Two things every married woman needs.

I'm waiting for the inevitable, "you just need a man who is a better lover!"
 
I was laying in bed this morning and I started thinking.

Every straight or bisexual married woman should have a penis cage for her husband, and a Bumble account...

What else do we need?


An infinite lingerie collection.
Also, an infinite sex toy collection.
 
I'm waiting for the inevitable, "you just need a man who is a better lover!"

We can’t compete with technology.

But we take care of spiders and mice, though it’s only a matter of time.
 
Zumi!! This is Spot.On!! 😃

Separate bathrooms lead to long marriages.

I think every home in the entire world should have separate bathrooms 😃

What works with roommates should work with a married partner as well, I reckon! :D

Also the more adequately spacious the bathrooms are, the better. Doesn't have to be super huge, just enough to walk around in without hitting the sink or toilet when you turn around or open the door.

The Hilton Doubletree hotels get it right. This is perfect for me.

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/14/59/bc/b6/bath-tub-and-shower.jpg
 
A Burdizzo.

One for every hundred women would do; they only need to use it once!
 
I was laying in bed this morning and I started thinking.

Every straight or bisexual married woman should have a penis cage for her husband, and a Bumble account...

What else do we need?
a sense of humour and the patience of a saint? ;)
 
We can’t compete with technology.

But we take care of spiders and mice, though it’s only a matter of time.
Do i look like I'd be scared of bugs and rodents?

I'm forever having to rescue him from spiders :rolleyes:
 
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