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Nem

oh dear... well there's always next time... off to get some sun.. have a good afternoon...
 
Afternoon guys:)

I'm bored so it's time to giggle-

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?" The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in." So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go. After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table. The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking cola bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me." "I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are fucking menthol".


I've noticed that only Brits really laugh at this one...it must be the language:D
 
Guinevere said:
Afternoon guys:)

I'm bored so it's time to giggle-

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?" The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in." So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go. After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table. The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking cola bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me." "I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are fucking menthol".


I've noticed that only Brits really laugh at this one...it must be the language:D
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LOL,

Ohhh god that is funny, think only Brits get it cos some of them things arn't called that in America..

Funny as hell tho, thanks for sharing and being sooo funny
 
I'm not sure what to post yet so I find that jokes and making people laugh usually works.

I doing a lot of reading so I can sort of figure out who is who...ah you know what I mean right? :)
 
I was in Borders all afternoon (okay, for about four hours or so)...reading. Ah, bliss! I was reading manga, read four volumes of 'Mars'.

Damn. I have a crush on Rei. I thought I'd get a crush on Masao but then he went all creepy and eugh. People who get off on killing others don't turn me on. But Rei....sigh. He looks gay but whatever, not as gay as George Koizumi. GAH!! Maybe I just have a thing for manga boys??? They're all so pretty. They all seem to be my type. Especially Rei and George. Both are warped, majorly, though. However, relationship with Rei is better than with George because George is just too... impossible. However, Rei's got a horribly violent streak. I mean, I just got to the end of vol 6 when I had to go. He was holding somebody at knifepoint at that moment (the freaky Masao guy). I mean, that's bad, but he used Masao's hand as an ashtray. But then, Masao is kinda masochist too. Sorta offered. Anyway, warped characters, totally warped. Have a desire to warp out all my male characters in the new novel I'm writing at the moment too (1500 words so far)--started it today.
 
Evening everyone...

Hope you've all had a good day, just had a big bust up with my dickhead neighbour apparantly im playing my music too loud, Ha silly wanker, just turned it right up for a full 5 mins to annoy him :)
 
Good on you Nem. My brother turns music up really loud in the car, but it's usually quite different from the usual rap: he's passionate about classical esp. Beethoven's piano sonatas.
 
Marsipanne said:
Good on you Nem. My brother turns music up really loud in the car, but it's usually quite different from the usual rap: he's passionate about classical esp. Beethoven's piano sonatas.
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I prefer Rock myself :)
 
keep em jokes comin Guenevere, they're really good. I especially like the one with Lord Sandwich.

Takin about rock try "Last Cup of Sorrow". by Faith No More
 
i'm new too!

based in london, just found this site by accident and it's rather marvellous.

anyone want me to write them an erotic story? give me details and I shall provide you with a tasty treat!
 
Hi everyone,

Its very early in the morning but I can't sleep, too hot and tooth ache keeping me up, lol

Hi to Phar and Sonofrasputin and welcome to Lit and this thread,

Hope you will both post alot more and enjoy it here!!!
 
thanks for the kind welcome nemesis, already this seems like a great community, i hope i'll be able to contribute loads!

I got woken up by an insane storm about three. what the hell's with the weather here?! it's all going tropical.
 
Hieveryone,

Would love to stay and talk but power about to be shut off so stupid council can make repairs to something or other :mad:

See you all when I can!!
 
I read 8 volumes of manga yesterday. Finished the series of Mars. Also bought another book, which I also read yesterday (started at midnight, and couldn't stop. Woke up at 11:30 today). But, my best friend's back from her holiday so I'm very happy. Agh, I hope that I can manage to hit my 10,000 word target today. I was going to write all afternoon but so far I've done one paragraph. Was playing Sims again..

Funnily enough, my brother likes Rock, but only some specific stuff. I don't know what exactly his criteria are, but he likes rock more than, say, pop.
 
Just thought i would say hello to lit uk have been lurking around for quite a while and have finally decided to join in the fun.
On the subject of music that everyone is currently on my taste is immensely varied- from rap/hip-hop thru rock/ metal (btw nem enter sandman by metallica is one of my all time favourite tracks) all the way to classical.
Hope to get to know you (and your perversions)!:D
 
mark197205 said:
Just thought i would say hello to lit uk have been lurking around for quite a while and have finally decided to join in the fun.
On the subject of music that everyone is currently on my taste is immensely varied- from rap/hip-hop thru rock/ metal (btw nem enter sandman by metallica is one of my all time favourite tracks) all the way to classical.
Hope to get to know you (and your perversions)!:D
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Hi and welcome Mark197205... or will just Mark do (hope)

Nice to meet you and welcome to lit,

Will be nice to get to know you too but I think you'll be more interested in knowing all the sexy girls of Lit, LOL
 
Re: Hi

moonflower619 said:
Another Scot here.

Just found this site today so still finding my way around
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Hi and welcome Moonflower619...

Nice to meet you and hope to see you around alot more
 
Nemasis, I've been meaning to ask you where you get all the Smileys (or Shitties or Fuckies or whatever they happen to be doing in any particular case). I mean, dancing bananas are all well and good, but the banging and buggering ones are a hoot.
 
zukethecuke said:
Nemasis, I've been meaning to ask you where you get all the Smileys (or Shitties or Fuckies or whatever they happen to be doing in any particular case). I mean, dancing bananas are all well and good, but the banging and buggering ones are a hoot.
Click to expand...
Now should I really give away my secrets, LOL

www.planetsmilies.com

Go there and there is thousends of them all in catagouries to choose from :D

And its Nem not Nemasis to friends mate!!!

p.s... you'll have to put <img src= before the address of the smile and a > after it (leave no spaces) for it to show up in your sigline mate :)
 
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