

How far have I gone? Out there baby! Lol

 

[Tymeless]

damn close to living as a woman!

 

[tommynova2001]

Maybe it all depends on who she is. I've had a few problems with GGs that are of the lesbian orientation. Seems that some feel that MtF TGs are mocking women.

When that happens they are thinking of drag performers who are (maybe adoringly) mocking them, (and us).

I dress conservatively and I cant imagine a woman taking offense.

I dress at home for fun..probably mildly ts, but like my male side a lot too...been feeling strictly male for two months and strangly feeling softer tonight. miss my femme self...

have done wif make-p photography, small outing with my wife as beard..
shop for clothes all the time...out myself half unaware at the stores..just fun for me I like to think but I realize there is more..

 

[Tymeless]

welcome to the family hun

 

[Tymeless]

well i'm at 9 months on hormones now. The results are spectacular and I can't wait for my life as a woman full time to begin in a few months.

 

[Pattythebelle]

Been a while since the last post. Maybe this subject needs a little boost

 

[danisometimes]

thank you for bringing this to light... i do a lot of theater, my transgenderism was fueled more by my method acting class i am in. I've been a crossdresser, albeit a tranny for 10 years. It's like a jekyil and hyde complex...drab boring boy becomes vivacious chick who loves wet panties and a cock.

I go to classes wearing full lingerie and ladies suits, having wig and makeup fully done by an artist and supportive friend for a satire im in as a female, even had some experiences, even have a fantasy being fufilled this weekend, my bridal weekend

 

[Gi_Venus]

I live as a woman full time mostly, I dress down to take my child to school because of the over action of other parents. I do not feel a need to be extravagant. I am more about being me than projecting who I am. Sometimes people stare and most do not understand the difference between cross dressers and transsexuals. Fortunately for me I do not have strong male facial traits. How far have I gone? I self identify and live as a woman.

 

[Pattythebelle]

I live as a woman full time mostly, I dress down to take my child to school because of the over action of other parents. I do not feel a need to be extravagant. I am more about being me than projecting who I am. Sometimes people stare and most do not understand the difference between cross dressers and transsexuals. Fortunately for me I do not have strong male facial traits. How far have I gone? I self identify and live as a woman.

I am glad to see that I am not the only one that feels that being oneself is a greater need than projecting who I am. Unfortunately because of my male traits I imagine I get many more stares than you do but I have found that as long as I hold my head high and no longer worry about what others think I have found some happiness in my life. As for my outward style of dress, I have found that the androgonous comfortable style works very well for me.

 

[Gi_Venus]

I am glad to see that I am not the only one that feels that being oneself is a greater need than projecting who I am. Unfortunately because of my male traits I imagine I get many more stares than you do but I have found that as long as I hold my head high and no longer worry about what others think I have found some happiness in my life. As for my outward style of dress, I have found that the androgonous comfortable style works very well for me.

There was a time where I was terrified. I gradually did the androgyny thing, as I got more feminine people were starting to stare. When I finally was open about my condition I overwhelmingly got a good response from those in my environment. Still, I draw stares particularly when I talk, I do not have my "voice". My little boy is partially to blame, he laughs when I practice my "voice", he says I sound like Mickey Mouse. *sigh* One of the factors of learning vocal control is learning to bypass talking in your chest, genetic males have larger chests and vocal boxes, the voice resonates more. By moving the voice to the vocal chords and talking high in the throat one can reduce the resonance and sound like a natural female with practice

Being oneself is the premier concern I think. And that should be the focus. The more I am myself the happier I am.

 

[Pattythebelle]

There was a time where I was terrified. I gradually did the androgyny thing, as I got more feminine people were starting to stare. When I finally was open about my condition I overwhelmingly got a good response from those in my environment.

Being oneself is the premier concern I think. And that should be the focus. The more I am myself the happier I am.

You are absolutely right about the focus being oneself no matters what. It wasn't until I finally came out to everyone that I found some semblance of peace within myself.

 

[Gi_Venus]

You are absolutely right about the focus being oneself no matters what. It wasn't until I finally came out to everyone that I found some semblance of peace within myself.

Oh yes, lol, I was in absolute terror until I was open with everyone. My best friend outed me to my family, in retrospect it was a favor even if at the time it was awful. I had the illusion that I could transition quietly and in secret.

 

[Pattythebelle]

Oh yes, lol, I was in absolute terror until I was open with everyone. My best friend outed me to my family, in retrospect it was a favor even if at the time it was awful. I had the illusion that I could transition quietly and in secret.

I can relate to that terror. My last several years in the military was the worst for me after coming out to my SO. I not only had to become comfortable with her knowing but feared my kids outing me to the outside world at the time. It wasn't until I finally left the military that I became more open about who I was.

 

[stlpenguin]

Wow, I had no idea this topic was even still open!

I've been finding this whole situation psychologically straining... at the top of this very page, Gi quoted something I said quite a while ago (year and a half ago?) and there I said I had no desire to transition, just to explore my gender identity through outward expression.

I'm not sure that's the case any longer. I'm finding more and more that being a guy just doesn't cut it. I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of playing make-believe with my female identity. I've gone through a couple of phases, and some pretty nerve-wracking emotions. There was a level of self-acceptance that I went through, where I came to realize that I wanted to be a girl after all, then a frightening period (that I'm still sort of in) of cluing my friends in on my state of mind & body. Recently, I've been finding that I don't even want to dress up anymore, though - if I can't have the whole thing, playing pretend dress-up isn't going to cut it... it feels cheap, and when I look in the mirror I have a tough time not seeing a guy in drag, rather than the woman I want to be... and then I'm disgusted with myself because I think I look foolish.

The tough part is the money - There's a licensed gender therapist in the area, and a support group for transgendered people, but with my being out of work currently, it's not possible for me to see him. The support group is also a half hour away, making the gas to get there a little expensive, though less now that a gallon of gas isn't going for $4 anymore.

I've promised myself I wouldn't do anything until I talked to someone professionally though. My friends are all supportive - the ones that know, at least - so I have them to go to if I need to talk. I still dress occasionally, though never to full transformation. For instance, currently, I'm wearing a pair of hose and a comfy skirt, and have been walking around in my ballet flats all day, but I haven't done any makeup or wig or anything else.

I don't really have a point to posting here... I guess I just wanted to poke my head back into the discussion and say I'm still here, still transgendered, and thankful there are others out there who are willing to chat about it.

-- Scott / Sara

 

[Gi_Venus]

Wow, I had no idea this topic was even still open!

I've been finding this whole situation psychologically straining... at the top of this very page, Gi quoted something I said quite a while ago (year and a half ago?) and there I said I had no desire to transition, just to explore my gender identity through outward expression.

I'm not sure that's the case any longer. I'm finding more and more that being a guy just doesn't cut it. I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of playing make-believe with my female identity. I've gone through a couple of phases, and some pretty nerve-wracking emotions. There was a level of self-acceptance that I went through, where I came to realize that I wanted to be a girl after all, then a frightening period (that I'm still sort of in) of cluing my friends in on my state of mind & body. Recently, I've been finding that I don't even want to dress up anymore, though - if I can't have the whole thing, playing pretend dress-up isn't going to cut it... it feels cheap, and when I look in the mirror I have a tough time not seeing a guy in drag, rather than the woman I want to be... and then I'm disgusted with myself because I think I look foolish.

The tough part is the money - There's a licensed gender therapist in the area, and a support group for transgendered people, but with my being out of work currently, it's not possible for me to see him. The support group is also a half hour away, making the gas to get there a little expensive, though less now that a gallon of gas isn't going for $4 anymore.

I've promised myself I wouldn't do anything until I talked to someone professionally though. My friends are all supportive - the ones that know, at least - so I have them to go to if I need to talk. I still dress occasionally, though never to full transformation. For instance, currently, I'm wearing a pair of hose and a comfy skirt, and have been walking around in my ballet flats all day, but I haven't done any makeup or wig or anything else.

I don't really have a point to posting here... I guess I just wanted to poke my head back into the discussion and say I'm still here, still transgendered, and thankful there are others out there who are willing to chat about it.

-- Scott / Sara

Hello Scott/Sara *hugs* There is a growing population of people that see themselves inbetween. Generally for self identity we polarize to one sex or the other. Many of the transsexuals I have met have gone through a stage like you are describing, in fact I think it is more common than not.
We are marginalized by society, which makes stealth so important to the individual. If we lived in a society that was more open this would not be an issue. The reality is we have a great chance of being victimized by those around us. Crimes of violence are the norm rather than the exception.
I believe being transgendered means we have a 1/12 chance of being murdered, this varies of course in where you live it will be higher in some areas and of course what we expose ourselves too. With such dynamics it means we have to be stronger than the normal individual, caution is a very real advantage.
Thanks for the update And be strong.

*hugs* to you whether you end up inbetween or as a woman.:rose